Forestluv

@Javfly33 I’m ok sitting with sadness. Sometimes I’ll be in nature and sadness arises. Or I will be watching a sad movie or listening to a sad song. I can also sit comfortably with others that are sad. For me, joy and sadness are two sides of the same coin. I cannot have one without the other. And there are deep contemplations and insights within sadness. I’ve noticed most people have a low tolerance for sadness and desire to move away from it, to feel ‘better’. Yet I’m cool experiencing with it. . . For me, anxiety and anger are uncomfortable. When anxiety and anger arises (in me or others), I feel a desire to move away from it. Either physically moving away from it or trying to resolve things and make it ‘better’ such that the anxiety or anger goes away.

I find it helpful to observe the underlying feeling. . . . There are different underlying feelings/energetics driving the desire. For example, I may have a creative idea that I know my friend Sally may like. I may get really excited to share this with Sally. I text her my creation and wait for anticipation for her response. . . . This is a different orientation than seeking attention for validation. For example, I might be feeling Incomplete and insecure. I may desire attention from Sally to fill this sense of incompleteness and that I’m good enough.

Perhaps society conditions us to believe that sadness means something is wrong. Sometimes when a sad feeling arises, the mind makes up a story about wrongness. . . Last night I was was walking in a rainy forest. A feeling of sadness arose. Rather than making up a thought story about what’s wrong, I just sat with the sadness. I observed and experienced sadness. It was so pure and beautiful. . . . Later I told a friend about the sadness and she reacted “Oh no! That’s too bad. What’s wrong? Let’s make it better”. . . Yet there was nothing “wrong” with the sadness and it wasn’t something that I wanted to change.

A thread to discuss the relative value and harm of porn is fine. Yet a thread titled to question whether Leo (or any forum user) is addicted to porn is out of bounds. It is also a click-bait title.

Yes, that’s part of what I’m saying. Yet, ego can take ownership of what “knowing” is. . . There is also conditioning, mental filters and attachment/identification. As well, there are deeper aspects one ‘knows‘, yet has forgotten. There is a returning home and remembering.

You are not aware of pre-conditioned filters you have. Saying “I’m not starting from any paradigm” has no depth on it’s own. More important is the underlying energetics of openness, willingness, curiosity and exploration. This is easy to see. . . Notice the mind say “I have no paradigm” and then keep reverting back to it’s pre-conceived paradigm to which it is attached/identified. . . . One could say “I’m not starting with a belief that any culture is better than another”. Yet this is belief is actually a sneaky defense if the mind keeps reverting back to “My culture is the best” and has no openness and willingness to let go of attachements/identification to it’s culture and genuinely get curious and explore other cultures. Notice how the mind is trying to set the narrative here by defining rules and what counts or doesn’t count as “evidence”. And again. . . Be aware of the mind’s desire to take ownership of “direct experience” to re-enforce it’s own agenda. The self wants narrative control of meaning - including control over the interpretation of “direct experience”. This is a distraction. To awaken and expand you will need to let go of narrative control and go beyond your edges. Yet you are not willing to do this. Notice your intense resistance and dismissal of actual expansion - such as psychedelics. . . . Psychedelics would shatter your self control of narrative. A mind wanting control of narrative will not put itself in a position in which is loses that control. Thus, it will label it as “hallucinations” or “irrational” or “can’t be proven”. These are all efforts of the mind to avoid losing control of narrative. And it’s not just psychedelics. You are doing it with other avenues of expansion as well. You will not realize the contraction you are in until you are willing to let go and have a meta-view / experience. Not a view or direct experience on your terms within your narrative control. A direct experience of realization after surrendering all your terms, rules and narratives. Direct experiences of realization are not the intellect claiming direct experience to craft it’s own logical contextualizations. If you are familiar with SD, this is within Orange level philosophizing. You will not be able to understand Yellow / Turquoise through an Orange lens.

@Someone here You won’t awaken and expand by continually re-enforcing a pre-conceived paradigm from within that paradigm.

Just set a timer for whatever length you want to meditate. Having an announcement for every five minutes is counter-productive as it re-enforces the mind’s tendency to think about time, what it needs to do and how much time is left in the meditation.

@Yulduz Notice how all memories are not now, yet are appearing now. If your mind couldn’t put your memories in chronological order, they would simply be appearances occurring now.

@Yulduz Historical events are a long putt. I’d like examine my own memories. What do all your memories have in common?

Good vibrations. Feels so good. . . ❤️

@Nahm ??

@Someone here You won’t figure it out logically. When only imaginary can be seen, the pointer points to real. When only real can be seen, the pointer points to imaginary. Real is distinct from imaginary and real = imaginary. Observe the beautiful dance between form and formless. Transcend and ye shall see. . .

I would likely give myself a permission slip to do it for a while. It may reveal and allow access to something I resonate with. Yet there may come a time in which I start using it as a crutch and need to start integrating and embodying without the substance (or less of the substance). In physical terms, 2-3g twice a week is not sustainable due to tolerance. That’s over double the amount/frequency of tolerance resets.

Previously posted by the animator himself. Very creative.

I’ve found this energetic/feeling dynamic to have value in some contexts, yet it is also a self-protective mechanism. At a deeper level, the discomfort of potentially entering ‘that state of consciousness’ is more about the fear of letting go of self control. To maintain control, the ego may conjure up disturbing images of what surrendering self control would mean. There can be practical value in that, yet it is also a block from awareness/knowing/being/experience that is transcendent of that self. @Dutch guy Christmas in May ? ? @Nahm Just a few bird chirps away ?

From the perspective of the ego, nothing. This was one of the hardest surrenders I’ve faced. One egoic strategy to maintain control is to say “without me in charge, you could harm others”.

Lots of thoughts about what is prior to thought. . . .

@SoonHei I may have a different relationship with ‘dream’, ‘wake’, ‘physical’ and ‘non-physical’. . . .Within the conventional context you are using, what you describe makes sense to me.

This gets into some advanced lucid dreaming in which I’ve only had some glimpses. I’m certainly not a master in this area. . . I would say it depends on how you are defining “found” and “truly the body”. For me, the concept construction is second order. First order is entering that lucid state, exploring and observing the actuality.

Just a reminder to all that sourcing is against forum guidelines. . . .

Yes. Thanks for making this point. Yin yoga postures should only be held at about 70% max stretch. Some discomfort is ok and good. Yet it should not be forced or entered into pain zones or hands and feet getting numb and tingly. As well, in the beginning, poses should only be held for 2-3 minutes. Also, don’t force postures. For example, in the quad stretch posture in the above video, my hips were too tight to enter into the full posture, so I had to stay with my upper-body upright and it turned into a hip opener posture rather than a quad posture. It’s important to listen to the body. Also, when the mind enters into deep meditative states, the relationship with pain can be altered. I’ve entered zones in which I could transform pain into swirling energy of flairs and warm chocolate. Zones in which time stops and I go waaay too deep because I’ve lost sense of “pain” and “time”. A couple times, this led to over-stress which took me days to recover from. @Dutch guy Thanks for the links on Tai Chi. I’ve been feeling desire for energy flow and motion. I’ve got a bit through vinyasa, yet Tai Chi has been popping up recently. . . .

You mentioned body awareness. . .for me it takes practice of observation. To observe the mind and body. . . This isn’t easy for my mind as it often gets bored, wants to do something else or goes into la-la land. Yet when I can get into the zone, a lot about body awareness is revealed. . . For example, last night I was able to get in the zone and scanned my body of tightness and tensions. I breathed into areas and thought to let go within certain body areas. There was a “release” and the body sank a bit lower - almost like sand. . . I actually experienced “release”. I had thought release was ‘supposed’ to be a different way. Yet there it was releasing. It was amazing.. . . I also got insight into how my body stores negative inputs from my environment. As I observed, it was so clear how different stresses, judgements, criticisms are stored in my body. Some recent inputs and some that happened long ago. This is a different form of release. . . Physical, mental and emotional. . . So beautiful. . .

The discomfort might be due to prior conditioning, being vulnerable, not being reciprocated or not one’s style. I grew up in a very stoic environment - there were no heart-to-heart talks. Love was not expressed through words. It was most commonly expressed through gift-giving (which isn’t my ‘love language’). For me, saying “I love you” in words doesn’t carry much weight. Quality time together has much higher resonance. That means being fully present with each other, being interested in each other, sharing meaningful moments with each other. If I’m out in a cafe with a friend and they spend most of the time on their phone and I’m a distraction. . .that doesn’t feel like love to me. Even if they say “I love spending time with you”, it wouldn’t carry much weight. . . Yet, saying the words can feel uncomfortable or awkward to me. Perhaps a combination of prior conditioning and not resonating with that type of intimacy. If I wanted to express it words, I would probably write a heart-felt love poem. . .

I find Yin yoga to be great for meditative body awareness. I’ve enter some deep states. In the beginning, there is learning the postures, surrendering and letting go. . . It can be challenging, yet that is part of the breakthrough. I’ve found online instructors with a good vibe can be a helpful guide to get into the zone. . . I’ve recently discovered Bohobeautiful yoga. She has that “essence” I resonate with. Mind, body, spirit connection. Yet also connection to earth, wind, water, earth. . . Below is a session I did last night. It is a beginner series that incorporates some easy flow with yin. The postures are only held for 2min. each. For me, her guide helped me let go and release. . .