Forestluv

That is a standard label often put on psychedelic products. It’s to help maintain the “research chemicals” veneer.

People can respond differently to 5-meo, yet for me it’s not the best for de-conditioning / releasing trauma. It’s too transcendent to that personal stuff. On 5-meo, the personal story dissolves and there is no “me”. There is no more concern for “me” than a beetle caught in a rainstorm in Africa.

This thread has run its course.

Yes, that learning is can also be calked skill development. An experienced person lacks a move and learns a move during sex. He has now learned a new skill. Another analogy would be rolling a kayak in open water. It’s great to read the theory if the move, yet the only way to learn the move, it to get in a kayak, flip over under water and do the move until you roll back over. There is a specific way to position and move the hips and one needs to actually so it to learn it and develop that skill.

@the-philogynist You’re still not getting it. I’m NOT saying creativity isn’t an asset. I’m saying there is distinction between creativity and skill. A novice artist with lots of creativity can lack skills and need skill development. However, the artist’s creativity is super awesome. Similarly, creativity during sex is wonderful. I am not disagreeing you. You have repeatedly said all you need is confidence and creativity during sex. The vibe I’m getting is that there is an underlying feeling of insecurity of not being good enough in bed. Nearly all men experience this. Having confidence is great, yet confidence does compensate for lack of experience and skill development. By denying the existence of sexual skills, one can reduce the amount of personal anxiety. “I have no experience with sex, yet there are no skills needed in sex, so I’m ok”. This is fine to reduce anxiety and you may find a compatible woman that wants the same type of sex as you. I’ve had sex with inexperienced unskilled women as well as experienced skilled women. There is absolutely a difference. If your first sexual encounter was with an experienced woman, she will know that you are inexperienced and lack certain skills. Depending in the woman, you could still have a great sex session. Some women are turned on by teaching inexperienced men, other women would be disappointed, other women care more about a genuine emotional connection. Yet I guarantee you that a sexually experienced woman will now that you lack experience and certain skills. There is no way to fake your way through this with “confidence” and “creativity”. You wouldn’t be able to fake that you are a guy like in the porn videos. She will see / feel right through this and she would know. Yet guys tend to over-emphasize experience and skill - which causes anxiety. Being genuine, having emotional connection and caring about her pleasure is super important with many women. I’ve had sexual encounters in which we were both kinda fumbling around. Yet we were connected and exploring together. We weren’t trying to fake confidence like we were experienced. We were genuine, explored and practiced with each other. It was beautiful. It’s like creating art together. Two people don’t need to be skilled artists to have a wonderful time creating art together.

This seems to be conflating Absolute and relative. It is essentially saying “There is only Now (absolute). What would it mean if there wasn’t only Now (relative)”. In Absolute Now everything is Now. Similar to Absolute Infinity. Any thing is Absolute Infinity. Same for Absolute Love, Absolute perfection and so on.

You are missing the point. I have already mentioned skills, yet you are contracted within in particular view and lack experience. Thus, you keep dismissing everything to maintain your view. You are immersed in an illusion that you have it all figured out and no one here can penetrate that illusion. Only you can step out of it, yet you are not willing to do so. Perhaps you will be in the future, perhaps not. One skill of sexual intercourse with her in cowgirl would be how to position the pelvis to increase penile contact to the upper portion of the vaginal, while also maintaining intermittent contact with the clitoris. Yet this requires an extra stiff erection and a particular motion. One needs to know how much angle of leverage and distance is possible without popping out. As well, one needs to know how to position her pelvis. And the right amount of clitoral pressure via pelvis and how to supplement with fingers. This isn’t just about confidence or creativity. Like I said, a very confident, creative novice artist still has to learn skills. Of course this isn’t something that a person thinks and analyzes during sex. It is learned over time and becomes innate. As well, such skills are just one component of sex. There are other important components like chemistry and emotional connection. Two people with a deep emotional connection might not be scoring technical “10s”, yet have a deeply meaningful and satisfying sexual experience together. On the flip side, I’ve been with a couple gals that were highly skilled, yet there wasn’t chemistry and emotional connection. We were just going through the motions and there was a hollow feeling to it (although they taught me a few things that come in handy).

This is your relative meaning you are assigning. I’m not saying it isn’t true for you. It clearly is. You are resonating with something. The problem comes when a person conflates relative meaning as objective, universal meaning. As well, it is easy to conflate direct experience of eternal Now with a contextualized experience. Direct experience is occurring Now, what you are describing is contextualized experience from a construct of a “past”. People do this all the time, yet are unaware of what they are doing. Without this awareness, it is easy to get immersed into thinking the contextualized experience is the one true contextualization. This is part of the human experience. The lack of awareness can make it feel like the movie being created is real. This magic trick can be a lot of fun. It can also cause confusion and inner turmoil.

“Origin” assumes a timeline of past, present and future. There is an awakening of eternal Now in which there is no origin. As well, “origin” assumes subject-object separation in space. That a thing called god appeared and is separate from other things like you, me and a ham sandwich. There is also an awakening of Oneness in which there is no spatial separation. It’s a mystery in terms of intellectual constructs. It can be directly experienced in what’s called a mystical experience. Yet the mind often tries to contextualize trans-personal direct experience into personal experience.

The external research part is irrelevant. By accepting the meaning you read about, you are assigning meaning. Someone else could read the same thing and say it was meaningless. If a person reads a book on numerology and accepts the meaning portrayed in the book, that person is assigning meaning. There is no external, objective, universal meaning. You are assigning the meaning. Someone could easily answer your question by saying the repeating numbers are meaningless and consistent with a meaningless life. A person needs to add in meaning to create an inconsistency. It doesn’t matter if the meaning created was read in a book or spontaneously arose in your mind.

You are assigning meaning and then asking how it can be meaningless within a thought loop.

There is a thread for personal questions for Leo.

Ime, its more about attachment/identification to me/ego. There are appearances of thoughts that could be considered “me”, yet the level of attachment, identification and immersion into that “me” has greatly reduced, as has the associated pain and suffering (yet also transient self-centered highs). My body still feels feelings. The feelings are much purer to because there aren’t many thought stories of distraction. The mind and body are more in tune with feelings appearing now. As well, there is an energetic shift of feelings. More common feelings that appear are feelings of connection, curiosity, awe, empathy, peace and love. Less common feelings are insecurity, fear, jealousy, anger, self pity, resentment and hate. They may pop up occasionally, yet it doesn’t take long for those types of feelings to dissolve.

You are using the term “creative” as a euphemism for “skill”. One can be creative and lack skills. An novice artist that is creative still needs to develop skills to be a skilled artist. There are many styles, mediums, utensils, lighting, contrast, color, mood, etc. Similarly, a person can be creative during sex and unskilled. There are things one learns over time. I think you are putting way too much emphasis on “skills vs. no skills”. Technical skills are just one component. There are other components, like you say, creativity. As well, I would say something like being genuine and caring is more of a character trait than a skill. For some women, feeling a close connection and comfortable with each other are more important than technical skills. A guy could have great skills, yet if he finishes and then rolls over and starts snoring without caring about her organism and fulfillment, his skills are insufficient.

If you enjoy your view, I’m happy for you.

@the-philogynist I’m not telling you that you are “wrong”. I understand what you are saying. You are perceiving sex as a copulatory mechanism. That’s fine if you want to stay contracted within that construct. To me, that is a great construct for how mice, rabbits etc. have sex. A primordial limbic system driven activity. Yet it is a very limited and contraction of human sexuality. It’s not that you are wrong. What is being said is that you are very limited. Rather than seeing it as “complicated”, try to see it as limited. Imagine that you are in room 223 in a Grand Hotel and have never left room 223. To you, all that exists is room 223. When people tell you there is more than room 223, it is not over-complicating things - it is expansion. If you want to stay in room 223, that is totally fine. It is a fine room and some people want to spend their life in that room. There is nothing wrong with that. . . . Yet be aware that there is much more to explore that you are unaware of. Yet to expand, you would need to open the door to room 223, look and explore - which you are not interested in doing at this time. And that’s fine.

It’s not the simplicity of the description, it is the accuracy. Gender isn’t defined as where one wants to stick their sexual organs. That is a simplified description of sexual orientation, not gender. It would be like defining an athlete by their diet. Simple, yet inaccurate.

That is sexual attraction, which does not define gender. A lot of guys are highly contracted into views of sexual penetration and are missing a lot about human sexuality and gender. It goes way beyond penile penetration.

I would first recontextualize inquiry. Conceptualizing is great in a certain context. Yet so is playing soccer, climbing trees, painting and self-inquiry. These are just different states of being. The conceptual mode can often be a dominant force. At times the analytical mind can act like the drunken guy at the party that no one can get rid of. I imagine watching a beautiful sunset with my gf. She turns to me, gazing in my eyes and says “I’m so happy to be sharing this moment with you”. I then go into conceptual mode and ask her “Who is sharing? Who are you? Are you separate from me? The nondualists would say there is no “you”. That “you” is simply a construct of the mind. And what is a moment? To have a “moment”, we must create a timeline with a past and future, yet this timeline is just an artificial construct and in actuality, there are no moments.”. . . This would totally ruin the post-conceptual essence of sharing the sunset with her. . . Such occurrences go on and on. Last night I was hiking and sensed resonance with a tree. As soon as I started conceptualizing it, it was gone - in a flash. . . Once I got glimpses, of post-conceptual phenomena, I wanted more. Yet I needed to realize that conceptualization was getting in the way. Yet for me, trying to repress it created immersion into a conceptualization vs a non-conceptualization conflict. I found it much better to simply let go of it. The conceptualizing mind may through a fit and want to be the center of attention - just let it be in the noise in the background. Tell your mind that in this moment, we have bigger fish to fry. I find any practice that quiets the mind to be helpful. Yoga, time in nature, listening to nonduality speakers, meditation, sensory deprivation tanks etc. For example, while walking in nature the question “What is genuine?” may arise. Books and theory is unnecessary. It’s actually a distraction. Everything needed to inquire “What is genuine”, is all around me as I walk through nature. All I need to do is allow the conceptualizing thoughts to drift off into the background and observe what is right now. Various essences and insights will arise and then disappear. No grasping or attachment. Later that night, I return home and conceptualize for an hour or so, and that’s fine too.

@Romer02 You see to be oriented toward fulfilling your self wants, in particular sexual desires. You seem to be seeing her as an object of self gratification, rather than a human being with emotions. She is going through an emotionally distressing time in which she is vulnerable and you are calculating how to engage sexually with her. If you truly cared about her welfare, you wouldn’t try to take advantage of her in a vulnerable distressing time. As well, rebound relationships tend to be unhealthy and could ruin your friendship.

It’s a nice passage. What resource would you recommend to learn about the LOC model?

@Mindfang413 You often say that you are upset that there is no meaning. Yet is that what you are truly upset about? If I told you the word sezqwis has no meaning, would that make you upset? Of course not. If I told you that dirt has no meaning to rocks, would that upset you? Of course not. You don’t seem too upset that a man you’ve never met in Uruguay feels like his life lacks meaning. “No meaning” is upsetting when relative to me, me, me. Meaning keeps the “me” story going. Of course “me” will throw a hissy fit when it finds out the gig is up. Absence of meaning is an important realization to transcend the “me”. This is is a liberating process. All that meaning are chains that restrict and imprison You. Meaning can enslave You. However, that is not the meaning you give to meaning. You have created meaning such that no meaning means a terrible thing for “me”. If You realized absence of meaning freed you from a self prison, you would be joyful and celebrating.

It’s not something that can be figured out through thinking. It’s learned through experiencing a romantic/sexual relationship with another.

Some nice musings in the OP ?

That’s not been my experience. Confidence and creativity can be assets or liabilities, depending upon on context. And there are other important features as well.