Forestluv

Of course.

No. There are types of human connections that are not simply a matter of confidence and creativity. Confidence and creativity can assets or liabilities, depending on context.

Yes.

Yea, there is a type of sex that is hollow, unsatisfying and feels uncomfortably bad.

@LfcCharlie4 What LOC score does the highlighted section represent?

You’ve been previously warned not to post about irresponsible, attention-grabbing usage of psychedelics.

It sounds like you have it figured out and your view is working for you. That’s great and I wish you the best.

Because you have a narrow idea of sex and are unaware of certain aspects. These will be revealed when you start having sex. Yet if you simply want to copulate like mice do, it wouldn’t be an issue . To say that skills are involved in mouse sex would be kinda silly.

You are conflating confidence and skills. Fir example, I’ve never golfed before, yet I’ve watched a lot on TV. To me, it looks pretty simple. You just hit the ball toward the hole. Yet even if my confidence level was sky high, I would still not be able to shoot under par because I do not have the skills. Being under-confident or over-confident both cause problems when trying to develop skills. Skills are only one aspect of sex. There are many other aspects. For example, being genuine is a good trait. Also being adept at listening and responding to her cues during sex is a good trait - yet I would consider this a skill that develops over time. It is a different form of communication. There is no way to fake being good at oral sex - regardless of confidence level. That is like a beginning language learner with a lot of confidence. It will still be totally obvious they are a beginner. When I was younger, guys had the “alphabet method” to try and fake their way through oral sex. Yet once someone reaches intermediate stages, the method is a joke. It takes time and practice to develop skilled oral technique. Yet most guys don’t care about that. They are more interested in cutting to the chase and busting a nut. Having confidence is just one component. Curiosity, desire and willingness to improve are also really important. To me, it sounds like sex isn’t much more than a few pumps and a squirt for you. That’s fine, yet you would be missing out on a lot. As well, skill is only one component. If there is no chemistry and a woman feels uncomfortable, sexual skills will not compensate. Chemistry, connection and mutual trust are important components.

@cetus56 ❤️. Did you get to see him in person?

If your story of sex is working for you, I am happy for you ❤️ ?

@Javfly33 One practice I found helpful was to simply be “I AM” for a period each day. This can be during meditation, yoga, time in nature. In this practice, nothing is added to “I AM”. No “I Am this or that”, no “I Am is xyz”. Nothing added. Simply “I AMness” in meditation, yoga, nature. Perhaps an hour a day. Over time, the thought stories of “I Am” was reduced and the Beingness of “I AM” was increased. After a while the “I” in “I AMness” was dropped and there was simply “AMness” in presence.

I haven’t seen this particular story before (that sex involves no skill and is simply an act of inserting a penis into a vagina).

For sure. This is a bizarre one. I’ve never heard one quite like this before.

You are missing a lot. Human sexuality goes way beyond what you are aware of. You don’t seem open to learning via discussion. Thus, I would recommend having actual sex with another person. It would be very mind expanding for you. Or, if you are happy with the story you’ve created and you don’t want sex - then great. Enjoy.

Of course not. I learned it through practice during hundreds of sexual sessions over many years. When I first started, I was very unskilled. After years of practice, I am now highly skilled. There have been books written to develop these skills, yet practice is essential.

@the-philogynist You are not aware of what you are missing. I’m not sure why you have created a story that is so far off the mark. It has a couple similarities to the story I was given in a fundamental Catholic environment. I suppose if it gives you comfort it may serve a purpose. Yet if you want to become sexually active and good at sex, this story in your head is like chans that will hold you back.

You will not get a 100% safety guarantee with any drug.

You are missing out on a lot. You are referring to human sex as if it was dog sex in which an erect penis goes in and out of a vagina. Human sex is much much more than that. It’s not like hammering a nail into a walk. You are unable to imagine what actual sex with another person is like. You would need to get the experience to discover what we are talking about.

The same way you would get confused by trying to play a trumpet while thinking “I just need to blow though the hole”.

You seem to answer your own question. MDMA off the street is a dirty combination of various chemicals and not very safe. Clean MDMA is relatively safe, yet I wouldn’t be doing it every week. I would say LSD or shrooms is safer for more regular use. Yet there isn’t a consensus.

Simply not true. There are many many men that want sex and can’t get it. There are online forums filled with men unable to get sex trying to learn skills fir pick up. You are speaking about human sex as if it was dog sex. For humans, it is a lot more than simply sticking an erect penis in and out of a vagina. The best way yo learn is through experience. For example there are skills of oral sex that took me years to learn. These include tongue dexterity, tip of tongue vs flat edge, different pressures, usage of lips, labia or clitoris, motion style, rhythm, consistency vs variation, suction etc. It’s like playing a musical instrument. There have been books written to develop these skills. Yet you need to get in there and practice. I somewhat agree with your OP in that watching porn is NOT a good way to develop sexual skills. I would consider it counter-productive.

Incels are involuntarily celibate (in part because they lack skills). And if you’ve never had lame sex, good for you. A solo porn session with great imagination is much better than a lame one night stand without any substance and chemistry, ime. There are different skill levels with sex, just like there are different skill levels of athletes.

If that were true, there wouldn't be incels or lame sex.

Although I wasn’t actually climbing Mt Everest, scuba diving or trekking Nepal, the videos were super cool.