Recursoinominado

I certainly observed in my experience a certain fluidity of my sexuality as I became more self-accepting and authentic, my tastes in women changed and I kind of embraced a more fluid movement and way of being that a lot of people are confused with me being a homossexual or something, lots of people asks me that question. I came to accept more thoughts of homossexual nature, which does not make me want to have sex or have sexual attraction for men but I do feel some sort of "attraction" for some men. It is hard to explain but i do feel I was something that I repressed and suppressed a lot due to some childhood events. Later, it turned to be very authentic for me to dress and move in a kind of feminine way but at the same time I can be very masculine (not in that macho Terminator way). I am not doing it for anyone but I have to say that women love it, especially stage green and above. In conclusion, I am certainly way more feminine that I would think until some time ago and that's an effect of my raising consciousness.

Science of human development and purification with the goal of total liberation, union of the individualized consciousness with the Universal One.

Drink some ginger tea with it.

You are on the right track. Have been there lots of times and, looking back, it was the crumbling of an old paradigm, like a snake shedding it's skin (could hurt, i don't know), it was forcing me to face my inner fears, like an animal cornered and running was not an option anymore. This is a great thing, it means you are ready for it, most people can ignore this shit for their whole life, if you can't, i bet there is something special in you, there is enough conscious attention that the issue can't be fully ignored, hence the crisis. The Dark Night of The Soul could also be pushing you to make some changes, and those changes could be radical changes like moving to another place, travel, doing something that scares you, pursuing your inner calling, being authentic, changing career etc. The thing that was bothering me so much was all that old stuff that served me at one point but now it doesn't seem to be coming from the deepest authentic place in myself. I made RADICAL changes in my life, fully embraced the concept of Hero's Journey, sold everything and started an epic adventure that, to be honest, scares the hell out of me but i know, deep down, that it is the right thing to do. Intuition is a calm ever-present voice inside, easy to ignore in the short-term but when you raise your consciousness high enough, it gets so obvious that ignore it instantly seems "off", something is wrong, you just feel it, it brings unease. So, you got cornered, the question is, are you going to ignore it or take the leap?

Don't be one-sided, learn to deal with paradoxes, life is rarely about this OR that, it's a mix, a spectrum. This kind of extremist mentality will keep you in mediocrity forever, that's what mentally lazy people do, look for definite, short, clear answers. Black and white thinking is cancer.

Yes, I found out they travel it is self-actualization in steroids if you do it properly. It correlates with the concept of anti-fragility, as long you put yourself into chaos, situations outside your comfort zone, you will be forced to grow, even if you are a lazy fuck. Solo travel, backpacking, try to spend as little as possible with anything that's not essential, interact with your environment, learn new skills, go somewhere you feel like the dumbest person alive because you fail to know how to perform basic tasks, this will give you loads of humbleness coupled with self-reliance. You will have to ground yourself a lot as your environment keeps changing and the only constant is you.

I know because i have one and i have used it, pretty effective method, although there are some even more powerful like Yocan Magneto Vape (tried to buy online but it is illegal here in Brazil and it got returned). Yeah, i get it, smother and longer trip, i had researched some time ago about plugging DMT but didn't found anything really useful. I know it is too powerful and too fast for most to get any useful insight but i did had pretty important insights with only one weak ass hit with this crack pipe (too fearful to go deeper). In a 5 minutes trip i had realized: 1. Leela, its all an eternal and infinite play, Existence is playing with itself. 2. Spirits DO exist, i fucking saw one just calmly hovering in my room, like he was watching me like a science experiment. 3. Materialism is bullshit, pretty self-explanatory to anyone who ever did DMT (or any psychedelic for that matter).

A crack pipe made out of glass will do the trick easily.

Loneliness is a big part of the self-actualization process, there is no way around it, even if you do find like-minded people (they do exist but are rare), ultimately, you can't rely on anyone and must derive the answers by yourself if you want to raise yourself to the higher levels. It is necessary to strip yourself from all beliefs and dogmas acquired by osmosis and not derived from direct experience. I do understand your fear of judgment and loneliness, they are primal fears of human beings, really common. One of my biggest fears is the fear of abandonment and i suffered from non-intentional social isolation for most of my life which put me in serious suffering for a LONG time but it also gave me a unique perspective at life since i had to develop a kind of self-reliance and intellectual freedom from my environment which led me into self-actualization and on my way into levels of consciousness that most people can't relate at all. So, it was a blessing in the end. Also, don't be a dogmatic preacher, if you really want to share your ideas, share with the ones who are interested or, at least, open-minded, don't fall into the self-righteousness trap where you try to convert everyone. Really wise people don't even feel the need to talk about deep topics all the time, they can even do small talk without feeling like they are wasting time, dumbing down or something. If you want to express your ideas, do it in a detached way, do not expect any fruits from it, do it just because, be a channel for the divine and don't be concern with the results, you only can control your actions, not its consequences. The way i deal with it is: i only talk about deep topics if i feel an opening (which doesn't happen often), most of the time i am the quiet-zen type, i mostly listen to people, ask questions, give short vague answers without expectations to be fully understood. I rarely explain myself to anyone who isn't at least stage green and above.

It is a good thing, there is a time where your breath should even stop completely and you will get absorbed in deep meditation

Life Purpose (Have some Goals, Achieve something, Keep Going) Educate Yourself Emotional Mastery Proper Sleep Exercise (Build a strong body + Martial Arts) Healthy Eating (mostly raw vegan foods, no gluten, no soy, no dairy, only whole raw natural foods) Spiritual Practices Healthy Social Interactions Self-Knowledge Metaphysic Investigation Psychedelics (Go easy, Research a LOT, start with lower dosages, maybe some MDMA with a loved one) Get The Fuck Away from Toxic People and Environments (non-negotiable, be ruthless) Trauma Release (Bioenergetics, Holotropic Breathing, Yoga) Self-Care

Breath in until your lungs are completely full, expand belly, chest and shoulders, HOLD the air while opening chest, belly and throat like you are going to look into the sky and visualize your internal organs expanding, hold until you cannot anymore and let everything go slowly. A good one of those will quiet the monkey mind immediately, it is really strong, do at your own risk.

This.

Yeah, thanks to the internet we have easy access to information about awakening and now you can educate yourself as before you would go to a psychiatrist, be labeled crazy, put on several mind/soul-numbing medications for life.

Yeah, that's all and good until you fall in one of the infinite traps of the path, delude yourself, waste decades in the wrong direction that could be easily pointed to by a proper guru. Gurus, teachers, mentors, coaches whatever can be of great help, especially in a path that essentially alter reality. The biggest sages had mentors (sometimes, several of them).

For a moment, i thought i was in a toxic video game forum or something, glad i was wrong, right?

Thank you, I am preparing to my second vipassana retreat as a student and the first one was gruesome, but, to be honest, I was in another level then, with lots of neurosis and shadow work needed to be done which made the retreat seem like he'll as my monkeys mind went full frenetic mode for ten days. I made the mistake to prepare to do a one hour sitting with ease but I not the subsequent ones which got worse and worse due to physical pains all over the body during the whole day of meditation, every day. This is a really useful guide which I will implement immediately.

Well, I am sure some people on this forum have the intention to become a sage, like Leo have. I do have this intention and it is my vision for the future to create and build an intentional community/Ashram, but this could and should take a decade+. My life purpose is to create conscious leaders and I intend to do this with a serious ashram in Brazil like it is the practice in vipassana retreats, not those new age "spiritual seekers" that hardly meditate or practice serious Yoga. So, yeah, it is possible that from this community comes outs a few spiritual leaders in the next decade.

That's why we are all self help junkies

beautiful

That was so fucking great ahahahaha "How to make a girl squirt" hahahahaha in 30 years Leo will be an american guru saint personally responsible for the self-realization of thousands of people and this is what he will be remembered for lol loved it

God, I am super focused in finding a Yoga Ashram, can you share the name/site or something? I am from Brazil but I have plans to leave here soon

The more you learn about the day-to-day life of indian gurus and saints, the more you realize you know nothing about how an enlightened person suppose to behave, they are incredibly unpredictable. Showing anger, prone to violence, shouting, cursing, addictions, impatience etc. The west gurus like Mooji, Eckhart Tolle and Rupert Spira tend to appear more peaceful, loving and all of that to appeal to western people that have this distorted image of what God has to look like, indians seem to throw out these non-sense thousands of years ago. The level of development of the disciples also play a huge hole in how the guru must act in order to instruct them into awakening. The way you deal with a stage red disciple will be vastly different then to a stage yellow one.

Well, if by serious you mean focused, "all in" in a particular problem to solve it, this can be a pretty good characteristic. If by serious you mean neurotic, narrow-minded, overreacting, yeah# you have work to do. I usually assess people's level of spiritual development by their level of neurosis, specially when dealing with challenge. Most people are very low on that scale, losing their shit over pathetic stuff all the time. Most can hide their neurosis very well, even some apparently poised stoic "alphas", if you look closely, they are trying hard to hide their neurosis which manifests in their over controlling behavior (trying to dominate everyone around in a particular set of behavior so they can keep the illusion that they have all in control). Here are some things you have to realize to heal of neurosis: The best way to deal with problems is always to focus on solutions and forget all else. Blame, complain, worry, anxiety, overthinking are not only useless but they lessen your ability to find solutions. A calm mind is a clear mind. Read that again. The best way to deal with chaos is to deal with one thing at time, in a moment to moment basis, cultivate presence, it is a superpower. Realize that the present moment is all that is. What is in front of you happening right now is all that is, all else is just imagination, figures in your mind, like a television screen passing random stuff all the time, just turn your attention away from it and focus on what's actually happening right now (see Leo's video about Actuality). Ground yourself in the present moment and forget all else, this is scarier that it seems but it is the only option you have. Have a big picture understanding of reality, see that it is all a play, God is playing with itself all the time, it is not serious at all but you are free to take it serious all you want and will have a big laugh when you wake up from this illusion. "Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun." -Alan Watts Psychedelics are GREAT to take you out of this illusion and really have some perspective on things and realize it's all a play. Dmt is particularly good for me to realize this.

In my experience is an everpresent phenomenon but it changes moment to moment according to what is happening but it works in several levels at the same time, it keeps one eye on the biggest goal (our life purpose/self-realization, if you will) and another eye on what's happening right now and the best choices that lead to the attainment of the higher goal. The problem is that the mind/ego voice is usually a lot louder and frenetic, you have to be calm and present to hear and follow the intuition instead.