Psyche_92

Yes. Good advice, thanks for helping.

Hello, My family never really understood why i do what i do, and i don't care too much about that. However, i can't really go to my sister's place, my mom's place or any other of my family because it seems like the only thing they care about is asking me if i'm still doing my meditation, healthy eating etc. You would say, well that's a good thing right? But no, not really. They are not asking this out of pure interest, it's literally just to see if i'm failing again, cause they always laugh at me for doing these things, especially meditation. They are totally clueless, and i don't really care about that, but the problem is that i feel like they do have way too much effect on me by doing this. Even if i reach goals, or get some succes at something, they can't understand why, and they seem to envy me at those times. They quickly project all their limiting beliefs and fears on me, and i can see that, but at the same time it also makes me fear my own succes and it holds me back from doing so. It's like they are fearfull that i will succeed. Not sure how to explain it. The boyfriend of my sister for instance, always immediately asks how much i earn when i get a new job. With my last job, i earned more than him, and his facial expression explained everything to me. It's like they just can't stand it. This has been a problem for a long time, and i can't seem to sort out how i can fix this except for not visiting them anymore. It's just very hard for me to deal with their criticism when succes is coming my way. Lately i'm even fearfull of making new moves just because i know my family will not be happy for me.

Guilt

I know it's not about them. I don't want to play the victim here. I just want this to end cause it's holding me back from pursuing what i really want, and i'm not getting younger. I don't know how to change it. I'm meditating an hour a day, i've also tried writing about it and thinking about it but it doesn't help.

Already did that for over a year. Psychoanalysis is only good for your mind to fall asleep. It doesn't resolve deep issues. I'm doing normal meditation. It's not too bad. Not gonna botter with another technique for now. Yes and no. I use fapping and porn to run away from certain emotions, so doing NoFap helps me to face them and not run away from them.

Yes. I started using porn and masturbation at 13-14ish to escape reality after getting bullied everyday at school. It's deeply ingrained in my brain. I'm trying to meet the energy to release it, but you obviously can't force that stuff too much. That's not how it works, so i guess i just have to ride it out.

If anything, NoFap is a good spiritual tool. In the sense that it can keep kicking your ego in the face whenever you relapse, and make you wake up to the truth that you have no control whatsoever.

Failed again... Rip. Too much free time and too much sexual energy got the best of me. Nothing did satisfy me anymore and i got bored, so i ended up fapping 3 fucking times... Starting to think this is impossible for me after 5 years of trying. Good thing i didn't watch porn this time, but still. Feeling lazy af right now... yay

Why would you want to do that.

Have you ever considered the possibility that you are not having sex because exactly you are watching porn and are not really motivated towards getting the real deal?

Just ignore him.

Why do i feel ressentment towards woman who are from my perspective hot, and also towards woman who wear lots of makeup ( this is not something i like )? Is it because i deep down feel insecure about myself, and feel like i'm not worthy of them?

Only one way to find out . Yes have a strong goal which makes it worth suffering through the withdrawal from quitting this addiction.

How you know? Have you tried it at least?

Most likely not. Nothing to be ashamed about. Different people get aroused by different kinds of stuff. BUT, This could easily not be an authentic fetish and induced by porn. So, do you watch porn a lot? If so, do you feel like you are addicted to it, started watching different or specific kinds of porn to get off? Then by all means quit. Even if you are not addicted, porn is not good for anything. Rinse and repeat. I've been trying to quit for over 5 years. My longest streak was 125 days. You have to keep going at it. Over time the addiction will wear off, but it takes time. In the 5 years of quitting, and even on my 125 days streak i never had blue balls or pain down there. Nature takes care of it self, so if it's time you will get a wet dream which fixes this problem. What about cold showers and exercise? Cold showers are detrimental, at least for me.

No i'm still on NoFap. Fuck fapping and shit. I'm also not gonna waste my seed having sex with some random girl. I'm just gonna continue my semen retention and stop being a little bitch lol. 5 secs of pleasure is not worth it.

It's been such a long time since i had sex, that i can't even remember when it was, and it starting to irritate me a little. If i have to put a number on it, it probably was at least 4 years ago. I don't wanna go to a prostitute, but i also don't feel like putting an insane amount of effort into getting to know a girl, dating her etc. It also feels like the leap is way too big right now to just go out there and actually hunt after one, i'm just not feeling it. Now i know that it will not fulfill me long term, but i think i just need to get over this so i can move on and focus on myself again. How do i go about this?

I'm already over the idea of random hookups. Thank for the tip though lol.

Ah shit. Well, i guess 3 is better than 0 in 4 years.

@Gili Trawangan @Natasha Allright i'll try .

@Shin Share your knowledge

Hahaha yeah obviously xd. I'm more talking like where do i find such girls? I can't just walkup to a girl and ask her to have sex right...

No it's not. Unless you want to stay imprisoned in your own life.

Go sit on your bed without any distractions and confront that which you want to escape from.

To be fair, for me it's not just the amount of rent i have to pay each month. I was raised by a pampering mother, and an almost absent father. I literally almost didn't learn to go out there and do shit for myself. Right now i'm 26 and i've only just started to stand up against my mother to gain my independence because she was still smothering me like crazy. Now she's almost totally avoiding me, and she's just starting to do it with her grandchildren.