Forestluv

Your mind is conflating different levels of consciousness and is still making distinctions. You haven’t gone all the way.

No, you are not. The only preparation is to fully surrender and get owned by something you cannot conceive of. Go in humble and surrender. If you try to maintain any control through it, it can be mental torture. Psychedelic insanity zones can be extremely intense. You have no idea what you would be entering. Once started, you cannot leave or make it stop. Time can lose all meaning, so one minute is no different than a year. Be careful what you ask for.

I think you describe some great conditions from a cognitive level. Especially regarding intellectual exploration, awareness and planning. Ime, direct experience was much more powerful to evolve up the spiral. For example, as a solid Orange with a desire to evolve to Green, I read a lot about disadvantaged people, marginalization, racism, gender equality, toxic masculinity, spirituality etc. I felt like I had a good cognitive understanding and at times assumed "this is it". I'm Green now. Yet something deeper was missing - I had not reached a deeper level of understanding and embodiment through direct experience. To explore these deeper aspects of direct experience of Green, I immersed myself into Green actuality. I lived in poverty in a village in Honduras. I learned Spanish to deepen my human connection with locals. I volunteered in a psychiatric ward and spent many hours talking with and connecting with mentally ill patients and victims of domestic violence. I did volunteer work helping low bottom alcoholics and drug addicts. I fell in love within an inter-racial relationship and directly experienced racism toward myself and a woman I deeply loved. The intellectual learning was helpful to set the stage, yet direct experience immersion absolutely blew away intellectual theory. It's not even close. I'd say the direct experience was 1,000X more powerful than theory during my Green evolution.

@phoenix666 Beautiful. It brings me back to my first Aya ceremony in Peru. @Lola Marsden Beautiful image. It expresses an essence of an Aya ceremony.

@lostmedstudent I concur with what outlandish wrote. I'd like to add a few points. A trip sitter adds another variable to the setting. If you go with a sitter, I would recommend one with psychedelic experience. During your trip, an experienced sitter can provide calm, grounding energy and guidance. They have direct experience with the psychedelic mindset and in a sense get on the same frequency. In contrast, I would not get an inexperienced sitter to prevent me from harming myself or others, or doing something stupid. Generally on low/moderate doses, the person can talk and settle themselves down. You haven't fully lost sense of reality and there is a sense of self control. A mind can still distinguish between "real" and "fantasy". On high doses, the self is dissolved after ego death and there is generally no fear or anxiety. There is no one left to be fearful for. Post-ego, the mind-body doesn't have much motivation to cause harm. . . Harm anxiety generally arises in the sub-ego death zone, when the ego is losing control of reality and struggles to maintain control. The ego may generate harm anxiety imagery as resistance. I've experience this many times, particularly as a novice, including exactly what you wrote: "I can't give up control!! I could run outside screaming!!! I could use knives on myself!!!". The ability to distinguish "real" from "not real" is lost. It is only during part of the trip and can be very uncomfortable. Yet, they have provided me with profound insights about my subconscious egoic structure. As well, I've found harm anxiety to be a protective mechanism. Early on, there was fear that some dark creature within me might arise if I surrendered control. Yet, I've found that creature was a protective fantasy of my ego. What lies beneath the ego is a deeper intelligence, love, connection and creativity that isn't interested in harming myself or anyone else. I would recommend doing 1.5g solo in a meditative familiar setting with various options. If things drift into a dark area, changing activity or simply going to another room can completely change the energy. At 1.5g, you would likely have the option of letting go and allowing the ego to more fully dissolve into groundlessness, or regaining control toward being more grounded. On the flip side of harm anxiety, there is blissful surrender. I've entered the sub ego death zone to see the most beautiful bliss beyond imagination and look back to see an egoic world tension, confusion and crap. The first time, my mind thought to the psychedelic "teacher" : "What a second. Are you telling me, if I surrender I give up all the suffering and crap of the egoic state and get to enter bliss beyond imagination? Heck yea!! Let's go!!!".

I've spent many hours observing biological cells through a microscope and I have barely scratched the surface. I continually return with new curiosities, questions and ideas. I can look at dividing neuroblasts over and over and observe new things each time. My awareness and understanding expands each time. I never know what the microscope will reveal to me. Many times, new pieces of the puzzle are revealed and I return to learn more about how to integrate observations and connect dots. A suggestion that a cellular biologist looks through a microscope a few times and then moves on without return is inaccurate. When I gaze through the microscope, I observe intensely - sometimes hours straight. It takes experience, wisdom and intuition to know when the message has been revealed to you. At that point, only a fool would sit with their eye permanently glued to the microscope. The wise biologist goes away and works on what he has observed. What is this "work"? The work is contextualizing the observations and integrating the new observations with previous observations to form a more holistic model. As well, the data may open new avenues of research or suggest a change of direction. Then, the biologist returns to the microscope to perform the cycle again. Over and over and over. Hundreds or thousands of times. Over time, there is more expansion and more clarity toward a deeper and more holistic understanding. My experience with psychedelics is similar. When an insight is revealed during a trip, I don't stay permanently tripping on that insight. I go away and get to work. What is this work? The work is contextualizing the observations and integrating the new observations with previous observations to form a more holistic perspective. This contextualization and integration process involves hours of meditation, contemplation, yoga etc. As well, the trip may open new avenues of exploration or suggest a change in direction. Then, the explorer returns to trip to perform the cycle again. Over and over. Experimenting with different psychedelics, doses and settings. Each time, there is a bit more expansion and a bit more clarity toward a deeper and more holistic understanding. I often see a misconception on the forum that psychedelics are a stand-alone tool for a spiritual seeker. That is like saying a carpenter only uses a screwdriver. It's complete nonsense. Just as a carpenter uses a variety of tools to master his craft, psychedelics are ONE tool that is combined with several other tools such as meditation, yoga, self inquiry, listening to nonduality speakers, reading spiritual literature etc. Together, this can lead to mastery.

I did. In the mind of the being in which the passive aggressive dynamic takes place. If you are being coy with the term “who”, it would be the mind-body referred as “how to be wise” in this case. Yet that phrasing is awkward, so for conveneince we generally just say “you”.

@Zigzag Idiot Beautiful ?

@Big Guru Balls Yes, indeed. I have a cabinet full various mindfucks I never fully worked through or explored.

That’s what it’s all about. Curiosity, willingness and open-mindedness is a powerful combination. And it’s lethal to the ego. Some of my deepest insights have come from mind fucks. You discover things like the fine line between genuis and insanity. Yet mind fucks can be really really hard to integrate. And they can be intense. I need long breaks after them.

@Joseph Maynor After reading about your laying in bed meditation, I’ve tried it. I can get into some deeply relaxed meditative states somewhat similiar to sensory deprivation tanks.

?? ?

I observe whether the underlying motivation is need-based or is transcendent of personal needs.

I would second long solo walks in nature as a form of practice.

Assuming one's tolerance is reset, I would not recommend a 300ug setting that involves walking, stairs or water. I've inadvertently come close to seriously injuring myself on staircases while on a very high dose. I would plan to mostly sit or lay down and/or have a sitter to assist.

@Lynnel Nice work. Looks like you are getting the hang of using psychedelics as a spiritual tool at various doses. I encounter rough waters in the sub ego death zone. Below or above that is relatively smooth sailing.

It sounds like you want a tool that will satisfy your ego's desire to be shown that itself is an illusion. Yet, there is no proof that your ego will find satisfactory. As well, it sounds like you want a quick tool to reach a goal (to be shown the self is an illusion). The journey is the goal. What is happening right now is the finish line. Look around you. What IS is all around you. You cannot find it any other place. It is always here. You will not find it within the timeline. It is always now. Sincerity, humbleness, willingness, openness and surrender with no expectation, goal or agenda is much more important than the tool used.

The mind in which the dynamic arises.

@Shadowraix I've noticed minds tend to recontextualize their post-egoic mystical psychedelic experience very differently, depending on their baseline level of consciousness. To a Blue level mind, the experience may verify the existence of their anthropomorphic god, e.g. visions of Jesus and everything in the bible is literally true. To a hardcore Orange level mind, the experience may be contextualized as an irrational woo-woo induced mental state. In general, my sense is that psychedelics are not an effective tool until one's baseline development has reached upper-orange or green. I think the OP has reached this level of maturity.

@How to be wise Each teacher has their own style and approach. Passive aggression toward a teacher or an approach tends to contract the mind. Leo and Bryon both have value, yet they may resonate differently with different mind-bodies.

Indeed. There are many different paths. I am only an expert with one path (my own).

@Freakrik If You are within Everything, would that not include all suffering and joy?

I would be careful of defining "presence" as the cessation of thoughts, ideas and stories. By doing so, your mind is setting up an "either - or" dynamic: that there is presence or non-presence. Yet, presence is always present. There is no escape from presence. It sounds like you have experienced a form of emptiness in which the stories, thoughts, beliefs etc. dissolve. Is there awareness in this mind state? Or is more like "zoning out"? As well, it sounds like your mind is new to this experience and is contextualizing it by setting up a scenario in which a "present mind state" means no suffering and a "not present" mind state means suffering. It sounds like there is seeking energy to use this feature of "presence" to selectively eliminate suffering during "non-presence". This can cause egoic desires toward some type of goal. For example: "I want to combine presence with non-presence to end my suffering". Presence is not a place separate from non-presence. Presence is nothing and everything. It is unconditional. Presence when you are meditating. .. . presence during sadness, frustration, watching a movie, eating, thinking, arguing, having sex, taking a math exam and on and on. Yet, it's more likely it will reveal itself when the mind is quiet. It sounds like you have gotten a look of presence from a unique and fresh perspective. I would ask that attachments and identifications be revealed (not eliminated). Observe attachments and identification to thoughts and ideas as they arise through the day. Perhaps awareness will arise that those attachment and identification dynamics arise within presence. This process can be very unsettling to a mind-body that wants to be grounded. Surrendering control can be scary as well as liberating. If it is overwhelming to the mind-body, you may want to try and pull back for a bit to reduce the intensity and integrate lessons for a bit. I would do activities that relax the mind-body, such as yoga, walks in nature, watching nonduality videos etc.

@bazera Perhaps consider shamanic breathing. It's easy to do at home and many people,including myself, have reported altered states of consciousness within a few attempts. If you are interested in learning more, Leo did a video on shamanic breathing and there is a "mega-thread" on the forum.

That idea is contracted within subject-object dualism and does not integrate nonduality.