Hello. My name is Grant, I'm 20, and I'm from Vegas. I've been meditating daily for over a year, and practicing Kriya for 3 months. My psychedelic experience includes over a dozen trips mainly on LSD or 2-cb.
My family owns a cabin in Utah situated on an acre of lush woodlands next to a large flowing creek. It's beautiful and serene- the perfect place for meditation, contemplation, relaxation, and tripping.
Being my first retreat, I just wanted to get a taste of solitude, longer periods of meditation, take a break from marijuana, think about life, and relax into being.
I used my phone for an audiobook (Frankenstein for an online class), to record some song ideas (I sing), and to take some pictures of flowers (I study herbal science/naturopathy). I read a dream-hacking booklet and a bit of a kriya book. Took a few notes. Fapped once mid-retreat. Practiced hatha yoga daily. No other distractions.
I ate once a day at 9pm. I think this helped encourage that feeling of emptiness throughout the day, and idk about you guys but I can't meditate for shit after I eat.
Techniques: kriya 3x a day, vipassina, and a novelty of mine: espresso shot then blindfolded reclined dark room meditation concentrating on nothingness.
*** 4-aco-DMT trip report on Day 7
Day 1-3
Meditated a total of 5-6 hours a day
Monkey mind slowed down a lot by the third day. It was really funny seeing how addicted I am to just doing things. "Grant go work out, go watch a movie, Grant ask that cashier out and fuck her, go find some weed, go read that entire book on bird identification".
Many semi-mindful breaks wandering the property or wildlife watching.
I was pretty exhausted with meditation by the last sit of each day.
Day 4 (July 4th)
I woke up feeling dull and empty as hell, sat down for vipassina, but couldn't be fucked meditating at all. I just rolled over on the carpet, stared at the wall, and fell asleep for a nice long depression nap. Then I had a lucid dream I was giving Leo a ride somewhere around Vegas, that actually brought my spirits up lol. In the dream he was taking suggestions so I said make a trippy video game and host workshops in Vegas. That reminded me of a crazy telepathic dream I had before.. Which inspired me to look into a dream-tripping booklet I brought. I'll be testing some "oneirogens" soon. If you're interested: http://oneironauticum.com/oneirogens/
Lots of insights and ideas about my life today. I took a couple notes.
The day before leaving for my retreat I met a really amazing girl, so I couldn't help thinking about her.
***I practiced only Nadi, Ujjayi, and Talabya Kriya until this day- where I finally started pranayama. I think this was integral to my breakthrough 3 days later.
That night was 4th of July, and in Brain Head they put on a huge fireworks show. I was going to go see it, but took a wrong turn on the way there from my cabin... I was feeling out of it... I ended up pulling over next to a lonely lake, where I decided to just sit and eat on the quiet shore. I remember pondering existence as I watched billions of stars explode the sky above. This contrasted deeply with the distant festive commotion and colorful lights from parties across the lake. I can't quite describe how I felt, but I'm glad it turned out that way.
Day 5
Dosed 15mg of 4-aco-DMT. I allergy tested this substance a week prior, but this was my first real trip attempt. After about an hour of coming up and squirming around Martin Ball symmetrical-style on the floor/couch, trippy thoughts, slight visuals, I then leveled off and realized this was a small dose for me.
Spent the rest of the day giggling and being grateful as hell for my life. It was wonderful to just enjoy doing nothing, smiling and laughing from realizing I can be perfectly happy by myself, without requiring anything or anyone. Being grateful for self-actualization/consciousness and how I could of just as easily been completely ignorant to this work, living an entirely different life.
Walking around appreciating flowers, trees, deers and squirrels, balancing on the smooth rocks in the creek, being in the moment, doing whatever I want.
Day 6
Kriya sessions, not much other meditation.
Lots of life contemplation.. Time passes so slow. Every 3 days feels like a week.
Went on a beautiful hike around a lake. I've never felt this lucid/peaceful in my entire life. I felt extremely healthy.
***During one of my Kriya sessions I noticed my hands involuntarily tense in a certain way but I thought it was nothing.
Day 7 (Trip Report on 7/7)**
Today I tripped again. I wanted to account for tolerance plus add a little more. 4-aco is one of the few psychedelics I don't get nauseous on. Also from memory of my one trip on shrooms, I can concur that 4-aco-DMT gives a similar or even identical flavor to that of mushrooms.
12:00- I drank 50mg 4-aco-DMT with some tea inclusive of lions mane, and took a hit from a CBD vaporizer to help with pre-trip anxiety.
After dosing, I did my first Kriya routine of the day. It was pretty half assed because of anticipation of the trip.
12:30- I go outside and throw a big blanket out on the grass in the middle of the property. I lay down spread eagle, with the intention of coming up while watching the clouds and in nature. I lay in symmetry.
Now unfolds the most amazing experience of my life to date. And I have had many beautiful psychedelic experiences, also scary mindfucks that I got a lot out of, but nothing compared to the awe and delight I got out of the next three hours.
1:00- After casually laying out enjoying the environment for about a half hour, I start coming up and notice the clouds start to swirl. I'm expecting a trip similar to my other outdoor experiences. Then just for fun and curiosity I start doing some spinal breathing, visualizing energy rising up through my chakras, ujjayi breaths. I focus on my third eye a little bit. I am ultra relaxed and have a strong intention to surrender and just be present.
Within 2 minutes of doing this, my arms start to tense, my fingers start to situate into a certain mudra, and my eyes and awareness LOCK onto my third eye. There's no way I can accurately describe my amazement with what starts to happen.
My hips suddenly start involuntarily shaking and bouncing, and I feel a lot of energy flaring from the bottom of my spine. As this begins to happen, I'm overcome by this wonderful feeling of awe and bliss. I mean BLISS!!!! Like I've never felt before- I start to laugh from amazement at the fact that my body is just moving by itself!? I have read about energy purges that psychedelics or kundalini activations can induce, but I've never experienced anything of the like- so it was really like WHOAAAA WTFFFF YESSSSSSS!!!!!!!
My tongue involuntarily curls backward, and as this happens I start doing the most exorcist looking shit on the ground. I do all these symmetrical stretches: with my legs, arms, back, neck- all the while I am laughing my ASS off and CRYING tears of joy. Definitely looked possessed. I was very concerned with the chance of one of the neighbors (which were probably in earshot) disturbing me. But with that fear, I just surrendered more, and the more I let go of fear, the more energy would just geyser up from my abdomen.
I experienced these EPIC HUGE yawns, where it would start at the base of my spine, then I'd feel an electric current go up through my neck at the top of the yawn, and my entire head and skull would violently vibrate as it felt like all the energy collected there.
I have rudimentary experience with Kriya, kundalini energy, chakras, etc. and so during this time I really just kind of let my body do it's thing and intuitively went with the energy. Whenever it would sort of calm down, I would voluntarily breath into my abdomen, and the waves would start again.
I didn't feel like I was tripping, which was odd- I felt very primal, but very myself, very centered in my nature it felt like, wild, ancestral, like being compelled by something "beyond me" even though it felt 100% me. In general my thoughts felt very integrated with my body, and my mind wasn't in control. It was observing, still commenting, but not distracting or compelling. Very very cool. I can see the appeal of being in a state like that all the time.
Fractal CEVs
At some point it starts pouring rain, but I didn't give a fuck, it felt great and completely in sync with the trip.
I've never had a full body orgasm, but I would imagine it would be something like this haha.
This went on for the ENTIRE trip - 3 hours straight of just blissful shaking, stretching, breathing, RELEASING. It was exhausting yet energizing, like sex. At some point I was compelled to sit up in full meditation posture, and the process continued. I did dozens of mudras, which blew my mind. I was also compelled to shove my tongue up my nasal pharynx with my fingers, and the instant it touched behind my uvulae an orgasmic wave surged up through my neck.
Some spontaneous spitting and burping.
Enormous feelings of release- I even noticed insecurities and odd childhood memories coming up. I just felt myself letting go of anything inauthentic and like zooming into my core. It was like I was letting pent up energy crack out, arise, then release and die.
***I've never felt so liberated in my life, but I should mention that all of this was completely in duality. I've never had a non-dual experience. But I am definitely looking forward to one. I am now extremely motivated to dive deeper into Kriya.
4:00- I finally stood up, and was hardly in control of my body. I pronounced this very regal posture, and my hands were guiding me and moving by themselves. I felt like I had just went through 100 therapy sessions, 100 spa sessions, 100 yoga sessions, and meditated for 100 hours. So freaking good, the best I've ever felt, like floating on clouds.
4:20- I went back to my cabin, noticed the time, and to my amazement my "hands" chose a tea and made it by themselves! My doing-mind was completely absent, I was just watching in awe.
4:45- I returned to voluntary control of my body, back to baseline, but still glowing with amazement.
My evening Kriya session also engendered the same shaking energetic waves, and my eyelids fluttered upon focusing on my third eye.
Day 8-9
Kriya
Trip/K-activation integration
Went on a couple beautiful hikes
Clarity on some important life decisions, purpose, relationships
Preparation for my return home the next morning, July 10th
Overall there were many moments of extreme peace, tranquility, and lucidity. There were also many moments of restlessness, emptiness, and anxiety. I kept Kriya up everyday but gave up on other meditations after day 5. Definitely dicked around just wandering the cabin and property a lot, but I don't think that was a waste. This was a great introduction to retreats. It was very cool to get some actual results from this stuff. After all this was my first breakthrough experience I've ever had with anything energetic or spiritual. I'm happy it was such a positive release. From Leo's descriptions I assumed all of this work would be just a whole lot of shit dying and suffering to get results- and I'm sure that's especially true when it comes to non-dual things, which I know I am naive to, but I feel like this really grew me a lot and it wasn't like I had to kill myself for something to happen. But speaking of killing my self I really wanna try 5-meo now.
Ever since that experience, my Kriya practice has been feeling powerful and looking really promising. I mean I JUST started with pranayama, but every session now I get involuntary movements and blatant awareness of energy that was absent prior to this experience. I also recently started Maha Mudra and am refining my routine through Santana Gamana's books.
It's interesting that I didn't want weed at all on the retreat, but now that I'm back home I'm starting to want it to counteract stress from school and fam (my parents just told me 2 days ago they're getting divorced). I think keeping up kriya/meditation will be important for the coming future as I want to support them while keeping up with everything else I'm doing in life.
Lastly, I now notice that throughout the day and especially during emotional experiences, my third eye just tingles a lot more. It's a very sensitive area that I become aware of all the time now.
I would appreciate any advice, feedback, recommendations, criticisms, all that jazz. Would you call that a Kundalini activation? Thanks everyone!
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