Recursoinominado

Need more info of your situation. For instance, if you are ungrounded, it will make things worse.

I live in Brazil and i don't have access to 5-MeO but i have to DMT, LSD and maybe, with much research, some mushrooms and those should be enough if you use a proper dosage, all of them can induce ego death. Maybe they aren't as potent and deep as 5-MeO but what can i do... I won't risk buying online only to get the federal police delivering it to me lol

Read as many reports as needed, and ask what you want. If you never took any psychedelics, i also recommend you take a small amount first and increase gradually as you are getting familiar with the substance. Better than lots of reading is direct experience BUT i am NOT saying to that research isn't necessary, it is definitely is but it only go so far.

I guess no more leg pains

Let's say that all you see in the world is the suffering of others (all beings), you are HIGHLY empathetic and you see that this suffering is never ending and probably will only get worse, especially close beloved beings like your mother or son, you see AND feel (empaths) what they feel and with it all their suffering and insecurities and you try everything but just seems inevitable that they will not hear you and keep doing what they are doing that is dragging them slowly and steadily into a hellish life until their death. Their happiness is yours and also their suffering that happens to be the 90%. How do you deal with this fact without closing the heart? Do i need to experience enlightenment to see that it "is all perfect"? I understand that it is all an illusion and that you need "suffering" to have "bliss" but i don't feel it and neither the unaware people feel like it is an illusion, they are really suffering and you feel all of it. I find it really hard to cope with it. Makes me isolate myself in order to escape feeling others since it so overwhelming. Especially because i am getting more and more sensitive to energies each day and feel them intensely.

Yes, this is one aspect of it. Its like trying to cross a busy street with someone that you can't touch and they simply stop in the middle of the street, the cars are coming, you are trying to convince the person to move and he simply won't for no reason at all, you see clearly that it will be a disaster and start to freak out yelling at them to move and nothing works. This is how i feel. Right now I have three family members that just stopped in the middle of the busy street blaming everyone for their "inability to move" and all i see is the upcoming tragedy.

I have this "problem" too. Initially, i used self-help in a stage orange way, to improve productivity, social skills, learn pick up, better career. Since i stumbled upon spirituality, enlightenment, nature of reality, all other things seem a waste of time. I kind of isolated myself and see no point in going out drinking or partying or stuff like this. One time i noticed that i with my grandmother, reading a book about love while NOT being fully with her, this was kind of a wake-up call.

I really need to ground myself, any tips? I am making the effort to go to nature as much as possible and be barefoot on the ground. Yeah, that's kind of sad. thank you, this will be my reminder.

The suffering of other IS my direct experience. Shouldn't I believe in my direct experience?

What are your point? If i am not one, i shouldn't listen to what they say? That wouldn't be denial?

What are you saying? I should see past my suffering (that it's also others suffering) first (aka enlightenment)? Can one be separate from the other?

"It is all perfect" isn't denial, it's one perspective (or dimension) and doesn't exclude the previous ones. Bodhisattva see that it's all perfect, see behind the veil but they also recognize that there is suffering in another perspective or dimension so they try to help anyway. Like Buddha that served people all his life after enlightenment but surely knew that it was pointless in some perspective.

What if you can't help other people realize this? What if you KNOW they are suffering and isn't going to get better? Being empath isn't that unique

Doesn't make any difference, its all connected, right know i can't be happy while next to someone that is suffering. And it's not the case that it's just my thoughts, they are really suffering in living a hellish life.

They can't help with anything other than the vipassana technique, the standard answer for any question (even if you said you got enlightened and needed to talk to someone) is: let it go and just focus on your sensations. Believe me, i was going through an extremely rough time, i threw some large amounts of gasoline in my kundalini fire and i didn't know what the fuck was going on, i suppose to feel better after the retreat but i was way worse and no one had any answers besides ignore and continue to meditate. Only several months later i learned about kundalini awakenings and what to do about it, with my own research. Yes, i would love to have some guidance there but i think people put a lot of expectations on the teachers, they might not know much other than the technique. We are in a privileged space with privileged information, most people, even spiritual teachers don't know most of what is discussed here. And i forgot to say that i have a mental disorder history and i simply didn't tell them and that was it. If you are positive that it is in the past, nobody needs to know

I did not said that mental disorders background would make it impossible to complete the retreat, i said that it's understandable that the vipassana organization tries to protect itself from possible trouble. Even if its only one or less percent, a lot of people sit on those retreats and the changes of one of those have a mental breakdown aren't insignificant end they better account for that because one person can shut down a center (like the story i told about the sedatives in the water) and lots of people in need will be affected by it.

Amen, brother!

Bro, did you complete one of those retreats? I consider myself a pretty stable guy due to acquired existential wisdom and i thought i was going to lost my mind on my first retreat, it was hell, i was confronted with lots of deep-rooted issues and there was no place to escape, absolutely no distraction and i was pretty aware of way i was going through that but most people aren't, it is easy to project the hell out of your traumas in this state. They have to protect themselves, they do not do any sort of background check, the staff is only normal people volunteering, all they have to get some sort of notion of you is what you write about yourself.

Well, the course is hardcore on your mental health, you really have to be on top of your game here otherwise you will not finish it. I sat in one course and serve in another. I talked with people with lots of experiences with those courses and they have lots of concerns with those matters because the center can get shut down if someone have some sort of mental breakdown. They told me a story that in one of those courses one guy probably had a neurotic break down and started to get paranoid, he accused the staff for putting sedatives on the center water for the students, he called the cops who showed up and the center was almost shut down. So yeah, better take care with those things. Also, on a side note, i was told that the staff isn't much open minded about drugs like psychedelics and could denied your application because of it.

This make me want to go back to learn game. I was really into it for a long time, had some success, some epic nights on state killing it but i always felt that was somehow kind of "low vibration", i prefer his style. Once i game while high on MDMA and my game was just making everyone feel fucking good, i was genuinely interested in connecting with girls and have a good time. It was awesome, i would like to be like this without the drugs.

Holy shit, this is awesome, wish this guy would have a better marketing though, his sites doesn't explain shit lol

I noticed that a have some sort of success block and i had an insight about the fact that i can't even imagine what someone did to be successful, i grow up in an unsuccessful family and all i see is failure so it is all i know so i simply can't grasp that reality of someone that it is successful. I mean, i know you have to grind some hundreds of boring loneliness hours learning skills and executing your work/art but i feel that i don't have a full grasp of this reality, i never saw anyone studying long hours or whatever. All i see around me is failure and to me is kind of a belief that i am bound to be one. I see a professor in my university, i look at him and his mastery of some subject, i see his successful career, i see his money but i can't even imagine this being me it's like he has something that i don't. I noticed that i self-sabotage a lot and fear failure a lot. How can i change this?

@Nahm From Leo's videos And his life purpose course. I haven't expressed myself properly, what i mean is that in order to be successful, you have to be willing to do what i have said. For instance, i am a law student, it means that in order to succeed, have to be able to sit long boring lonely hours and study the subject BUT if in my mind i can't believe that i can succeed, my brain simply shuts down, my focus is almost non-existant, i become extremely distracted, give up easily, have so much problem to understand the concepts, get anxious so every time i even THINK about studying, my body/mind says "hell no" and i procrastinate like hell, often self-sabotage and when i brute-force my way into studying, every moment is like i described. I spent YEARS of self-development (actually, i discovered the self-help industry when i was trying to solve this puzzle), i grown-up so much but this problem remains and recently i have the fucking insight i needed and came to the conclusion that i stated in my first post. It's a self-image issue, not a logical one. @aurum I will continue to try this although i tried before and didn't helped much since as i stated previously, even if i get to know successful people, i have a really tough time to imagine myself in his place, i noticed that the feeling has this quality of "i am not enough, he/she is different, almost superhuman-like".

@B_Naz I have studied self-development enough to "know" all of this, i know that we all have potential, that's exactly my problem, althought i "know" this, i don't FEEL it, in fact, i feel the exact opposite and tried to use lots of tactics to create success and develop discipline and work ethic but i feel that i am fighting an uphill battle and no matter how much willpower i spent, it is never enough. @Leo Gura Thank you, that's exactly what i need! I was aware of such techniques but i think i never really believe in them. Now i see that i have a problem with self-image (started to read psycho-cybernetics) and visualization could be just what i need. And as i trust that you are a smart person, i will follow your advice, in fact, i started yesterday. @exhale Yeah, i don't know much people to model. I have a best friend that was kind of disciplined as me but has developed an awesome work ethic in the last year (studying 6h to 8h a day, 6~7 days a week), i tried to use him as a model and "fake it until i made it" but i found that i backslide every time. @Feel Good I agree with you, in fact, i have almost completed Leo's life purpose course but i don't think i am ready yet, i have to address this problem of belief, it is not sustainable to try to achieve success with only willpower. @Nahm The thing is, i really believe that i can "get" enlightened in this lifetime but i find it hard to believe that i can have a successful career or something like it. It is illogical, i know, but it is what it is. @Caterpillar I agree with you, in fact, i was guiding my life based on this "truth" so i basically made my spiritual development my main goal (including enlightenment) in order to be happy in all situations and i am kind of successful in this manner BUT i also noticed that i was pursuing enlightenment because i assumed that i would fail at everything else in life (specially career and financially) so i HAD to be happy in all circumstances. I feel that i am bound to be a failure and my life is kind of going in that direction making me fearful, insecure and anxious each day.

I also noticed this, although i am not practicing formal meditation daily, my "spiritual development" has been growing exponentially, not linear. My kundalini is getting crazy (huge energy spikes flowing through my spine and shit like that) lately.