Forestluv

@JustinS That’s a sweet space ?

As many reminders as possible to bring awareness back to Now. Over time, the unaware stretches will get shorter and shorter and the aware stretches longer and longer. One will catch themself falling asleep faster. Yet the ego want like it because it will lose control.

@Aldo There would be enlightened presence revealed within the stage Orange businessman. Yet he still has the same human form with the same conditioned mind and body. The same neural pathways in his brain. His interests and desires may change a lot or not much at all. It’s not like he would suddenly undergo 20 years of development, integration and maturity to stage Turquoise.. . Awakening is along the vertical axis of Now. SD stages are along a horizontal axis of development over time. And the person doesn’t get enlightened. The personality construct is illusory. There is no thing called a “person” to get enlightened. From the perspective of personal self preservation, enlightenment is personal death.

@Nahm I imagine the phrase “I aint ‘fraid of no thought. ThoughtBusters!!”, with a picture of a cowbell in a circle and line though it.

@chudders Thought impulses are no more dangerous than bird chirps. It is the attachment and identification to thoughts can have a negative impact on the body.

@chudders This is just what comes up for me: my mind loves to create problems and drama. It may create an irrational scary recurring thought pattern that seems like a monster. What I find helpful is to first stop feeding the beast. If I have an irrational fear of having a stroke, I shouldn’t be online reading stuff that will enforce that irrational pattern - such as reading about the Law of Attraction and stories about how thoughts of having a stroke may attract a stroke. Not helpful. Next, during meditation, I would observe and label thoughts and practice detachment and identification. I would not beat myself up about it. I would treat myself with care and love, just as I would a child that has an irrational fear that a monster is under their bed. I would also try scrambling the recurring thought into nonsense. I have found that rational thinking is not always a cure to irrational thinking. Sometimes it’s helpful to match cra-cra with cra-cra. For example, if the recurring thought arose and I couldn’t seem to let go of it, I might make silliness of it. For example, imagine pulling back the curtain to the source of these disturbing thoughts. And behind the curtain is. . . The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters. It’s really hard to take The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man seriously. If he keeps it up, tickle him and make him giggle - and laugh at the absurdity of it all.

I’ve found spending a day immersed in nature with no cell phone or human contact is helpful to recondition the mind and body. A weekend or week, even better.

Very nice. I immersed myself in nature yesterday and my self dissolved into it. Similar to what you wrote, I was amazed by how strongly my mind and body resonated with nature. Nature is a profound teacher and guide. It holds no expectations or agenda. Nature is absolute genuine. . . I can let go and go much deeper in nature than with other humans. I can be hyper sensitive to human energies and awkwardness and anxiety may arise. Yet in nature, that dynamic is not in play and layer after layer can dissolve without anxiety. . . It is so healing, it’s as if nature baths the minds body in healing energy and drains out unhealthy conditioning. I spent several hours laying in nature yesterday. Thoughts, worries and stories dissolved and simply Being arose. And simply Being nature is wonderful ♥️

These are internal issues arising. You are creating a thought story in your head about how you were hurt. And you believe the thought story is true. Seeking an external remedy for relief is a self fulfilling prophecy that will fuel the thought story and keep the mind immersed in the story. . . It boils down to a story of “who I am” and trying to maintain and protect that identity. To grow and expand, I would look inward. Deconstruct the thought story. What feelings are associated with it? From where does it arise? What are my attachments to it? How is my identity grasping at this story? In terms of self development and actualization. It’s not about the other person, it’s about what is being revealed about your personality structure. The identity of gender and sexuality is one of the deepest for the psyche and can be challenging to observe and deconstruct. I would first observe how the mind has assumed this is a “problem” and that “I have been hurt”. If the mind holds onto those two assumptions, it won’t be able to observe the underlying dynamic.

❤️ ?

@chudders You are not these worrisome thoughts and feelings. These worrisome thoughts and feelings are arising in your mind and body due to conditioning. There is identification with the worrisome thoughts and feelings as being “me”. I would recommend putting in effort to dis-identify with the worrisome thoughts and feelings. This can be very difficult when the mind and body is deeply immersed in thought stories and feeling anxiety. The mind and body may desperately want relief and try to repress or escape, which can perpetuate the recurring pattern. It takes time and effort to deconstruct and dissolve this conditioning. I would try to relax the mind and body as much as possible - via yoga, running, a bath, meditation etc. and observe. If the worrisome thoughts and feelings arise, observe from a neutral viewpoint. There will be desire to identify and engage with the thoughts and feelings, yet you are not the thoughts and feelings. Having detached awareness of the “storm” appearing and disappearing gives a very different perspective. One can then start the process of uncover, discover and discard - allowing letting go and reconditioning the mind and body.

@SageModeAustin I didn’t phrase it well. I meant that you are not avoiding personal responsibility.

@SageModeAustin This probably revealed surface level stuff, yet I think it’s good it was exposed and that you aren’t avoiding or blaming her. You are open to looking at it. That’s huge. I would be careful tho about spiraling into a place of “see I’m too insecure and can’t be confident. I’ll never be able to have a healthy relationship”. My second Ayahuasca ceremony went into the depths of my deepest insecurities - how they formed and how they were subconsciously directing my feelings and behavior. Later I was shown everyone else’s inner insecurities and deep empathy and love arose. This could probably be revealed in other settings, yet an Aya ceremony is a great atmosphere due to the love and support there. One of the keys I’ve found is to stop identifying with the insecurities. Rather than “I am insecure”, it becomes “A feeling of insecurity has arisen in my body”. It is a totally different orientation.

Awesome progress. I would call this Law of Attraction, rather than nonduality.

I just wanted to chime in that ime, it doesn’t work out well by trying to repress and hide insecurities and act secure. It just causes more internal problems. I found it much better to work through inner insecurities through introspection, contemplation and discussions with others. Insecurity can be expressed in immature ungrounded ways and mature grounded ways. We all have insecurities - when one person expresses it in a way that grasps for validation and attention in a “please don’t leave me” way - it doesn’t transmit a sense of well-being. The other person has their own insecurities and the last thing most people want is to take on someone else’s insecurities. . . Yet there is also a mature way to express insecurity. Once a person has worked through it, they can sit with the feelings without clutching for another. When the timing is appropriate, one can have fearless vulnerability and speak from a place of experience and grounded confidence. There is no longer fear of rejection. This can come across as being sturdy as a rock. This can allow a safe space and the other person may sense the other’s maturity and stability in this area and open up with some of their own insecurities. . . Yet one has to work through their own issues first - one can’t fake it, they will get exposed if it’s not genuine. Plus, timing is crucial. One doesn’t bring up the topic to relieve their own insecurity by grasping or to try and look fearless. One doesn’t need to raise the issue in a needy way because they are grounded when the feeling of insecurity arises and they can deal with it without seeking and clutching. Occasionally it may come up in conversation, yet in a grounded way that can be helpful to the other person and relationship. Almost like a role model for the other person’s insecurities. A role model as how a mature, stable person deals with insecurity within a relationship.

As a neutral example of repetitive thought patterns and the Law of Attraction: Imagine someone is pursuing their dream to write a book. The writer has repetitive negative thoughts that he is unworthy as a writer, he fears that other people will see his deficiencies, is defensive to feedback from others and worries that he is investing too much time into something he will likely fail at. He worries that no one will buy his book and how embarrassed he will be to face his family and friends. . . It is highly likely that due to this orientation, his book writing journey is not going to turn out well. Imagine another person is highly excited to write her first book. Her recurring thoughts are about how passionate she is about her topic and how much her book will help others. She is open to feedback because she sees editors as experts that can help her develop writing skills and produce a better product. It is much more likely that her book writing journey will turn out better than the guy above - even if they started with the same skill set and resources, because their mindsets will attract different realities to unfold.

Too far off the topic of self actualization.

As requested, the OP would like to stop. Keep in mind that inflaming and baiting others into arguments is a form of trolling.

Space vs not space is a dualism. My initial impression of the this thread you started was that you were genuine and open regarding your question into nonduality. Yet it appears you are oriented toward arguing and defending a pre-conceived set of beliefs.

There is no “my” god. That would entail dualistic separation.

These are all constructs. Your mind won’t expand if you are contracted within constructs. You haven’t broken through with direct experience yet. It’s not something I can explain to you. If you want it, do the practices.

“It” isn’t a thing. We may use the word “It” as a pointer, yet all words are inherently dualistic and aint “It”, including the word / concept “It”. Yet as humans, we communicate through language. I find it helpful to relax the mind and not get attached to the words, the words are only pointers.

@ColdFacts One word is too many, a trillion words not enough.

You are still making constructs of existence vs. nonexistence. “It” is prior to intellect, constructs and images. All those thought constructs are fine and dandy. That’s what human minds do, including my mind. Yet to go prior to that, one needs to surrender all. This is why direct experience of the absolute is so crucial. If you like a sense of grounding, the images of quantum mechanics of superposition and position may be helpful. As well, Leo’s video on Actuality.

All images and concepts of it, existence, space, things, within etc is Everything. Any thing you imagine is Nothing / Everything. You can spend years of your life trying to escape (I spent 23 yrs trying), yet when you deconstruct all things, you are left with Nothing = Everything. There are no more priors. This is why the direct experience is crucial. A mind cannot see it through thoughts, concepts and images.