Wes Thoughts

@Girzo Interesting video. I am interested in reading his lastest book "The Big Picture" now. I read the preview on amazon and I found this quote from Sean Carroll very interesting: 'At a fundamental level, there aren't separate "living things" and "nonliving things," "things here on Earth" and "things up in the sky," "matter" and "spirit." There is just the basic stuff of reality, appearing to us in many different forms.' I am really interested to learn his views on consciousness. It appears he tackles really existential questions based on his table of contents.

@WelcometoReality Thanks for the reply. I have come to realize that I have to find this direct experience of it myself otherwise this would just be another theory for me to adapt. I am just skeptical that the direct experience itself could possibly be an illusion too, but hopefully when I have it, it will be so real that I won't have to be skeptical

I still am struggling to get past the very real sense that I am so intimately attached and aware of my brain/body. How do you explain the fact that if I shoot myself in the head I will cease to have any conscious experience? Doesn't that prove that my consciousness is created in the brain? Doesn't that prove that all I perceive is directly related to this brain/body? There wouldn't be anyone here to ask these questions or type this if I was dead (aka destroyed my brain/body). The fact that you can kill yourself and cease to have any perceptions at all means that your perceptions are tied directly to this brain/body, right? It has to at least prove there is some intimate relationship there. How can reality (my brain/body) be an illusion when all of these perceptions are so very real? They are all I have really and they seem to be correlated very closely with my body. I am very aware of all the sensations of my body. Is it not that they are not real, but just that I don't have to identify with them? Why do I automatically perceive them then? Also, I can only feel my perceptions not yours. Why is my awareness so drawn to only my body perceptions? That gives a very real sense of me being separate from you. Anyone care to share their point of view on this?

@Nahm I definitely am in a matter paradigm. I was born and raised into it. But I believe quantum physics and this consciousness work is my key out. Quantum superposition says that particles exist in all possible states until observed. That is science admitting / proving that consciousness is the creator! I really hope @Leo Gura does a quantum physics episode to help so many of us in this matter paradigm get out!

@Nahm Are you referring to the fact that 96% of the universe is missing? They believe it is dark matter and dark energy that is yet to be discovered.

This is deep man! Let this sink in. *mind blow*

@Leo Gura I agree. It is not completely undocumented though. There are a few trip reports on it ranging up to as much as 75mg trips on it. http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/805165-The-Big-amp-Dandy-4-HO-EPT-Thread The trip reports sound extremely compelling to me that is why I decided to try this new analogue for myself. One report of being able to manifest visuals while maintaining extreme focus really peaked my interest! I am not sure if "mind fuck" is a good thing in a psychedelic or not when using it for consciousness work. I know you want to be able to focus but sometimes mind fuck can give you good insights too. I know AL-LAD is supposed to be less mind fuck and that seems to be good for consciousness work.

I am about to experiment with 4-ho-ept. It is a newer RC. Anyone have any input on it?

@MM1988 I struggle a lot with this question too. I have posted on here multiple times asking the same type of questions. I have come to believe, (believe is a key word here, I am not 100% sold on this yet either) that the brain is indeed very critical for our function in this physical world, but that is not all we really are. Consciousness itself is not created in the brain. I hope to come to realize this much deeper through meditation and self-inquiry. After all we could argue both points all day so the only way to settle it is to try to have a direct experince/realization of it yourself. That's what I am trying to do now. Read my posts and the replies in here:

I guess I don't care which concept of reality is correct as long as there really is a way to experience that I am in!

@Natasha I understand what you are saying as a concept. I just don't believe it fully or know it as the absolute Truth. I realize that I don't know my concept of body/mind as absolute Truth either. I think both concepts of consciousness (body/mind > consciousness) and (consciousness > body/mind) are valid with the questions we are asking of them. I only hope that through this journey it is possible to know the absolute, undeniable, experiential, upper-case Truth. It's crazy to think that I don't even have one grounded absolute Truth that I know is true. I can see how finding it would be amazing!

@Natasha Thanks for the insight. How do you know this though. Couldn't it be that your body/mind gave rise to the consciousness allowing you to think of this concept? How can I be absolutely sure it is not my body/mind that is creating my consciousness?

@WelcometoReality Thank you very much for taking the time to reply! I would like to reply to each of your replies: I believe it is the brain/body that gives rise to my consciousness that creates the "me", the thinker, the perceiver. Therefore, no, I am not separate from my body/mind, I (my consciousness) am made of it / from it. Again, I believe it is my brain/body that is giving rise to my consciousness. There is no way to know if that is what I truly am for sure. How can you truly know that you are just pure consciousness and not just a brain having these far out thoughts? After all you never did, knew or thought anything before you had this brain/body, right? I don't remember anything before I was born aka had a brain/body. I can see the brain/body and that can be me because it is my brain/body giving rise to my consciousness allowing it to see and know itself. I really like this reply. I like that this acknowledges the body-mind is not an illusion. It could be that my concepts and identification with it are incorrect but how can you know that the concept of being pure conscious awareness having a body/mind experience is correct though? How would you truly know that it is not your body/mind that gave rise to your consciousness and through hours of reprogramming your beliefs and thinking through meditation and self-inquiry that you now have just reprogrammed your brain to think differently about the body/mind and reality? How do you know that whatever you discover from doing this is not just your brain/consciousness which is of the body/mind? I realize that I could be wrong but how can you be so sure that these other concepts of consciousness are correct? I am sure you will say direct experience, but how do you know that is not created from the body/mind/consciousness?

Yeah. You really explained it well here: What retreat did you take to help you with mindfulness?

@phoenix666 Awesome. Yeah that does help. I am so used to chasing external happiness. But if I am honest with myself I should be able to see that that doesn't bring true bliss. It's more feelings of fleeting joy on the roller coaster of emotions. I just have the fear of missing out when I turn down options that sound like they would be 'fun'.

@Amadeusz I am not sure of what pressure exactly you are talking about, but I suggest looking at the pressure as being just being a suggestion of possibilities you could take. Your coach was right, pay attention to internal motivation not external motivation.

@phoenix666 I am really struggling with distraction too! The question I keep asking is will this be worth it? Will letting go of 'having a life' saying no to the distractions as they arise and opt to stay home to meditate, self inquire or learn more theory and be alone really bring me true happiness? It sure doesn't seem like it now. Has this honestly become true for you? Are you happier feeling "like an outsider, an outcast, a black sheep"?

I took a small amount of LSD and just as soon as I started to feel it set in, I started to notice a weird heavy feeling on the front of my body and mainly around my chest and throat. My trip has been overwhelmed by this very uncomfortable heavy bad energy feeling that I get and it hangs around my throat and mouth and up to my eyes even. I really don't know how to describe it. I sat completely still in meditative state and tried to hone in on what exactly it is but I could not resolve it by observing it and asking what it was. I know for sure that it is not a pleasant feeling or thing and I want to get it out. I tried focusing on exactly where it is and trying to expel this energy through my breath but to no avail. It feels like something I want to get out. It feels really heavy like it is dragging me down. It feels like it is holding me back from my true self somehow. I have no idea what this is or how to fix it, please help!

@pluto Thanks for the feedback. I have been researching a bit about chakras and I think that may be what is going on. It also may be a form of anxiety that is really making itself clear in a physical feeling form.

@Joseph Maynor The mind is becoming aware of awareness by eliminating its false beliefs, right?

@Nexeternity Did you get any profound insights that you can take away from the experience?

@Ilya Yeah I think I got these psychedelics way too early hoping it would accelerate my growth but I don't think I am ready for them. I spent most of my time concerned with this weird energy funny feeling that just didn't feel right. Meditating seemed harder and more distracted. I had no focus. I ended up just going for a bike ride and just kind of contemplating to myself. I didn't gain any real growth or insight at all which is very disappointing. I have had the ego death like trips before on mushrooms before I had any idea what it was and I had some awesome insights then, so I was hoping I could find that again but it is just not working. Back to square one

@Outer This was the only option I had for it. I don't really have many drug hook ups. I haven't done drugs in years.

Summary: I took 6 hits of LSD over the course of 8 hours while drinking 6 beers and I did not experience that strong of a trip. Details: So I picked up 30 hits of LSD. I split a half vial with my friend which was supposed to contain 50 hits but I think we were hooked up with some extra. Anyway, we didn't have blotter paper so we used an eyedropper to put the LSD on Sour Patch Strawberry candies. We added 2 small drops from the eyedropper to each which just about covered the whole top of the candy. We assumed this would be about 2 hits per candy. We still ended up with 60 candies total, with a bit left in the vial too. So we each took one drop from the vial on the back of our hand and licked it off to test the potency of the stuff. After about 10-20min I felt good with a slight visuals almost like more vivid sight with slight tracers. My friend and I waited about 1 hour to make sure this stuff wasn't going to kick our ass then we each did another 1 drop on the back of our hand and licked it off again. This time I noticed the same effects just a bit more. Vivid colors, very pleasant and relaxed feeling slight tracers, like everything was moving a bit slower, very pleasant though. We were drinking beer the whole time and was about 3 beers in at this point also. This feeling along with the beer gave me confidence that I could take more so we popped a double hit candy that we made thinking that would absolutely blow us away. I did have some very strong visual effects now. It was dark by this point and we were sitting outside drinking beers around this color changing LED orb that was the most amazing beautiful thing I have ever seen and it seemed to appear 3d and have geometric shapes within it. Nothing was out of control though. My friend also had an LED frisbee so we were throwing that around the yard a bit and I felt a little floaty and odd but was able to play frisbee just fine. I did notice lights flashing all around me as if they were coming from the sky like lightening or something. I went inside to use the bathroom and this is when I really felt the effects. The rooms on the way to the bathroom and the bathroom itself seemed to be breathing and changing size and angles of the toilet and sink were changing, slightly though nothing unbearable. After this probably because I was half buzzed on beer (about 6) I decided to pop another candy (2 drops) to see how crazy it could get. I didn't notice it getting progressively stronger from that last 2 hits. We decided to watch a movie at that time. We watched Underworld: Blood Wars which was epic (probably because of the LSD) and at about 3-4am my buddy was falling asleep so he went upstairs to go to sleep and I did the same on the couch. I noticed that the artwork on his walls was looking really 3d and holographic now but it was nothing insane and I just enjoyed it as I fell asleep. I awoke at 8am and felt totally fine. I had taken that last hit around 1am too. I did not get the LSD with the intent of just taking it in social settings but I felt obliged to my old friend for getting it for me and I wanted to experiment with the strength of it. I do plan on using the rest of this for meditation and contemplation on my own but I am concerned with the strength of it and if it is even LSD. Question: So I guess my question is shouldn't 6 hits of LSD have knocked me on my ass and made it an intensely strong trip? Was it because of the social setting and the alcohol that I didn't really find it that crazy? Is the LSD diluted too much? I used to take mushrooms back in the day (about 10 years ago) so I have experience tripping so this didn't scare me at all. I have had mushroom trips that have literally knocked me on my ass and turned me into a vegetable so I know what it's like to trip hard. Also, I didn't get the same ego death feeling or perspective shift that I have had from mushrooms. I have taken small amounts of mushrooms before and noticed a lot more of a distinct shift in perspective on the world. What do you guys think? Bad LSD? Bad setting? Too much alcohol?

@Leo Gura Isn't LSD usually turned into liquid and then put on blotter paper to be taken? I don't intend on taking it in that situation again. I knew I wouldn't gain any growth from that setting but I was expecting perspective shift or some existence questioning that I could dial in on when I took it in a better setting. I mainly only experienced visuals which is disappointing if I plan on using it for growth. I think I am going to order a test kit before I take it again.