Forestluv

@Preety_India Stay strong. I've found no contact to be best. . . . The thing about people with narc/bpd traits. . . when they realize they can't get the ex back, they drop them and put their sites on the next one.

@Preety_India Be strong. . . . Based on what you've written about him, he may try to re-engage.

An oldie, but a goodie

"Does absolute mean every other possibility is Happening right now at the same time?" In absolute, how can there be an *other* possibility? *Other* relative to what? "Does absolute mean every other possibility is Happening right now at the same time?" In absolute, how can there be an *other* time? *Other* relative to when?

There is an underlying assumption here that there is an objective, universal truth. According to the Medium they are communicating with an individual spirit. . . so according to the Medium it is true they are communicating with an individual spirit. According to a nondualist, there is no Medium communicating to a separate individual spirit. . . so according to a nondualist it is true there is no Medium communicating to a separate individual spirit. We could add in: According to a scientist. . . According to a mystic. . . According to a Christian. . . According to a philosopher. . . According to a psychonaut. . . According to a metaphysicist. . . According to some dude I met at a concert. . . And on and on and on into infinity. . .

That is a big jump up in consciousness. The next step is to inquire about the *I* that has "zero control of thoughts". Who/what is this *I* that lacks control of thoughts? If *I* am not the thoughts that pop up, then who/what am *I*?

There have already been a few threads on this

We don’t need to realize. If we were at a magic show, it’s fun to be amazed by the magic. We may think “That’s amazing!! I wonder how the magic trick works!!”. That amazement and wonder is great. We don’t need to realize how the trick works. There is actually a price to pay for this realization. . . My apologies. I misinterpreted your intention ?

One way to look at experience is as a contextualization that is occurring now. In this regard, there are no experiences, just contextualizations we call “experiences” that are occurring now. There are an infinite number of contextualizations. Therefore Nothing/Everything is experience. To me, this seems like conflating representation and theory. But yea, you can create any definition of theory you want. It’s all relative. Transcend theory and find out for yourself. That’s the whole point. You cannot transcend theory by theorizing about transcending theory. You have to actually do it. This is all distraction and irrelevant. Cut out the middle men and realize the source for yourself. Rather than wasting time and effort worrying about others’ concepts of god, realize god for yourself. This is infinitesimal. It’s as if you are in room 227 and think it is the Grand Hotel. Unaware it is a room within the Grand Hotel. There is nothing wrong with theory or trying to make sense of things, it can be beautiful. Just like bird chirps can be beautiful. As well, theory can be very practical and useful. Yet to grasp theory is highly contracted. To be attached to theory is a mind wanting to control the narrative. There is expansion available you are not yet conscious of.

A babbling brook is an enlightened teacher.

The term "enlightenment" can be used in so many ways. I think the term can muddy the waters when talking about SD. There is an aspect of awakening/awareness expansion/enlightenment as we evolve up the spiral. There are sudden awakenings, yet also development that takes time and direct experience. As we evolve up the spiral, awareness becomes more and more meta. I think Leo describes this very well in the first hour of his "content and structure" video. For example, someone at a blue stage may have been raised and conditioned in a Christian environment. They attended church each week, they attended a religious school. Their identity and social group is Christian. They are immersed in the content of the religion. They are playing the role of a Christian character in their movie. Of course there are other religions, yet that is within the content of the movie. The person may think "I am Christian and this is the true word of god. That person in Muslim and is worshipping a false god. That person is atheist and lacks morality". This is all within the content of the "religious movie". . . Now this person may go to a University outside of their religious home environment. For the first time, they may be exposed to scientific explanations of evolution and how believing in an anthropomorphic god is irrational. They may take a religious studies course in which examines the structure of all religions and what they all have in common. The person may transcend their immersion of being a Christian and think "Wait a minute. . . If I grew up in the middle east, I'd probably be Muslim. If I grew up in India, I'd probably be Hindu. . . All religions have a common theme - a belief in an external being called god". . . Here, the identification to being a Christian is transcended and a meta awareness appears. This would be the transcendence of blue to orange. . . This person may now think "Wait a minute. . .If these are all just stories, how do I know which one is true? Or if any are true? Maybe they are all irrational is there is no god. Perhaps I should just try to live the best life I can and pursue my own goals without concern about a god". . . Now the person may identify as an atheist and a rational person. . . This sets up a new movie of content. The new movie is playing a character that is rational and knows that religious people are irrational and create gods for their own sense of security and comfort. . . This movie content can also be transcended. The person may realize "Wait a minute. . . isn't atheism a belief? A belief that I have no belief? Isn't rational thinking relative? How decides what is rational or irrational?". . . This can lead to another level of transcendence in which there is awareness that all perspectives are a relative lens. In terms of "faking it" - I would say a person at a transitional stage may have a desire to "fake it" to try and adopt the new transcendent identity. Here, the concept of "embodiment" comes into play. For example, a person may think "All perspectives are relative. I hold no perspective.". . . Yet this person is often arguing/debating about stuff. Here, they are attached/identified to a perspective and arguing for their perspective, yet is unaware of it. This will prevent exploration of perspectives and prevent integration, systems and holism. For example, someone may try and adopt an identity of "I'm color-blind. I don't see racial differences. I've transcended that". Yet the person may still have unconscious biases. The person may resist seeing, understanding and experiencing the perspective of someone from a marginalized group - such as a racial minority or transgender person. . . This person may cognitively believe that they are unbiased, yet have not embodied it.

I found no contact to be helpful to get distance . . Getting over the emotional bonding is the hardest part. It's not like the relationship and person is 100% bad and unhealthy. A portion of it was beautiful and loving - yet a small portion - maybe 10%. Overall, it was really unhealthy and I kept having to remind myself of that. . . I had a supportive friend I would call whenever I missed that small beautiful part of my ex. My friend was happy to remind me of her toxic side. . . The first month can be hard, yet then I found a lot of positives in being single for a while. I started taking care of myself and I grew a lot. I didn't realize how much the unhealthy relationship was holding me back.

@Preety_India There are some people on the forum that can be supportive. Also people in real life. People on the narcissist/bpd spectrum will try to maintain control during a breakup through a various forms of manipulation. When faced with a breakup they might temporarily concede and apologize or say they will change. Or they might get more aggressive. It can be a difficult process, especially when we have some caring feelings for a person. For example, I dated someone on the narcissist/bpd spectrum. She had some childhood abuse that I felt very empathic toward. When I tried to break up with her, she tried playing the victim and expressed how hurt she is, how old trauma is coming up, how she misses me, the good times we shared. This triggered my empathy for her. I really cared about her and really wanted to help her. She used this victim-helper dynamic to keep me close. Then when I kept my distance, she switched to aggressive tactics. Relationships are complex. There are various dynamics. Several people in my life told me she was unhealthy and I should leave her. Yet it's not so simple. For example, I learned a lot from her. It was my first inter-racial relationship and I learned so much about my own privilege, ethnicity and racism. Stuff I could not have learned through a textbook. As well, there was a type of magic between us that no one seemed to understand. When she was able to let go of her narcissist/bpd programming, our spirits connected and danced like I've never experienced. There was a realm of magnificent beauty we shared. This was most prominent with sexual activity. Her personality would dissolve and we would enter these beautiful realms. There were aspects of deep love and intimacy. Afterwards, we layed and listened to music and entered different realms - like a lucid dream. It was love. . . And then the narcissist/bpd programming would return. This was why I had such a hard time leaving. Below the narcissist, there was a beautiful connection, yet she couldn't go there and it was so hard for me to get her there. And I knew a lot of her narcissism was due to her upbringing and unhealthy relationships. She had inner demons and insecurities. I really wanted to help her with this, yet she would always get very defensive and blame everything on me. Or, she would go to the other extreme and say things like "I guess I'm just an awful gf. You should date someone better than me". . . So everything was either 100% my fault or she was 100% worthless. There was no in-between space. There was no space to say "There is an unhealthy dynamic between us. Let's both look at ourselves and our part in things and grow together.". I often asked that we each take 50% responsibility for an issue. Then I started saying I'll take 70% responsibility and asked her to take 30%. Then I offered to take 90%. Eventually, I said I'd take 99% responsibility and asked her for 1%. I asked her to acknowledge one single thing she has done to contribute to our tension. She couldn't do it. When pressed hard, she would collapse and say "You're right. It's all my fault. I'm a terrible gf. You should leave me". . . This is a really unhealthy way to communicate and prevents any growth as a couple. In regards to attraction: I tend to be on the more empathetic side. When I see a woman that is vulnerable and has been through abuse/trauma, it activates my empathic energy. There is an attraction. I open up and try to connect with the person and I often over-share. I want to help the person. Those with narcissistic tendencies can sense this and they will prey on it. At first, everything is pretty innocent. And then the manipulation and gas-lighting slowly appears. Yet it gradual enough that I didn't see the trap forming. The pattern is that I did something wrong, she is upset and it's my fault. As an empath, I feel her discomfort as if it was mine and I want harmony. I can't feel ok when she is distraught. So I accommodate and try to help to restore harmony. Yet the narcissist doesn't want to resolve conflict and harmony. They are oriented toward wanting conflict and dis-harmony. I'm oriented the opposite way. When I was younger, it didn't even cross my mind that someone would actually want conflict and dis-harmony. . . I was in a series of these relationships and eventually went meta. I was able to transcend it and see the dynamics between the two. . . Now, it is super easy for me to spot early on and I don't get involved.

It may seem hard to leave him now, yet it will get much harder if you marry him. Hw would have greater power and control and getting divorced will be much harder and require greater resources - mental, emotional and financial. You mentioned you’ve tried to break up and were unable to. I would seek support if possible - a friend, family or a psychologist/counselor. Someone who gives you support in the healthiest way to break up. After gaining some distance, I would do sone introspection into why I attracted such a person and why I stayed involved. I’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist/bpd and discovered there was a lot going on in me that caused me to get involved and participate in an unhealthy relationship.

Aren’t knowing and not knowing ideas? Are not ideas “things”? And don’t all things collapse into One Everything? In our room of One Everything/Nothing, it doesn’t matter if there is knowing or not knowing. There is One Everything. Thought, no thought, pencil, no pencil, knowing, no knowing, space kangaroo, no space kangaroo. There is no separation. No-thing to know or not know. One Everything.

@Cepzeu ?

If this is realized, what/why are we seeking?

For now, I would simple go for the facet of Nothing/Everything awakening. Adding in God realization to Nothing/Everything adds in variables. The mind has evolved and is conditioned to perceive separate things. It is conditions to form and perceive distinctions. There is nothing wrong with that - things and distinctions are cool too. . . Yet there is also the deconstruction of distinctions to One Nothing/Everything. . . Conceptually, image One Everything. Look around the room you are in. Imagine every thing in the room is One Everything (including you). . . Now point to one hint that isn’t the One Everything. You can’t. You would need to separate out a “thing” from One Everything. Yet there are no separate things in One Everything. It’s One Everything. So there is No-thing. There is No-thing to contrast Everything with. Thus, Everything = No-thing = Nothing. This is one way to approach it. The resistance of the mind will be: “But wait! There are things!”. Yes there are also things. The mind creates separate things from One Everything/Nothing. Psychedelics stimulate nondual awareness and can be helpful for this awakening.

If you want to invest more of yourself into the relationship, I would clearly communicate that this his behavior is a serious problem for you and the impact it has on you. And it’s not the type of relationship dynamic I want. I would be open to introspecting my part in the dynamic, yet it would be essential to me that they are willing to introspect, acknowledge their part and be willing to grow. For example they may say “I think you are being over sensitive, yet I can also see how I am being overly critical and I haven’t been doing it to make you feel bad.” Then perhaps they reflect on how their parents were overly critical to them and they developed the habit and want to change it. Or at a deeper level, they may reflect on their own insecurities. I would also look at myself. It’s shared introspection and growth. However if they got defensive, refused to introspect and put the blame on me . . . that would be a major red flag. That is a character deficiency that is toxic in a relationship. For example, if I got vulnerable and opened up about how this behavior is hurtful to me and they responded like “You are over sensitive. This is your issue. I’m just telling you the truth and if you can’t handle it, too bad. If you hadn’t gained weight, there wouldn’t be a problem.”. . . That’s a form of narcissism, lack of empathy and desire for control that creates toxicity. And I find it interesting that he wasn’t bothered by your slight weight gain until you told him about it. That is telling to me.

Threads merged. @Bryanbrax Please don’t start multiple threads on the same topic. Also it’s best to provide some context to threads/videos. For example, you posted a couple interesting videos about “paranormal” manifestations from yoga practice. Give us some context, we would like to know more about you. . . Why are you interested in the videos?

Based on how you asked the question, I would be cautious. This is a nuanced question with many variables. What is the baseline conscious level of the person? What is their experience with psychedelics? Are there psychiatric issues? Is medication involved? What are the dosages? How will the dosages be measured. What is the trip setting? Will there be a trip sitter? Has the person plugged before? It is high risk for newbies to jump into psychedelics and try taking three different psychedelics in three days.

Good point. If I may add in a bit. . . The transition into Tier2 is enormous and involves the dissolution of attachment and identity. There isn’t as much of a sense of “my perspective” and “your perspective”. And not so much debate of trying to show “my perspective” is better than “your perspective”. There are various perspectives floating around without a strong attachment/identification to a perspective as “me” or “mine”. Yet this doesn’t mean that yellow considers all perspectives to be equally relevant or valuable. In terms of hierarchies of worth, the personal aspect dissolves - yet there can still be a developmental hierarchy. For example, we could say that a 12th grade student is at a more advanced development stage than a 6th grade student. Yet this doesn’t mean we are making personal judgements of worth. We are not saying that a 12th grader is a better person than a 6th grader. . . . Similarly, we could say that a human is more evolved than a fish. Yet this doesn’t mean a human is better than a fish. It’s totally appropriate to be a fish when the environment is an ocean. In this environment, it’s actually better to be a fish.

@Nivsch Green is often unattractive to Orange. And yellow can appear as more attractive. Especially to intellectual/conceptual types. So when an Orange-centered person wants to expand, they will often want to bypass Green and go toward conceptual Yellow. They may take some intellectual interest in Green yet aren’t willing to do the work to embody green. This creates a poorly integrated yellow that tries to have an outside “meta view” yet doesn’t “get it”. They are in an academic/conceptual space lacking green embodiment and modes of being such as empathic abilities. There is often a green shadow. For those that have embodied green it’s easy to pick up on. Green isn’t just about conceptual theory. There are also deeper levels that come through practice, work and direct experience. This cannot be theorized it comes through direct experience. For someone cognitively based, I’d estimate at least a few thousand hours. I found direct experience through immersion in marginalized/stigmatized groups to be most beneficial. For example, I volunteered within a psychiatric hospital with patients for five years. I would sit and listen to them and learn. Yet not an theoretical type of learning. These were patients that attempted suicide, had psychosis and victims of domestic violence. There were times, I would get severe anxiety or feel psychosis. Some nights I had trouble sleeping. I started to “get them”, yet not intellectually. As well, I’ve worked with drug addicts and alcoholics. I’ve also lived in marginalized impoverished communities, such as a poor village in Honduras. There is no substitute for this type of direct experience. It’s is a not a conceptual form of understanding. It comes through direct experience, embodiment and skill development. It is a different type of “knowing” and it’s totally obvious when an Orange or poorly-integrated Yellow lacks this green-centered embodiment. To me, an integrated Yellow is the gold standard. That integration includes conceptual understanding, transcendence of self, meta awareness and green embodiment that came through a lot of direct experience and work. There are many flavors of poorly integrated yellow with green shadows.

@rnd If you are this concerned, I would recommend traveling with LSD or nothing at all. It is literally a tiny piece of paper. Every traveler carries paper. If you told an officer “I have a piece of paper in my bag”. He would be like “so what?, who cares?”. You would literally need to tell him that you are carrying LSD. Or, be so nervous that you raise suspicion. If you are this nervous, I would consider traveling to the country and getting a psychedelic there. For example, you can buy San Pedro in shops in Cusco, Peru.

Yes. I’ve traveled through customs. No one notice. Like I said, it’s hard to get caught with LSD. It’s a tiny piece of paper. You would need to try to get yourself caught. “Excuse me officer. Did you take a look at this scrap of paper? Maybe it’s not just paper. Maybe there is a drug on it. Perhaps you should test it for a drug that starts with “L” and ends with “D”. . . Or to be so nervous you panic. You would literally need to give yourself away. Research chemicals are practically as easy, because the amount needed is so small, we are talking milligrams. Five trips worth can fit into one tiny pill case, which can be mixed with other pills like allergy meds. To be discovered, you would need to act suspicious and give yourself away. Like being super anxious or nervous. . . “Hmmm, what’s going on with this guy that he is so nervous he is sweating, trembling and his voice is shaking?”. Custom officials are trained to detect suspicious behavior, not to detect a tiny scrap of paper.