haai14

@Leo Gura what am i experiencing then.

@Leo Gura You said "I was wrong about the metaphysics of the law of attraction. I no longer believe the law of attraction merely works through brute mechanical means" could you explain where and how? im just curious.

I was meditating for about 17 minutes when i realized im surprising something and when i surrendered to it i started moving my body right and left and my head was moving in circles. Anyone had a similar expirience or know what this is.

Im thinking of making a contemplating habit but i dont know why it is good, you can say i need to contemplate it but i did and still dont know. I think that only thoughts that help are if we contemplate things about our selves, why we did something, of what are we afraid... But how can i contemplate something like what is time and what is reality... Arent we then just mentally masturbating and getting nowhere, these thing can only be experienced and then understood and not by thinking about them. Of course we should learn about them from people that already experienced it because we will make it easier to make sense of it when experienced.

@egoless when you get enlightened you dont say im enlightened. You stop caring about anything even that fact that your enlightened. there is a saying that when your enlightened you dont prefer enlightenment over nonenlightenment. So it cant be another belief because you completly drop all beliefs and that cant be a ultra belief because your not like i dont got beliefs its just the way it is. And dont think about enlightenment as something more valuable then ego perspective or that it it goal of life. It will just make your life easier. Its no more true than ego perspective because all illusions are real but they make you suffer. Alan watts had a great metaphor. when you look life thru microscope and thru normal eye, both perspectives are true just one is small and one big ( i cant think of an good way to put it). I hope i made sense.

@Leo Gura this isnt my comment by the way, some guy wrote it on your video. Huh this is hard stuff for me to grasp. I just whanted to see if his comment was true so i dont need to watch the video lol.

I already saw this video but then i was just starting out and i forgotten most of it. I just started to watch it again and i saw this comment that had a bunch of likes and was wondering if someone could explain what he was trying to tell and if it is true. i am sorry for you Leo; i hate to tell you, but this is a deep messy perspective to take. I have gotten stuck on it too, after i watched "mind control" by pagan and woodsmall. I have gotten so stuck in it that the more this perspective deepens the more have suffered- not less (sadly even Wilber said that the only thing you can really do to get out of it is let time pass). Keep in mind what I am about to write is not saying that what you are saying is wrong, but that it is partial- I am saying that because I recognized myself making the same statements and later recognizing they are huge exaggerations of interior aspect of reality over the external. It seems to me that you have moved from viewing from the perspective of spiral dynamics lv 5 (from only the right exterior quadrants exist) to lv 6 (denying all eternal truths and nihilistically destroying them by claiming they are out interior realities and interpretations- or as you called them “Fabrication in your mind ”). This is the exact kind of thinking Ken Wilber is fighting against the most and it is the most dangerous and the most destroying when lv 7 integral/yellow claims come to universities. I know you read ken Wilber, he makes a distinction between absolute and relative truth- which you have forgotten about and just took the perspectives of interiors too far. (just like movie the secret takes it too far claiming you in your mind create your own reality and can manifest anything). Ken Wilber gives many many examples about how flawed this beliefs are, his whole 4 quadrant models is an example of dimensions in relative truths- denying those 4 quadrants does not get you higher, its gives you less depth and fullness in enlightenment- yet you called it “deficiency cognition” and “self agenda”. I am still somewhat stuck in this, however some of ken wilbers books and interviews have helped me see the flaws and exaggerations of this view (best for this is probabaly the book one taste, ). Thinking that language does not exist is the green meme problem of development, it comes before getting stuck on the fulcrum 7- the existential fulcrum that comes with “aperspecival madness”. Btw- the only thing that wants to destroy the ego (and “get” enlightenment.) is the ego- you might be putting too much emphasis on ego. What I tried to say is not that what you said in this videos has no value, I do believe that keeping this in mind and incorporating it moves you further in development, I am just trying to warn you that you probably have gotten a little stuck in it and taken it too far. The funny things is you will not see it at that time- I have read “boomeritis” at that time and it didn’t do any effect on me, only as time passed I made a little switch in my mind. As more time moves on I am able to recognize more surface truths that I have been denying in the past with this kind of thinking. I do still like what you had to say, keep up the good work.

no fap, meditation, solo walking (without music just you whit you), affirmations, visualisation, cold showers and thru out the day just try to switch from your normal bad thinking patterns to better ones (say nice things to yourself). Just doing hard things alone will get you confidence.

I had this experience before 2 months where i got outside and look at the building and was like wtf buildings exist, then i looked at a man and was like wtf people exist and everything was so strange and new. I felt like i was a being from another dimension first time experiencing human life. When i crossed the road i would laugh at a fact that i need to wait for green light and that is how it works here. Then it was a cool feeling but i'm still feeling out of this world and i'm not grounded. I get now this hits of anxiety and fear and by not being grounded i go in some deep depressing places. I was just wondering if this was a spiritual awakening and now my ego is dying and i'm experiencing all this negative emotion. Anyone had similar experience.

@Nahm Frist time when it hit me i tried to understand it but with that depressing emotion i just went deeper into depression, my thoughts are like im egoic im doing this bad... And when i exit it i see that that is not true and that thing that i thought about are completly normal and dont have that depressing emotion. And now when it hits me i surrender completly, i meditate thru it and have very little thoughts but i still feel overwelmed. Everything feels so bad and depressing. Maybe there is something that im not accepting to my self but its not in my awarness. Maybe i just need more time to process it.

@Nahm could you explain i dont understand.

@Nahm ye, for like 6 montsh 20 mins a day. Even if i dont think and i surrender completly im still feeling depressed anxious and fear.

@Serotoninluv To see what you need to accept you need much awareness :P.

I think that the most important thing is acceptance. Frist when you start this path you need to accept your ego fully, dont try to be better and fix it but accept it as it is. Its a hard process because accepting is not easy. And then when you accepted it fully and you dont mind it as it is then you start improving. You will do it from a place of real desire to be healthy and better and not from ego trying to escape itself.

@Sevi thank you @Ian Thank you. Your absolutely right. accepting and loving everything that happens even if its strongly against all your beliefs = no suffering but some bad emotions . @Ryan_047 All suffering is happening from not accepting the moment. For example when you feel bad for not having enough money you dont fix that by getting more money. You fix it by accepting the fact that you feel bad about it and the fact that you dont have it. you dont try to change it. You dont attach more mind chatter on to it and create a story in your head about it you just accept the facts. And after some time you will stop feeling bad about it and then if you whant more money you can pursue it but you will not need that money you will just to it from a calm and collected place. So when you see your self suffering just accept the facts and dont attach more thoughts on to it. Of course your mind will still producing thoughts but dont get attach to it just watch it disappear. Thats why the meditation is good.

are peanuts and almond good for you, i eat them alot because its the only thing whit high protein in vegan diet. (im building muscle)

Understand that personal development is not about the destination but about doing your best every day and being as happy as you can. Just do babysteps, dont try to fix everything at once frist implement good habits.

How are insights being integrated, do i simply just try to be aware of it on day to day basis and remind my self until it sticks or you do it differently.

Is mindfulness just being in the moment like when im having a lot of taughts but im conscious of them is that mindfulness even doe im "in them" and judging them and not just observing them. Because i find my self being in the moment almost the whole day and aware of every taught but i usually get caught in them and start negative thinking and its hard for me to stop even knowing im doing it, its like i must think.

@Dodo im insterested in everything that helps me, so yes

@dodo i red it like 10 times cant understand could you explain it better

@Dodo Oh i understand, just be the moment but nothing in the moment.

@Dodo so mindfulness is not thinking and beeing in the moment while thinking? and that isnt rising my coincioussnes. So i must not attach? And if im judging my self and beeing negative should i be mindfull or stop the thinking?

when im around people i lose my self in them, i cant have my self. Its like i just focus on the people and do whats "normal" i dont have sense of self. What actions can i do to get my self worth and self assertiveness higher. Im doing affirmations, no fap, cold showers and solo walking. what else can i do to improve it.

@Sevii dont know, im just really scared to show the real me, im allways fake to the point that i dont know how real me would react. I dont trust my judgments of me so if i get judged i will take that as me and not my oppinons. I whant to be completly detached from other people and just believe my taughts. I mean i wont be egoic and dont consider what others are saying. All i want is to be completly grounded in my self. And i need some actions to accomplishe it.