Forestluv

You mentioned you participate in BJJ. I have an analogy with BJJ I like. I'm thinking about spirituality like BJJ. My limited understanding of BJJ is that there are different styles and many different skills to develop: strength, flexibility, intuition, knowledge, balance etc. I would would think there are many different ways to train and one needs to train in many different areas to become a BJJ master. Yet even a BJJ master can develop more or even create new stuff. Similarly, spirituality has many different components and practices. There is breathing, concentration, yoga, contemplation. There are so many realizations and insights. There are awakenings of the mind, the heart. There are empathetic and intuitive modes. There are so many different areas to develop to become a "black belt" spiritual master.

I think you are giving too much weight to the intellect. I see being as one integrated system, including the intellect. Yet if I had to separate the modes of being, I would give roughly equal weight to each mode - empathetic, emotional, intuitive, intellectual etc. However, I think most personality constructs identify most strongly with the intellectual mode, followed by the emotional mode. I would say thoughts and feelings are integrated. When the intellect and emotional modes are at odds, mind-conflict tensions and neurosis can arise. It seems like your intellect wants to be in charge and wants to run the show. Nothing wrong with that, yet it doesn't need to be that way. There have been studies showing how the intellect can influence the body. For example, thinking of positive experiences in stressful environments can reduce stress hormone levels. Yet there are limits. if a body is being burned alive in a fire, thinking it isn't real won't do much imo. As I've said many times, I think beingness is an integration of many modes of being - including the thinking intellect. So I would say most beings are in ignorance of the dream realization due to dynamics within the intellectual (thinking), emotional (feeling), empathetic modes etc. Becoming aware of the delusions of the intellect is the first level. In consciousness work, nearly every human body first has awakenings within the intellectual system because this is the system most identified with. Many will stop here. Once the intellect is transcended, the next level of exploration is generally within the emotional modes of being, which in part includes experiences. Imo, this is much more advanced. Most mind-bodies will want to stay immersed exploring the intellectual mode, which is of no surprise since they identify most strongly with the intellectual mode. I'd estimate only about 2% of conscious seekers that have mostly transcended the intellectual mode have also transcended the emotion/heart mode. A good example would be Ken Wilber. As a minor point of clarity: rather than saying I am at a high level - I think it would be more accurate to say that the self construct in my mind body has dissolved to a great degree. I'd estimate about 70% or so. The personality still re-appears and there are delusions - especially when interacting with other personalities. Self dissolution can be both beneficial and problematic when trying to relate to other beings without immersion in the self. As you said, sometimes I see someone immersed in a common personality dynamic and I have to think back and remember what that was like. So at the personal level, I think you are right. There are times when there is a disconnect - I am viewing things at a trans-personal level, while they are at a personal level. For example, I often express observations that are completely impersonal that people take personally. For example, I may express an observation of an insecurity dynamic occurring in someone. This would be no different than expressing an observation that an ant is crawling on their arm. Yet often humans will take the insecurity observation personally and get all defensive. I have to think back when I used to do that. These days, that only happens in my mind-body about once a month. I don't believe every physical or mental illness or disorder is due to past traumas. Yet I do think past traumas are one variable that contributes to many mental/physical disorders. This gets into some complex integration of the timeline, the Now, the individual mind-body and the collective mind-body. I don't think one can separate each of those components. Can something arise independent of one of those features? Perhaps, yet that gets into some deep metaphyscial realms that go beyond the intellect. Here, I think we need to be careful with a phrase like "no apparent reason". Quite often something arises. To the human, it may seem like "no apparent reason", yet that might just mean we are not aware of underlying mechanics that give rise to that appearance. Again, I'm saying trauma is one variable in an integrated system. There can be many variables. For some conditions certain variables are huge risk factors, for other conditions each variable is a minor risk factor. For example, a mutant allele for the Huntington gene will lead to a neurological disease. That is the only variable. If a mind-body has this mutant allele, there is a 100% chance they will have the disease. There has never been an exception. In contrast, we know of about 40 variables that contribute Schizophrenia. Each variable only slightly increases the chance of schizophrenia by about 1-10%. Some mental conditions involve few variables, others are complex. Disorders like OCD, ADD, anxiety disorder, PTSD are complex and have many variables. I agree here. There are physical conditions in which awareness doesn't help - at least not at our current understanding. For example, someone who has suffered a spinal cord injury and becomes paralyzed. Medical stem cell treatment can restore some function. Yet, awareness and meditation has no effect in curing paralysis - maybe in the 100-200 years it will. Other conditions, like neuroses and chronic headaches can be often be cured through awareness, meditation and self healing visualizations. Yet it's not either / or. Consider something like PTSD - I think this is a case where a combination of medical and awareness treatment is beneficial. Awareness of underlying psychological dynamics can release. Yet as I mentioned, PTSD is also a brain injury. The genetic architecture in the brain is restructured. At this point, it doesn't look like awareness can reverse the physical alterations. I think it has potential to do so, yet this is some VERY high level awareness in which awareness is entering the brain and physically altering the chemical properties of specific target DNA sequences. This is a higher level than Deepak Chopra. I've caught glimpses of this potential, yet I'd say we are at least 100 years away from this level of awareness therapy.

The problem arises when a self constrains enlightenment on the personal level. If your desire is to stay on the personal level, then do personal development work. Save your self years of futile searching. Enlightenment work involves transcending the personality. It includes the personality AND more. It is much more expansive. The entire personality construct is within it. Trying to limit it to the personality will cause confusion and frustration in the mind-body. It is like thinking the ocean is a personality and saying "Michael Phelps is an ocean", "Is that swimmer over there an ocean?", "How can I become an ocean?". This mindset will keep a person in limbo seeking mode forever. The key is that a self has to surrender that it will not become an ocean no matter how hard it tries. Nothing can oceanize a person. The personality is swimming within the ocean. Yet so are all the fish, seaweed, algae, bacteria etc. It's all within the ocean. Everything. Yet the mind will resist this because it is obsessed with becoming oceanized.

Yes, I understand. This view/experience is tapping into nonduality. Yet its not the full monty. This view/experience is melting into the natural world and becoming the ISness of the natural world. Yet it is also making distinctions and includes separateness. To truly go beyond all paradigms and falsehoods, one word is too many. What is being viewed/experienced above is a profound and beautiful aspect of nonduality. Ime, it is much easier to enter nondual states in nature. Nature is a very powerful teacher of nonduality and ISness.

The below comments are general impersonal comments about the idea presented above. The below comments are not directed at the OP. The misunderstanding is due to an idea of enlightenment on the personal level. In this idea, there is an association between enlightenment and the personality. The question above challenges that association and allows the opportunity to transcend a level, if the self can let go of it's attachment to its idea of enlightenment. The trap here is to try and answer the question on the same personal level it was asked. Yet to answer the question, we must venture to higher levels. . . Enlightenment is not at the level of the person. It even goes beyond trans-personal and trans-human. At the trans-personal level the question "If Osho was Enlightned why did he end up addicted to drugs?" is the same as asking "If Alan Watts was enlightened, why did Osho end up addicted to drugs?". What I did here was to break the association of enlightenment as being on the personal level. At the trans-personal level, the two questions are equal. However, the psychological self will have a very difficult time surrendering to this because the self wants to keep the idea of enlightenment at the personal level - because at this level it is something the self believes it can attain. For those of you with direct experience at the trans-personal level, let's venture up another level. . . Some human minds have become aware of the trans-personal, yet are still attached to humanism. That is, enlightenment is not attained by the illusory self, yet it is attained by the human mind-body. This is deceptively sneaky. At the trans-human level the question ""If Osho was Enlightned why did he end up addicted to drugs?" is the same as asking ""If Osho was Enlightened why did the 1989 San Andreas earthquake occur?". What I did here was to break the association of enlightenment as being on the human level. At the trans-human level, the two questions are equal. However, the human mind-body will have a very difficult time surrendering to this because the human mind-body wants to keep the idea of enlightenment at the human level (the psychological self also sneaks in to contribute to this dynamic). One more. . . let's break the idea that enlightenment is something that occurs within the timeline. . . Here, the question "If Osho was Enlightned why did he end up addicted to drugs?" is the same as the question"If Osho was Enlightened, why did my cell phone battery just die?". What I did here was break the association of enlightenment with the person, human and the timeline.

The below comments are not direct at the OP. They are just general comments about the concept presented. . . This is a good point, yet be careful with opposites. When a realization that one extreme is false, the mind loves to adopt the opposite as true. This can be a big trap. For example, a mind may avoid awareness of deception and pretend like it doesn't exist. After deception is revealed, the mind may adopt the opposite view that everything is deception. This isn't quite true either. The claim "everything is X" nullifies the statement. Saying everything is deception is the same thing as saying nothing is deception. Because, saying everything is deception removes the contrast with nondeception. Consider the statement "Everything is Blue". That nullifies the statement and is the same as saying "Nothing is Blue". If everything is Blue, there is nothing to contrast the Blue color with. There is no reference point, nothing to compare Blueness with. Alan Watts spoke often about opposites and inter-dependency. For example, he would say yin is necessary for yang and vice-versa. Without yang, everything becomes yin and there is no longer anything to contrast yin with. If everything is yin, then nothing is yin. There is nothing to contrast yin with.

In the context of how you are using the term "detachment", I think you make a great observation and it would indeed be a trap. I think there could be a distinction made between two different forms of detachment: Pure detachment: simple awareness of whatever arises. Thoughts and feelings may arise, yet there is no attachment and identification with the thoughts/feelings. There is no judgement or criticism of the thoughts. Thoughts are merely impulses in the brain, similar to how the sound of bird chirps are merely impulses that occur in the brain. Attached detachment: once the awareness described above, it is very tempting for the psychological self to take ownership of it. The self now identifies as being the observer watching the thoughts. This can be a safe haven for the self to hide out undetected. Yet once this identification as being the observer has taken place, I would no longer call it detached awareness. There is now attachment/identification to the awareness. And this is absolutely a trap. One I was in for many years and I've seen it in others. A mind can build an elaborate identity about being the observer.

@kieranperez LSD amplifies energetic and emotional systems. It can turn the intellectual system to mud. This can be highly destababizing for some individuals. For anyone with a history of anxiety, depression, PTSD or bipolar, I would be very cautious and highly recommend starting with low doses. I would not take more than 50ug the first time. In this case, 210ug is plenty to get an initial experience and increase the dosage on subsequent trips if desired. It is much better to be underwhelmed than overwhelmed. As well, people's sensitivity differ. For some, 50ug would be fairly potent. For most, it is enough to have a mild nondual experience that would be very unique. 50ug is one of my favorite dosages to spend time in nature. Also, I would recommend being extra careful about setting. I would avoid settings with people and a lot of stimuli. And avoid settings with any type of negative vibe. Empathy sensitivity can skyrocket, so a mildly disturbing part of a song one never noticed can be incredibly disturbing. A trivial micro-aggression in a movie may seem like violent. It works the opposite as well, a subtle beauty in nature can become so beautiful it brings a person to tears. An interaction with a dog may feel like the most loving moment ever.

@Peo Nonduality is post-intellectual / post-rational so it is very hard to communicate through rational discussion. People on this forum are spending waaay too much time in intellectual zones. There are other modes of being that are much juicier. Explaining nonduality through the intellect is like eating a cardboard picture of chocolate. Go straight to the source. Go straight to the direct experience of eating chocolate. Direct experience is much more powerful and direct. Nearly everyone has had glimpses of nonduality. Guide them into reflecting on the own direct experience. For example: 1. Imagine a time in your life you were awestruck by something magnificent. For me, this was seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time and stepping in St. Peters Bascillus in the Vatican. It was so magnificent is was overwhelming. I was speechless. I stood there for a few moments and dissolved. There were no thoughts and no "me". I was still aware, yet there was just magnificence, just beauty. Oneness. After a few moments my self kicked back in and I started thinking things like "This is so amazing!!!! I totally need to get a picture of this and post in on Facebook. I wish that couple would get out of the way - they are blocking my view". Notice the difference between the nondual glimpse and the conditioned dualistic state. These are very short glimpses and most people may not reflect on them. Yet nearly everyone has had an experience like this and you can encourage them to reflect on it. 2. Love. Many people have had moments in which they experienced deep love. Perhaps with a child, a pet or a lover. The person "melts" and loses sense of themself. There is no "me" and "you" there is just the presence of love. This is generally a very brief glimpse and the person "snaps out of it". Then they start thinking dualistically again. Stuff like "I love you", "This feels so good" or insecure thoughts like "What if she leaves me?". Again, notice the contrast between the nondual experience and the dualistic conditioning. 3. Flow States. a.k.a "being in the zone". Most people who have participated in sports or can play a musical instrument has had glimpses into flow states - the zone. For example, a football player completely in the Now. All thoughts dissolve. All sense of "me" dissolve. There is just happenings in the moment. Similarly, a musician playing the trumpet that loses sense of themself and environment. It's as if the person is one with the instrument. As if the trumpet is playing itself. Again, these are brief glimpses. The athlete will snap out of it and think dualistically again. Stuff like "He fouled me!!". The musician might start thinking dualistically with stuff like "dang, I just missed that note". Nearly everyone can relate to one or more of the above. Not only that, it is also a HUGE turn on and gets people's interest. The above examples are the juice of life. Everyone wants to experience more of it. Now imagine telling someone that rather than being in the zone for 2 seconds once a month, you can be in the zone state 20min everyday. Who wouldn't want that? After explaining the above, I ask people "What percentage of your day do you spend in the above states of consciousness?". For most people these are small glimpses - perhaps 0.01% of their life. So brief they may not even be consciously aware of it. I've explained the above and people have responded "Yes! I've experienced that! I didn't know it was a real thing. I didn't know it had a name. How do I experience more of it?". Now I tell people two things. . . Imagine increasing your time of the above nondual states from 0.01% of your life to 1% of your life. That is a 100X increase. Everyone says sign me up. Next I say "I only gave you three flavors of nondual states. There are dozens more that are equally wonderful". This increases their interest and and desire.

In general, please avoid clickbait titles and twisted themes of death, torture, suicide etc.

@Bluebird I took 200mg last Thursday and this Tuesday. No tolerance at all. I’m going to try 200mg every third day. Hopefully it will be sustainable. I’ll take 10 enhanced days per month. My experience today was similiar to last Thursday. It was great for engagement into solo activities. Yet interacting with others felt like a chore and I really wanted to return to my own world.

I was in a similiar situation with my high school sweetheart. After we left for two different colleges, I became insecure and jealous. I didn’t like her looking at and hugging other guys. I would suggest she was cheating on me. I was totally off the mark and felt bad about it for years. I really loved her and felt awful about treating her like that. It was just because of my insecurity of losing her. For years I regretted it and wanted to be back with her. Several years later, I contacted her and asked to meet with her. She was married at this time and I wasn’t looking to get back together or for her to tell me it was ok and I’m a good person. I wanted to make ammends to her and apoligize to clean up my past and free myself from the regret and chains. We met at a cafe and our vibe was very different. She changed and I may have too. That magical chemistry we had wasn’t there. We had a pleasant conversation and then I felt free and moved on. I think one of the keys was that I was grounded when I went to meet her. I wasn’t needy or desperate for her approval or forgiveness. I wasn’t secretly hoping we might get back together. I was working hard on personal development and wanted to make amends for a harm I caused to someone I had loved. We are still in contact, 25 years later. Last year she got divorced. We went out for lunch and I was supportive to her as a friend. Its funny how life works out sometimes.

@KP_Spirituality27 There is so much variety in relationships. Every relationship dynamic is unique. There can be amazing insights, intimacy, personal and spiritual growth. Experiencing deep intimacy and oneness with another through love, laughter, joy and sadness is some of the most magnificent aspects of life. As well, there can be distractions, manipulations, dishonesty, selfishness, control issues that are really unhealthy. And all sorts of combinations of above. It sounds like you are grounded and not needy/desperate. I think this is key in being patient and selective for good chemistry.

1. There are different usages of the term "conscious". At the absolute level, there is no separation, so there is no "you" and no separate "thing" that will come to "you". It is all One giant thing. 2. Time exists as a human construct. Does time exist from the perspective of a tree? Of a rock? Humans just made it up. So the timeline exists as a human construct. And it sure does come in handy. 3. See #2 4. Infinity is everything. There is no thing separate from everything. Go ahead and try to think of something outside of everything. You can't do it. 5. Because the human mind-body is a limited filter through which things arise. As soon as one says "me" or "human" or whatever, you are using relative context. In a relative context, the human mind-body is limited. It's essentially asking "Why isn't limited unlimited"? The higher levels of consciousness involve becoming comfortable with such paradoxes.

This technique is powerful in that it allows what is to simply arise. Yet, be aware of whatever arises. I would be careful about getting immersed within an enlightenment story. That may provide motivation to practice and develop, yet it can also be a major distraction. It's a balance. If a mind gets too immersed in an enlightenment story, it can end up seeking anywhere its whole life. You are always zero steps from enlightenment, yet because of the mind's idea of enlightenment as some "thing" or "happening" or "event", it won't wake up the most obvious thing ever. What is the best route to anywhere?

This was a theme in the series Westworld. I thought they did a really good job with twists.

Strong doses of cannabis edibles can give a quasi-psychedelic experience. In particular, discomfort and anxiety of losing touch with reality. I've found there is a letting go and surrender aspect on edibles. I did an Ayahuasca retreat in Peru that was amazing. Based on the Ayahuasca and San Pedro retreats down there, I would put in effort to researching to find a reputable retreat that is the real deal. There are lots of half-ass, shabby retreats. Yet, also some very high quality ones. In addition to the actual psychedelic ceremonies, I would recommend getting a feel for the community. My retreat was within a small community in the mountains of Peru. This community was at a very high conscious level. I'd say Turquoise-centered on the SD scale. This was much higher than my conscious level at the time and they helped pull me up. The ceremonies were powerful, yet the time outside the ceremonies were equally powerful, in a different way. Interacting with participants and community members. This is where a lot of integration happened for me. Aya retreats can be intense, yet very profound. The majority of participants say it was the most profound experience of their life (including me). San Pedro would be less intense, yet can also be very profound.

I think you may within a self-need-based perspective of LOA. For those with interest in a trans-personal perceptive of LOA, I think the below video does a good job of explaining.

I received a request to write about my emotional development and how it played out. . . For most of my adult life, I have been intellectually-centered. I've been very logical and preferred reasonable discussions. For example, my mind likes to figure things out and is quite analytical. This was very beneficial for success in my chosen field of science, yet I became off-balance. My intellect was running the show. It wanted to control the narrative. So when emotions arose, my mind would make sense of these emotions and create a story about it. For example, "I feel like this because. . . ". I started meditating at a relatively young age (22y.o.) and by my late 20s, I was able to detach from many feelings as if I was an observer of them. In some aspects, this was helpful. I very rarely got angry. I very rarely lost my cool. Very rarely was I swept away in emotions and did things I regretted. In buddhist groups and support groups, I was completely comfortable discussing things like my vulnerability and fears. Yet this was from a detached intellectual view. For example, I might have shared about how a fear of rejection I had was blocking my development or ability to proceed further in a job. Yet this discussion was in the framework of the intellect and was expressed through the intellect. As well, I wasn't repressing emotions. I could experience emotions. I often felt very appreciative to others. I often felt compassion for others. I've always been sentimental and I would cry during sad movies. I spent time with people in distress. For example, I volunteered in a psychiatric unit with patients that were undergoing extreme emotional distress. I was able to sit and listen to them. I was aware of the so-called "emotional IQ" and I thought mine was pretty high. I was aware of a lot of emotions, I knew lots of theory about emotions and I could calmly discuss emotions. Yet again, in the intellectual realm. What was missing was being able to communicate through the emotional mode of being and being able to connect to others in the emotional realm. This goes waaay back into childhood. I was raised in a family that did not directly express emotions or directly connect through emotions. For example, my father loved me and wanted the best for me - yet never really expressed that directly. The expression of love was always indirect. For example, he would plan a birthday dinner for me to express his love. When I graduated with my doctoral degree he expressed his pride in me through a gift. I do believe he had emotions for me, yet was incapable of expressing it directly. There was never intimacy. We never had a heart-to-heart talk. He never said "I love you" or "I'm proud of you" directly. "Love you" was a throwaway line at the end of phone conversations to say goodbye. We never connected directly through love. When I was in my 30s, I wrote a heartfelt letter to my father telling him about how he was a good role model and how much of my success in life was due to character traits he helped instill in me, like discipline and hard work. I thanked him and said I loved him. . . Years later, my mom brought up that letter to me and said I have no idea how deeply it touched my father. She had never seen anything have that effect on him. . . You see, my dad grew up in an abusive home. His father abandoned him as a boy. His mother was distant and he was an only child. He dreamed of starting a family and giving his children everything he never got. Yet, he never learned how to communicate and connect on an emotional level. The only emotions he expressed directly to me were anger, frustration and disappointment. Hundreds of times he would say how angry and disappointed he was in me, yet never did he say "I love you" with emotion. While spanking me, he would say "I'm doing this because I love you". But that doesn't count. His true love was always expressed indirectly. So here I was, aware of lots of emotions with an intellectual understanding. Looking back, here are a few wake-up calls I never quite got: 1. My girlfriends would often say that they were uncomfortable expressing their emotions to me. They often said I would try to "fix" things and go into thinking mode. Many times they would say things like "I don't want you to figure out what's wrong and how to fix it. I just want to experience the emotion". Yet, I kept going into intellectual mode and could not just sit there and experience emotions with her. 2. Several girlfriends also told me that they felt like they were being analyzed by me when we were together. This is true, I was hyper-analytical. For example, I was traveling through airports with a gf and she seemed upset, yet didn't want to talk about it. I was trying to figure out what was wrong and evaluate her behavior. I couldn't just let her be upset, or connect/communicate on an emotional level. 3. My lack of emotional communication further interfered with relationships. Many times, a gf would blow up and start talking about how upset she was over something. For example, that I had been working into the evening every night and she doesn't feel like she is important. As and intellectual, I found this absurd "Why didn't you just tell me? Why don't you use your words to tell me?". What I couldn't see was that I was totally disconnected from her emotionally for the prior several weeks. If I could communicate emotionally, I would have known what was going on without her telling me. This became a theme in my relationships - that women are emotional beings that can't express their emotions in a reasonable discussion. What didn't occur to me was that I was unable to communicate/connect emotionally. 4. For several years, my students would write evaluations of me with comments like "The professor is highly intelligent, yet he is incapable of relating and having a real discussion with another human being". This triggered defense mechanisms in me, yet I knew there was some truth in it. 4. During a meditation retreat, I was in a private room one-one-one with my teacher. During the mediation, the nature of emotions was arising and I once again was trying to figure them out. After I went on and on for a while, I stopped and there was silence. My teacher looked at me and said "What is missing is the connection. You are holding the plug and can see the outlet. Yet you cannot connect plug to outlet. Thus, the energy cannot flow through". This made me speechless. I knew there was something deep for me there, yet I just didn't get it and I had no idea how one would actually put the plug in the outlet. What I didn't understand at the time is. . . it is not an intellectual thing you figure out. It is a different mode of being, expression and connection. I started to realize that I was pretty much an analytical head walking around and I was missing out on a lot of life. Over the past few years, I have spent a lot of time developing emotional, empathetic and intuitive modes of being. This is where the juice of life is. For example, a few years ago I started learning Spanish. This is my first foreign language. I was hyper-analytical about grammar, rules and proper Spanish. I was in Honduras one time analyzing an inconsistency in the grammar rules that I thought must have clarification. My teacher became exasperated and finally said something to the effect of "You know what? You are right and I'm not sure how that grammar came about. Yet guess what? You aren't learning Spanish. It's more about the sentiment of communication. Look over there at that woman. She arrived here the same day you did and didn't know a word of Spanish. Look how she is communicating with native Spanish speakers". I looked over and this woman was helping the staff cook. She looked nearly fluent. She was so at ease and fluid. She laughed and used her body. She was communicating through broken Spanish, emotion and intuition. It was beautiful. I had studied Spanish for a year before this trip and wasn't even close to the level she attained in four weeks. Then it clicked "It's about the sentiment". And there are many ways to express sentiment. Verbally, intellectually, emotionally, emphatically, intuitively. My trip completely changed. I spent months traveling through central and south america. Being limited to intermediate-level Spanish was a gift, because I could work on other communication and connection modes. Modes I had never developed. These travels were all about human connection. I lived with local families and bonded with them on a human level that included the intellect, emotion, empathy and intuition.

@Pharion To me, this sounds like deep immersion within the story. Strong attachments and identification story. I'm not saying this is bad or wrong. Ime, it is just off-balance. Personal development is great, yet when my mind gets too immersed into it all sorts of stress, confusion, frustration, seeking, disappointment, regret etc. can arise. I've found a balance between personal development and post-personal being to be most healthy for my mind-body. For me, this brings the deeply conditioned sense of not being good enough. Ime, no amount of motivation or achievement will dissolve that sense. Achievement may provide temporary relief, yet it doesn't get to the root. I had to go to the source to work through it.

In the ten ox analogy, this is like seeing the tracks and there is a sense the ox is near. I often listen to teachers and there is something they say that catches me, yet I just don't get it. Then my intellect may try to figure it out, which is a distraction. It's like trying to translate what they are saying, rather than just understanding it directly. For example, I felt this way when I first listened to Rupert Spira's metaphor with the movie screen. At the time, I was grounded in what he refers to as the "observer + object" stage. Yet, now he was talking about observer and object as one. I had this sense that a door was opening, yet I couldn't see on the other side. At these times, it is really important that I am in tune whether I "get it". For me, this "getting it" is embodiment. Yet when something enters that I haven't embodied, my intellect wants to conceptualize it. This has happened with common themes such as "you were never born", "form is formless" and "nothingness". When the speaker has embodied it, there is a sense about that person. For example, there are things that people like Leo and Rupert have embodied. This contrasts with my lack of embodiment. Intellectualizing about it is very unsatisfying to me. There is a desire for the real thing. The embodiment. One thing that helps me is to ask a question and let it sit without trying to figure it out. For example, I just sat with the question "What does it really mean that I "was never born""? Then one day, I find myself in a sensory deprivation tank and it was revealed to me. The question, uncertainty and seeking energy dissolved. My sense is what you write about regarding methods and techniques for insights is gaining momentum. I'm seeing more and more people seeking deeper truth. More and more people being attracted to deeper insights. I'm seeing more methods arise for insights and awakening. I think there is a shift in social consciousness from materialism to awakening and inner truth. And I think it is beautiful.

@ajasatya I'm curious about the OP's question, yet not using the term "consciousness". Do you think it will be possible to upload memories to a computer in the future? I've noticed AI is arising to decode brain activity. For example, a person watches a movie and a computer decodes their brain activity back to the movie. This computer-generated movie is low resolution, yet one can clearly see it is a low-resolution version of the original movie. The resolution will likely keep getting better over time - similar to how photographic resolution has increased. This makes me think that someday AI may be able to download human memories, thoughts and stories. The implications of this would be enormous.

@KP_Spirituality27 You seem to be in a good place heading into the trip. I'm receiving and sending some good vibes.

One thing that helped me in this area was the realization that "I" (the thinking self) am not the author of my thoughts. This is an aspect of losing control of the mental narrative and it was uncomfortable and scary for a while. It dramatically changed my relationship with thoughts, decisions and responsibility. It became liberating and relieved a lot of self-imposed pressure. I used to put a lot of pressure on my self to make good decisions and I often rehashed previous bad decisions. At times I would I would wish I could go back and make a different decision and I would beat myself up. For a little while, I went to the opposite extreme in which there is "no doer". There is no "me" choosing or doing anything. Whatever arises arises. That is true from one perspective, yet contracting myself in that perceptive didn't turn out too well either. Lately, I've been trying to integrate it all into a more holistic state of being. To integrate the timeline and the Now. I'm trying to become aware of and integrate intellectual, emotional, intuitive and mysterious modes of being. So that they are inter-connected friends communicating together - rather than in conflict with each other. When making decisions, I still consider pragmatic factors. Yet I now add in a couple elements. First, I ask myself "Which decision will lead to greater expansion? Which will lead to contraction?". I often get an intuitive sense and move in that direction. Also, I ask myself "Is this seeking energy desiring to satisfy a self need? Or is the source of the seeking energy beyond the self?". My intellect and reasoning used to dominate my decision-making process. This created internal conflicts between intellectual, emotional and intuitive modes of being. For example at times my body was saying one thing and the intellect was trying to reason the opposite thing. This created inner turmoil. I've worked a lot on trying to balance my intellectual, emotional and intuitive modes of being. It feels much healthier for the mind-body. If regret about past decisions arise or pressure about future decisions arise, I see that as having value and I don't push it away or grasp at it. It is a message. It may be a message to move in a certain direction. Yet often it is reflective that too much energy is flowing into a desire to change the storyline.

I would go into the trip open to whatever lessons arise. For me, being genuine and humble are really important factors. I’ve gone into a trip with a request that my subconscious fears be revealed. And they were. Not only my fears, also the nature of all human fear and insecurity. It increased my empathy for others 100X.