Forestluv

The idea of “permanent” requires the construct of a timeline. Permanence is the idea of an unchanging nature through time - and it is extremely alluring to a mind. Assumptions of past and future go deeply into the subconscious and can be extremely subtle. Many ideas are indirectly linked to underlying assumptions of past and future. Yet they are merely thought impulses occurring Now. They are bird chirps. The only thing unchanging is Now. The only thing permanent is Now. Yet to even say “Now” allows the underlying assumption of a past and future. Strictly speaking, there is no Now. Simply IS. Transcending the timeline is a deep realization.

@Inliytened1 You seem to be making a distinction between form and formless. Nothing wrong with distinctions. Yet that distinction can be deconstructed and reconstructed. This all assumes the construct of a timeline.

I’ve had etizolam on hand, yet have never taken it during a trip. Yet just having it on me, knowing I could sedate the trip, helped reduce anxiety and increase confidence. Part of the process is experiencing, deconstructing and working through the underlying source of the fear and anxiety. Yet ime pushing anxiety too far into panic zones is counter-productive.

@GroovyGuru Start with small doses and work your way up, if you desire. On a mini dose of LSD, meditate, contemplate and spend some time in nature. Get a feel for it. Treat it like medicine. Perhaps your mind-body will resonate with low doses and thats it. Perhaps you will feel a calling to increase the dosage. Perhaps psyches won’t resonate with your mind-body. Who knows? Only one way to find out. I would start low and let the direct experience guide you. Trust your intuition. Psyches can help with getting in touch with intuition. Beyond all the thought stories and analysis. It’s beautiful.

@cetus56 “Shift Happens” ?

Nice. I was unable to fully cross over without some help. Yet after the first several times, it comes much easier now.

She isn’t obligated to respond to you, that is your own expectation of her. I would take some time off with no contact and look inward into myself. It sounds like you are placing too much focus on her. After a week or so of introspection, I may write her briefly describing my feelings - perhaps something like “I’d like to be in contact with you and other family members and have been feeling rejected and unloved” (if that is what you discover internally). I would also write a supportive message and leave the door open - something like “I realize you desire some distance from me and I respect that and hope you are doing well. Perhaps sometime in the future we can get back in touch. The door is open if you would like to contact me. If not, I wish you well. With love, xyz”. If she doesn’t want to reestablish contact, I would not try again for at least 30 days. Then, depending on how I felt about it after 30 days of no contact, I may reach out again in a genuine way. I don’t have all the details on the situation. Yet based on what you wrote, that’s how I would handle it. To me, it sounds like there are some control issues going on to work through.

@Scholar Yes ??

@ChoseyFrozey Imagine if you knew that the next time you fall asleep you will never wake back up. . . It would be extremely difficult to fall asleep. I think I could partially fall asleep, yet there would be background resistance holding on. Personally, I don’t think I could go the whole way into complete sleep without a substance to overpower the will to survive.

@fryingLotus I took a similar voyage through South America for three months. It was highly transformative. I wish you the best along your travels. What unfolds is amazing.

@Preety_India I did an Aya retreat in Peru with three ceremonies. It was very transformative. For those considering an Aya retreat, I would recommend researching various options. Ime, the environment and community had a big impact on the experience. Find one that resonates with you. There are some centers with high quality ceremonies, shamans, community - and other ceremonies that are shabby.

@Shakazulu I would recommend doing research to find a community that resonates with you. The shamans and community are as important as the Aya itself. There are some highly conscious Aya ceremonies and others that are shabby or shady. The environment is interrelated with the Aya. As well, I would recommend doing at least three ceremonies, if possible. Each ceremony and trip can be very different and reveal different insights. You don’t know which will have the really deep life transforming insights. For me, it was the second ceremony of three.

I’ve found eye gazing can go deep. Like tears flowing and you don’t know why. It’s beyond words, very intimate and beautiful. I’ve also found tantric-like meditation/yoga effective. Like to sit in postures that may or may not involve physical or eye contact. Sexual energy may arise, and then you can work with it. It transforms into another sort of mixture of energy - including yet not limited to sexual energy. It becomes transcendent. The trick for me is not to fall into conditioned mind-body patterns and just follow the programmed script if having sex when the energy arises. It takes discipline. I’ve found conversations can also be helpful to connect at deeper levels, yet they can be too heavy on thought stories. I find verbal conversations useful in certain contexts, yet limited. Nonverbal communication and connection is also important, yet ime it’s rare to find someone open to exploring these realms.

There is a realm of masculine and feminine dynamics you are not in tune with and do not seem open to. Ime, social conditioning plays a big role. Deconstructing that as an unattached observer is key, ime. To a mind who has not done that, it would certainly appear that the other is kidding themself - since that mind is still perceiving through a filter. In doing so, you miss out on another realm of perception and experience. There is nothing wrong with that, it’s just limited and contracted. A mind-body would need to be curious, open and desire to explore. It is as if one is saying Lithuania is all there is. I’m trying to point to you that Lithuania is within something larger - Europe. If one holds on to beliefs that one cannot explore outside of Lithuania unless they are some type of sage, that will keep them contracted within Lithuania. One will not be able to explore beyond. And one doesn’t need to be a sage to explore beyond limiting, conditioned beliefs. That itself is another limiting belief. . . . One simply needs to observe and deconstruct those beliefs. It’s like clearing old things out of a closet - it allows space and openness for new things to be revealed and experienced. That is one of the greatest joys in life. The first stage is clearing out and creating space. Then, exploring. Then discovering (mainly through direct experience). Then integrating, then embodiment.

Awesome. Thanks for sharing it with us ?

Enlightenment takes it deeper. . .

Schrodinger. I learned that in school.

You are missing out on something really special. . .

Just to clarify meaning: You mean to say “IF. . . THEN”. "THAN" would have different meaning.

Be mindful of placing emphasis on a destination. One may also see the journey is the destination. A journey back home to here and now.

Yes. Even thoughts about perfection in some future scenario are occurring now. There is no change in the now. Change requires a timeline of past, present and future. Sounds good. I would use the term "observing" or "experiencing" rather than accepting. For example, I haven't seen my gf for over a week and want to see her. I miss her. That's just what is arising. In the moment, I want to be with her. I can observe it and experience it in the moment. Then it dissolves and something else arises. Bingo! The notion of time is just a construct. It is a very useful construct in practical terms, yet it is a construct. Actuality is Now. In actual terms, there is no past or future - those are ideas that are occurring Now. So in actual terms, there is no past and future. Even saying "present moment" or "Now" suggests a past and future. In actuality, we don't even need to call it "present moment" or "now". There is no present moment or now - because there is no past or future to compare it to. There is what IS.

Good stuff. You are a natural at this. How were you able to stay aware for so long? One thing I would add in terms of the mind creating imperfect-perfect scenarios within the timeline and feeling a need to change (to go from an imperfect state to a perfect state) is that a "perfect" state of absolute perfection cannot be found in the timeline. It can only be found Now. Seeking to improve, create, explore, develop and grow is great stuff - that's what humans and other organisms do. Yet "home" is right now. It seems to me that a lot of human distress is wanting to get "home" to some place that is not here and now. Yet, in the truest sense - "home" is Now. Our "higher" essence comes back "home" to Now and realizes the whole storyline is not home. That's not to say that the timeline and storyline is not part of the human experience - it certainly is. Wanting to change, grow, evolve, learn, explore and discover are beautiful aspects of humanness. Yet human minds can get trapped in the timeline / storyline and forget that home is always Now. The journey is the destination. Yet we continue the journey. . .

@123456789 Are you familiar with quantum mechanics - dual particle + wavelength properties and superposition? There is stuff being revealed scientifically that is outside the traditional scientific paradigm of materialism and linear logic.

@lostmedstudent The problem isn't your fuel source, it is the body's conditioning. In particular, it lacks LSD (long, slow , distance). This is the most important aspect of an endurance marathon. The body needs to be able to improve it's fat burning efficiency through sub-lactate threshold slow runs. Like below 65% of your heart-rate-max. That will feel slooow. This helps to improve energy metabolism off of carbohydrates toward fats. It also has a host of other benefits such as building more capillaries, increasing mitochondria etc. I've run several marathons on about 35k/week, yet some of those weeks included a 35k run (I only ran once that week). A 20k long run is super low, unless you are doing the whole run as an extended tempo run and doing cross training. I've found it best to do my last long run 3 weeks out before race day and begin to taper. Based on your training, I would consider switching to the half-marathon if available. I think it's still possible to run the full marathon without causing excessive stress to your mind-body if it is a relatively flat race course and you get decent weather. If it's a hilly course with hot weather, that would make it much more difficult. If I were to do the full marathon. . . keep in mind that any training you do takes about 10-14 days to get integrated into your body, so you really only have 1-2 weeks of training left. I would say the most important thing is to get in a real long run. It doesn't have to be fully running. Walk-run it. Yet you've got to get both your mind and body into a new zone - for both time and distance. I would say at least 30k, better 35k. If you can do 35k, you can finish the full marathon. Again, I would walk and run. The continuous movement and energy metabolism is most important. As well as the psychological aspect. Take headphones. Run with friends, whatever it takes. it's fine to push yourself to exhaustion to with "good hurt", yet don't push into "bad hurt" - such as intense pain in a joint telling you to stop. I would plan to not have to do anything else that day productive. In addition to the above long run, I would slightly increase the mileage with an emphasis on a few "tempo runs". This is the second most important marathon workout - it is shorter run with a pace that is "comfortably hard". Yet, I would not increase the mileage or distance too drastically. The above long run will tax the body a lot. I would not do any strength or speed work training at this point. It is too close to race day and you don't have the base to support it. I would also get out of the mindset that you have to continuously run the whole thing nonstop to count it as "finishing". I would say that is too much at this point. There is no shame in run-walking a marathon or ultra-marathon. The top endurance runners - run-walk their ultras.