Aimblack

@Joseph Maynor Yea the same applies to me probably even more. But I don't see how that is actually relevant right now. Because although conceptually I understand that the ego is an illusion, I don't have a direct experience of that right now if you do I hope you have a bit of patience. To elaborate I'm going to use this example.Imagine that all your dreams are as vivid as being awake and you only know after you have awoken that you have been dreaming. Imagine now that every time you go to sleep you have the worst nightmares ever and go see a therapist and he tells you: "Don't worry about it those are just dreams."

Shinzen likes to put it this way, we meditate alot so that eventually the habit of meditation is the thing that meditates, just like in the beginning when you begin to drive or do any new activity you need to focus to perform that task but after a while the habit of driving the car is what eventually drives.

Yes I notice that frequently within myself, what helps is that preceding every of my actions, thoughts,feelings there is an intention. Catch that intention and you pretty much stop that habit from playing out unconsciously.

@harisankartj I have misunderstood you then, I took it as an absolute checklist of what makes higher consciousness.

Who compiled that list? This may be just my ignorance speaking as I am only a beginner but my experience has been almost the opposite of what you describe. 1. No I have never felt so integrated in my whole life 2. I have no idea what that means. 3.Yes. 4.Yes. 5.Nope, see answer no. 1, I am less involved but that is the exact thing that let's me engage with it, because I'm less in my own head. 6. Yes. 7.Kinda, I just want to stop the suffering. 8. No I haven't felt less like there is a me or that I actually am in my entire life.To be honest I also haven't been more confused so take everything I'll say with a grain of salt. My point is that it may not necessarily be that helpful to create such a list with seemingly arbitrary points. Because they may or may not be an actual product of your practice. You may just relate to ppl differently because your interest changed drastically and haven't spoken to old friends for a long time and not because you made any significant progress. Your mind being "alone" may be a product of you spending alot of time alone and not because of your practice. To me it feels like the points you listed may be related to consciousness work but not necessarily a direct product of having a higher consciousness.

I'm more or less in the same situation and I use that as an opportunity.I reframe the situation and use everything I perceive as a problem as a theme in meditation. I ask myself why there is any problem and why I feel the need to change anything. I look for situations when it's worse and when it's better and I actually use the situations that come up in Love-Kindness meditation which in general makes you a much more chill person to be around when you are on the path.

You should definitely check out shinzen young's way of teaching. He has several methods to implement a practice in life: One way is by "stopping on a dime", which is exactly that. At random moments in your day you just stop whatever you are doing and start doing whatever meditation practice that you like for as long as you like with the intent to make it the best 30 seconds or 3 minutes of meditation that is possible. Another way is trigger practice. You listen to music,watch a film or something that gets you riled up and then you do your practice. The goal there being that if you first learn to do that with practice wheels and then eventually you should be able to do that outside as well. The last general way is a challenge sequence. You got the first part down already, which is you can go deep by sitting down. The next step would be to do that with your eyes open, the one after that while standing and then walking etc. etc. I am personally doing a challenge sequence myself and the difference is pretty good considering that I've been only doing it since a month or so.