Forestluv

In 300 years there will be a new method. Perhaps an AI Insta-Quant that has the power of 100 psychedelic trips. Some will say trying to attain states through a magic bullet like the Insta-Quant is bound to backfire since trying to expedite the process does not allow true wisdom. To learn the ins and outs of wisdom, someone should take the slow path of psychedelics over a year. Taking a year may seem like an eternity compared to the Insta-Quant, yet the slow path of psychedelics allows one to accumulate nuggets of wisdom as they trudge up to the mountain top.

Thank you for your critical feedback and kind words. It's good to hear people are benefiting from the forum.

If you had, you would understand what I'm writing. I tried my best, yet I've got to move on now. Have a good night, SOUL.

@SOUL I'm not saying you are wrong. You are explaining some deep insights that can be helpful to people. I'm not arguing with that. However, it's like you keep talking about Paris and can't see that Paris is within Europe. . . Paris is a wonderful city. I wish everyone could visit. And I think it's awesome to help people find Paris. You are using the term "liberation" in a particular context. Notice you keep saying "Liberation is. . . ", "In liberation we do this.. . . ", "Liberation involves. . . ". Those are great constructs that can be very helpful to people at a personal/human level. I am not talking about personal development or life purpose. Those are Tinker Toys compared to what I'm talking about. I am talking about something much more transcendent to that. It is transpersonal and transhuman. Just as you desire to show a transcendent liberated state to those that suffer, there is a wanting to show a transcendent state to those that have reached your transcendent state. It is not within the state of liberation you are describing (such as life purpose), it is transcendent to the state of liberation you are describing. Yet you don't have any resonance with this, which is fine.

It sounds like you have attained a wonderful state of continuous being. Yet there is more that hasn't been revealed. What you are describing is a state that is not another state. Cessation of self suffering and nirvana is wonderful. I have visited that place for an extended period and it was awesome. I still re-visit that place at times. . . . Like you, I wish more beings can experience it. I'm not saying it isn't real. I'm not saying it isn't a profound realization. I'm saying it gets even more expansive than that contraction. . . You say you are in a continuous blissful space and that's awesome if that's what you want. Yet it is misleading to say that that space is "it". It may be "it" for you, it may be "it" for people seeking relief from discomfort, it may be "it" for people seeking nirvana. Awesome man. Thumbs up. High Five. . . Yet that is still a space that is not another space. . . Each time you say "this is it", that is a contraction - it is simultaneously saying "this is not that". You are missing a lot, yet it doesn't matter if you don't care. You are in your permanent blissful state - super duper - hang out there and enjoy it. To go to a deeper level of liberation, you would need to leave your current space of what you define as "liberation" and enter a space you would define as "non-liberation" and realize the deeper transcendent liberation in both. Yet you don't think this is possible and you have no curiosity, openness or willingness to explore. That's fine if you want to stay within what you define as "liberation". When you wrote "liberation is liberation", you are a half-step to another transcendence. Yet when you claim "liberation is the cessation of self suffering", you contracted back.

That is one way of looking at it, which is partially true,. Yet, notice how there is a destination in the future (a place not Here or Now in which the work stops). Saying "the work continues within a timeline" and saying the "work ends within a timeline", both involve a timeline in a relative context. They are both partially true and partially false. The phrase "the work ends within a timeline" is misleading because in the relative context of a being within a timeline, growth is infinite. In Absolute Now, it makes no difference if there is work, no work, suffering, no suffering, bliss, anxiety, tuna fish sandwiches or bird chirps. . . Yet it would also be misleading to say "it's just Here and Now". In a sense this is true, yet it is misleading because it will be interpreted by a seeker as "I don't need to do any work. There is no destination. I have already arrived. I can sit around, play video games and be lazy. Nothing matters". The problem with that is it's an intellectual construct without the underlying awakening. It is still a contraction within a self construct. I AM Perfect Now and i am a work in progress. . . there is an infinite amount of work and growth in a relative context. It's also misleading to say that Absolute Freedom is a place of abiding bliss, because that means Absolute Freedom is not a place of discomfort. Absolute Freedom is eternally present unconditionally. It is present during bliss, pain, love, terror, boredom, self-centered thoughts, peace etc. There is a relative freedom of bliss (relative to non-bliss) and there is a relative peace (relative to non-peace). As a relative experience, I've been through extended periods of continuous freedom, joy, bliss, peace etc,. - those are wonderful states - it is not "bad" or "wrong". Yet they are relative states (relative to non-freedom, non-joy, non-bliss, non-peace). A human can see such states in others and it can trigger a seeking desire to attain those states. Who knows, perhaps it's possible to maintain a relative blissful state for years or decades. If so, there is nothing "wrong" with that, yet there is more. That is relativity within absolute infinity. Personally, I'm more interested in exploring Absolute Truth, than seeking/attaining a relative blissful state. Such a state is distraction to exploring more expansive Absolute Truth. Getting locked into any relative state is a limitation.

This type of rational thinking and dismissal won't allow space for the revealing of absolute liberation (or absolute peace). Yet it sounds like you are comfortable and content in an abiding blissful state, which is cool. It's a wonderful place to be. Enjoy.

Perhaps inquire and explore "what is existence?". Not so much through theory, more toward direct experience. In places in which you can no longer distinguish between "existence" and "nonexistence". The mind loves to create thought stories about this type of stuff.

That is conditional. There is more. Absolute Liberation is unconditional.

I've experienced that as well. That within me there is an aspect of self that has the capacity to harm others to an extraordinary degree. This is a profound realization and can lead to deep levels of compassion to others. I would consider it a moderate level of empathy. There are much deeper levels. Finding an aspect of yourself that has the capacity to harm others, is still at a distance. There is still separation and a condition. There is a sense of "omigosh, there is an aspect of me that has the capacity to . . . if . . . ". And that "if" is the separation and distance from the actuality and beingness of it. . . The closer one approaches this "capacity" the more uncomfortable it can get. This becomes so radical that it appears insane and it scares other people - a lot. I rarely discuss the deeper levels of radical empathy with others. They either think I'm making it up, think I'm insane or get scared by it. I spent some time with a friend who had suffered post-partum depression and she went through hell fighting off urges to kill her son. She couldn't tell anyone for fear she would be labeled insane and get locked up - and they would take her son away. Yet she was terrified of being around her son. She started telling me about it one time - yet she was still guarded. If I was in a space of "Yes, there is an aspect of myself that has the capacity to do that", - that is still distance. It is much closer than most people can get, yet one can get closer, much closer. Yet, I'm not sure if a person can do it without empathic abilities . . We talked for an hour about the insanity, and hellish experience of post-partum disorder. We shared everything about it with each other - about what the insanity and experience is like. She told me stuff she never told anyone else, because they wouldn't understand what it's like. . . . Then she snapped out of it and asked "How the hell do you know what post-partum is like? You're a man and don't even have any children!". . . I've entered this space in person with a schizophrenic, a non-speaking autistic, a person with bi-polar, several people with severe anxiety/panic disorders and a young boy being physically abused. It can get really intense and for some, it's too intense and they want to avoid it. Others want to connect. . . And I've entered this space remotely with a solitary confinement prisoner, a murderer, a person undergoing force-feeding and a pedophile. Hyper-empathic zones go radically deep. If someone is a natural empath with ability, they can develop that into paranormal zones. Much deeper than they are aware of. Psychedelics are like a magic wand in this area yet it takes a lot of work and clearing away tangles. I've only met one other person in my life with high level empathic ability. It was a first date in a cafe and we knew immediately. We didn't even have to say anything. That is part of the "knowing". I was into it, yet she got overwhelmed and ran away. It can get really intense. In some situations one is fortunate if they reduce it or run away from it . . . . And it's not just people. There are also enjoyable things like communicating with nature and ancient buildings.

Thanks for bringing up this topic. I also observe a lot of spirituality with a goal and destination of abiding warm fuzzy feelings. Maybe there is such a destination, yet that's not my experience and not something I am seeking. I resonate strongly with that which is unconditional. When I see spiritual retreats promoting transcendence into conditional states of love and bliss, part of me is turned off. Some of my lessons have been things like the absolute peace in relative terror. Yet these are hard lessons that don't sell well. I've never seen a retreat with themes like "Surrender to your deepest fears", "The peace of anxiety", "Embrace your inner rapist". . . A couple years ago, a doctor in my area got caught sexually abusing young teenage girls. He got away with it for a long time. He was able to quiet the girls and parents didn't suspect a well-renowned doctor could behave like this (he was also a doctor for an olympic team). . . When he got caught, people were outraged. Some people were extremely upset and wanted him to suffer. I met many people that wanted him to go to a filthy prison where he would repeatedly get raped. The gal I was dating at the time held this view. It was like a choice had to be made: you either had compassion for the children or compassion for the rapist. Having compassion for both was impossible. As soon as I wondered if he had been abused as a child, she flipped out and started yelling at me that I was supporting a child rapist. I asked her if it was possible to have compassion for both the abused and the abuser and she vehemently said no and wanted me to decide which side I was on. . . Yet all dualities collapse with enough scrutiny. . . I then asked her "You have compassion for a child that has been abused. Ok, when does your compassion for that child end? What does that child need to do to no longer be deserving of your compassion?". She paused like this was a trick question. . , She replied "Never. I would always have compassion for them". . . . This is a common dilemma, the mind likes the idea of "unconditional love" or "unconditional compassion" until they find out what "unconditional" really means. . . So I continued: "Children abuse is traumatizing and leaves an imprint of suffering and disorders into adulthood - this suffering can be expressed in many different ways through their life. Should our compassion for the abused child end on their 18th birthday, when they are no longer a 'child'?", "Of course not". . . "So what would a traumatized person need to become unworthy of your compassion". She replied "They can't hurt another person". . . And that turned out to be her non-negotiable condition for compassion. She would not budge off of it. Like you suggested, compassion to me is trying to imagine what it's like to be in another person's shoes. We could imagine what it would be like to be abused, suffer for years, harm others and hate ourselves for it - yet be unable to stop. This imagination is a big step for the vast majority of people. Yet as you also suggested, empathy goes much deeper into nondual areas in which there is no difference between me and that child rapist. Ime, this work is extremely difficult and makes compassion look like a cake-walk. It goes much deeper than "I have the capacity to do that" or "After that type of abuse I may have done the same". That's still relatively surface. The deeper levels are actually being it. The "I AM" everything is fun and games while it's a blissful state of juicy Nondual Oneness. Yet it's not so much fun when the "I AM" means another that I hate or fear. I AM does not only include chipmunks, trees, butterflies and healers. The I AM also includes racists, murderers and child abusers. And that aint easy to face. I've been on many psychedelic trips where the "I AM" was someone I did not sign up for. The I AM includes both abused and abuser. These are the deepest levels of I AM empathy. Judgement, hate and fear cancels itself out, since I AM both. . . . And one's relationship to reality changes because if I harm you, I am harming myself.

I didn't say to demonize religion. Of course there is a lot of wisdom in everything, including religion. That is the whole point. Seeing that there is wisdom in everything is non-ideological. If someone was pushing an agenda of anti-religious / atheist dogmatic ideology - that also would not be tolerated on the forum. As well, the phrase "and everyone shall find what they're looking for." is consistent with the theme of a non-dogmatic forum. If someone said "Religion resonates with me, personally. I'm looking to deepen and expand my religious understanding. Can someone give me some suggestions?". That orientation is totally fine. Perhaps they would get suggestions about ACIM, Neal Donald Walsch, the sermon on the mount etc. This is fine. It is not the problematic orientation. A clear dogmatic orientation would be something like a person coming to the forum and calling LGBTQ members sinners that will burn in hell and push dogmatic religious conversion therapy on them. That orientation would be inappropriate on the forum. This is welcomed on the forum. No one gets warnings or banned for sharing wisdom or seeking their personal development. You may be referring to grey areas. Consider degree. For example, there was a previous user that kept posting horrific graphic images of human torture, suffering and death. And his writings were equally gruesome. He framed it as "freedom through death" as a way to fly under the radar. Should we say that all perspectives have value and should we allow the graphic imagery and writings that promote human torture, death and suicide? Would moderating this behavior be "wanting the person to behave a certain way and not some other"? I think most people on the forum would want some standard of behavior. This is a nuanced issue. There are extremes and grey areas. Intention and impact can be straight-forward or difficult to determine. As you say, some cases are hard to tell intent, others not so much. The user posting horrific graphic torture images wrote that he wanted to promote nonduality through the acceptance of human torture and to promote ultimate freedom through physical death and suicide. I think most people would agree this is clear intent. . . . Yet as you say, there are cases in which it is not easy to determine intent and cases in which intent cannot be determined. . . However, there are times that impact supersedes intent. What if the above user said his intent was good and that he was posting horrific images of human torture and death to help people? In this case, impact supersedes whatever intent he claims and he won't be allowed to post it. The current spiritual atmosphere we enjoy on the forum isn't the natural default state of online forums . If this forum wasn't moderated it would devolve into a mess of namecalling, trolling, scammers, spammers etc. A lot of people would get sick of it and leave the forum to find another spiritual community. . . The moderators here put in a lot of work to allow for an atmosphere conducive to personal development and spiritual growth. It's easy to say that every comment has value and everyone should be allowed to express whatever they want when the forum is moderated. It's very different in an un-moderated forum filled with trolls, scammers, ideological dogma and people threatening each other. Check out unmoderated anything goes forums - nasty stuff. It's not a black or white issue. It is a nuanced spectrum of degrees. There are grey areas. The extreme stuff is easy to moderate. It is the grey area stuff which is hard to moderate.

Be careful with jumping to conclusions. It does seem like Orange level media and democratic establishment are showing resistance to Bernie - yet be mindful of interpreting everything through that lens - it can cause distortion. For example, the Iowa Caucus is a structural mess. This was the first year they recorded both first and final votes tallies. And the first year of a new recording system. As well, many of the caucus precincts are below a high school level of voting for class president. Many precincts count votes by hand raising or estimating how many people are sitting on one side of the bleachers. Some people leave after the first vote because they don't want to wait around for realignment. It can be hard to keep track of people moving around during vote tallies and who had their hands up. At times, a coin is flipped to break a tie. . . In some presincts volunteers in their 70s are doing their best to count votes. Vote numbers are scribbled on scratch paper, then crossed out and corrected due to miscounting in the chaos. . . This can throw off vote counts and appear as "inconsistencies". . . For example, if Bernie got 87 votes and 10 of those people left the caucus because they didn't want to stick around for realignment, the final vote tallies will not add up and appear "inconsistent", Bernie's final vote tally in that precinct could actually go down. In this structural mess, it's hard to explain. Did some of his supporters leave? Did they switch groups? Did someone intentionally reduce his vote total? Structurally, it would be much more efficient to have ranked choice voting with individual ballots at a precinct, mail-in ballots or electronically.

@Psych2Awak3n There are many variables involved. Could you tell us a bit about your experience with psychedelics and what your intention is with using 5-meo?

@Bno It's certainly a mess, yet I wouldn't necessarily categorize it as "interference". Part of it is due to trying a new vote entry system, part is due to incompetence, part is due to the haphazard nature of of caucuses. These caucuses involve a bunch of people calling out for their preferred candidate. Vote counts are often by people raising their hands or estimating how many people are sitting in a cluster of support in one section of bleachers. Vote counts are scribbled on paper and electronically entered - often by elderly people in their 70s. This atmosphere is like a high school circus. . . What if someone raises both hands? What is someone's hand isn't seen? What if someone miscounts how many people are in one area? Is that guy between groups with Warren or Biden? . . . Plus people come and go. This was the first year that both first counts and second counts were recorded - which creates a mess. For example, on the first count Biden could get 34 votes, and three of those people leave before the second vote - this throws of the second vote tally and appears as "irregularities" - where did those votes go? People leaving? Miscounting? Intentionally not recording? . . . As well, people have been caught shifting to other camps. Some people in Biden's group may see that Klobuchar is barely below the 15% viability group and move over to her group to boost her numbers. This can be difficult to keep track of in a chaotic environment between first and second votes. This isn't "interference" - it is an archaic system of voting that is inherently difficult to tally and record. A much better system would be to have ranked choice voting. They can keep the community dialog atmosphere by having all groups get together in one precinct and a representative gets to make their case for their candidate and then they have a formal ranked choice voting - without any of the nonsense of counting raised hands, flipping coins, people moving around, people leaving etc., . It's very unlikely that anyone will change their first choice, yet the dialog can persuade people to change their second or third choices.

@4201 My post backfired and was counter-productive. The intention was to stimulate a transcendent awareness, yet it had the opposite effect of further contraction into conceptual rationalism. . . As another said. . . time for the zen stick. . . whack, whack, whack!!!!

The "ego perception" part for sure. For this to arise, there needs to be space - and that involves dissolution of ego - even temporarily. And what arises in that space could be described in many different ways, including "love". I'm hesitant to use the term love, because it's such a loaded term and I think there are many different flavors of relative love. I think many people have gotten a glimpse of this with another. A moment in which "me" and "you" dissolve. Time dissolves. Space dissolves. There is a presence of a pure essence. It could be described as "awe", "love", "magic", "magnificence" etc. In my experience and view, it seems most people get very limited glimpses that are so brief, they don't catch it. The glimpse appears and disappears. Generally, the self would re-enter and get grounded. . . For example, someone might be a lover and this transcendence briefly appears, followed by contraction into the self. Then, the self filter of interpretation returns. The mind may think "Whoa, what just happened there? That was amazing. I hope she felt it too? What if it was only me? I don't want to ask her. If I was the only one she may think I'm soft. I hope she felt it too. What can I do to get her to like me? I think I'm in love and don't want to lose her". . . This is self filter conditioned into us. . . I've seen it in myself and others. . . I was with a gal in which I could enter these spaces for several minutes at a time. She had never experienced it, yet I was able to "pull her" into it. As she lost herself, she got nervous and called out "What's happening?! What is this?! What's happening?!". . . This is similar to someone at an Ayahuasca retreat calling out "what's happening?!" as they lose sense of self. In this case, my gf let go for a bit and then pulled back. It was just too vulnerable and unknown to her. And then she re-immersed herself into a self construct. In terms of dating and relationships, ime the dissolution of filters in really important. Going into a state of "empty looking" in which the internal vs. external boundaries start to dissolve. This is just temporary and I would say it's a mature level, because at an immature level it can turn into having weak boundaries and getting taken advantage of. . . . In this space lacking a self-centered agenda, filters are removed. I would say this is best as a temporary relaxation of filters that allows shared space - it's not a permanent space. Yet in this space, there is shared energy - it's not "what I want" and "what she wants". There just is what is that reveals itself without filters of "me" and "you". And with the contraction back to "me" and "you", there can be a deeper understanding of both "me" and "you". For a moment, there is no difference between "me" and "you" - such that harm/suffering to "you" is the same as harm/suffering to "me". If "I" hurt you, it is the same as "I" hurting me. . . Not in an intellectual way, in an actual feeling and empathic way. This is a very different orientation than I standard "my wants" and "your wants" dynamic. Ime, this space allows for many insights of "another" because the "me" and "you" duality is relaxed. And I would say there are many degrees of this. In terms of interpersonal relationships, I wouldn't say this is an mindspace that someone should try to permanently enter. It's a beautiful interface of duality and nonduality - yet there are practical considerations as well. Just like an individual can't enter full-on nonduality and function in life - neither could a couple. As well, if one person can enter the space and the other person can't - different energetics can arise depending on the person. Some may be attracted to it, intrigued by it or uncomfortable with it. I would say some high level pua guys likely have an extrasensory ability to intuitively sense aspects of this in a natural flow - yet there is still a self-motivated filter which lacks a holistic awareness. They use this sensory awareness to steer things to a self-motivated direction. Other pua guys may try to develop low level, which is kinda comical. For example, "If she twirls her hair, it means 'x'", "If she says she is 'looking an emotional connection', it means 'y'". This is comical to me because it is actually placing interpretative filters into the mind, which makes it even harder to attain higher level intuitive / empathic flow states that don't have interpretive self-centered filters. . . An analogy might be someone learning a new language that carries around a dictionary - constantly translating words to meaning. This is very different than someone fluent in the language that no longer needs to translate. This is just one way to describe inter-personal dynamics. In a way, I would say it is a "higher" level because it involves increase awareness/sensitivity to more information in the Here and Now. Awareness and sensitivity to this involves letting go of self-centered interpretative filters. To me this seems obvious. . . If I am with a woman and my mind is immersed in interpretation relative to my wants and my mind is immersed in calculating the best responses to steer things toward my self wants, it will not be aware and receiving other information within the Here and Now.

@0ne "It's so easy when you have drugs isn't it?". This is relative to what "it" is and the person. Ime, I can create many "Its". For example, psychedelics have taken me to hyper creative places of genius-level integration. It's so high up, I can only capture a small percentage of the integrated expansiveness. It is easier for me to reach this "It" with psychedelics? You bethca. . . I have many other "ITs". Another "it" for me are places of hyper-sensitivity to reality, things like hyper-empathy in which there is Oneness and essential communication to all beings - both physcial and nonphysical. Is it easier to access this "It" with psychedelics? Absolutely. . . There have been times I've tripped in nature in which I am the creator of nature and can move energy. . . Then I would go out in nature sober and it's boring af. It's like going from 5D brilliant color to suck ass 3D black and white. . . What can develop is a pattern of seeking a "place" that is not Here and Now. . . It's not the "places", it is the seeking and desire for those "places". . . In a sense, this can be motivating. For example, when higher states of consciousness were revealed, you bet I had desire to re-visit those places of magnificence. In the context of motivation to practice this can be great. For example, if human abilities are revealed through psychedelics, there can be motivation to develop those abilities. Yet, there can also be a dependency dynamic as well. At the human level of personal development, I've found it helpful to use psychedelics as a tool - yet to work toward integration and embodiment so that I am no longer dependent psychedelics for this aspect. It takes work and practice. . . . One thing I've found helpful to ween myself off of the extraordinary power of psychedelics is to use smaller doses and see if I can access "it" with just a little boost. . . Or I will try to access through other avenues, such as a small dose of edible cannibis, shamanic breathing, lucid dreaming. As my baseline conscious level increased, I was able to access "it" places through alternative means.

If we create a construct of meaning in which a person becomes enlightened such that that enlightenment produces abiding contentment, happiness, satisfaction and acceptance of the true nature of reality - then yes. Perhaps this state/place/destination exists. It seems like there may be some humans that have attained something that might look like this. This construct doesn't resonate with me, since this is a destination that is not Here, in a time that is not Now. Perhaps there is some high level "enlightened state" that is permanently content, happy and satisfied. I don't know and I'm not that interested in seeking it. To me, that is limited and contracted. Those are all feelings humans seek and they are conditional. Rather than relative conditional contentment, I'm more attracted toward unconditional contentment - that is not dependent on any conditions. It is always present Here and Now. It is present when I am in a blissful state of meditation in a tranquil forest and it is present when I am feeling anxiety and fear. . . . To me, that is the deeper realization.

This is a key point. Lack of this awareness is a contraction and can allow the formation of constructs such as "what women really want" and it's a "win-win" scenario. If a person holds a self-biased, relative view of what "success" means, it will distort their view of what "success" means for another (from the relative experience of the other). I would say this is one of the biggest blocks to understanding another's relative perspective/experience from that person's perspective/experience. This is a high level of empathic understanding which cannot be experience/understood through a lens of what "success" means relative to my agenda. At the highest empathic levels, it is if a person becomes the other person.

The first indicator of "readiness" will be revealed tonight in small caucasuses in Iowa tonight. . . The world has been exposed to major political leaders with sprinklings of Green (Obama, Macron, Trudeau), yet has the world been exposed to solid political green leader? . . Perhaps we could consider Nelson Mandela as a solid green leader. Yet he was the president of South Africa - with a limited sphere of influence - Bernie would have a much more expanded sphere of influence as a US president. My prediction for tonight is that Bernie will win the Iowa Caucus tonight. The mainstream Orange corporate media has ignored Bernie as much as they could. However, one thing Orange cannot ignore is winning. Orange is deeply embedded into competition and winning - they will not be able to fully ignore a Sanders victory. So I also predict that the Orange mainstream media will minimize the magnitude as much as possible. Turnout will be high, so they will not be able to say it was low turnout of a few radicals. . . Rather, I predict Orange media will minimize it as a limited number of passionate younger people that probably won't vote in a general election anyway. A lot of young people that don't understand what socialism is. As well, the victory will be minimized as localized to a group of progressive Caucasians in a small midwest state. My last prediction: if the margin of victory is close, Orange media will try to obscure the victory. They may say that it's not really a "full win" due to margin victory. Or if Biden is close, that Biden is the "actual" winner because he was predicted to lose by 7 pts and only lost by 4. . . Or they could obscure the win through process obfuscation. For example, they could say that 1st, 2nd and 3rd ballots are a complex system that isn't "normal" voting - so Bernie sorta won an odd system of Caucus voting.

We are all interconnected The dissolution of "internal" and "external" is super cool.

One question I would ask is: what is your underlying energetic orientation? What is your desire and motivation pulling you toward? Is it to develop a conceptual construct that can satisfactorily explain phenomena and existential questions? Or is the desire and motivation to transcend rational constructs? These are very different orientations. I think this is a key to see the underlying orientation. . . When you say "I am aware. . .", it seems like a contracted "I am" within an intellectual/personal "I am". From a trascendent, higher "I AM" awareness, there is a very different relationship with construct creation. There is knowing of a "prior". This is like saying "what if a sandcastle could become grounded and permanent if we only dig deep enough?". Any *thing* we come up with is within infinity. One cannot step outside of Absolute Infinity and create a construct to explain infinity. It immediately becomes infinity. I think ideas of memories and experiences are very interesting in a certain context. However, your context and frame here crashes down. How can Absolute Infinity be just. . . ? . . . Even rationally, this is super easy to see. . . Its the same as saying "What if Everything is just. . . ?". Do you see how there is separation here and anything you come up with is within Absolute Infinity? The whole frame collapses. . . . If you framed your construct like "What if there was a relative dimension of infinity in which an infinite number of memories was related to xyz. . . ". That is a very different relative construct. This would be one relative infinite dimension within and infinite number of infinite dimensions. At this point in the conversation, there is no point. There is no point continuing with a relative construct trying to capture Absolute.

@Raptorsin7 Stage of development is not the main factor. For example, someone could be contracted within a logical, materialist paradigm - if they come to the forum and go Full-On Richard Dawkins mode of argumentation and pushing an agenda - it won't be a good fit. . . Yet if they are genuinely curious, open and willing to expand beyond a materialist paradigm, it could be a great fit.

@Chumbimba 23 is old enough. It's not so much about chronological age, it's more about maturity level and one's energetic orientation. I did an Ayahuasca retreat in Peru a couple years ago that was very transformative. I did a lot of research to find an Aya retreat that was a good fit for me. I lived in Peru for two months and there are a wide range of Aya ceremonies. There is very little regulation. I have experience with the Aya retreat I did. As well, I met many people that did other retreats or knew about various ceremonies. Some ceremonies can range from very shady low-quality. There were literally cardboard signs posted up in towns with scribblings of "Aya ceremony each Tues. Meet here." - low quality with poorly trained leaders. . . There are also high quality retreats. The one I chose was very integrative. The leaders had years of experience with meditation, yoga, psychology, energetics, Aya etc. The community was at a very high conscious level. . . . Ime, the community energetics is as important as the personal energetics - the two influence each other. As well, there are times in an Aya retreat in which one must let go and surrender. For some, this is easy - it's like going on a fun trip. For others, it can be challenging and being in a community that you trust and resonate with is important. The community I was in was so loving and supportive, that I was able to let go without fear that I would be harmed. . . I also know of another retreat with very positive reviews. This was much deeper into the jungle and, imo, focuses a lot more on deep mysticism - which is a great fit for some. To learn more, I would recommend coming up with a list of possible retreats and then contacting people that actually did them. Quite often the retreat website has testimonials or one can do a search for "Aya retreat 'xyz' reviews'. Quite often there is contact information. I found it very helpful to contact people that already did the retreat. For some people I contacted, the retreat was years ago. Everyone I contacted was very open and happy to talk about their experience. This gave me a sense of whether a particular retreat would be a good fit for me. Once my list was down to three candidates, I contacted the leaders and introduced myself, my experience and why I feel drawn to their retreat. The way the leaders respond also reveals connection and resonance. In terms of intentions: the intentions you list above were very common for the people within my retreat. Before each ceremony, the leader would give us a spiritual talk and prepare us. Each person then stated an intention for the ceremony. I would say 60% of the people were oriented toward resolving some issue: healing of past traumas, uncertainty about their career, wanting insights of life purpose, whether to stay within a marriage etc. Many got deep insights in the area of their intention, others got deep insights in another areas outside the intention, a few didn't get much. For example, one woman kept vomiting and falling asleep and was disappointed. Another turned into a reptile and was disappointed. Another person had the big insight of how much their high school chemistry teacher cared about them - and was disappointed. A few people told me they were hoping to go into childhood issues or resolve other issues and just didn't get there. . . There majority of people had life tranforming experiences, yet keep in mind that these high quality retreats can be expensive and take effort to get to. For me, I had to take three airline connections, with an overnight layover, and a two hour shuttle. You might want to see whether you resonate with psychedelics by trying them out on your own. Take a low/medium dose and see if you resonate. If there is a calling. After I did a few trips, I felt a resonance that I was ready to go deeper and a calling to do an Aya retreat in a community setting. It is a huge investment of resources to travel to remote areas of Peru. Some of the people were already in South America and the retreat was one activity. For example, they would also be traveling to Machu Picchu and Lake Titicaca. For them, the retreat was just part of their travels. Others came specially for the retreat and it was the only reason they were in Peru. I also looked for Aya retreats in the US and I did not find any that I resonated with. My impression is that Aya ceremonies are highly restrictive due to legal laws and stigmas. I did not find any retreates that were structually well-developed with high level leaders and a high-conscious community. To me, Peru seems more advanced. I did see a couple US options in which a teacher from Peru was leading Aya ceremonies in the US. Yet the infrastructure wasn't there, imo. . . There are also a lot of "underground" retreats popping up. For example, a small community of friends doing an Aya ceremony at someone's cabin in the woods. I know people that have had high quality transformative experiences, yet it is also a very informal setting. The US is at the very early stages of Aya retreat development. Only two US cities in California have decriminalized Aya. . . . So I think you could find a high quality group in the US, yet it won't have the structure of a formal retreat, like in Peru. . . Personally, I found this very helpful - in particular, integration. In a formal high quality Aya retreat setting, there will be a lot of time devoted to integration (more time than the actual trip). This involves journaling, deep contemplation and deep conversations with other practitioners and leaders. Some appearances can seem insane and batshit crazy. I found it important to have people with experience to help me integrate. This may be a personal resonance, yet the quality of music had a huge influence on my experience. I did not even consider that music would have such a profound impact. The energetics were guided by the music. The retreat I went on had amazing musicians. Men and women that devoted their lives to deeply exploring the spirituality and expression of music. I would put them on the same level as Carnegie Hall caliber musicians. The music was indescribable. It was beautifully ethereal at times, yet also mysterious at other times. It can have an enormous influence on the essence of the trip. On my second ceremony, the music had a "shift" point that went from a flowing stream feel to entering a darker part of the forest. After the ceremony, many people talked about this one shift point and how their trip changed. . . I can't imagine the retreat without the music. As well, my retreat didn't have any tribal type drumming music - that would have had a very different energy. I would also make it a priority to do a retreat with at least 3 ceremonies in a 7-10 day period. Every Aya ceremony and trip has a uniqueness to it. My three ceremony trips were completely different. And you just don't know which one may be the "big one", For me, my second ceremony was 10X deeper than the first or third. I'm still integrating components of that ceremony two years later. If you have at least three ceremonies, there is a good chance one of the ceremonies will be extremely insightful relative to your intentions. As well, I would avoid ceremonies on consecutive days. Aya can be very strenous on the mind and body. My physical body needed two days to recover after the first ceremony and my mind needed 2-3 days to recover from the second ceremony. As well, have time between ceremonies to integrate is really important. I would say three ceremonies over 7-10 is the minimum to ensure a high chance of transformative insights being revealed and integrating them.