Forestluv

Yea, relative truths. You are expanding faster than the universe my friend. She was. I was so enamored by her beauty. But the cray cray became too much.

From a physical perspective, cells have enzymes called methyl transferases that can add methyl groups to specific regions of DNA in response to environmental conditions. Yet we are still earning about mechanistic details. Scientists haven’t yet considered “existential inputs” yet. We’ve barely scratched the surface. Have you ever heard of Atari from the 1980s? That’s kinda where we are at.

@Scholar This is a great question. It’s the type of integration between existentialism and science I would love to see. The answer is yes, but we don’t have mechanistic details. Science is still centered at high Orange and mostly influenced by materialism and financial incentives. I teach genetics and have done a lot of consciousness work. My mind is naturally integrative and I can “see” inter-relationships between the big holistic mind of reality expressing itself through epigenetics of human minds. Learning the mechanistic details will expand our understanding of evolution, inheritance and collective consciousness. It will relate nonphysical to physical - similar to how Quantum Mechanics has. Epigenetics is starting to show this, yet we are still at an early stage. I went to an epigenetics seminar last night. Afterwards, I had a long discussion with the reasearcher. We talked about the potential of trans-generational epigenetic memory and the potential of epigenetics to predict the future and adapt accordingly. We also discussed potential for epigenetic memory of “past lives” and explored the question of “what is intelligence”? I was pleasantly surprised how open and curious he was about this. Scientists are evolving. . .

I should mention that the story I wrote is just that, a story. From a personal perspective, it happened as those experiences. From trans-personal awareness, they are appearances of what we call “memories” happening Now - rather than experiences that previously happened. @mandyjwThe ringing has persisted. I’m habituating. . . . Going into the woods in the middle of the night sounds awesome. I think your path and perspective to awakening is awesome.

@Beginner Mind I think you are on the interface of a big expansion into nonduality. . . It’s hard to discuss because language is dualistic, so there are all sorts of “pointers” and metaphors we use to communicate. . . Carse seems like a great nonduality teacher. I’m not disagreeing with him. It’s as if he is saying there is one whole elephant - there are no ears, tail etc. It’s all one giant elephant. I do’t disagree with that. I’m saying the ears, tail etc. is also the elephant. Setting up “either / or” opposites is a new form of duality - yet it is inevitable since all language and imagery is dualistic. This boils down to “exist”. We now have a new duality: existence vs. non-existence. We could spend years exploring what is existence , grey areas between existence and non-existence and inter-relationships between the two. Personally, using imagery of opposites doesn’t resonate with me. Rather, I would imagine more like this. . . Imagine a timeline along a horizontal axis. This timeline is the past, present and future that we are all familiar with. It is all of our memories. It is history. It is the life story of “me”, the construct of a self, ego. . . . Next, imagine a vertical axis of Now. What is actual right Now. Presence. Most people are so mesmerized by thought stories of past and future, they don’t awaken to Now. It can seem boring and uncomfortable. Yet this vertical axis of Now is infinite. The horizontal timeline represents personal growth and vertical Now represents awakening. Yet as you wrote, 99.99999% of humanity is contracted within the horizontal timeline. . . Carse is saying there is no horizontal axis - this is helpful to orient on the vertical axis and awaken to infinite Now. . . . If we are Now, what happens to the timeline? It dissolves and there is no past or future, there is only Now. What happens to the story of “me”? Without the timeline of past and future, what happens to all my memories? All my life experiences? . . . It is all occurring Now. All those thoughts about my life experience are appearances happening Now. . .Just like all the other appearances happening Now. From the perspective of Now, the whole ego collapses, because the ego requires a timeline of past and future to be a real thing that is continuing through time. From this perspective, Carse is right on: “there is nobody home”. Home is infinite Now and there is nobody Home. A deep human desire is to return home to Now. The reason it feels right is because it’s true. What do you know to be true more than anything? . . . That what is actually happening Now is happening Now. The ISness of Now. We don’t need any evidence to prove Now is Now. We don’t search around trying to validate that Now is Now. It seems overly simple and obvious, yet it goes deep. Infinitely deep. And all dualities collapse in Nowness.

The WestWorld series for self actualization. The Sense8 series for high level empathy and inter-personal connection.

This kinda stuff can get tricky. . . If one does not know truth and truth is a feeling - it opens the door to relative subjective experience. I'm not saying you are wrong. It's just something I like to explore. . . So, what if my girlfriend and I are in an argument. Let's showed up 15 minutes late to an event and she is very upset and says I disrespected her. I tell her there was traffic on the highway due to a car accident and I couldn't help it. She says I should have left earlier. Then she suggests that since I didn't text her saying I would be late, that I did it intentionally to get even for something else. Now I'm upset. I didn't do this intentionally. So each of us see this very differently. Each of us is feeling upset and speaking our truth (based on our feelings). Yet if the truth is speaking our feelings, which one of us has the truth. Are both of us speaking truth? If so, the term "truth" loses meaning. If we are both truth, then it cancels each other out and we are just speaking our feelings.

Yes. I did the 5-meo retreat last May and stopped the first week in June. I haven't tripped since (except for a couple microdoses below threshold). I become destabalized and needed time to integrate things. It's been a good break. I would say the biggest benefit was that some insights that were out of reach have become embodied. In some ways this is good, yet it's also more challenging to communicate this stuff with people. Facets that were out of my reach a year ago are now part of my normal perception/consciousness. A lot of it no longer feels "novel" or "special", yet it is still "out there" for normies and I need to be careful how I communicate with others.

I had a similar experience a couple years ago. The therapist was very problem oriented. Like we need to have a problem to fix. But I was more into exploring and growing. "Problem" wasn't quite the right fit. I wanted to go deeper into self actualization and also use insights for growth. . . I then searched for "counselors" rather than therapists. I found an elderly counselor who was nearing retirement. She was an old hippy of the 1960s from California. She was very open-minded and curious. I really liked her perspective. I found out that was what I wanted. I didn't want a "fixer of problems". I wanted to explore my existence and reality with someone at an intimate level and have another perspective. . . She was concerned about my psychedelic use, yet not from the perspective that psychedelics are "bad". Rather, she was picking up on seeking energy I had with psychedelics. She knew I wasn't addicted to psychedelics and that they were useful to me - yet she sensed this seeking/chasing certain consciousness that was off-balance. . . For example, I may have spoken about deep levels of direct experience of empathy with psychedelics. She would say "That's great. How can we get that while sober?". I would speak about psychedelics as if they were my super power. As if I gained new abilities and higher level of consciousness. Yet I couldn't do it sober and didn't realize I yearned to be able to do it sober. She was the first real life person I spoke to about my psychedelic use and was the first to suggest to me I could develop those abilities and high consciousness all the time - with or without psychedelics. That was appealing to me. After our first session she looked at me, grinned and said "I haven't had one like you for many years. This is going to be fun.". I knew then that she was the one. She retired about 6 months later and I miss her.

I forgot to mention. . . Be kind to your mind and body. There was an insight at one point that I should stop for the wellness of my mind and body - but I was no longer attached/identified to a mind and body and I didn't listen. I later learned to listen. . . As well, I haven't tripped since that ordeal. I don't know if the identification and immersion into anxiety would return while tripping.

The author gives beautiful descriptions of nonduality. He is not wrong and there is no need for defense. His pointers are great for revealing nonduality. Another way to describe it. . . imagine being conditioned your entire life to see a coin as "heads or tails". This is a duality of heads vs. tails. To point to nonduality, we might say "There is no tails, there is no heads. It is all one coin". A person who has been conditioned their entire life to see heads or tails would have a very difficult time seeing this. Then they may realize "Ahhh, it's all the same coin!!! It's all One!!". This is a major nondual breakthrough and it is true - it is all one coin. Yet the mind operates in opposites and will create a new duality: "The coin is one. It is not heads/tails". Now we have "one coin vs. heads/tails". This too breaks down. It is all one coin and heads/tails. . . The reason we push so hard toward nonduality in the beginning is because the mind is conditioned and grounded in duality. . .

@StephenK It depends on the society. There have been many forms of power dynamics over human history and many forms that occur now.

My mind and body still experiences anxiety/resistance. Yet there is another awakening in this dynamic. . . Last May, I did 5-meo daily for about three weeks and went through what you seem to be describing. There was the anxiety of "ego death" prior to, and during, each trip. After about 7 consecutive days, there was another form of "ego death" that arose while sober. I was losing my mind sober and I went through a sober ego death. I was at the interface of sanity and insanity while sober and was unable to regain my sanity while sober. This was a whole new level of anxiety and it got really intense. I realized that if I continued, I was surrendering all. Not just surrendering for a 4hr trip. I was surrendering my mind, sanity, career, family, friends - everything. I may go into a coma, a psychiatric ward, and have permanent brain damage. I continued. . . The next trip, I was gone. Permanently. Zero anxiety, fear, resistance. No personality. Not just during the trip. Sober as well. Absolute clarity. All day and night. No contextualizations or experiences. The "it". . . .After about 10 days, there was no longer any difference between 5-meo and no 5-meo. I would sit on my cushion and didn't even know if I had ingested the 5-meo yet. After 24 days, I stopped the 5-meo and this trans-human consciousness continued for another few days. . . .Then one day there was an odd thought/feeling that I didn't know what it was - yet it felt vaguely familiar - like a vague recollection of a past life. I was curious and tried to get in touch with it. . The vagueness started to come into focus and then the realization. . . I was perceiving another person that I saw as different than myself. I then remembered what this was, it was that thing called "self". Then more appearances of self. . . Then the anxiety and resistance. But now, the anxiety was not due to loss of self, it was due to the return of self. "I was like noooooo.. . . . ". And I realized the root of anxiety, resistance, suffering from the other side. . . Two days later, a ringing sound started in my head - as loud as a smoke detector. I couldn't make it stop and felt it would last forever. More intense anxiety into panic. Plus, I had lost my enlightened state which intensified it. The blaring in my head continued for days and I couldn't sleep or function. It was like a non-stop ego death of anxiety and panic. There came a point in which absolute peace revealed itself. My mind and body was in full-on anxiety and panic. . . and there was absolute peace as well. In that moment of panic and terror, there was peace. There was also realization that I was just as enlightened as that suffering terror-filled self as I was as that transcendent consciousness beyond self. Full circle. . . Since then, there have been times of mild mind and body anxiety. I don't like experiencing anxiety and I take action to relieve it. Yet that deeper underlying absolute peace is eternally present - even when anxiety is present. . .

The author gives beautiful nonduality pointers. Part of me wants to stop right here and just say they are beautiful nonduality pointers. Another part of me wants to take it a step further. Looks like this part wins out. . . Realizing the contrast between duality and nonduality is a profound awakening that few people realize. Yet it creates a new duality (dual vs. nondual) that also collapses. "In Truth, in the Absolute, in All That Is, there is no evolution, no progress, no becoming better, no becoming. All is as it is. The idea that the world is in bad shape and that the present point in history is pivotal and that something has to be done, is as old as the human mind; it has always seemed thus, at every point in 'human history.' In truth everything is in perfect balance; the world never gets better and never gets worse, although to the apparent individual instruments it may seem that it does." This is a great teaching toward deep and profound nondual realizations. This is a really important step and I can't see how someone can skip this step. Everything he says is true, yet it creates a new duality: If the Truth is All That Is, how can there be no evolution? How can there be no progress, no becoming better? The Truth is All That Is. The Truth is Everything - which includes evolution and no evolution. The above passage can knock someone off their conditioned grounding - a person may believe there is evolution, progress and becoming better. Orienting a person to see the opposite of that is a profound awakening: no evolution, no progress, no becoming better. The human mind is conditioned to perceive in opposites and will embrace this new opposite: no evolution, no progress, no becoming better. . . This is a deep awakening few humans realize. Yet there is more. . . This new duality of opposites also breaks down. . . There is evolution and no evolution, there is progress and no progress, there is becoming better and no becoming better. . . This is the deeper insight, yet people first need to see the contrast between duality and nonduality before realizing the collapse of duality vs. nonduality. Once someone realizes the contrast of duality and nonduality, that ladder is discarded and the deeper level is revealed. . .

My mind and body has gone through a similar dynamic of anxiety and resistance. It's uncomfortable, yet it is what it is. I suppose one can try to relax the mind and body. It can be resistance to what the mind and body perceives as an uncertain threat. Yet I've also found that at times I am desiring/seeking a conscious state. There is desire to attain something, somewhere. At times, there is mind and body resistance against seeking a conscious state. It could be that the mind/body needs to recover, integrate or have sober awakenings of Now. Part of psychedelic experience and wisdom is the intuition of knowing when to trip and what dosage. These days, I only trip when my mind, body and spirit are all aligned and say "yes, now is the time". It is spontaneous and I never know when it will surface. There was a period I was doing 5-meo daily because mind, body and spirit was aligned. Yet I haven't tripped for four months because mind, body and spirit haven't been aligned. All three components haven't felt right about it. I no longer try to convince one component it's right. That was part of my resistance and anxiety. For example, my mind and spirit feel a calling, yet my body doesn't quite feel right about it. So I don't do it. . . When will I trip next? Who knows - maybe tonight, maybe next week, maybe next year. . .

Because it is their own mind. . . My neighbor was recently diagnosed with early dementia and fears losing her mind. Why aren't you afraid right now? Because it is her mind, not your mind.

That is only about 35% of the population - not nearly enough to win an election. Trump won the last election through many factors: he created a choice between “the lesser of two evils”, he benefited from Russian interference and voter suppression. He lost the vote by a large margin, yet benefited from an archaic electoral college that gave Trump voters more weight than Clinton voters. About 35% of the population are already stupid enough to vote for Trump again, but it’s not enough. With voter suppression it goes up to about 38% and with electoral college leverage, it goes up to about 40%. He still needs another 10% of people to be stupid enough to vote for him. Possible, yet not easy to do. Trump recently pressured Ukraine for help in promoting his “lesser than two evils” message against Biden - yet got busted. This is a good sign, yet is not nearly enough to stop Trump.

@CreamCat How does one know what they speak is truth? Who/what decides what is truth?

The author creates a duality between Truth and Non-Truth. Between absolute and relative. We might consider this “enlightened duality”. It is a very profound realization and there are many beautiful expressions in this area. Yet this duality ultimately collapses, just like all dualities.

I don't feel any attraction to trans-women that are transitioning and have still have male features. Only the ones that are fully transitioned and very feminine. It's like they are so feminine that they are willing to go to any effort to express their femininity, including facial feminization surgery. Yet I don't see the surgeries - I just see the feminine desire, energy and expression. If she still has a penis, I don't really see it a penis anymore. It's more like a feminine woman with a large clitoris. . . As well, there is something attractive about men with a lot of feminine energy, including some gay men. Yet I don't want to have physical sex with them.

@Aaron p Have you ever been in a dream in which you didn't realize you were dreaming? You wake up and realize "Oh, I was just dreaming". To the dream character, did the dream seem real? Of course. If the dream didn't seem real, there would be a realization "This is just a dream". Yet your dream character doesn't recognize this - it thinks everything is real. So now you think you are awake and not dreaming. How can you tell you are not dreaming? Anything you say can be part of a dream. You might say "But I can touch things". Can you touch things in a dream? Of course. . . "But how can Leo be posting videos?". Can Leo be posting videos in a dream? Of course. "But I can feel my body". Could there be a dream in which the body is felt? Of course. "But scientists show physical reality". Can there be a dream in which scientists are showing physical reality? Of course. . . And on and on. Anything you come up with for why waking life is real, you could dream tonight. Name one thing that is impossible to dream. There isn't anything. . . At this point, the duality between "dream/imagine vs. real/exist" collapses. You are creating a duality between "existence" and "non-existence". This is not the best way to frame it. Within this duality, you are forcing yourself to make a choice between existence or non-existence. A duality you are creating. If you can lucid dream - one good way to collapse this duality is to explore the lucid interfaces of dream/real. There are places in which one cannot tell if it is a lucid dream or not. At this point, everything becomes lucid and the dream vs. reality duality dissolves.

And which of those do you see as a "greater evil" than Trump?

@cle103 There seems to be two desires. One desire is to attain a state you have created called "ego death" and another desire to avoid this "ego death" state. It's a dualistic control issue. There will be internal conflict and resistance as long as there is an "ego death" vs "non-ego death" duality. At the deeper level there is transcendence of this duality.

Ime, there is a love connection of Now that transcends personality and life practicalities. A shared beingnessness together that is a type of magical Now. It cannot be created or denied. There is also a form of love connection that develops over time. This is within the personality dynamic and within a timeline. This development includes things like having shared experiences, being vulnerable and supportive to each other, developing trust, mutual support, getting to know each other, the five love languages etc. Both are important, yet there is a distinction. I've noticed a lot of people conflating the two. The love connection of Now may be present and confused for the developmental love connection that takes time. For example, after a first date in which a love connection of Now is present, someone may think afterwards "Wow, we had great chemistry. I think we are really compatible. It's like she knows me. I think she may be the one. I can see us in a long-term relationship". This is a contextualization of direct experience of Now. Similar to how the human mind will contextualize an awakening experience of Now "Wow, that seemed like a nondual experience. I think that is what the nondualists are talking about. I think I am awakening". . . There is awakening of Now and personal development within a timeline - yet these often get conflated. Human minds love to contextualize Now - it's just what we do and it has value - yet very few human minds are aware that this is occurring.

@Emerald You suggest attraction along a spectrum. For example, someone identifying as bi-sexual may roughly say they are 60% along the spectrum toward attraction to men. Do you think we can also create some type of spectrum for "attraction"? For example, sometimes I feel an attraction toward transgender women. It has a sexual attraction component involving a form of femininity, yet I don't desire to have physical sex with them. Yet it's not like a friend attraction either. Maybe like an energetic form of sex. It's hard to explain.