Forestluv

In general, please don't start threads that are just a thread title with no context in the post. This forum is not a Quora style forum.

@Identity You've got me contemplating relative authority and absolute authority. . . Last week, I took my car to a mechanic. This guy has a ton of knowledge and experience with vehicular mechanics. He identified a problem with the exhaust system and knew exactly how to fix it. In a sense, he is a relative authority. He has developed knowledge and skill over many years of training. I believe and trust that he diagnosed the problem accurately. We could say that I create my own reality and I am creating a trustworthy mechanic who is an authority on the top. So, I am giving him my authority. . . Another person may be more cynical and get a very different vibe from this mechanic. They may think he is full of BS and just trying to rip people off. Yet I've had direct experience with another form of authority. While hiking in nature, the self dissolved and there was an essence revealed - the source of all sages, shamans, enlightened beings. The transcendent "I" is that source from which all expressions of the source arise. The transcendent "I" is Jesus, Buddha, The Dali Lama, shamans, mystics, Rupert Spira, Adyahanti and all others. "I" am that and so are "you". That form of Authority has a different essence than the relative authority of the mechanic. This form of meta authority creates all the sages, shamans, mystics etc. When I watch someone like Rupert Spira, he has a relative authority due to his decades of practice, understanding and skill. Yet he is also a creation of that transcendent source authority, of which we all have access to since we are all that source.

If you are channeling that through direct experience, you are accessing some high level mystical states. I spent 20 years meditating and didn't come close to the mysticism you are describing. The chemical combinations you are taking may be revealing natural abilities and granting access. For me, psychedelics increase my resonance and revealed paranormal abilities. Yet then we return to our baseline conscious level and try to "make sense" of the paranormal phenomena. This can be weird and scary to people that have no clue about the paranormal and mysticism. They may portray images that this is "abnormal", and you are "abnormal" and need to get "fixed". I'm not a psychiatrist, yet to me it seems like you have special abilities that seem odd and scary to others. Part of the mental instability may be due from others trying to alter your true nature. Imagine you had an opportunity to go on a retreat in Peru and spend a month with the highest level shaman's. You would be seen and accepted as a young man with abilities and you would have the opportunity to develop those abilities. You would be completely accepted in the community and everyone there would understand the mystical nature of your channeling. You would be a young mystic that gets to develop your natural abilities. Would something like that be appealing to you?. . . Since you keep returning to chemicals and mystical states, my hunch is that this would seem appealing to you. The states you seem to be accessing are higher than any verbal messages I can send to you. Realize that those states are one of the greatest teachers you can find. Be careful when giving authority to others, since you have access to higher authority. I have some mid-range paranormal abilities - here are a few things I've learned and suggestions. If they resonate with you great, if not - also great. Trust your intuition. 1. Psychedelics and weed can rocket consciousness up levels and amplify paranormal abilities. For example, psychedelics have amplified an empathic ability I have to full-on hyper-empathic master. When returning to baseline consciousness, this can be extremely unsettling. I don't know how to make sense of it, whether it is real, or whether I'm going crazy. I've had empathic communication with trees. This isn't the type of thing I can tell most people. They won't understand and will think I'm crazy. At first, I thought I was crazy. With time, I realized it's not crazy at all. I am not a psychiatrist and cannot diagnose you, yet it could be that some of what is being called "crazy" may actually be paranormal abilities. 2. I've learned to be careful who I share what with. I have found people that understand. For example, Reiki masters often "get" what I'm saying. As well, I've met a couple strong empaths online that have helped me work with these appearances and develop them. Yet I would not tell my family about it. I can only give a few hints like "I have a strong imagination". Or I may talk about lucid dreaming. They can handle that surface stuff. Yet they cannot handle the deeper stuff. So you might want to be careful about how much you share with others. To you, this channeling may seem like awesome insights - yet you have no idea how far away most people are from accessing and understanding this. You may want to find people in your community or online that have paranormal abilities. . . Yet be careful of charlatons that are fakers and would mislead or take advantage of you. And this is an important part: you know who the mystics and paranormals are if you are one. There is a "knowing" you can access, just like you "know" if someone can speak English because you are fluent in English. . . If someone tells me they have extra-sensory empathic abilities, I can tell immediately if the empathic resonance is there because I am on that frequency. If someone tells me they can see Auras, I cannot tell because I'm not on that frequency - yet there is still a connection since we both have paranormal abilities and we can freely share together. 3. The weed and psychedelics may be elevating your consciousness and amplifying your abilities. This can be good, yet I would be careful of downsides. Psychedelics can elevate a person from a stage 1 mystic apprentice to a stage 9 mystic master. This may take years of work without psychedelics, yet can be reached in a matter of hours with psychedelics. This can create an unstable dynamic - if you rocket up to stage 9 mysticism and return to stage 1 grounding - it can be unstable. I would consider investing in integration and development without the psychedelics. For me this kinda sucked. I was like a stage 9 magician with psychedelics and trying to develop the skills at my baseline consciousness. Perhaps see if you can access some of these states without psychedelics / weed or with a very low dose. You might only get 40% there, yet I found this really important. As well, you might want to read up online about mysticism or meet some people with paranormal abilities. Be mindful of how you resonate with them. If you have abilities, you already know - you just forgot. I would also be mindful of who you share this with. I would share it with people who "get it". 4. If possible, I would consider getting some distance from family and get into a new environment temporarily. Perhaps take a weekend trip away from it all. Perhaps in nature away from the negative energy. Even a day long retreat. Perhaps there is a day long yoga/mediation retreat in your area and you could tell parents that you just want to relax your mind for a day. At a day long yoga/mediation retreat, there will likely be people/teachers that have some spiritual/paranormal abilities. They would be much more open to discussing things like energetic flows and nonduality.

@capriciousduck The mind likes to create a "me" that is separate and independent from it's surroundings. It creates a "within me" that is separate from "outside me". For example, a mind may think "I am an independent thinker. I am not influenced by others". . . Yet this "within" and "outside" of me is a manufactured construct. Everything is an inter-connected whole. We make up distinctions. We can create a "me" that is separate from "them". Or we can create an inter-connected "us". At a collective conscious level, there is one inter-connected being. . . Take a walk in a forest. The mind can think "I am taking a walk in a forest" as if there is a "me" inside and a forest "outside". Or the mind can go to a collective conscious level in which everything is the forest. The idea that "who I AM" is dependent on my five closest friends. This has some aspects of a collective level, yet there is still separation. There is an inside "me" that is influenced by five of "them". This can have practical value at the personal level. From a personal perspective, if the five people I spend the most time with are influencing my development and personality, I may want to choose my best friends more carefully. This may be helpful in one's personal development, yet it is just scratching the surface. "I AM" is not dependent of five others, "I AM" is dependent on everything, since I AM is everything. In terms of people, we are all neurotransmitters to each other. With this realization, one's consciousness increases and they will be more aware of how one's subjective experience is related to what is happening "outside" me. Over time, this "inside vs outside" construct can dissolve.

@cetus56 Sometimes I like to take a shot on goal, even if it has a low chance of getting in. . . It's part of the sadness for me. It's like sitting with someone during a beautiful sunset and they are lost at sea grasping symbols. . .

@John Paul You are using vague measurements like "strong tab". A microdose is generally between 5-15ug. A standard dose is about 125ug. Yet if you are new to tripping, I would suggest the first trip be between 50-75ug. Everyone's sensitivity to psychedelics is different and trips will vary among people to due their genetics, karma, prior conditioning, mindset, setting etc. Thus, we generally give ranges of light, moderate and heavy doses. I would not be concerned about your "upper limit" at this time. You need to experimentally find that point. You could have a very strong trip at 125ug and think "There is no way I could go higher. That is my upper limit". Or you could be underwhelmed with 125ug and think "Is this all there is?". You would need to find out. I would say 200ug is a very strong dose for most people and most would not need to go higher than this for a strong non-dual trip. Yet for many people this dosage could be counter-productive and even traumatic. Some psychonauts have gone into the 400ug+ range, yet I think they likely have a naturally high tolerance, had residual tolerance from previous trips. Regardless, such high dosages have risks and it would be extremely difficult to integrate. Two day breaks between microdosing is fine. Two weeks breaks between regular trips is fine. Two days between a microdose and regular trip is fine. However, there are exceptions. For you, three day breaks may be best. As well, I would not create a hard schedule of tripping every two weeks. Just see how it goes and how your mind-body respond. You may feel a calling to trip again in two weeks. Or maybe not. In general, full trips every two weeks is a lot for a newbie to handle. It takes time to integrate realizations and tripping every two weeks may lose the "magic" or may be unsustainable due to intensity. Also, I would strongly recommend having integration practices. I would dedicate about 1hr of integration for each hour of tripping. So, 8 hours of integration for an 8 hour trip. This integration time can be meditation, journaling, inquiry, walks in nature etc.

Both of those beginnings are arbitrary. Pregnancy lasts about 40 weeks, so cut that in half to 20 weeks as an arbitrary midway compromise. As someone said earlier, about 75% of the population would support a 20 week compromise. 75% support is a good level for compromise.

@Hermetics You are perceiving through a lens that there is objective, external, universal reality based on physical evidence. There is nothing wrong with this. It has truth from one perspective and it has practical value. Yet it is contracted within something more expansive. There are beings on the forum that have transcended the paradigm of an objective, external, universal reality. There is something you are not aware of that others here are. The self can become attached and identified to a particular paradigm and will defend it for it's own survival. If you would like to expand your consciousness, you will need to let go of attachment and identification to your ideas. This does not mean you need to reject your ideas and accept the opposite of your ideas. It means you need to let go of them if you want to explore and expand. Each, both and neither are true and false. If you want to expand, I would meditate and inquire "what is existence?", "what is real and what is imagined?". Inquire without thought analysis. Don't try to figure it out. Let insights reveal themselves.

Of course. Any timepoint is arbitrary because "life" is a human construct and there is no beginning to "life". Pro-lifers are in the same boat as Pro-choicers. Pro-lifers cannot state an exact timepoint in which "life" begins. Setting a threshold of 20 weeks is not acknowledging that "life begins at 21 weeks". That is a story you are creating in your mind. I would be ok with a 20 week limit, yet I do not believe that "life" begins at 21 weeks. You, me, pro-choicers, pro-lifers cannot give an objective point of when "life" begins because there is no objective beginning. It is made up and arbitrary. Yet even arbitrary decisions can have practical value - in this case, making up an arbitrary time limit can reduce a lot of conflict. As well, the definition of what counts as "life" is also biased and arbitrary. If we closely inspect any definition of life, there will be biases, internal inconsistencies and arbitrariness. The same goes for why humans deserve a "right to life" and not primates and other animals.

In terms of SD, evolve from Tier 1 to Tier 2. . . The mind likes to create separation of a "me" and "them". That "I" am at a "higher" conscious state than "you". One way to help dissolve the "me" and "you" separation. . . I imagine back when you were at a "lower" conscious level. A time in which you were struggling within this lower conscious level, Perhaps you beat yourself up with self criticism. Perhaps there were times when you lashed out at others. Now imagine your current higher conscious self visiting that lower conscious self that is struggling and suffering. Would you approach your previous lower conscious self with annoyance and frustration? Or would you approach your previous lower conscious self with love and compassion? For me, it is a short putt. I can easily imagine my previous lower conscious self that was struggling and suffering. I feel empathy, compassion and love for him. When I see other "low conscious" people, I usually don't get triggered. They are a reflection of me. I know what they are going through. Yet that doesn't mean I need to engage. I would consider a couple of my co-workers to be "low conscious" that want to instigate conflict. I understand their inner turmoil that they are hiding, because I've had that inner turmoil. All the fears, insecurities, not being good enough, needing to be right, needing to be better, needing approval, being sarcastic, being a jackass. I know what that is like and I can be gentle - for short periods of time. I would not date such a person and I would not go on a camping trip with such a person. That is too much. As well, each low conscious person is perfect how they are. Imagine a low conscious person in your life. . . If we were to make a movie of your life, who better to play that low conscious character than themself. They are perfect for the role!

Infinity is Everything. The is no content within infinity. All content is infinity. Everything. All concepts, all things, all physical, all non-physical, all ideas, all dimensions. There are an infinite number of dimensions. To me, the deeper questions to inquire is "what is existence?", "what is 'real' and what is 'imagined?'". From my pov, there seems to be an assumption that there is a way to objectively determine if something is "real" - if something "really exists". This is the deeper realization breakthrough, imo. You are already starting to break down the "real vs imagined" duality by experiencing and contemplating grey areas. For example, you say "Dreams kinda feel like different dimensions". This is important to break down the duality that a thing "a dream dimension" is either real or imagined. Your experience is that is feels kinda real. That is a big step to dissolve the real vs imagined duality. As well, you say it feels kinda real. You didn't say "According to my analysis, I think it is kinda real". There are modes of being that resonate with other "dimensions", that are not based on thought stories. The thought stories can be blocks. For example, I was dark hiking in the woods last night and "felt" a presence. It wasn't quite a feeling, yet much closer to a feeling than a thought. Some people don't want to explore these dimensions. They find them disturbing and don't want to engage. Yet if you want to explore them and develop these abilities, transcending the analytical thought stories is really important. For example, when I felt the presence my first response was not to let go and flow with the presence. My first response was thinking "What was that? Was that a spirit? Was that real or just my imagination?". Once these thoughts come in to figure it out, it is lost. The resonance with the presence is not a "figure it out" kind of thing. It is a different mode of being. As soon as I start thinking about it, I lose it. This goes for all paranormal activities. To explore them and develop the skills, I need to let go of analytical thoughts. One key for me to do this is to let go of what is "real vs. imagined". The "real vs imagined" duality can be helpful when I am at work interacting with my co-workers who live in a dualistic "real vs imagined" world. Yet this duality is not helpful when I am exploring dimensions and modes of being beyond constructs of "real vs imagined".

Habits of behavior can become deeply ingrained into our mind and body. The can cause so much distress and negatively impact our lives that we reach a breaking point and say "Never Again!!". For some, this moment may have sufficient power to cause permanent change. For example, I used to chew tobacco several times a day. I got to the point that I was facing surgery and facial reconstruction. Not in an abstract way. The actuality of sitting in dentist offices discussing my surgery options. This had an enormous impact on me and I never chewed tobacco again - in spite of how addictive it was. If the negative consequences as so extreme, some people can quit cold turkey. They just stop. Yet other habit and addictions aren't simply "Never Again". I've had many issues with various habits and addictions I wanted to change. Only the one I mentioned about was "Never Again". Every other habit / addiction had an "again". One thing I learned is that "Never Again" can provide short-term motivation, yet it also creates a strong dynamic of conflict opposition. In this case: I either quit porn 100% and get on the right path or I don't quit porn 100% and I stay on the wrong path. In a sense this is good, yet it a sense it is not. It sets the person up for a continuing cycle of "being good" and "being bad". This new cycle can be very hard to overcome. . . However, moderation has it's problems too. I may say "I will only fap twice a week" or "I will no longer watch porn while fapping". I would say the moderation path is best. If one can moderate themselves and create new less intense habits, that is great progress. However, with strong habits / addictions, it can be very hard to moderate. For many people, they can moderate for a week or so and then revert to previous habits. When trying to change a habit, this is what works best for me. If I reach a "Never Again" moment of desperation, I will use that energy. I will actually intensify the energy. For example, I will write in a journal all the negative consequences excessive fapping and porn are having in my life. As well, I will write out all the benefits I will gain by reducing or discontinuing fapping/porn. I would also not get to attached to the absolute of "Never Again". That puts an immense amount of pressure and stress on me - I don't like living like that. I need to remember that I am choosing to discontinue a harmful dynamic to take care of my mind and body. Nobody is forcing me to do this. . . I would then: 1) Set up short-term commitments that are attainable. "I will Never Fap Again" is too ambiguous. The most important thing is to get distance from the habit and allow space from it. Saying "I will never fap again" out of frustration does nothing to promote space. If I was fapping multiple times per day, I would set a firm commitment that I would not fap for 1 week. This may be difficult, yet it is attainable. If I couldn't do it, I would fap with the least amount of impact possible. For example, no porn. Just imagining being with a woman I love. And I wouldn't beat myself up. Don't continue the guilt / shame cycle. If I went from fapping to porn 10X per week with level 8 neurosis and had a week fapping without porn 2X in a week - it is progress and space. The most important thing is to get distance from the intensity of the mind-body pattern. 2) It may be helpful to set up a support group with guys who have worked through this. I would pick a group that was very positive about the benefits and were not extreme. E.g. I wouldn't associate with people that demonized fapping as immoral or bad or judged people that relapsed or moderated to be failures. A support group can be helpful to get through dynamics that seem to possess us. When I quit chewing tobacco, I participated in an online forum. It was helpful to me and after I had a month or so without chewing, I was able to help newbies trying to kick the habit. However, I would not get so immersed into the group that my new identity became "a fapper or no-fapper". This can turn into a trap. The long-term goal is to become free of porn and fapping addiction such that it is no longer an issue in your life. You are not a "non-fapper". We want to be free of the dynamic so it is a non-issue and we can do other things in life. For example, I don't identify as a "non-chewer" or "recovering chewer". It is a non-issue in my life. I no longer think about it in my life. 3) Create a new habit to help recondition the mind. Quitting a strong habit can create a void in one's life. Fill that void with something healthy and positive. For example, perhaps the energy of sexual urges can get re-oriented toward something healthy like lifting weights, running or yoga. Start a new healthy habit. Also, one could start looking into the underlying issues that have led to this habit and how to form healthy relationships. For example, if someone wants to quit the habit of smoking weed every night. They may need to look into the underlying reasons. Am I smoking every night to escape an uncomfortable Now? Am I smoking every night to quiet a worrisome mind so I can sleep? Those types of issues may need to be addressed to successfully reduce or discontinue the habit. 4) Have a plan for when ocd / physical urges to fap arise. These thoughts and feelings can be overwhelming and the mind-body just wants relief from these urges. What will you do when these feelings arise? How can you re-orient yourself? Perhaps meditate or yoga and be with the urges. Or go out into nature - perhaps that will find relief. 5) Appreciate the small gaps of "freedom". When I first stopped chewing tobacco, my mind and body was craving 100% of the day. Each day, thousands of thoughts and cravings arose. I didn't think it would ever go away. I thought I can't live like this. I wanted relief sooo badly - every day all day. I could barley function in life. Then after about 2 weeks, there was a glimpse of freedom. I was walking in the woods and realized I went about 5 minutes without thinking about or craving chewing tobacco. This was a gamechanger. I now realized that when the ocd/cravings return, they may leave - I just needed to wait it out. Sure enough, as time went on the gaps of freedom got longer as I got distance. I remember going a whole hour without thinking/craving tobacco. I remember the first full day I went without a single thought of tobacco. This gave me lots of joy, hope and motivation. . . The dynamic with fapping is a bit different because there is no "outside" substance and sexuality is a core component of who we are as humans. Part of being a male is that hormones are released that are associated with sexual desires. So you can't really change that. Yet you can change your relationship with your sexuality such that it is free of disturbing associations with porn. . . If you have gaps in your day in which you are not thinking or craving fapping, appreciate those periods and know that you can stretch out those periods of time as you get distance from excessive fapping/porn.

@Erixoon50 I have a similar issue with static meditation postures causing stress to joints. I no longer have the "no pain, no gain" mindset or that the physical pain is part of the meditation exercise (e.g. surrender to the physical pain). There may be some truth to that in small doses, yet I'm just not into physical pain over extended periods that starts to harm the body. I'm more into taking care of my body. One thing I found helpful was to get a variety of sitting objects. I have a low zafu, higher blocks and a chair. For my practice, it is important that I am not constantly fidgeting for the perfect comfortable posture to relieve minor aches and pains. Yet, I will shift my body when the pain starts to become sharp or strong tingly sensations. Another thing I found helpful is yin yoga. Traditional meditation has one static posture for around 20-60 minutes. Yin yoga shifts positions every 5 min or so. This allows for a more balanced distribution of stress to the body. And the positions are held long enough that one still needs to surrender the monkey mind and go into deep meditative states. Most importantly to me, is that yin yoga is actually good for the body. Rather than causing harmful stress to the body via extended sitting, I am doing something good for my body. Yin yoga is a deeper level then muscle stretching. It gets into the ligaments, tendons and fascia. It would probably help your back condition. As well, it allows deeper and deeper surrender and relaxation - both physically and mentally. It also allows for subconscious issues to arise as well as insights and realizations. These days, I rarely do formal static sitting meditation over extended time. About 90% of my meditation practice is yin yoga and 10% kriya yoga - my mind and body feels sooo much better. Yet just like traditional meditation, yin and kriya yoga involve intention and effort. If I do yin yoga with a TV show on it the background and I'm immersed in thought stories - it defeats half the purpose. Then it is simply stretching without the meditative benefit.

University level. Mostly 19-23 yo

@AlphaAbundance It’s not linear. There are many variables that influence one’s relationship with psychedelics. Genetics, karma, early childhood conditioning, life history, sensitivity level etc. I would probably start with a standard psychedelic lije shrooms or lsd to get a feel for what will subjectively feel lije radically altered states of consciousness. See how it goes and go from there. You can’t plan it like planning for weight lifting. With psychedelics, more is revealed as you go. A lot more revealed. Then you go with the flow. . . Yet I would start off planning to have at least three trips and I would make the first trip a low to moderate dose.

That is beautifully written. Did you write it? Or Jim Carey? Yet without the direct experience, it might seem like it came from a madman.

The author makes some common points about "truth". In particular that some teachers claim they know truth and think they know it all. This gets into nuances with relative and absolute truths. Depending on context, sometimes it is helpful to highlight the relativity of what is being taught - other times, it is best to teach it *as if* it were actually true. For example, when I teach genetics I often say at the start of the course that the science of genetics is one relative perspective that creates physical maps. These physical maps can be integrated with other maps, including metaphyscial maps - and that the maps are not the territory. . . Then I teach the course as if the material was based on objective reality. If I kept entering relative or nondual dimensions it would create a groundless mess. "OK, here is the structure of DNA - yet it is only a map of something that doesn't really exist. Well, it exists from one perspective, yet not from another. We create existence and are just portraying everything we experience. Everything about chromosomal structure is both true and false. In a way, I don't know anything and everything I teach you is a lie.". This might be ok in a course on the existentialism of science, yet it would be terrible in a scientific course on genetics. It's best to teach it like "This is how it is.". Teaching with confidence, clarity and groundedness is really important at times. . . Other times, I throw in some relativism, nonduality and metaphysics - yet I do so sparingly. There is an energetic difference between a teacher that teaches as if it is true, vs. a teacher that believes it is true and is attached / identified to a story of truth. A teacher that holds ideas loosely without attachment/identification has much more expansion potential. I could teach a class on genetics as if it is fact to give a sense of grounding for the students to stand on. If a student came to me asking metaphysical questions about evolution, I could drop the physical story of genetics and go into a nonphysical realm and talk about energetics, Reiki, karma, past lives etc. Or we could integrate science and metaphysics. On a metaphysical level, there is also a "knowing" that comes prior to physical evidence. For example, through direct experience, you "know" now is now. You don't need any evidence to confirm to you that now is not yesterday or tomorrow. This can come across as being arrogant and closed-minded to others that have not had the direct experience and realization.

Based on the video, do you have more desire for casual sex or are you resonating more toward sacred union? That could affect how you approach dating.

@mkrksms Healthy open/poly relationships require maturity and good communication - just like monogamous relationships. “Open/poly relationship” can be code for “I want to keep my options open and still keep you around”. This is not a healthy dynamic for me. I’m naturally oriented toward mongamy, yet I’m open to “monogamish” relationships if there is meaning, good communication and a sense that we are doing it together. From what you describe, it sounds like he is into you enough that he wants to keep you around, yet not interested enough to put effort into your relationship. It sounds like you are more oriented toward monogamy and commitment. The distress is spilling out to other parts of your life. He doesn’t sound like a good fit for you. From his view, he has a primary relationship and you as his secondary - and you aren’t dating anyone else. That is a pretty good setup for him. . . If the situation was reversed I doubt he would be content.

@jack34 I would let go of future thinking and engage more in what is actually happen now. It seems like there is something about you she likes and your shyness hasn’t been a problem. Perhaps she is curious and kinda likes the shyness. Some women do and are turned off by aggressive guys trying to game them. I wouldn’t try to be something I’m not. In this case an outgoing guy that tries to act confident - that could be a turn off. Yet if I was interested in her, I would not stay in my shell and have her do all the reaching out. She will eventually get bored. Imagine watching a movie of a shy gal that intrigues you. You are curious and want to learn more about her, yet the movie gies on and on without any progress. Eventually, you will get bored with the movie. I would step into my discomfort zone a bit in an effort to connect with her. I would be genuine and have no expectations. Maybe if you learn about each other, you will like each other, or maybe not. I’m ok with either. The worse scenario for me is doing nothing due to fear and missing out. . . Looking back a year later thinking “I wonder what could have happened if I had tried to connect with her”. If I wanted to know if she liked me, I would put my feelers out while still staying grounded and not going out on a limb. On a Monday, you could ask her what her favorite part if her weekend was. Notice if she seems interested in sharing it with you. If she is acting polite, checking her phone and trying to get away - not interested. If she is engaged and asks a question about you, thats a sign of interest. If you have something in common, like similar music, you could say “wow, it would be fun to go to a concert together” (or whatever your common interest is - movies, games, hiking - whatever). It’s an easy way to get a feel for interest while still allowing you to maintain a level of shyness. Watch how she responds. If she smiles and says somethIng like “yea, that would be fun”, then she is opening the door. You could take it one step forward and and ask her if she would like to do xyz this weekend (whatever the common interest is). Or you could say “Great. I could look into something. How about we exchange numbers to jeep in touch”. . . But since she has been approaching you, you can let it lie for now and advance the next time you see her. Then start thinking about planning xyz. The next time you see her, you can say “Hey, I noticed that xyz band is playing at the abc cafe this weekend. Would you like to go?”. At the very least, I would start to find out about your common interests. She may mention she likes art. Then look for art galleries and exhibits in town. Then text something like “You mentioned you like art and I noticed a Monet exhibit in town this weekend. Would you like to go?”. If she says yes, she is obviously interested in spending time with you and learning more about you. Yet it doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to have sex and start a long-term relationship with you. Maybe, maybe not.

@7thLetter You could make weight-lifting and physical fitness a spiritual practice.

I would accept that the direct experience is more important than trying to figure it out via thinking. I would also let go of how a nondual experience should be like, or expecting that life will be in some sort of nondual awareness all day. I've dropped the categories of dual and nondual. From a subjective experience, I flow through dual, partially nondual and deeply nondual states each day. Yet I don't "check in" on my "nondual status". I don't stop and think "where am I on the nondual scale? Am I at a 2 or 4 right now?". . . Yet in the beginning, I think it's helpful to think of dual and nondual along a spectrum. Having a binary construct of "I am either 100% One or 100% Separate" is counter-productive in my experience. I would think of it more in degrees. My approach would depend on context. For me, psychedelics are the #1 way for me to dissolve the subjective sense of separation and enter nondual states. Other people may resonate differently, yet for me, I am nearly guaranteed to have nondual features on a trip. They also helped me enter these states easier while sober and how to recognize them. While sober, part of the difficulty is letting go into it. The mind may think "Is this how it's supposed to be? I still feel separate. That thing over there isn't me". Psychedelics can dissolve that chatterbox. Without psychedelics, here are a few things that have helped me. You mentioned that sounds seem like "outside" of you and thoughts seem "inside" you. This has been a great area for me to explore. The "outside / inside" of sound is much easier to explore than vision. You say that sound appears "outside" of you. Let go of that idea, because it's not always true. You can find this out in 1 minute. Put on a pair of headphones and close your eyes. Voila! The sound seems inside your head! Listen to something like simple nature sounds with some bird chirps. It is easy to imagine those bird chirps inside your head. Inside the same head as your thoughts. Or, close your eyes and imagine your space of awareness going beyond your skull. With nature sounds and headphones, it is pretty easy to imagine. The next sound exercise is a bit more challenging, yet it is pretty easy to get. With a speakers, play some white noise - I like 10,000 HZ. I use multiple speakers around me to make it harder to locate. With multiple speakers, it is not that easy to locate the exact position of the outside source of the sound, since the sound is diffuse, uniform and coming from multiple directions. I can locate the source, yet it takes some effort. . . I close my eyes, meditate and let go of trying to locate the source. For me, it's not that hard. Then, I can drift into a space in which inside vs. outside starts to dissolve and I'm floating around in white noise. The next exercise is the most challenging. I close my eyes and meditate with some natural sounds outside of me. I like nature sounds. I avoid doing this with humans around. . . Notice how the sounds appear "outside" your head. This is a strong outside sensation and will be much more challenging than the headphones or white noise exercise. . . First, I go into as much outside resolution as possible - I go to the the limits of my outside locating ability. Bird chirps are my favorite. I try to determine exactly where outside the sound is. Exactly how far is it from me? How high up is the sound? What position is it? I try to determine the exact location - such that if I open my eyes I will be directly looking at that bird, in focus. . . I notice how I am imagining this outside space. There is a strong sensation that the outside space with sound is really there, yet it is being imagined as "outside" from "within". This imagination of outside is extremely convincing. . . One thing I discovered is that the auditory system is very good at locating in outside space. Our auditory system has gone through billions of years of evolution and the ability of the brain to locate outside sound is very important for the survival of the species. Overcoming this isn't easy, yet we can do it. We did it with the headphones and white noise, we can do it here. . . There is a shift in consciousness in which the "outside" location of the sounds can ease up. There are glimpses of the sounds appearing "inside" my head, such that there is no difference between inside or outside. Yet my mind will flip back to the sounds being outside. Or there will be a sensation that the boundaries of my head dissolve. Either way, the sensation is that the inside and outside sounds are sharing the same space. . . Then things get fun. Bird chirps start interacting with thoughts in the same space. . . it gets trippy even while sober.

Your post made my day better. Thanks.

@King Merk You have multiple forms of separation including subject-object, spatial and temporal. For example, you’ve created a thing called a “thought” that came from a place not here to a your brain place here in time. Then the thought thing goes from your here to another place not here in time. At a metaphysical level, it seems mysterious to me. I have observed my thoughts appear and disappear. One of my meditations is to sit with a thoughtless mind and observe the first thought to arise. To my observation, it simply appears Here and Now. “From where “ the thoughts arise from is a mystery. On a physical level, we could investigate locations of the brain and neurotransmitters. On a metaphysical level we could inquire. Perhaps realization will arise. When awareness observes thoughts without attachment/identification, interesting things are revealed. For example, I notice the inter-connectedness between thought and not/thought. The interconnectedness between thought, feelings, happenings and time is amazing. For example, yesterday I was on an airplane and noticed a teenager wearing a Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon T-shirt. I thought about how I grew up with Pink Floyd Music in the 1980s and I thought about how cool it was that Pink Floyd music has continued into the consciousness of younger generations. Then I thought about times I listened to Pink Floyd when I was young. I felt happy and nostalgic. This is all inter-connected. The happenings of “past” and “present”. Memories, Pink Floyd T-shit, thought and feelings. As the young man and I walked toward baggage claim, there was an old musician in the airport playing Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here”. I thought about how yesterday my sister, nieces and I had a discussion about Synchronicities and Coincidences. I asked myself “Is these Pink Floyd happenings synchronicity or coincidence?”. I then thought “It doesn’t matter”. I smiled and started singing “Wish You Were Here” in my head. It is all inter-related. There is no “me” sitting “inside” my head that is separate from my “outside” surroundings. It’s all inter-connected in an amazing collective consciousness. Sometimes I want to figure out the mechanics of it. Other times I just want to be it.

@eputkonen Understanding vs non-understanding is a duality ? It seems like you have an understanding of something to be understood. If that is the case and it is helpful to you, great - I am happy for you ? I’m not saying you are right or wrong, or that you understand or misunderstand.