Strikr

Je vais devoir faire une mini parenthèse avant de te dire ce que j'aime en dubstep :> ( et forcément je fais une parenthèse sur mon background .. ) ( même si je comprend le concept de non dualité et d'identité, et j'ai maté toute les vidéos de léo en entier. ) j'aime toute la musique en général, de Mozart à Booba en passant par des OST de jeremy soule. J'ai toujours tout aimé dans la musique, mais je me suis jamais lançé à cause de supposition infantile ( uniquement l'élite .., uniquement les gens qui ont les studios pour.. , uniquement les gens qui ont commencés tôt ), pour ça que j'ai commencé à me lancer dedans sérieusement qu'à 20/21 ans ( en étant en étude de cinéma, cinéma ou j'ai grindé près d'un millier de film en 2 ans, je voulais vraiment être un réal à l'époque ) ( j'ai 24 ) Quand j'ai vue l'avancé technologique chez un pote et les résultats "maisons" je me suis lancé assez vite dedans.. j'ai découvert super tard la qualité du son sur monitoring aussi, là c'était le pas qui m'a poussé dans l'addiction à la musique. j'ai toujours eu un sentiment spécial pour la dubstep avec adventure club, puis au final j'ai rencontré des gens qui étaient à fond dedans et comme j'ai toujours était un pure fan de metal/banger head ( rammstein, soad, les classiques et quelques groupes norvégiens ) à vrai dire, j'écoutais de loin l'electro ( mon portable était bourré de tout, même de kpop, c'est dire à quel point j'ai toujours vécu librement ma sexualité musique, comme une prostituée diront certains.. je me souviens encore de ce moment à la cantine ou un pote m'a emprunté mon phone ( ouai il voulait savoir ce que j'écoute ), donc il à écouté une dizaine de tracks je dirais ( 20 min ) puis m'a dis, t'es complètement possédé ! :'( .. ) j'ai une grosse culture dubstep actuel, j'essaye de me fixer dedans, car mon souci c'était de vouloir tout faire et tout maîtriser ma culture dub est complètement inexistante avant 2012, je pourrais même carrément dire que "je suis un producteur de riddim dubstep" ( du moins j'essaye de me caser vers là ) plutôt que de dubstep. En France on a une vrai culture du dubstep actuel ( riddim ) tu trouves pas :> juste une impression peut être Il y a bientôt graphyt et ecraze dans ma ville et je pense qu'après ce concert ce sera enlightment direct haha. Après j'aime bien aussi la bass dubstep plus classique avec la vibe 90' à force de me gaver de son, je fini toujours par me tourner vers des trucs expérimentaux à la longue Je sais pas, j'aime la musique, je me définis.. mais pas vraiment, être un artiste c'est déjà bien. et toi ? du coup tu es musicien en France ? raconte moi, en fait je raconte ma vie facile mais c'est pas intéressant, j'ai juste la pensée fluide et j'ai aussi voulu être écrivain à certains moment haha ( je suis un flow permenant, ce qui fait beaucoup de bordel ), parfois on prend ça pour de l'égo, mais moi je suis un peu maladif à l'idée de "pas être bien compris" surtout quand je veux transmettre une idée Après mes seconds genre d'attention : psytrance / wave trap / futur heavy bass (k?d)

asking question = contemplating the question. contemplating the question, playing with the shape of the question if to you create an abstract answer to a question it doesn't mean you reach "truth", I m asking, what is your identity doing all days ? can you have something higher in your life than social help with this mindset ? or having a decent life, if you're poor. Can you see the box where you are spreading the "love non sense mindset", if a kid living in Africa can't apply the idea that are here, it mean that the idea if rooted in shit ( to me ) you need to learn all about "the energy"/pattern if you want to understand deeply, even if this path lead to the answer as " there is no way but grinding the idea " or " grinding is meaningless" ( a nihilist assumption ) every form of action is a searsh for truth ( or a break for searshing for it ) what truth, and to whom, that is a better question .. everyone have the answers and the lie, it's all the mind who makes the distinction ( a poor metaphysical grounding, makes you having attention on poor detail of each box ) but each box is aswell a part of god. what do you mean by contemplating. Talking about something is contemplating to me. Self inquiring is talking/thinking/meditation on/having insight on because subconscious ground/ambiant makes you having insight on what you love/think the most what do you mean precisely. next one I find on this forum trying to be deep will have to modulate or sound stupid, then it's to everyone to makes the work of deepening stuff. If you always give "deep", it's as good help as seing someone depress, "hey if you're not happy, so be happy." this kind of non sense. it's as deep as doing anal with a buddha if you're enlightnened in something, be a light that modulate for rat. Don't deny the overthinking ride god gives us, every part of him is good, there is no evil, no bad, no bad way of thinking, it's ALL bullshit in the end, there is good way to cop with reality at a time X, and this time X is different for everyone. Modulating an idea isn't boxing them, I can be deep : the whole are in the details.

France believe me I have a high connection with my music ( I can dance hours with rage without any thought but feeling it through my vains, I even try to become one with the sound, and enjoy every tiny detail, as the bigger emphasis on the whole idea ( that was where I was when I started, then I dig deep and deep.. until I fall in a box haha ) I was too critic after begginer phase. and boxed me ( as an intuit basic guy, I started being analytical ) everything was flow states and unfinished work, but then the problem was finishing almost reversed after grinding a lot. ( kind of loose intuit for drawing hard line, and not remove things in the bigger idea.. boxed like a rat ) I m working on making the mind pattern of intuit more back by drawing with my full intuit ( maybe a weird way to increase my music.. by drawing but still, I think it helped a lot with the part of my mind who want to create solid line on everything, ( now there is almost none, everything is slimy in my hand, every sound is shape of noise I just feel ) With drawing I m really a bird, I just draw for fucksake and don't care about anything but fun drawing, thing is, It was like this for me, for the 2000 first hours of music creation ( and then it become more and more "grind" than discovery ) ( mostly sound engineering in fact, more than music, I wanted the graphic result, the sound to sound FAT and CLEAN ) when it was not fat, clean, I solve the maze ( take me years to figure out how perspective / difference in intensity : matter in the sense of music/mixing ) I probably losted myself in the mathematical aspect of sound design. So intuit on solid background knowledge to resolve any problems ( it's almost done, I know why things don't work together or it work and why, it tooks me 3 years to get where I think is now a solid ground for myself, in almost any case ). All my family is made of computer programmer/designer, I ve always been a nerd/geek, with a fake extraverted personality. , now everything sound a bit puzzled out, so it loosed his magic, I know exactly how are build what was fancy to me before, know it sound like me reading music code, I could make it, work long on it, but I don't feel the chase for the puzzle (and I still enjoy music a lot, it's just the whole process, sometimes.. ) maybe contre intuitively taking a break could be the best thing I can do for my music. ( and being against all principle of working daily ? ) , ( it's mostly bass music, very emphasis the emotion of my own will ( to me ) ) ( it's mostly dubstep that I aim for what we call today dubstep ( not skrillex related ), so many "box rules" about proportion of things against others things ( or you'll sound OUT of the big picture of creating a trance like ambiant in a scene ) like artist who play you, don't play you if you're out of the box too much ( they can't mix your part, because you start too soon, too early your emphasis, they can't take your sound if your "kick/snare" are weak, in fact, as your sound will be put in another draw, you should make it fit a bit like a lego ) but even in lego there is infinite possibility. ( maybe it answer to people : why electronic music kind of sound the same ? ) I always tryed to put my sound in the "rule" but learning rule was a real good thing anyway ( I was overbreaking everything to the point of having no ground in everything ) it created for me a solid ground where there was none, so when I create even OST music for instance, I always have a "background" where I know how things are in the "big picture of what I have as "basic grounded understanding" ( aka my all my old music project ) I do not fear not having a work anymore ( there is social help up to 500€ a month without doing any work at 25, so I do not fear the " no job no food " ) but that's easy as I live with my mother ( she is never at home, I just use the best ground I have.. would be stupid to quit mum house, as she don't asked me for it at all, she even cheer me in my project and believe in my work ) ( that was my fear who put me to work for insane time and taking huge amount of doping stuff to make it through and fast ( like weed ) it's maybe a bit classic monkey pursuit, but everything is a monkey pursuit, I just choose this one, provide me with the best human life currently. I love it, it speaks to me, music isn't a thing, music is my cult, my religion, my girlfriend, my drug, my breath, my call, my lord, my god, my only love. Maybe I m taking it too seriously ? anyway I m reading the book and like what is written so far. I just need more awareness maybe ? something to control even more my thought, having this happy intuit to draw/write without wanting any solid result, don't try to aim for fitting the box, just draw my shit, and then box them at their best ( my new way of thinking ). ( I m still figuring things out ) the only problem with my work, is having tired ears and maybe having started only 3/4 years ago, I m asking myself if observing with full attention/awareness is better than keep grinding mindlessly with no real background foundation/goal. yes I could create something original, very deep, very intense, very artistic, very myself, but that would not give me a single penny at the end ( because people would not get it ) I have to survive and fill up the first part of the pyramid before wanting to transcend myself at the higher peak, does I m wrong in the path I want to have ? I like to be decoding things, maybe that's who am I even more than being musician, but I have to finish my first path before grounding myself in "higher states" keep the grounding in blabla thinking, it helped me so I can be wrong only from another pespective who don't need mine.

I have already watched the second video, and I have finish the first :> as I agree, the second video helped me so much when I was thinking so much more in a box in the past. What was weird, is, as a kid, I always did iterative drawing, kind of autist I've always been. I m reading the book it picked my curiosity sound resonating, cheer up mate

@Hamilcar high consciousness = what you think is high consciousness ho this is just a maze you can solve for you, or don't

the radical relativity of reality. this is what you get with a psychedelic experience, you can't explain better the radical relativity of reality, omg the world is so huge I m a fucking Ant. integrated in your sense for REAL, like you feel that your chair is real, now you feel the relativity as real as the chair your sitting in. shatter your way of reacting to the world it trigger change in your all way of watching reality but maybe psychedelic without a bit of a guideline can be tricky for some, ( psychedelic is very curative for the compulsive thinker )

- Accepting the suffering, loving it, understand his purpose instead of rejecting it - think for myself every fact and concept and their meaning to me, think in term of system instead of reacting. - control my thought and feeling and be aware of their effect. Control the ego; be aware of him, makes peace with him. - stop comparing myself, stop blablating, stop defending an identity - embody my satanness & embody godness, stop judging myself - breath properly - don't abuse substance, don't be an addict - Careful when "listening" to "false" prophets, mystic and scientific - Accepting to find my own truth and embody my own road and be aware of the multiple island of solid shit thanks Leo and this community for being a part of my journey https://soundcloud.com/jakeleeismyname/last-memory

@Torkys damn the thot thing I read it on youtube, but emphasis is legit here haha @Gabriel Antonio putain j'ai ris

"He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee." F.Nietzsche

meditation is a way, not the only one, for me get clean of all my thought and "becoming the music" is how I do it.

yes my word just resonate currently but they could lock me in the idea of an identity, they are no solid rock, just a wind, a wave. my fundamental music will never have to be lead by words and sentences, but I need a book, the one I m writting, it's not something solid, it's about being water. I could decline the words of this topic to infinity, cause they have all a deeper meaning for me and I can't describe all that is in me, so let be it as it is

woman list ARE TRAPS ! don't listen to what woman want, especially from a woman ! especially when they precise they know something ! my 2 cent

what if god never existed before us. we are the manifestation of the first god. what if universe is not created, why would infinity be created ? god can ask many questions, maybe god shouldn't ask more and experience what he created us for. if it's about collecting data, be a good rat data. but even if god want to have data, what for ? what if god is just borred to the point of creating his own dream. ho wait. for me this is the "real story", but every story could be, this is why humans can be so deluded. Or "god". god is still a bit bored though, so he created more simulation to expand his own imagination just because he is bored. makes sense to me, especially if I m god, would explain almost everything that happen'd ok back to the dream

every form of talk is a sub form of cult ? don't you think so ? doesn't have you friends who try to convince you about something ? you try to get people on your perspective, or eating an idea. It's always about being a cult and facing others.

hahahahaha I m seriously laughing man, thanks what if you love cult leader ?

it's you who create value. so you have your answer I suppose. I m about to read more nietzshe tonight, I m weirdly driven to do it again. There is meaning in those books for my own reality and my own LP, I can just feel it, can't explain. go for the book you have a sense for, don't read mindlessly because that "reading = better me" no you read as if you wanted to play this video games you always wanted as a kid. If not, why read ? ( just my perspective ) , this sentence call'd me back. I want to know more. @MarkusSweden I don't have a gf, problem solved

yep, I think I get that, only me is the only lord of my sheep. It's all about reading the layer for yourself, there is no truth, there is billions, and there is as many lies. “There are no facts, only interpretations.” F. Nietzshe, I like him, but even him can be a trap. it's all about what creates our mind with the lens of an "identity"

we don't want to escape, escape is fear based, we want to face it. psychedelic and weed are not escape for instance ( not to me ).. my mind is always escaping without substance, I use substance to enjoy reality and face it. Maybe I m the only one ? I don't do alcohol for instance since years, I don't see the point at all. Everyone who is in a belief system is as deluded as a guy on drug, it's only a notion, drug doesn't even exist, that's a human assumption about the nature of external things in reality. Yes there is substance who seams to trick what we call consciousness, but is it wrong ? moral would tell us, yes, but everyone know that moral is bullshit human delusion. eating the same shit everyday has a substance impact on the mind, even if you can't notice it

just good vibe to walk on the path ( sorry no real lyrics, I don't like them, they confine the mind )

Chomsky love this one.

find an answer--

become chirurgian and try to save brain tumor with herbal tea ( just a joke ) wishful remedies now author imagine adhd is real and not real. ( cause it like this ) you just lack of goal in society ( and so don't build your life upon this : create habit etc.. ) and there is billion of reason you can't do what you want. - sleep - food - belief system - anxiety related ( subconscious need who are not fulfil ) pack your shit, and every bad thought that happen to your conscious, deal with it as far as you can. - meditation / breaking reaction pattern ( I m not really of this kind as I listen 5 hours a day eyes closed on music, but it work ) I patched adhd with weed for a time, but that's not a sustain solution ( as a musician I could ) makes me a good slave though I don't have this apathic effect everyone seem to have. ( if you want to slave around weed help real "adhd", calm the mind. give you another perspective and "well being" ) there is nothing to cure if you don't want to "succeed in the capitalism paradigm" ( this is what people in spiritual world think will cure your "adhd" yes they are right, if you forget about everything society has to offer adhd become "nothing" in the real sense, you're effectively absolutely not "sick" adhd is people who don't work well at their place in the system. so you're adhd, because you lack of something, a bit of stimulation maybe ? handle coke to kid ( it's the true definition of what society see in people that they call adhd ) they don't care makes you well being, they care make the system well being. the cure is a belief system out of capitalism or "above", but don't hope to be a productive worker, you will not. You can be a good thinker, and if you want "sell it" you can probably make it without putting "physical effort" or at list, the less you can. no matter the path you choose, they will always be a price and a gain. maybe you can cure something that never existed to fit, but no one on earth can tell you how, this is the trick. and yes you're ADHD, and not adhd, if you ask me, how can I be a productive slave, the answer is probably, never without tcheating. But guess what, this is better than working 14h a day, it's all a matter of building your own recipe for life. if you want my advice, live from your perspective, integrate what you think matter, patch, correct, work, patch, correct, work and learn to own your life ( takes years, depend where you come from and how you'll integrate idea/concept/paradigm shift ) but we all change, maybe time will help you, don't judge yourself with the blindness of others it's a hero journey to be, don't even count on my words to help, that's just harmonic content, you're the only one leading the bass.

I did have non duality experience/ego death. weird I had the same type of experience, but then I decide to rule the world and didn't feel love more than 5 days after, just before I realize alone that everything was probably "a case" a modulation, in the billion of possibility and non sense of all of this "illusion" how the universe could be this or that. Why did I put me in this game, yes maybe death is an illusion from the human existence, what was there before "me" ? did I ever existed before ? did I'll exist after ? I don't know, probably and don't care too much. I m not sure you can transcend your body out of this reality if you don't fullfil what you're here for. and we are all here for a reason, some do LSD and know that they have family to bring here, some take LSD and know that they have to lead humanity. Maybe I m full of delusion, but who can claim here that he is more true than me ? if I m god, and this is my game, everything is allowed no action is wrong, no one is punishing me but myself I can become what I want limited to my imagination ( imagination is only the addition of all the things I transcend in "here" ) my human belief and my old identity are maybe wrong, but if I m god, I don't care being human. On the contrary now I find that people are really PNJ and that their goal is even more pointless than mine. I can get all I want to the maximum of this imagination game. Why I shouldn't ? If I m the ruler in the dream, there is no "wrong belief" I can put kids at work, what's the problem ? moral is coming from my imagination. If Hitler and Gandhi are in my body, what's wrong. Non duality tell us that Hitler is Gandhi. And Mandela is george bush. could there be an evil enlightment ? I don't relate to my old identity but now I want to create a godly one, above the dream. a new identity completely designed by myself born in this reality, there is this energy inside me who never left, you call it ego ? I call it the energy transcended by god. it's a call for power and this call tell me that I if nothing is real, so nothing is wrong

So I watched a guy ( and he talks about you leo ) why ? Because like LSD, I m not sure to have a spiritual experience, you see I m really a big nihilist/skeptical ( I mean, my core identity ) And finding 5 MeO DMT in France, is not a thing allowed, even basic dmt ( I never did ), maybe I'll watch for a guy a friend know about, who use the unbright internet.. but not sure he will help me. or contemplation of death/yoga/meditation could be a best technique ? ( as I know what I aim for )

ok this is exactly what I don't want, I m a player, I love to play this is how god made me. my LP is probably as you can see, far from being a monk... I still have life to live, at 25 I have lived absolutely nothing but illusion and thinking matter. I lived 40 000 hours and more in front of a computer I m probably twice disconnected from reality as "normal being", and I used it like the soma Aldous Huxley was thinking about ( beside it isn't a substance ) I used thinking to tame my feeling. We all are only feelings. but I respect people who pursue their path and believe in it, really great people I m just a part of this giant game puzzle, I m aware of my role, why I m here ? I still don't have my answer, but be sure I'll left every attachement to "me" when I have the answer to" why me" ? lost in my own maze and here is probably not my road. I'll be enlightened maybe when I'll fully embody my suffering. Please watch all this movie, I know what is it all about. But I shouldn't have known. Bom yeoreum gaeul gyeoul geurigo bom ( Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring ) very spiritual movie I watched years ago. it's all about the journey and the circle. But I m still probably killing my own frog, so you see there is many things I shoud live before my return. I think I get a part of it, it's a delusion, I was thinking to find higher answer, but all there is, is the higher answer I can find in myself, delusion or not. Who told you that the journey will be easy, I m a part of your own shadow