Forestluv

Yep. That’s what it boils down to.

I’m just saying be aware that you have an idea that there is some “thing” you refer to as “enlightenment”. You seem to be making an assumption that this thing exists and that you have partially acheived this thing. I think the concepts are fine for communication and grounding. The problem I encounter is confusing the map for the territory. The hand example relates an idea or perception of a hand to enlightenment, further suggesting there is an association with enlightenment as an idea or thing. To loosen that perspective, I would ask you if it is wrong to thadre to gakila if humlo is predlak? The mind will not like this question because it must surrender control of the narrative.

I’m just saying be aware of identifying with an idea of enlightenment. By self-describing yourself as not fully enlightened it means you are evaluating yourself relative to some idea you have of what enlightenment is. If I asked if you were hithalmed, you wouldn’t know how to answer because you have no idea of hithalmed.

In general, be aware of attachments and identification to an idea of what enlightenment is.

To piggyback off @outlandish , I’d like to say the psychedelics also amplify empathy and connection for me, like 100x. I may see a simple act of kindness and it’s like the most beautiful loving thing I could ever imagine. As well, ordinary things can become deeply sad or disturbing. Seeing someone with mild suffering can become heart-wrenching and induce suffering in myself. I try to be mindful of this when I trip plan and try to avoid dark music, videos etc.

This journal is a bowl full of awesome. Thank you for sharing it with us. I just watched your lastest video and it helped pause my habitual thinking and opened me up. I liked how you explained how many of us integrate just enough to get by and survive. My mind likes to think “integration” means integrating ideas, concepts and theories. I guess that’s part of it. Yet, I like how you talked about integrating different fragments of mind and body. Integrating different facets of beingness - like our waking life and sleeping life. And allowing ourselves to explore things we are truly interested in, rather than limiting ourselves to a role we think we are supposed to play. For me, I developed a strong character as a scientist and I played that role wherever I went. Over the last few years, I’m realizing I’m not that interested in science and I’ve had to give myself permission to explore other areas. There are so many fascinating things in life and I’m realizing how misaligned I’d been. For example, I’ve always avoided yoga because I told myself I’m too inflexible, I have poor balance and it feels awkward to me. Yet, I allowed myself to genuinely try it and I’ve fallen in love. I’ve now reached an intermediate level and a whole new world of mind, body and spirit integration has opened up. Your video was like a deep breath of fresh air ?

That made me smile ?

San Pedro. It’s smooth as silk. The insights are deep and easy to integrate and embody.

I lived without a mobile phone until 2014. I was one of the last holdouts. I only knew one other person without a phone. Yet, it became a major liability and I finally bought one. After I got my first phone, it only took a few months for it to consume a big part of my daily life. ?

@TheAvatarState For sure, that’s happened to me too. I’m referring more to the times I’m trapoed in my head analyzing things and I “miss” the humor around me. I didn’t even hear and process it. Yet, I’m too embarrassed to say “huh? What happened?”

One experience that comes to mind: I tried twenty two times over 10 years to qualify for the Boston Marathon and failed each time. I got real close several times, yet a late injury or bad race weather would squash the dream yet again. On my 23rd attempt, I ran the whole race with a pacer from Runners World Magazine. I just focused on running by his side. I was so close to him that his flag pole hit me a couple times during the race. Right before we make the last turn and hit the home stretch, he turns to me, smiles and says “You did it”. Then he motioned for me to run ahead of him. As I ran down the homestretch, I looked at the clock above the finish line and realized this was actually happening. I put my face in my hands and started trembling. Relief and joy was expressed through tears. The crowd realized what was happening and, to my surprise, gave a loud ovation.

Over seriousness is something I see pop up in my life regularly. A few signs: Someone casually mentions to me to “loose up” and I get worked up because I’m such an easy-going guy. Can’t they see that? ? I go a few days without being silly or playful. During a “conversation”, the person asks if we can take a break for a bit (after I’ve been over-analyzing for like an hour). Someone says to me “we don’t need to figure it out, I just wanted to share my experience with you”. Getting all serious about why I’m so serious. I’m with a group of people that spontaneously break out in laughter and I’m the only one who didn’t get it. . .

@LoveandPurposeI think it’s a great question to contemplate. It seems for many of us, ideas of what “success” is are portrayed upon us from parents, teachers, media and friends. It’s refreshing to pause and think “wait a minute. . . what does “success” mean for me?” . . . Personally, my idea of what personal success is has evolved over the years.

I appreciate how genuine your journal is and your experience and thoughts resonate with me. I was just thinking about when I was a child. I loved to climb trees. It was joyful and free. Then all this stuff about howI’m not good enough got put into me. In particular from my father. He was hyper-critical. Deep down he had good intentions and wanted me to be successful, yet he was hyper-critical nonetheless. When I was about 10 yrs old, I was trying to make a wooden race car for “The Pine Wood Derby” in Boy Scouts. I needed some help, yet my Dad was really critical and concerned about what others would think. He ended up making the toy car himself, with me watching. As I watched him make the car, I internalized that I wasn’t good enough. . . We won second place at the contest, yet I felt like I hadn’t won anything - it wasn’t my car. I felt undeserving accepting the award. I can remember many instances like this. They weren’t traumatic experiences, yet they piled up and had a big effect on my self image. A main theme during my upbringing was that I had gifts and potential, yet I wouldn’t apply myself and was squandering my gifts/potential. During parent-teacher meetings, my parents and teachers would even sigh at times. . . I had a deep sense that I was a disappointment and I had a fear of looking stupid and disappointing others. Into adulthood, this translated into people pleasing and seeking validation - especially from father figures. In graduate school, I had a bad case of “imposter syndrome”. I compared myself to advanced graduate students and post-docs. I felt like I was an imposter pretending to be a graduate student and any day now, someone would figure out that I was faking it and that I didn’t have what it takes - and they would kick me out of grad school. At times, this would get so intense it would block me from actually learning and performing. Even trivial things could become a big deal. In particular, I wanted validation from my advisor, Chris. One morning I was working in the lab with a post-doc (who was very skilled). My advisor walked in and said “Good morning Marc!”, then passed by me and said “Good morning” without even looking at me. Then the worry and anxiety kicked in. . . “He likes Marc more than me. He is proud of Marc and dissappointed in me. His voiced lowered when he said good morning to me. He is upset with me. I haven’t been generating enough data. I have to work harder”. . . Then, I wanted so badly for him to tell me I’m ok, yet I was terrified of seeking that approval because I might not get it. He might really be upset with me. . . After a couple hours it became unbearable and I needed relief. So in the most easy-going way I could muster up, I asked Marc “Remember when Chris came in this morning and said ‘Good morning‘ to us? Did it seem like he was more excited to see you and perhaps a bit upset with me?”. Marc looks a bit confused and replied “No. He just walked in and said Good Morning to us. It seems like you are being too self-conscious”. . . One would think this may have relieved my anxiety, but noooo. . . Then I go off into a mental space of how stupid I look right now. I wish I hadn’t said that. Now Marc thinks I’m insecure. What if Marc tells Chris? Omg, that would be awful. Should I ask Marc not to tell Chris? Or would that make me look more stupid and insecure? . . . This episode consumed my mental space the entire day and kept popping up the rest of the week. Just a few thoughts I wanted to share. Thank you for sharing your experience and thoughts with us. I can relate to many parts and find it helpful ?

@corndjorn That sounds like genuine reflection of one’s own direct experience. ?

Artists create music and paintings that bring forth the human experience. Sometimes I visit art galleries and stare at paintings. There is the expression of the artist, the expression of the art and the expression within me. It’s all inter-connected. Sometimes I’m so moved by art. Especially in real life when the artist his lresent with their work. I’ve met some amazing artists and musicians in my travels. Sometimes I’m overcome by the beauty I can barely contain myself. I’d like to develop my writing as a creative expression. I’ve been conditioned to be a technical science writer. It has some elegance to it, yet not the color that creative writing has. I appreciate all the artists on the forum. I should spend more time interacting with the right-brainers to develop that side of me.

There is something deeper going on than thoughts. Thoughts are at a surface level. It’s easy, of course, to think this. Much deeper to embody it. The identification with thoughts is so strong, sly and elusive. Just when it seems like you are just being, you realize thoughts got you again. Why go deeper than thoughts? For relief from unpleasant thoughts? No. So that you can re-program your thoughts? Closer. . . Thoughts are a second order appearance. There is an energetic system giving rise to thoughts. An energetic system that links experience, environment and brain, mind and body activity. There are neurotransmitters im my brain and in the environment. Every person I meet is a neurotransmitter that stimulates impulses in my brain. I think some of my students think I’m going mad. Yet there are groupies that take any class I teach. I’d rather have a few students that want to take my class as electives than lots of students that have yo take my class as a requirement.

@Shadowraix Not yet, it’s high on my list. Yet not easy for me to get my hands on. I’ve got some 5-meo-Mipt in my stash. I’m curious about it’s mdma-like empathy traits. Just waiting for the right time.

For those wanting to ease into the psychedelic realm. . . The gentliest psychedelic teachers ime: 1. San Pedro. So smooth and gentle. Not possessive like standard psychedelics. You can leave and come back as you like. Mother Pedro is always there for you. 2. Al-lad. Not easy to find, yet a gentlle ride with insights. 3. 4-Aco-met. A gentle headspace. If the insights aren’t flowing, close your eyes for some beautiful CEVs.

@bmcnicho If a self isn't developed, how can there be self transcendence? There would be nothing to transcend. Development doesn't end with an awakening. The person doesn't suddenly disappear. Personality traits are deeply conditioned into the mind-body. It's the relationship with the personality that shifts. Even people like Adyashanti and Rupert Spira still have mind-body personality patterns - they aren't going to wake up tomorrow as a Bollywood dancer. . .

In case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight.

This commercial aired during the 2013 Superbowl. This is this biggest viewing audience in the U.S. and commercials are extremely expensive. Companies go to great lengths to create innovative, alluring and humorous commercials. The commercial below s an inspirational message at the Orange level. It is filled with messages like "think for yourself", "be your own person", "knowledge is king" and "the power of logic". The weird thing is.. . . there is no product being sold and no company associated with the ad - in spite of paying about 8 million dollars for the 60 second slot. Very strange at the Orange level.

The ethics of: animal research. caging animals in zoos. animal factory farming. animal breeding that lead to suffering. The question of "the right to life". Why do humans assume they are born with a right to life, yet other animals are not? In general, speciesism

Just a general comment about psychedelic retreats. Do your research and be cautious. Before I did an Ayahuasca retreat in Peru, I spent two months researching. I contacted people that had attended retreats and I contacted retreat leaders. I finally decided on one that resonated with me. Then I traveled there several days prior to the retreat to meet the leaders and members of the community. If the vibe felt weird, I was willing to leave right then and do something else in Peru. I had a backup plan in the nearest city. I had a great retreat and the preparation I put in was well worth it. During my travels in South America, I came across many travelers who had done Aya ceremonies with mixed results. There are a ton of "fly by night" outfits in South America. No regulations at all. There were cardboard signs posted up around Cusco with "Aya ceremony every Tuesday" scribbled on it. There were plenty of stories of shady retreats with improperly prepared Aya, negligence and participants being taken advantage of. These retreats have become big business in some poor countries and there are plenty of predators that want to cash in on naive tourists. There are also highly reputable retreats. The retreat I attended was professional with lots of love and care given to participants. Yet, they're not all like that. Even if a leader is well-intentioned they still need a lot of experience and skills to manage a healthy retreat. And it's not just retreats. Every foreign country I've traveled to had thieves that used some type of trickery to take advantage of naive tourists. I've seen dozens of tricks. When I travel to a foreign country, I'll chat with a local to learn about the tricks thieves use in the area so I can protect myself. Especially regarding passports. I've met so many travelers surprised that they were robbed. It's the individual's responsibility to do their own research and preparation.

@Matt8800 When you say combining with meditation, do you combine them at the same time? I’ve never tried ketamine and curious about it’s spiritual effects.