Waves

@integral Good stuff, thanks. Is there a particular extension you prefer?

It's been going on for a while now. I remember one night, in March, in which I couldn't fall asleep. I was tossing and turning in my bed, feeling an intense anger and a sense of stuckness in my stomach. The following days I even developed a cough, and I'm pretty sure it was related to the digestive blockage. From then on, it's been going on and off in intensity, but always there in the background. It's clearly associated to emotional stress, but even now that sources of eternal stress are minimal, I can't seem to restore my digestive capacity. Every morning I wake up feeling that my stomach is a bit heavy and has stuff in it. Also I feel something in my throat that I can't swallow. My dietary & lifestyle habits: I eat mostly whole-food, plant-based with some eggs here and there First meal is a smoothie around 12pm, last meal between 8-9pm I try to eat mindfully and chew more than I feel normal, although it doesn't always happen Good appetite I exercise regularly (weight-lifting, yoga, cycling) Stopped drinking coffee in April or so, now only decaf In general I'm on a journey to explore my body and emotional world and working to feel more, letting go of tension, etc. What do you think I could do? I was thinking of doing a 36h water fast to give the whole system a break, but other than that and drinking ginger tea I currently don't have many ideas. I'd prefer not to resort to medications and stick to more natural methods at this stage. I appreciate any inputs

You don't need a commonplace book to contemplate. Just sit down with pen and paper, no distractions, and focus on the question. Leo explains it in the video I linked. You can then transcribe the insights you had in your commonplace book or where you keep notes. The benefit is also in getting your mind to go through the process of deriving the answer. It's not clear to me what you're worried about. I feel you're overthinking all of this and having a lot of "shoulds". You don't need to do all questions one after the other, you don't need to have perfect concentration or circumstances to contemplate, you don't need to do anything. Have you actually tried sitting down and contemplating? Start small if it seems daunting. Start with just one question. But start.

It depends on how long you're able to focus. Start with what you're feel comfortable, set a timer, then push yourself a little longer. It's like meditation. 20min is basic, 30min is good, and the juice comes between 30-60min. It also depends on the question you're contemplating. Use your intuition to get a feel for when you got the most out of the question. Leo has a video on How to Contemplate Using a Journal

Leo has got something for you (from the latest video, time-stamped):

@Average Investor I'm going to bed between 11pm and midnight. In terms of meal size it depends. Lately I'm having a big lunch in the afternoon and a lighter dinner, but it's not consistent. And now that I think about it I'm always full at the end of the meal, I don't leave much space. Probably not the best habit, especially for dinner. But at the same time I feel like I need to eat substantially to fuel myself properly. I'll try out the water fast soon and see how I feel. @Razard86 Yes I'm on a healing journey, which of course is a long-term process. Anger has always been there but "awakened" by a relationship and by other yogic methods of transmutation and sublimation. Right now I'm at a point where I'm getting familiar with it, but still struggle to play with it in a way that releases it. @Realms of Wonder Interesting, there might be some traffic in the whole digestive system haha, which makes sense, since it's all linked. I heard juices protocols can also help, but I'm not psychologically ready to only drink juice for 5 days straight. Currently things are still flowing through, although less freely than before. Might have to do with the fact that I stopped drinking coffee, which is laxative, and now I'm confronted with the reality that it's not as harmonious as I thought it was.

Found these two on this forum actually, good for a cry with the flavor of self-love

You don't need to go cold-turkey, it seems that you're clearly getting value from Youtube, and you might be in a period of your life where gathering knowledge and building a solid theoretical foundation is what you need to do. What I'd suggest is to change your relationship to it, making it more mature and intentional. First thing I would do is noticing what leads you to spend more time than you'd like on it. Are you watching 10 short videos, jumping from one to the other, or do you watch longer videos, treating them as lectures, watching for longer periods of time, uninterrupted, taking notes, etc.? If it's more of a mindless form of consumption, where you go down a rabbit hole and watch video after video, I would use some extension like Unhook, which dumbs down your Youtube page so that you can only see your subscriptions and playlists. No recommended, no home page. This helped me prevent going on loops and really only watching videos I intend to watch. When I feel I'd like to discover other videos (e.g. recommended), I scroll through Youtube on my phone, which has a timer of 5min per day. This way I have the option to receive new inputs without indulging in them. This depends on the type of content you consume, but at some point you'll notice you're saturated, like you cannot take in more information for the day. That's when you firmly and quickly decide to turn off your device and go do something else. It's important to change scenery, go outside for a walk. Of course, having other meaningful things to do helps spending less time on it. Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport is a great book to get an idea of what it looks like to have a more conscious and intentional relationship with technologies.

@Danioover9000 This is pretty specific... You show up with some personality, you enjoy yourself and create a good experience for both of you, and you feel the girl. If she's messing with you, you'll find out pretty soon and you can decide to keep playing the game, call her out, or stand up and leave. It's about being relaxed and paying attention, and having respect for yourself.

You're 21, enjoy fooling around with girls, and bring as much consciousness as you can into the process to not only learn about the feminine, sexuality, sensuality, socialization, seduction etc., but most importantly to learn about who you are. Meditation on the side, or whatever spiritual practice you decide to engage with, will synergize with this process, and vice versa: relationships can be a source of enormous growth, including emotional and spiritual. They will show you where your shadows are, how you're limiting yourself, how you go about fulfilling your emotional needs, and much more. Whatever you decide to do, engage with it fully, face your fears and limitations and enjoy the ride

Mostly talking from day game and dates experiences: make observations, assumptions, guesses about her, keep it playful and chill. Get curious about how she is as a person, her personality, her perspectives, her qualities, her dreams, her fears, her quirks. Find out how she is uniquely beautiful, dig to find her humanness, and don't forget to tease her in the process

When did you start believing this in your life? Can you pinpoint an event (or multiple ones) in your childhood that made you come up with the belief that it's not okay to express certain emotions? This is something I'm trying to become aware within myself, I'm working on it, and just throwing out pointers I'm wrestling with at the moment. Please just take these as suggestions to contemplate for yourself. What I'm intuiting is that you're operating from a core belief of inadequacy/insecurity/scarcity. You're negatively motivated instead of being positively motivated (see Leo's video about that). You are reacting to the past instead of creating the future that you want. Focusing on lack instead of abundance. There is a process of letting go involved here. Letting go of limiting beliefs, of fear and all these other emotions that you're holding in and not letting them flow within. Try sitting down, feeling into tensions in your body, and just observe how these feelings move and change if you give them space, without wanting them to be different. You may also benefit from looking into shadow work, basically integrating versions of yourself that have been suppressed, that have been labeled as unacceptable, and that are screaming for attention and love.

Definitely a video about Creativity, and his new course

I haven't personally experimented with it, but it L-theanine has been shown to help reducing the agitating effects of caffeine. You can check out https://examine.com/supplements/theanine/ for a summary of the benefits and info on dosage. Depending on the method you use, you could also try making half-decaf coffee, by mixing decaf and normal ground coffee 50/50.

@JonasVE12 has some pretty good points. Normally, when I'm feeling apathy I find myself seeking constant stimulation and being stuck in a loop, it's more like restlessness at that point, but with a depressive tone. It takes just a little beam of awareness to have the strength to take a break, stop what I'm doing and lay on the ground/bed and just be. With this move you create the space to interrupt the pattern, and give a chance to emotions to move through. Be gentle with yourself, accept and welcome the feeling of apathy, go into it, let it tell you what it wants to communicate, and let it go (the Sedona Method could help here, really recommended). By releasing it you let emotions that carry more energy surface, such as anger. As you gather more strength, you want to change your environment and move energy around: go for a walk outside, preferably in nature, or a workout (running and boxing are great). In this way you get some fresh air (= new perspective), you move from your mind into your body (very important), and you'll relax, especially if you have an open space in front of you (muscles in your eyes will relax and so will you). Another thing that help is to speak to myself out loud, it forces you to express what's going on. Also, you might want to check out this awesome post:

This is pretty extreme, have you done thousands of approaches and did your self-esteem stay the same? You're starting off already thinking it's not possible to get a girl. Being sexually desirable is not the only factor that raises your self-esteem. Recognizing you're on your path, aligning with your hero's journey will do wonders. And you can do that through journaling, contemplation, self-reflection and many other types of inner work. Go out in the world and experience life. Even just feeling strong and at ease in your own body through exercise, nutrition, awareness, etc. will help. Approach it from different angles and you'll build a solid foundation.

Currently reading Attached by Levine & Heller, good read in this context, they talk about these attachment styles. I'm mostly Anxious/Preoccupied, but also have Secure features. Feeling needy af especially when starting to date someone and it doesn't go away by having more girls to give attention to. I crave intimacy, I'm over-sensitive to rejection and often worry about the state of the relationship. It's like I need frequent confirmation that it's going well.

I listened to his book Can't Hurt Me and I would recommend it. I also liked the podcast with Rich Roll of a couple of years back. He lived a pretty rough life, hit serious lows, and responded to that with incredible will power, discipline, and fortitude. Personally I'm quite fed up with the Navy Seals stories, but if you never dip your toes in that field, it's worth looking what there is there. He's certainly a good role model for Stage Blue qualities, similar to Jocko Willink. From him you can learn to go from apathy and stagnation to action. It won't lead you much higher, just approach as you would any teaching: take what's good (=broader lessons for life and inspiration) and what resonates in a deep way, and don't get hung up on the rest, i.e. his extreme lifestyle.

You mean as articulate as he was in this exchange? https://twitter.com/jordanbpeterson/status/1460776261010264067 He has a talent with words, spent his life reading and teaching. Personally I don't find his way with words that magnetic, and usually I'm able to appreciate this quality. Don't get me wrong, it's certainly impressive , but unnecessarily complex.

The curiosity to find out how much I can grow, transform, expand, what I can craft this human avatar into, how widely and deeply I can understand and learn about the world and universe at large, how magical the experience of life can get, how passionate and in love with life I can feel. The thrill of being on this journey of inner and outer exploration, of self-discovery, of playing this game of dissolving fear and unveiling layers I put there to conceal my true nature. Seeing myself as a hero, a warrior. Connection with my body and sexuality. Authentic and creative self-expression. Relationships with other people. Contributing to connecting and bringing harmony between nature and humanity.

Some things to consider: What is the alternative? What are you going to do with your time if you quit? How do the job opportunities look like once you get the degree? Financial situation Is there a way in which you can make the most of this experience? How could you reframe the situation from negative to positive motivation? What is the return on investment on your career capital? What meta-skills are you going to learn, like critical thinking, writing skills, etc.?

It's okay, just a byproduct of lack of experience, it will get better the more you get used to being in the presence of a girl, man to woman. Good thing you noticed yourself this brain fog that comes from being in your head. Next time you notice it, breathe, feel into your body, stay present to what's happening. If you don't find anything to say, don't say anything. Allow a space for things to emerge. Being okay with silence is important, it creates tension, especially when you hold a bit of soft eye contact and a smile.

@gettoefl Three points: Yes, a lot of pick up you see around is devilry and manipulation. But rest assured that there are healthier and more conscious ways to do it: being a connector who is sharing his (masculine) gifts, his presence, curiosity, attention, playfulness, sexual energy manifested through his intent in a calibrated way (yes, girls like to feel desired and sexy), etc. Have a look at these guys: The Natural Lifestyles I would introspect and observe what comes up when you think about the idea of a sexually liberated woman. It's a useful pointer to your own insecurities. If you manage to see through those strong reactive emotions and go to the source of that trigger you're in for some fat growth my friend. A hint: where you feel fear is where you need to look and shine light on. If you observe how a person moves and walks, their facial expression, their choice of clothes, the energy in their eyes, you'll be surprised how many things you can derive about them, and how you can feel different just by letting yourself be affected by them and getting into their world for a second. The key here is curiosity. You're finding out how she's like as a person, how she's uniquely beautiful. And oh yeah, women absolutely need to be reminded of the beauties that they are. Of course a compliment best comes from a place of non-neediness, otherwise it has the opposite effect. And you can simply open with what you observe about her, like "You have such confidence in your walk, ..."

Absolutely agree with this, but it's also the case that the skill you learn by cold approaching and the stronger man you become in the process of learning that skill complements and improves your chances in those more organic ways of socializing. It looks like an artificial training ground, but you're basically learning to be proactive, act despite your fears and excuses, make a good first impression and connect with a stranger in a deeper way, a stranger that could be a girl you find attractive, a potential friend or business partner. Also, on the point of "bothering": I still have that mindset to some degree, but what are you actually doing when you chat up a stranger? You break them out of their mundane bubble for a couple of seconds, minutes at most. You're creating a little space for a potential connection to happen. If you mumble something embarrassing, you'll feel a bit cringey and they're going to forget it 1 min later. If you tell them a genuine compliment, you "risk" lighting up their day , and you feel good. That's already a win, not to mention better outcomes than that one.