Forestluv

@Aakash When I reach a deeper level it is unstable at first. An energy appears that wants to create stable grounding. I try to be aware of that dynamic. The deeper I go, the more “paranormal” it seems and the desire for control gets more subtle. This is just a dynamic in my mind-body. If it doesn't resonate with you, ditch it and move on.

Be mindful of a psychological dynamic in which there is a “good ego” and “bad ego”.

Once in a while you get shown the light, in the strangest of places if you look at it right.

My mind-body likes to think freedom and peace is the absence of emotions like fear and sadness. So, my mind-body tries to avoid them, push them away and get rid of them. There seems to be a deeper sense of freedom and peace. . . When fear comes knocking at the door, allow it enter, allow it to be present and allow it to leave.

@DocHoliday ♥️ ?

Whoa, lots of assumptions in the original post. Perhaps we can all consider an issue that has no assumptions. We all agree that it is essential to address the pressing issue of Third Leg Syndrome (TLS). It’s clear that TLS has a negative impact on our world. The economic impact is obvious and goes without saying. Yet, it’s also important to consider the emotional toll TLS has on communities and it’s impact on biodiversity. Even insects are impacted by TLS. One may think they don’t have TLS, but how can one be sure? The answer to this widespread terrible problem is both complex and elusive. There is a reason TLS has baffled humans for thousands of years. We now know that TLS is caused by an amorphous supernatural entity. Even scientists agree on this. Obviously, this entity has an intention. Yet, how can we communicate with the entity? What is it trying to tell us? Since we live in a computer simulated reality, how can the program communicate with the programmer? This problem becomes more baffling the more I think about it . . . ?

Good point. From a personal development and human perspective, reprogramming would have practical uses. For example, there is a disorder in which a person has an intense fear of making left hand turns while driving. This can turn a 10 minute drive to the grocery store into hours. It can create a lot of angst and difficulties in a person’s life, including their family. If there was a way to flip a switch in their brain to remove this fear, I think most would say go for it. From a nondual perspective, there is no difference.

@RobertZ There seems to be a lot of intellectualizing in the original post. My hunch is that you feel safer in your head than in your heart. It can bea long journey from one's head to their heart. For me, direct experience was the key to open heart channels of empathy ♥️ ?

@DocHoliday For me, it is a marker between relief and true peace, Resistance seeks relief, true peace just is. Fear and insecurity dynamics are really interesting to observe in my mind-body, yet it can be uncomfortable. One thing I’ve learned is that much of my mind-body is oriented toward avoiding fear and insecurity. It’s deeply ingrained and hard to reprogram.

When conflict arises, my mind wants to frame it as an external problem. That is, the conflict is due to external reasons and if that stuff gets worked out, problem solved. I’ve found it helpful to look inward and observe the internal conflict dynamic within my mind-body.

The absence of resistance does not mean the presence of embracement. It just is without resistance or embracement. There is noone to resist or embrace. There is simply appearances.

Even in my worst bouts with terror, when the resistance dissolved there was a dramatic energetic shift. I’m not sure I would still call it fear. With surrender, resistance dissolves and it just is.

What is 99% of zero?

Without resistance to fear, does fear exist?

The personality seeks, the personality does not become enlightened.

If your audience is Orange and confined to logic, then yes. Once someone reaches Green and higher, all sorts of communication modes start opening up.

I used to think laying meditation was a half-ass form. I even looked down on using chairs. I was a true half-lotus kinda guy until I did sensory deprivation tanks and went places traditional seated meditation didn’t. I was fully alert and reached deep relaxation states I didn’t know existed. I do both seated and laying meditation these days.

@now is forever I have observed that dynamic in some users as well. I find it fascinating how many variations of experience psychedelics yield - among people and within a single mind. I did three Ayahuasca ceremonies at a retreat and each one was completely different for me. I sat in a similar spot during each ceremony, they each started at the same time and were all within one week. Yet, each was completely different. As well, I was amazed by the diversity of experiences of participants at the retreat. Other drugs seem to effect the mind-body in a roughly similar way - things like opiods, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, cannibis, amphetamines have fairly predictable and similar effects on the mind-body. If someone drinks six beers there will be a similar effect on the mind-body regardless of whether they are watching a football game or at a Bar-b-que. Of course the details of the experience will have variations, yet the effect of the alcohol is similar. Yet with psychedelics there can be completely different effects depending on so many different variables. Among different people and the individual themself. It's a major reason I think people should be cautious with psychedelics, especially newbies. I've been with first-time trippers many times and the range of experience is astonishing to me. . . . I was in an AirBnB in Medellin Colombia and people at the place were smoking weed and drinking moderately. One of the women just seemed to thrive in party atmospheres and going with the flow. Around midnight, they decided to go out clubbing. Someone pulled out a bunch of LSD tabs and about half the group took one. I noticed the woman nonchalantly took a few of them and swallowed them without hesitation. This got my attention and I asked her how often she does this. She replied "this is my first time taking a psychedelic". I thought she is totally screwed tonight and I'm not going to be part of the train wreck that will happen in a couple hours - so I stayed in. I see her the next day and she is totally fine. She looked fatigued from a late night out, yet there was not indication at all the LSD caused her any adverse effects. It was real LSD and she had a great time. She seemed unfazed the rest of the week. . . I've seen other first time users go through terrible struggles. My own experiences have ranged from indescribable love and connection to indescribable terror and suffering. I've noticed all the clinical psychedelic therapy studies tried to neutralize as many variables as possible. Participants went through psychotherapy, prepared for the psychedelic sessions, the sessions took place in highly controlled settings and psychotherapy sessions continued after treatment for integration. I think this is one reason the studies were so successful. I think if they got loosey-goosey with preparation and setting, the results could have been different. Imo, psychedelics don't become an efficient spiritual tool until someone has reached a Green level of awareness and maturity.

@Shakazulu I wouldn't say the insights are more profound. I would say there is an expansion of the profoundness. This is an analogy appearing in my mind space now. Imagine a diamond that has many facets. For one's whole life, they were unaware of the diamond. The first look at the diamond is of just one facet. So one becomes aware of that one facet, yet still unaware of the whole diamond. Yet that first good at just the facet is extremely profound. It's the first time you've ever seen it. It could change the way one looks at life. It could open a door to something previously unimaginable. So now imagine re-visiting that same facet over and over. It may start to become obvious and ordinary. One may think "why can't most people see this facet? It's so obvious". The mind may assume that "this is it" and "I have awakened". After time, another facet may be revealed and it is ground shaking. "Omg!! There is another facet!!". You had assumed this was it, and now this whole new facet revealed itself. It is unique from the first facet. You see how the two facets are inter-connected. It is deeply profound and can again change the way one looks at life. Now imagine this cycle continuing with a third, fourth and fifth facet, leading to a more holistic view. Is the revelation of any one facet more profound than the other? I'd say they are each special, yet I don't think I would rank them in terms of how profound they are. As well, I would say that as more facets are revealed there is a spiritual maturity that develops and a more holistic experience and understanding arises. Ime, yoga and meditation are essential to integrate psychedelic lessons. When I first started using psychedelics, I skimped on the yoga / meditation and just tried to hit home runs with psychedelics. I had practiced meditation for over 20 years and thought I was good in this area and it wasn't so important anymore. This eventually caught up with me. Things got unstable and unsustainable and I had to slow down. Ime, integrating psychedelics doesn't necessarily make the insights more profound, yet it is really important for observing contextualization patterns, seeing bigger pictures and developing spiritual maturity.

It's been 15 months since my last journal post. It's so interesting to read the "old" journal posts. There is a sense of looking back in the timeline of where I was during those contemplations of my direct experience. Yet, there is also a sense of "ISness" that is eternally present. Today I came to this journal with a desire to express some thoughts about the mind's tendency to get attached and identified with thoughts and ideas. It seems like a continuous process of attachment/identification, recognition/labeling, letting go and being. The deeper one goes, the more subtle and nuanced the attachment/identification becomes. It's like there is a "stretch zone" of self awareness. It seems like the zone keeps expanding, yet there always seems to be an egoic stretch zone. This has appeared in many different ways, for example subtle forms of arrogance. Currently, I notice subtle attachments to spiritual ideas and experiences. Some of it seems super duper true and it seems clear "this is how it is". It's as if the mind sets up boundaries of what an ego is and likes to think I am aware outside of this ego. Yet over and over, it's revealed that thoughts and images that arise from the zone outside of the ego is also ego. When it goes really deep, it appears that any word is ego. It's kind of crazy. I'm realizing that dynamics of the personality can be really alluring and once immersed into it, it's difficult to observe it. I think this is why intellectualizing with one's own ego and other egos about "how it is" is a contracted space. Yet, part of the trap is thinking it's the other personality. If he or she can see my point of view and agree, then all is well. Yet, this would only provide temporary relief. It is not true peace. It's much more difficult to let go of my own ideas. In particular, sometimes ideas arise that seem so spiritual and deep, yet upon closer observation, it's all simply appearances in what is now. As I discover more of this in myself, it becomes so obvious in others. When I point it out in others, the same defense mechanisms arise in their mind that arise in my mind. When my mind lets go of it all, it seems like there is only One mind.

I would be mindful of setting expectations prior to a trip. Consider shifting the energy toward an "intention", or just being open to whatever insights may arise. The problem I've found with having expectation energy is that it may desire to steer the trip toward that expectation. This can set up internal struggle as the ego dissolves. I would recommend starting out with a low to moderate dose. Low enough that you can talk yourself down if things get uncomfortable, yet high enough that you break through the surface level of mental activity. As well, if you want to use psychedelics for personal growth, I would suggest stay with low to moderate doses. Ime, high doses was the opposite of personal development. It eliminates the person. Ime, frequency is dependent on the intensity of the trip and how well integration goes. I've gone too frequent before and things can turn into a jumbled mess. I would say a significant trip once a month, with time devoted to integration, is sustainable. Keep in mind, the higher the dose, the more difficult it will be to integrate. I've found occasional mini doses can help integration because they bring me half way there, so to speak. For setting, I would recommend a peaceful setting you are familiar with. Your room is fine. Yet, I would try to avoid potential disturbances like people in the house asking you "What's it feel like?". I would also have several activities planned. Music is great. I would have a few other activities available as well. Sometimes things can get uncomfortable and something as simple as going into a different room or doing a different activity can shift the energy. So, have a variety of music available, perhaps some that is ethereal, electronic, some tribal, whatever. You could also have a video handy, a journal, ,meditation, some creative activity.

That is some nice engagement during trips. Are those on low/moderate doses? And would you say meditation helped to be aware within that mind space? Psychedelics can be an unwieldy tool and it sounds like you have learned to use the tool well.

I’m just sharing observations.

I’d say it has a double edge. Getting immersed into an enlightenment story can be a distraction and counter-productive.

@now is forever To me, your description of the german quote had an underlying suggestion. I spent many years working within alcohol and drug addiction. I find it to be a complex and nuanced area. I’d consider psychedelics to have relatively low addiction potential.