Recursoinominado

I have this problem that i had to deal all my life and that brought me to the self-help world 4~5 years ago but i just feel i haven't improved as much as i need. Basically "i have" crippling ADHD, i know it isn't helpful to brand myself as it can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy but let's say i have all its symptoms. At first, i dealt with it as an organic problem so i tackled it from all directions, cleaned my diet to the max(mostly vegan raw foods), used all sorts of supplements, nootropics, started meditating, forced me to read a lot in order to develop focus. In fact it all helped me a lot with anxiety in general, depression but my ability to focus for a sustained amount of time is just SHIT, my brain is simply all over the place al the time. Recently i started to think this can be an emotional problem, a belief, trauma or something like that. I tried to analyze from all angles, what could be the origin of it but it's hard to pinpoint exactly what. Let's say i have a really messed up family, my mother and father have lots of success barriers and traumas(they also "have crippling ADHD") and i have roughly abused all my life. I have deep abandonment issues, fear of "not being enough", generally i have a poor self-esteem, i usually assume that i can't be successful at anything, i am not competent or even able to be competent, especially due to my history of not being able to follow through with a task that demands cognitive sustained effort for a period of time (like studying, reading, watching some video etc), i get INSANELY anxious when i sit to study(anything, could be a self-help book, for instance), my brain is all over the place, looking or my next bullshit excuse to drop that task, it's a constant battle, every single moment of the task which makes it extremely frustrating and makes everything worse. I also noticed that i have a low tolerance for failure and rejection and constantly unconsciously sabotage myself. I want to say that i am currently taking action at dealing with all my shit and slowly but surely making progress with my past traumas, emotional and energetic blockage, limiting beliefs etc. I started to see the benefits of visualization and hypnosis (which is a visualization with PNL) and have been doing it every day but this "ADHD" seems to be a DEEP problem that i couldn't even touch until today even though it has been my main goal for all those years and without solving this, i have no hope of succeeding at anything, it really can be the difference between a blissful or a hellish life. I would love to hear some opinions on it, i am sure you guys can offer unique and valuable perspectives with practical suggestions.

Yeah, probably you need to release them, try: bioenergetics, TRE(trauma release exercises), reichian therapy, Amanae, hatha yoga, holotropic/shamanic breathing etc.

First of all, thank you all for posting your suggestions, especially @pixelwave for revive this topic, i only saw it now. Recently i took a bite of the bullet as Leo always says and went deeper on my detoxification path, i am eating mostly fruits, juices, herbs and doing some fasting when i can. As result, my health greatly improved, my mind is way sharper and focused, almost no brain fog (which i had for years, especially after every meal, no matter how "healthy" it seems to be) and it is improving each day. I noticed that a fruitarian diet accelerated my "spiritual progress" many folds, especially when coupled with hatha yoga, seems to me that my body is always doing a spiritual, emotional and physical detox since it is all connected. I am shocked (in a positive way) with my progress in little time and only can imagine what kinds of benefits i will reap if i continue with this lifestyle throughout years. I also had a realization that i need to go back to concentration based meditation to cultivate my focus/concentration. Man, thank you for your post, i tried kriya yoga before (with the book in your book list) but i found it stirred up too much energy and emotions in my body at the time making me really anxious, angry, impatient etc. My kundalini is already awakened so, at the time, i was having lots of trouble with if (especially hard to ground myself) so i gave up. Recently i started practicing hatha yoga and i am simply LOVING IT, seriously, turned out i really needed to include my body into this equation and hatha yoga did it perfectly. But when you recommended i felt an intuition that it is time to try it again, i saw the mega-thread and bought the other book recommended in there by SantanaGamana i am excited to apply it About neurofeedback: i have never looked into it and i found it promising! With a little research, i found a place in my city (i live in Brazil) and i plan to invest in it in the future (i don't have money for it yet), it seems to have great potential, especially on the long run. Thank you, again, for your suggestions, both have so much potential, i am excited to try them

I practiced pickup for some time last year and every time i got in the flow state (we call it "getting in state") was kind of a peak experience in itself, i felt just invincible, with close to zero social anxiety, it was one of the best feelings i ever experienced in my life, a deep sense of freedom, certainty, confidence that women can smell from a mile away. I came from a fucked background of awful low self-esteem and limiting beliefs so this was a really big deal for me, especially because most of the time i was sober lol Not even to say the successes i had actually hooking up with women this way. One time i was as a concert and approached a couple of females, they weren't beautiful, i didn't give a fuck i went for a threeway kiss, one of them (the cutest one) was kind of resistant, i noticed that a few meters from us, there were dozens of people watching me trying to pick up them both and they saw the whole situation. At one point, another cute girl passed and i promptly looked at the that reciprocated with a huge smile, i didn't say a word and kind of commanded her to come (with my hand), she came and i went directly for the kiss in front of the other two i was trying to pick up lol The whole crowd started to scream and cheer like CRAZY like "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH SHIIITTT". The previous girls didn't go away although the cute one was shy from the situation (they were kind of impressed) and a fourth girl passed by and i did the SAME and kissed her again in front of everybody which made the crowd go wild again lol Needless to say that i never felt so confident in my life, i was completely sober and i felt like a god bending reality or something.

Well, that was kind of my point, that he should look for help if he feels the need to and by his post, looks like he really need some professional help (like a kundalini master or whatever it means lol). I actually know that some people get really fucked up with kundalini awakening, i follow a few support groups and there are LOTS of sad cases in there. No sweat man, we are both trying to help him, i am sure he will take the best course of action that he feels is needed.

Yeah yeah, it's all an illusion, we all know that, but still unhelpful as fuck if you put yourself in his place. Fuck self-development, right? What is the point if it is all an illusion? I didn't say it is easy to surrender, it sure wasn't for me and i still am learning on a day to day basis but it is the best way because it will make clear the best course of action for each one.

You would be surprised about how many people overlook the basics Surrender isn't a matter of simply relaxing and breathing, i am talking about a higher surrender to God, to his higher self which communicates through feelings, intuition, synchronicities etc. Kundalini will guide itself if he let it, it will literally tell you what you need and what your next move should be, even if it is to seek help as i did recently looking for yoga teachers and holistic therapists.

Look, the biggest thing is to surrender, learn to follow your intuition (the kundalini will guide you) and it will show you what you nee at the moment to ensure your highest spiritual development. IN MY OWN CASE, i was led to a fruitarian diet ((with herbs and fasting), hatha yoga and holistic therapies in general (especially the ones that work with the breath and the body to release emotions like amanae therapy), also affirmations and visualization. Look for Matt Kahn, read his books and follow the shit out of his teachings, DO REALLY APPLY WHAT HE TELLS YOU, especially the self-love (saying "i love you" to yourself and whatever arises ceaselessly). This is fast-tracking the process like never before, BUT i gained enough faith, resilience and now self-love to trust that everything is fine, that shit is just changing, arising and disappearing constantly in my life but i remain strong in the path.

I love what you are doing and personally practice fasting as much as i can. My kundalini led me to eat only fruits (mostly juices), sometimes i do some 24h dry fasting but it is still hard on me (lots of toxins being purged) and i noticed that i accelerate my spiritual growth a LOT doing this cleanse on the body, lots of insights, breakthroughs, blocks being dissolved etc.

He is gaming us and i am falling like a bitch

I now and use some powerful subliminals that do work almost like a magic pill. As far as i know, it is possible to change some physical traits like breasts or even penis size with the right subliminal. I don't know about changing bone structure or eye color but i wouldn't be even the least bit surprised if it were true. Your judgment and ignorance can be a huge barrier to develop yourself.

As i progress in the spiritual path, more i have to detach from the social narrative and follow my intuition, inner guidance even when only i believe in my choices, the more i raise my self-esteem, more i tend to have thoughts like "maybe i am an old soul that incarnated in a fucked up situation (horrible childhood) in order to get into the spiritual path as a way to transcend the pain and remember all my knowledge and wisdom in order to help the planet to ascend". Or even "i am the next Jesus" thoughts appeared in my experience field which is rapidly scolded with thoughts like: put yourself in your place, you are not special. Both, in my opinion, can be extremely deceiving and toxic. The first one is narcissistic (low self-esteem) and the last one is defeated ( also low self-esteem). How can i deal with thoughts like those? I can't simply ignore them because losing my mind is one of my biggest fears since mental illness is really common in my family and i want to go so deep on this path that i need to keep myself in check once in a while (still learning how to do it).

I recommend this meditation: http://higherselfteachings.com/cds/chakra-meditation-higher-self-guided-awakening-healing/ Really powerful stuff, you have to be consistent with it. Also, see his youtube channel, good, deep wisdom.

Who knows... I only care that he was a great fucking teacher and an big inspiration for me.

In my experience: Ayahuasca => Mushrooms => LSD The natural ones always give me a feeling of connectedness with the existence, it is like existence itself is doing the work and teaching you. Pure LSD is rare here in Brazil, so i don't want to risk high doses with a substance i don't really am sure is pure. You can't go wrong with the other two. Bonus mention: Weed can be a powerful tool. My kundalini is pretty active and every time i smoke weed i have insights and all sorts of energy phenomena in my body (performing kriyas, mudras etc).

I read the book once but i miss the part where he explains how to actually do it, i mean, just saying "let it go" isn't much helpful, but let me see if i get it: Let's say i am feeling some anxiety/resistance toward something (usually i feel those when i have to study something), i just focus on that feeling and try to let it go, relaxing in that feeling (usually is a tight feeling n my belly and chest) over and over until it goes away? And this is cumulative, meaning that if i repeat this process over days, weeks or months those feelings tend to disappear completely?

Yes, they do work, I am experimenting with affirmations and visualizations the last month and seeing awesome results, can't wait to see the long term results! The secret is feeling and repeat the shit out of them! Consistency is key, do them as often as possible, the results will accumulate and at some point the programs will become automatic, this is really fun and exciting, you can literally program yourself and "your reality". Law of Attraction do work. Expect resistance, your ego will pull out all kinds of weird shit and tricks in order for you to stop the process, just keep fucking going.

Try only eating raw foods and fruits, Leo, it's the only way for me to no having bad sinus. As I progressed in my spiritual path, my body is rejecting a lot of stuff, even healthy vegan foods I get some bad reaction.

Man, this topic came in the perfect time, thank you for this recommendation!

At this point I am kind of just hoping Leo is OK

YES

I was going to ask this question lol DAMN IT, BE PRESENT, DO NOT GET ATTACHED!!

Thank you for your answer. I will look into it. I guess I kind of assumed that kundalini symptoms were kind of common and I wasn't giving the right importance to it. Although it greatly affects my life, it is boosting my progress through lots of pain. But I am not complaining, I feel like progress exponentially a few months until now and I am getting excited for the future even though I am going through pain right now I am learning to enjoy it because it always makes me a better person in the end.

Yeah, books, blogs, teachers that teach about kundalini etc

@Arhattobe I guess you are right. I am very cautious about my psychedelics use for some time now, I used to take them much more frequently. Now I use once every 3 months or something like that but the tendency I am seeing is to go through the sober route for now. I will take your advice as a message from the universe. If you have some material suggestions about this topic it would be great.