Maarten

WARNING!!!! TURN AROUND NOW!!!! TO EVERYONE WHO IS SANE OF MIND!!! THESE PEOPLE HAVE ALL LOST THEIR MIND!!! GET OUT NOW WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!! I CHOSE TO GET OUT STILL WHILE I STILL COULD, AND I RECOMMEND EVERYONE ELSE HERE TO DO THE SAME!!! QUICKLY!!! YOU HAVE NOT MUCH TIME LEFT!!! GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!

I'm openly admitting this to myself here, hoping it resonates with a lucky fellow. I tried to do everything right and I found answers to all of the questions that I was looking for, and all only to realise that I've cheated WAY too much by not making myself sick enough. I have become waaay too agressive about this path to enlightenment, and this has resulted in me becoming kinda conscious (well conscious of god), but the problem is that I am too agressive still, and if I don't quickly make myself more sick than I currently am I might die or accidentally be responsible for people getting killed or causing a lot of harm by not having enough discipline iver myself. I don't know why I am sharing this. Can anyone recommend me ways in which I can make myself more sick?

@ajasatya Nature is a bitch, and I wish she were more of a freaky witch. Wine is too bitter, I want sweet grapes.

I imagine a woman is a great way to learn what it is like to at receive gentle feedback, and grumble at one another. And when you are both happy, you can exchange sweet and encouraging words. When you are sad, you can be compassionate for one another. When you are afraid, you can be firm with one another, or help one another figure things out. I personally really want myself a good woman, because I would like to have a person to laugh with, rather than to drink all of the bitter wines of life completely by myself and "for myself". Could she take the bitterniss away? Loneliness really kills me sometimes. And I'd love to have a dance partner who hypnotizes me with her beauty, and kisses me to sleep.

Have you guys (who run this forum) ever thought about age-restricting this forum? Or why would you/would you not do that? It seems like some of this information could be very scary or even traumatizing if accidentally read by kids who are too young to understand some of this. What measures are in place to prevent this from happening? Or is it a conscious decision to not do this at all? Just asking... I'm both curious and concerned.

Ouch, but you're right. I was arrogant. I was letting out a lot of repressed criticisms, arrogance, and judgements, and I am grateful that you wished to listen to me and give me your feedback. Thank you for the feedback sir. I have been put in my place.

Also, yeah. I know. I can be a bit cocky/arrogant sometimes. I'm still working through some stage Beige-Red stuff. 'Scuse me for that. I'm not a parent yet (luckily), and I try to strategically keep my responsibilities small for now. I will try to not bother too many people on these forums (or outside of it), with my clumsy convictions and beliefs. Have a good day!

Very good point! It actually makes a lot of sense if you put it that way. I didn't stop and consider that the things that traumatize us are the things that we start to consider are truths, but are actually lies we have been told as children, and that always happens because our parents aren't careful enough with us. In which case, my point also still stands, but I guess Leo you're still right too that there might not be very good ways to "protect" any of this information from children. It might do some harm, but it will probably do more good than harm that it causes. One thing that personally does kind of bother me is that some of the first YouTube videos you are posted are VERY crude (to say the least), and they are actually not very helpful to newcomers (in my opinion). They are a bit of a kick under the but, while to some very low stages of consciousness (I actually encountered this forum when I was stuck in stage Beige for a large part believe it or not!) it can be very frustrating to hear about a guy talk about stage Orange ideals like hard work, when they have no one to care for them still. It can be more helpful (I think if the first thing they encounter is something encouraging, rather than something that advanced for their stage). Just a thought, do with it as you please. I am not the boss of anybody. This game is not about me, you thought me that well enough at this point (or I guess I did).

Be careful. This is still advertising. Don't be fooled.

Was it okay to post this post? Also, I could... I could play video games I could go pick-up girls I could play theater (make fun of people) I could watch the news and worry about the shit that goes on in the world and judge and criticise it I could sit still and meditate I could contemplate things of death I could tell people how they should do things (already am sort of) I could play loud music in public places I could be an ass to people I could start a manipulative business I could gorge myself on junkfood I could ignore shy people when they talk to me I could fuck myself I could fuck girls I could be a comic None of these will win me friends, but they will make me more sick, and the greatest sickness will lead to to the purest health.

Also, what is up with stage Orange. I really want to avoid it, but it seems like there is no way. It seems like stage Orange teaches you the lies that you are going to have to admit to yourself were lies in stage Green, no?

Looks more like an example of a person who does not embrace their feminine side to me, rather than someone who is authentically expressing themselves, no?

I got the idea to compare some screenshots of Leos' face from different Actualized.org videos to see how his face and in particular his expressions have changed over the years. Each set of images is from a different "era" of Actualized.org: the old-school self-improvement stuff, the beginnings of spirituality, and the "post-enlightenment" period. 2013 (src) Looking a bit tense and somewhat judgmental. 2015 (src) Compared to the first set, Leo seems much more playful and happy here, as if he's taking himself less seriously. I'd label him as a tease. 2019 (src) Finally, (and it seems that this most prominently changed when he had his 13 back-to-back awakening experience) he's starting to show more compassionate in his face. My intention was to see if there is actually a noticeable physical difference with all this enlightenment work, and even though some of it might be caused by better lighting, it looks to me like there is actually a really big difference too. One that seems to match up with the type of content he has been producing over the years.

What about if you want something, but are afraid to get hurt due to prior experiences? Breaking out might not be as simple as staying in your comfort zone, especially not if you've started to believe that your fears are actuality.

Hmm, I don't think I quite understand. Even though truth might not be the average of all perspectives, every perspective might be true relative to certain desires not? So doesn't that make truth ultimately subjective? And since reality is logical by very definition as everything is connected, doesn't that mean that a logical connection is possible between any two concepts? You would only compromise if your intelligence is limited would you not? If you had complete access to infinite intelligence, that would mean that you could instantly solve any conflict by creating logical connections between them that show that they're both true. Sort of like when you think you want 2 different things, e.g. you want to live both an expressive life and a passive life of meditation. One might think that those are conflicting interests only if they didn't see that they are complementary truths. One wouldn't make much sense without the other, and thus they can not just coexist, but they actually create a richness in what would otherwise be a rather bland experience (only appreciation would be rather colourless, and only expressivity wouldn't be very worthwhile). It just seems to me that there is always an integration possible that includes two seemingly contradictory goals, in a manner that doesn't exclude anything (making it not a compromise, but a win-win situation). Since reality is completely logical (meaning any statement can only be derived from a prior statements), doesn't that mean that complete falsehood is metaphysically impossible? I.e. regardless of how inclusive this statement is of other perspectives, it is still true relative to the goals of perspective that imagined them. As such, when you say that the goal of the devil to spread ignorance, I interpret that as that their goal is to raise confusion (muddying of the waters as you call it). Yet what I'm claiming is that for every attempt the devil makes to do this, it should be possible that to instead of fighting his claims through force (which is the very same process the devil uses right?), instead an integration with this truth is possible that creates a higher truth which is inclusive of both truths, making it impossible for anyone listening to fight this truth because there is no logical denying it possible. The ultimate extrapolation of this would be a truth so all-inclusive that it includes everything that can ever be said, every story that can ever happen, etc. If this is the way reality works, then isn't a devil nothing but a limited intelligence with attachments that keep it from integrating with the rest of reality? Of course he would kick and scream if you try to convince him to surrender, that is only understandable considering his perspective. Yet my claim is that there is no need to fight his goals if only your solution is intelligent enough (and I guess it's more of a faith, as my intelligence is limited, so I can't have a complete awareness that what I'm claiming is true, but it's logically impossible to disprove it). Another implication of what I'm saying is that there are no evil-doers, only needy seekers of limited intelligence that waltz over other perspectives because of their limitedness. This is because in this reality there is no effect without cause, so even the devil must have a reason for his devilishness, which is fundamentally that he is in a seemingly eternal pain.

@Leo Gura but is it not a shortcut to discredit the guy? Not saying that I agree with him, because I see the validity of what you're saying. But by attacking his authority, aren't you refraining from building bridges between his perspective and yours? If you're not being constructive, aren't you being ignorant?

I'm actually quite curious about this topic myself, as I've been pondering this question for quite a while now too. To keep myself moving forward, I interact with the world using specific methods. I try to finish whatever I start. If I fail though (which is usually because I didn't think it through that well from the start), I don't chastise myself and remind myself that you always have the ability to look for and even create new opportunities if you decide to try again If I find something interesting, I deal with it straight away. E.g. if I see a workshop on Krav Maga, and I want to attend it really badly, I could ... a. sign up for it straight away b. pick a date when I will be available and schedule a reminder in my calendar to sign up for it (or re-assess it) then c. write it down on a list of things I find interesting so that my mind is at ease, and I can always come back at it. I like to go out into the world. Something that I struggle with a lot is loneliness, and I have a habit of isolating myself because I have low self-esteem. This means that I sometimes purposefully not go to places like clubs or crowded parties, because I'm afraid to make a fool of myself. One way I cope with this is by doing little things every now and then (things I like to do), like studying in a public library instead of at home, and going bouldering (a sport I actually enjoy doing). Have compassion for yourself, seek out reasonable challenges, and even allow yourself to have shitty periods too. Whether you like them or not, they happen, and resisting them won't make them go any faster, and actually makes the experience worse. I do regular bodywork. One of the best practices I've taken on from Actualized.org is that I do regular bodywork stuff. I probably use the term incorrectly, but what I mean is that I regularly attend Holotropic Breathwork workshops, and do psychedelic trips. I like to see these as exercise on steroids, they release tension from your body (just like exercise), but on a much deeper level than just exercise has ever been able to do for me. There are probably many more ways of doing this, but these two work for me. These are just 4 things I do personally, but something I couldn't stress enough is that only you know what is best for you. Despite the good intentions of others, only you know what you need at any time (even if it is just at an intuitive level). Experiment lots, that gives you options so that you can pick what works for you and discard the rest.

No indeed, he doesn't. I altered the images using something called the FaceApp. I explained my reasoning in a comment As for is not being a very accurate representation, well... basically what @Shadowraix said. It wasn't intended to be. I picked 3 of each to at least introduce some diversity, but it's by no means empirical evidence of anything, just something I thought to be mildly interesting.

Yeah, I used an app called FaceApp with an old age filter (my reason is that it accentuates the subtle expressions in the face really well). Actually, I put that in the post originally, but it got lost as I had to rewrite the post several times due to some technical issues (don't post using your phone).

Well... If you hate your character in the video game your still not going to have a very nice time now are you?

High five! Had that happen to me too. Ate about every junk food with meat imagineable in a week's time.

In your late videos on spirituality, you regularly make statements along the lines of "you are consciousness" or "God is your true nature". For me, this statement has had some problematic consequences, which is that it tricked my egotistical self into thinking that it is somehow grande or perfect and that it needs to become the "perfect being". This notion of being god has kept me stuck for quite a while, and only after carefully reading and contemplating about SantataGamana's stance about absolute non-duality have I come to realize that this desire for achieving higher levels of consciousness was actually just feeding my ego, preventing me from actually spiritually advancing. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't recall hearing you talk about the importance of surrender in your videos. I'm genuinely curious. What are your thoughts on this topic and do you have plans to make a video about it?

I'd say that it is mostly up to you to find out what works well for you. For me, I find that it is very easy to fall off track when I don't build a habit into my everyday life, so I would do affirmations every day back when I still used them. The reason I stopped using them was because I found that affirmations didn't have the impact I wanted them to have, not even after using them for over half a year. My advice? See what works well for you.

For me, it has mostly been a constant process of trial and error. I tried different things and got different results with each one. From all the things I tried so far, the most important recurring element appears to be to work on the problem directly and honestly (avoiding self-deception), with patience and self-love. Beating yourself up about something is not going to make anything better. It might get you some better performance in the short-term, but it will eat at you in the long run. A good topic about this issue has been posted Martin123, which you can read here. I urge you to read that as they do a much better job at explaining shadow work than I personally can.

After you have read a book, I urge you to ask yourself how much of it you still remember after a month or two. Probably that is not all that much. Being perfectionistic about missing all the tiny details is something I used to struggle with myself when reading books, but really what you want to be getting from any book is really the big ideas. There is no real purpose to taking notes of something when you already understand it. A good practice you could put into place right now is to ask yourself after reading a few chapters what you have just read, and then see what the big ideas in it were. Generally, the information in non-fiction books can be divided into question & answers (the meat), and explanations & examples (really just filler content). There is a very good book that covers exactly this topic on Leo's booklist. I highly recommend checking it out