Karla

7/365 Super late and ugh just kinda off right before and after my videos argh. I think I did too much research late in the day... Perhaps. Working on my speech/ core message and going back and forth on what I reeeally want to be focused on with them. Thinking of connecting cognitive dissonance & power leaks as it relates to entrepreneur health and performance. Meh.

I feel like Dame Dash said some good stuff about being solid within himself & having an internal code of “ethics”! Both a huge aid in his success. He also values experience over money, which seems like an evolved view of success in comparison to what we see celebrated normally. Even his ideas of what he wanted to do next seemed a bit evolved (use more of his brain power), however he might be looking in the wrong direction (outside of himself). Definitely coming back to him as an example of full expression. The best rappers and hip hop artists are very well expressed— my favorite thing. They are usually great examples of internal solidarity/ connectedness/ internal Wholeness. They give zero fucks. Looks like confidence, really it’s wholeness/ self love. Main message distilled from Dame Dash- Do YOU, follow your gut, marry yourself. He is an interesting example/ manifestation of this way of living. Our schizophrenic society did not dictate his life. I also LOVE the specific example he gave around “perspective” —so true. Whether something is good or bad, ultimately we decide how it effect us and our behavior. So clear and shiny.

@Destiny yesss try again-- maybe the same time everyday before brushing your teeth or after. It's been eye opening. It forces you to be úber aware of your thoughts/ actions in a weird way. For me, I cant keep doing some things that are way out of alignment with what I know to be true. Great way to increse self esteem-- be more conscious of self, of course. The sentence stems allow that on repeat. Keep me posted. I just started! It's only been a few weeks really.

Day 6 of 365! “Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious.” -Rumi I talked about some of my current cognitive dissonance and how it relates to preserving a reputation/ an outdated persona. Whenever my thoughts linger around my commitments not followed through I feel like a lump. I went ahead and made a commitment, (even though it’s not even hard) so I can keep moving forward and into alignment. Here’s the vid for today... quicki just like this post because I am sleep-typing at the moment.

@LoveandPurpose For me, being overly attached to the outcome. And just over thinking in general. Earlier today I was totally over thinking about something that had just happened until I caught myself-- what a waste to worry about stuff I have zero control over he he.

Interestinggg ? I have a twin sister and technically we have the same personality types BUT we were always effected completely different by experiences. I wonder if this has some bearing... Beyond personality type too.

@Zigzag Idiot oh no. Everyone is sick around me as well but with some type of sinus virus. I seemed to have escaped thus far. Feel better soon.

@Serotoninluv I like that, bowl of awesome ha ha and thanks! Soo funny I totally had the "I'm too inflexible for yoga" idea for awhile too but then I realized yoga would actually help that lol.? I saw on one of your posts that you were exploring art-- pretty excitinggg! Love that you are gifting yourself with that space to explore.❤

Hey thanks-- I have had trouble sleeping for the last few weeks. Interesting... I figured I could be writing more and emptying more each day with getting more done. I am excited because I have had this on the back burner awhile ya know-- so really getting clearer on the self esteem/ lack of connectedness issue is very stimulating. Kinda like gotcha lol! Thank you so much- I have seen that Dr. Tart speaking on consciousness before on video but only made the connection when you sent that article. Something is SOO gratifying about reading his article and seeing that connection spoken about from a slightly different perspective. ☺

5/365 My awareness around being in integrity increases every day and yesterday's discovery was YUGE for me. So many connections around: cognitive disonance, integrity, self esteem, alignment and self love/ wholeness. I felt at one in my video too. So cool to have the Charles Tart work to research as well. It's so obvious to me that as many examples as possible are needed, different descriptions, like potato vs. potata-- the connections happen for me in a language I undeestand and only then can I grasp someone else's way of saying it. The more diverse descriptions available with examples/ myths on a topic-- the easier it is for different people to also understand in their own language. ? Video... I started the self esteem research/challenge earlier there. Which is why I mention it being day 20.

OH MY GOSH!! Amazing link @Zigzag Idiot!! So good. Thank you. Seriously so grateful— I find it so interesting that I will reference a piece in my journal and vlog ha ha. I absolutely love gathering different perspectives especially on this topic. His is quite eloquently described in a way that is simple yet profound. Love that example of the baby being encouraged to say some things not others. There is SO much said in examples such as this, and nobody EVER talks about it. So gratifying to read it and resonate with the truth in there. And THANKS for the video feedback. :-) I was actually just wondering if it even matters to track on the forum and of course it is, I will definitely dig into more from Charles Tart!

I totally think he read you and THEN shared with you ha ha. Love that he was your barber— better than some old gossip or boring chats about the super bowl ha ha. I always gain some insights from people like that... and it’s so rare that I have randoms actually want to talk about philosophy or real life stuff.

4/365 Integrity|Cognitive Disonance |Self Esteem & Self Love I had a huge aha this morning about cognitive disonance and self esteem and how it's the same as lack of integrity when I look closely at in myself. When ever we are internally divided, internally at war because we either cannot accept something about ourselves OR we fail to act in what we know, it results in low self esteem. I noticed too how we actually learn cognitive dissonance- to know one thing and do another in our split culture. I still have some annoyance about this... I just wanna call it out and make fun of it, argh. Today, I spoke up about some small things for a gig that possibly seem petty (the space is kinda dirty lol) but I cannot handle it-- it was small but the small things are the hardest to speak up about because they are small LOL. But I fuckin brought it up and ahhhhh it's such a load off petty or not he he. Nathaniel Branden is genius with this self esteem stuff. Video for today: I am ahead on this because I started early...

3/365 Yesss, my thingie doesn't say newbie amymore lol. Soo, about today-- nailed it. I asked for all da thingsss. For help. For space for my event. Feeling super good on my vids but I am still avoiding something. Eek. More on that tomorrow. Vid from yesterday... https://youtu.be/DbZA5-37F4I Part of my self esteem sentence challenge is to get more me on video and less uptight. Yesterday was pretty natural feeling so yea. It was enjoyable reading a poem that it made me order Essential Rumi (so I can have Rumi Tuesday) but no more book purchasing for awhile. At least 30 days.

@Wyze It's the idea that there is no conflict if only one person is "fighting". We're all learning... Practicing isn't always easy for me to be honest lol but we just keep practicing. Especially if I get really caught up in what's going on. Yoga teaches non-judgement too, just realized that because I taught yoga this morning he he.

Day 2/365 Sharing the reflection exercise: In reflection of the day, if I were more conscious I would: just surrender. Let go, relax, release the outcome and play/ be played. All I really want is expression so yum. I spent forverrrrr on some non-fun techie stuff today early on and it just blew my vibe. Then I was late to my favorite class at the gym (Body Combat) so the first half of the day was a blower. Felt like I could have gotten more done though. One really good thing: Apartment secured— exactly what I wanted, so that was a good highlight that confirmed my reflection. More so an accountability entry today. I actually love doing the sentence completion but feel like a bump on a log when I can’t maintain that flow feeling after I finish the sentences. Perhaps can move the activity or repeat it after boring tasks in the future??

THANK YOUUUUU— @d0ornokey I love the book. I just ordered the other one The Art of Living Consciously. I caught myself getting mechanical early on and soooo get that!! LOVE your suggestions. I feel like they are all familiar in some way but with a new light from Nathaniel Branden. He is a brilliant dude. I’ve been quoting him like mad ha ha. I particularly like noticing the patterns. Super good for me.

Depends on your intentions with the individual-- if it is someone you care about and desire to have in your life or a close family member, honesty on your part is helpful. Share how you see their behavior in an open way-- "from my view, it seems like you are causing conflict intentionally. I don't want to fight." If it's bad at the root and cannot be solved nor improved, I would exit but you have to decide what's best for you. Conflict has been an amazing opportunity to learn about myself Wyze. Consciousness work makes us get real and everything is kinda consciousness work. Even conflict.

Fascinating! Did you mentuon the book though??

Just want to add that children are curious, I think we are all naturally curious growing up and less fearful as well.

So honestly curiosity helps with everything. Because it assumes nothing while opening us to possibility. You know what happens when we assume he he. I think I am naturally curious and probably what led me into personal development/ reading and even finding this YouTube channel. Test being curious about your aggressiveness. What is there? I may have had some aggressiveness at some point-- like always blowing up? What if conflict was an opportunity?

Honesty. I'm gonna also say, Stephen Covey-- "seek to understand vs. Seek to be understood". I used to be afraid of conflict like a fake nice/ keep the peace person but conflict isn't necessarily bad. Usually being curious to see what is really going on helps a lot. Seeing the root beyond the drama/ emotions of the situation is good if you are self aware enough to see your own emotions and not let them get in the way. Some context might be helpful here... If this is way off.

Hey hey-- sorry that was not clear. The audio book version of this book is on YouTube.

Lol. We're SO spoiled. I don't feel too deprived since there was that political video on the blog.

Yassss. Would. Love. Thissss.