Forestluv

It would blast through that as well. I’d be careful if you decide to try it. It is merciless to those who won’t surrender. . .

@Amadeusz For me, I stopped caring about all the titles, accolades and recognition. My concept of success is very different than it was 20 yrs ago.

@MisterMan Nice story, but you aint gonna figure IT out. . .

The damn thing just keeps on ISing. . .

Conquering the ego is the ultimate ego trip.

You will end up costing your parents a lot more money if you don’t find a job before moving out.

I’ve known vegans with unhealthy diets. Lots of junk food is vegan.

@MarkusSweden The terms sex and gender are distinct to the vast majority of biologists.

@Faceless 30mg of 5-meo-dmt would dissolve your conceptual reality.

@Marios Tsagoulis It’s conditioning. Programming. The story we tell ourselves. And you just offered a new story about the old story, just like I am doing now.

@Neo There are countless terms. "Spiritual Maturity" is also part of The Game. Just like "Mature Love", "Career Maturity", "Emotional Maturity", "Spiritual Maturity" and on and on. . . It's all part of a conceptual reality with meaning, definitions and rules. "At this point, it seems pretty clear to me that unless the grand experiences of psychedelics are applied into life in a way that unlocks one’s ability to perceive the beauty and fullness of the ordinary, day-to-day moments (outside of the trip), their benefit as a tool for spiritual maturity is being wasted." That is a story the author tells himself and others. It is one perspective of an infinite number of perspectives. It is part of "The Game". His terms "grand", "beauty", "fullness", "ordinary". "benefit" and "wasted". A moonlit walk along the beach is not beautiful, serene, peaceful, etc. It just IS. Just like a duck taking a crap just IS. Just like a blogger writing about "Spiritual Maturity" just IS. Interpretations of value are added and there are an infinite number of interpretations. And what I wrote just IS another story.

Below is an analogy that settled my mind on this life dream thing. Imagine Sarah is asleep dreaming. Lets call her dream character she identifies with as Nancy. Nancy is in New York City and there are lots of other characters - the taxi driver, her friend from college, people in a cafe etc. Nancy's subjective experience is that she is a separate self from all the other characters. Yet, everything in the dream including the landscapes and all characters are all one within a higher consciousness (Sarah's mind). However, Nancy is locked into her character and is unaware a higher consciousness exists. Even if Nancy starts searching in New York for awakening and enlightenment - it won't come - because she is still the Nancy character. Nancy will not be able to "figure it out" as Nancy. The awakening comes with the awareness of Nancy's character. The higher consciousness (Sarah's mind) could become aware that she is dreaming and it's all just one dream. Then the identification with the Nancy self dissolves. Similarly, there is a type of "higher" or "other" form of consciousness that cannot be awakened to as my life character that I identify with. I spent over 20 yrs practicing meditation, going to retreats, reading personal development and spiritual books - and I did it all as my dream life character, as "Nancy". Just like Nancy can't figure out how to awaken, neither can my dream life character. It comes from the higher one consciousness (e.g. the higher Sarah consciousness) that becomes aware of itself. This higher "Sarah" consciousness is beyond my understanding. It's really hard to for my self character to acknowledge. It can also be frightening. Consider it from Nancy's perspective. Imagine Nancy catches a few glimpses that there is a higher consciousness and she is a character within a dream. That her character is an illusion. It could cause anxiety, panic and terror in Nancy. She would likely struggle to protect her story and identity. For me, higher doses of psychedelics end the story and self identity of the dream character. I learned more in four hours of my first trip than 20 yrs of meditation and spiritual readings. Imagine the dream character Nancy dissolves and what remains is the higher consciousness. That moment would have more impact than all the activities Nancy did her entire life as the Nancy dream character. Other people have awakenings others ways. Yet for me, psychedelics was the ONLY tool that exposed and dissolved the Nancy dream character. As a novice, the experiences were terrifying and insane. On two occasions, I had desire to kill myself as that would be the only way to regain control and make it stop. Yet over time the self identity attachment has lessened and things just are. Just one big constantly IS. "Sarah" is just "IS" and my self identity is a character within that one giant "IS".

For me, your blog post about the giant chameleon is a more effective analogy.

Doing bursts of psychedelics caused me distress. I've done better using psychedelics as a consistent habit every two weeks. For me, psychedelics are not like cleaning myself out. It is like dissolving the story that defines my self. There are an infinite number of ways to look at psychedelics. "Best" is a relative term.

It makes no difference. The post is the same. Just remove "self". How can an experience be "fake" in it's effect? The concepts of "authentic spiritual growth" and "meditative progress" is part of the dream within The Game. Just like concepts of income growth and career progress. It is seeking something within a dream reality. Going to a meditation retreat is going to a meditation retreat. Just like going bowling is going bowling. All the meanings and comparisons are within The Game of a dream reality. Your dream is determined by your terms "authentic", "fake", "bogus", "damaging", "easy" and "improperly". It's all a story you tell yourself and that you are attached to. I've been strongly attached to stories and know how strong they are. Psychedelics destroys stories. Psychedelics can give a person a very different perspective of The Game. It is like living your whole life in a city and one day going to a mountain top and looking down on the city. Psychedelics are the most powerful perspective tool to me. I learned more during my first trip than in 20 years of meditation. And everything I've written is part of my conceptual dream. We are both right and both wrong.

Imagine a schizophrenic who was made sane with medication. Who is the "authentic self"? Crowded rock concerts are a stimulus that alter my brain chemistry causing panic and paranoia. Is this my "authentic self"? Ingesting molecules within fruits and vegetables affects my brain chemistry and generally promotes a sense of wellbeing. Is this my "authentic self"? Ingesting molecules within deep fried foods can alter the microbiota composition in my gut. This alters gene expression in the brain which affects my emotions. Is this my "authentic self"? A traumatic event causes epigenetic changes leading to long-term alterations of gene expression throughout the genome and is associated with elevated levels of cortisol and chronic stress. Is this the "authentic self"?. . . Ahhh, yet the combination of psychological and medicated therapy (including psilocybin) has been shown to reverse those effects - Is this now the "authentic authentic self"? What is natural? How would you define it? We are continuous with our environment. We are not separate.

Last night I tried plugging for the first time. Previously, I had snorted 20-30mg on about 6 occasions and became accustomed to the trip process. Yet, I always had nasal drip - in spite of my attempts to improve technique. I grew tired of tilted my head upside down for 10min, massaging my nostrils and feeling burning sensations. My effective dose range was probably more like 10-20mg. Other than the discomfort, the experiences were insightful, sublime, wonderful. I found the plugging ROA to be far superior. I crushed the 5-meo-dmt into a fine powder to help increase absorption. I put about 1ml distilled H20 and about 0.5ml Astroglide gel into a small cup (I added the gel to prevent the powder from sticking to the sides of the syringe). I added the 5-meo-dmt and stirred. It mixed well and there was a uniform orange tinge. I sucked it up with a needless syringe and injected about 1.5 inches deep into rectum. There was some minor discomfort after injection. Some due to the mechanical stress of the syringe. There was minor burning and a slight urge to expelled the liquid. I would say the discomfort with plugging was about 80% less than snorting. Trip intensity was about 30% stronger than snorting. The comeup was faster (5min. vs. 10min) and the trip duration was about the same (15min. peak, 25min comedown). Some aspects of the trip, I just don't have words for. Any explanation I try to give is just a partial description coming from my conceptual thought mind. At about 4min., I realized this was going to be more intense than my previous snorting trips. For a couple minutes, there was some anxiety about "what could happen", the unknown, and that maybe I did too much. Much of "me" dissolved and there was a unique type of mindfuck I haven't had with other psychedelics. There was a thought to "surrender" - yet who is surrendering? Who makes the choice to surrender? Does "I" have that power to choose or is that an illusion? I realized the trip would only last about 20min. and it's as if something gave "permission" to just be. Perhaps around T=6min. my story dissolved and I lost association with my body. There was just this energy. I was listening to native american flute music which synergized with the energy. I felt the energy of my girlfriend. We've had problems and are sort-of broken up and trying to work things out. Yet, all that "noise" disappeared. The whole story. Sometimes, we would lie in bed and just listen to music. And now there was just mixtures of energies - me, her, the music, the darkness and something beyond. It was like separate energies mixing, yet one energy. Both at the same time. I had a desire to reach out to her and bring her in. I texted her that I love how we experience music together. She responded by sending a song that had "it" - feeling and depth - and the energy changed and flowed. There was a sense she was here within the energy. Yet at the same time, there was no "her" or "me" - rather energies that our flowing through. It wasn't like I dissolved into the totality of absolute infinity. There was a some-thing - yet that some-thing became no-thing and every-thing. I just can't explain it. At about T=35min. she started texting about her day. I had mostly comedown, yet was still in another mindspace. At T=60min. there was a sense that she was not responding how I would like her to - and I knew I had fully returned to baseline. One thing that stands out for me with 5-meo-dmt is the clear awareness. With high doses of other psychedelics there can be confusion, thought loops and grey-outs. Yet not with 5-meo-dmt. It's place of awareness is so clear and pure. Looking back on it, it was a place of awareness I would associate with mostly pleasant. I can also see a place of clear/pure awareness that one would associate with being unpleasant.

Ahhh, the mind loves to live in a conceptual reality. I know that space well.

For anyone who wants to test this flying idea, I would recommend trying to fly off the ground rather than off a roof,

@MisterMan My impression is that depersonalization is generally used as a protective mechanism during and after traumatic events

Once you lose control to it, things get even more interesting

IME 5-meo-dmt is very different than other psychedelics. It feels more like a strong opioid than psychedelic

@Leo Gura I’ve tried snorting lightly, tilting my head upside down for 10 min. and massaging nostrils, yet still get a bitter/acid nasal drip. I wonder if I can place the powder into my nostrils without snorting. Or, perhaps. Or maybe plugging would work

I resonate more with the second group. I find myself being pulled toward this process. I've entered nonduality - usually with psychedelics and a few glimpses without. One question on your phrase "they know that it is the only way out". I've had awareness/realization that what my self wants will not materialize or be fulfilled. All the hopes, desires, intentions, planning, goal setting and actions will never "arrive". Yet, my mind-body often behaves otherwise. My mind engages in thinking like "As soon as xyz, then. . . ", If she would just xyz, then. . . ". "If I had just said xyz, then she wouldn't be upset with me". As well, when I sense distance with my girlfriend, my body produces neurotransmitters and hormones. I yearn to hold her. I feel anxiety that I may not hold her and feel the intimacy again, there is fear she may leave. My blood becomes more acidic, I feel pain in my gut. I interpret her actions and inactions as signs she is losing interest in me. I desire reassurance to settle the insecurity. I feel motivated to please her. People advise me to "set boundaries", "to develop better communication", "to take care of myself", "to articulate what I need in the relationship". This can be tempting as "The Way Out" of uncomfortable feelings and suffering. Yet, sometimes I'm aware The Story is the issue and that my self is trying to get something, somewhere that doesn't exist. That the loss of The Story is "The Way Out", Yet, in spite of this The Story and associated feelings continue - even when I am aware it's just The Story. What is the next stage? To just be aware of The Story and all it's thoughts and feelings? Or to focus on the illusionary nature of the self and Story to reduce the strength of The Story?

In several clinical studies, psychedelics have been shown effective therapy for addictions for some people. As well, psychedelics have very low dependency/addiction potential. I've been able to use them for both introspection and fun without negative consequence. Yet, weed and alcohol are highly habit forming to me and I need to stay away.