Forestluv

@Thanatos13 I spent 25 years trying to figure it out. Meditation, retreats, dharma talks, the sangha, hundreds of books, thousands of hours on personal development and with self help groups, traveling to 20 foreign countries. And on and on. . . I know what a spinning mind is like. And my mind was expanded more in one four hour period than those 25 yrs. combined. All this intellectual sparing is great. Yet it aint IT. You won’t find IT through your intellect. Why not try and eliminate your self and see what arises?

@Thanatos13 You won’t figure it out. Perhaps try taking 200ug of lsd, 30mg of 5-meo-dmt or go into 10 days of solitary in darkness. Yet, ease your way in. It can be absolutely brutal to the self. The self won’t let go without a fight and you are immersed in self.

@Thanatos13 It’s not something that is learned or understood. It just “IS”. It is repulsive to the self. It’s no-thing and every-thing. Every idea and thought you have just “IS” and has no more relevance than any other thought. The self and all it’s thoughts is all WITHIN it. For my self, moments of awakening came with self dissolution. Everything I thought and believed was stripped away. Early on, the loss of mental control was so terrifying my self wanted to commit suicide since that was the only way to regain control. If one is immersed in debating and “figuring it out”, they haven’t even encountered the rabbit hole yet. As the self dissolves, there are not the same highs and lows. The character still goes on, but there isn’t the attachment to the story or the chase for completion. The self gains nothing, it gets jack squat. The self gets exposed and loses all. There is no way to sugar coat it: the process involves brutal and terrifying moments to the self. Yet, its also beautiful and liberating. With that said, there are some beautiful duality teachings. And a reminder to all: dual vs nondual wars are against the TOA - so keep it civil.

I've heard some people refer to it as a "shadow side" that everyone has.

There is enlightenment. “You” don’t become enlightened any more than your breakfast becomes enlightened. It’s all WITHIN enlightenment.. “You” don’t become or gain anything. It’s all loss. Conscious preceeds the self. Imagine a beam of light that illuminates the surroundings - trees, rocks, houses, a road. Now you jump in front of the light dancing around saying “look at me! Look at me!”. . . You are within the light just like everything else. Thoughts of you just IS. Jyst like everything else IS. Thoughts of self seem really REALLY important, yet in terms of consciousness have no more relevance than a fart. It sucks big time for the self, yet oh so liberating.

You seem unsatisfied with what is surfacing in life and consumed with creating a reality you find appealing. This is an unending cycle of suffering fir the self. To become liberated, I would first contemplate. . . you are not the chooser. You have no choice.

@VictorB02 You could tell him you are not willing to meet him in person, yet he can write an email to make amends. Maintain strong boundaries.

Would you like to create a *better* self or become aware of the illusionary nature of self?

That’s like asking: “What is the best version of sex”? It’s totally relative. We are socially conditioned for what is “best”. E.g. honest, genuine, hard-working, loving, generous, adventurous etc. IMO, this causes a lot of suffering for the self. Social conditioning portrays images of “good” into our mind. An image of best that is unattainable, because it doesn’t exist. We suffer as we continually fall short of that best image. “I’m just not good enough. I know I’m not perfect. . . “ Maslow was such a lightweight. He was a staunch supporter of free will for goodness sake.

But that seems so darn impersonal ?

Language is inherently dualistic. Any word we say is not another word. The term nondual also infers. . . not a ham sandwich. Yet human minds love to focus on opposites. Wolinsky is just saying the same thing all nondual speakers say - it can’t be explained or understood with words. Yet, the term nondual can serve as a pointer in direction.

Currently, Lisa Cairns is resonating most with me - by far. She does not get intellectual and does not engage in The Story. Thus, she tends to get awful reviews. But she gets it, imo and has helped raise my awareness level.

“You” don’t get enlightened. You don’t gain anything. It’s a total loss. Yet, the self doesn’t want to let go and seeks, seeks, seeks. We are always zero steps from enlightenment. We aren’t conscoious of it because we are so immersed in The Story of ourselves. We don’t want enlightenment, we want the idea of enlightenment. We want the journey, the seeking, the chasing, the thinking and the talking about it. If enlightenment was offered to us on a silver platter, we would reject it. It’s not something we choose or find - it just haapens. The more one can step out of The Story, the more space and higher chance it awareness becomes aware if itself.

There is no-thing to get. The character won’t accept that.

My character’s story involves over 25 yrs of seeking. Like living with tribes in South America kind of seeking. There was gradual awareness of the seeker and that the seeker is within “it”. None of the experiences, teachings, understandings were it, it’s all within it. It’s not something that one gains. It is total loss. It is extremely unpalatable to the self. My tendency was to contract into thoughts. As my character’s grip loosened it allowed space. Paradoxically, the thing we seek is the one thing we cannot escape from.

Learning to interact with others may be a lifetime thing for me. one thing I need to be careful of is the notion that I am “more evolved” or at a “higher” consciousness level than others

@mohdanas Intention is part of the mind-body mechanism. For me, observing a dog or nature is a better teacher than a guru. My only teaching is. . . IS

@Black Flag imo the mindset doesn’t seem aligned with a strong trip. 100ug in the woods is delightful and insightful. I would not go in water while tripping.

@Shugo Go further down the rabbit hole. It can’t be explained in language.

@Krishna Siva The character will appear and disappear. Just be aware. Trying to control the character is part of the mind-body mechanism. The character is WITHIN who you truley are.

“ You ain’t get there permanent (in a consistent non-dual state) sitting behind your computer.” ”You” doesn’t *get* anything. It is a total loss. ”You” are always zero steps from enlightenment, since it’s always present here and now. At your computer and in a monestary. Trying to create an environment for actualization is part of the mind-body seeking mechanism.

@jwkspeck It’s a total loss for the ego.

@Patang My character appears and disappears. I went through a stage of “the character doesn’t exist”! Yet, it comes and goes. I feel love, joy, frustration etc. Yet there isn’t the same level of interpretation and attachment. I can recognize my conditioning and let go, yet my character has fundamental traits. I’m just not going to suddenly become a Bollywood dancer. . .

I don’t use the term “prove” since I don’t have 100% certainty of anything. Of course, yesterday does not exist in the present moment. The papers are evidence that the exam took place in a previous moment. I’m into nonduality, yet humans have evolved the perception of a timeline. Acknowledging that timeline is part of The Game I’m willing to play. My character is not attracted to living solo in the woods.

Absolutely. The perspective I wrote has no more relevance than the OP’s perspective or that of a duck taking a dump. I could make up a dozen more stories, but I’m gonna watch a basketball game now.