Psyche_92

Observe it without judgement if it arises.

How is anything not egoistic, unless you are enlightened?

Forgot how big of an impact this book had made on me in the past. It was my first book that i've read on the topic of enlightenment. Yesterday i started reading it again, and immediately it got me into experiencing pure presence and being. I could also notice that i haven't been living in the present moment for a very long time, even though i thought i was. We tend to forget so quickly about it, and get stuck in our own mind again without even recognizing it. While i'm reading the book now, i'm constantly having these very small moments of being, but they don't stick. I feel like i need the book to remind me of them, to get me into the present moment. My mind just always sucks me right back out of it. How can i root myself in the present without falling back into the mind? I've been meditating for about 6 months now, but i definitely don't experience anything like this.

Will do.

Yea, i guess so.

@Faceless Yea. Whenever i enter the present moment, i get bombarded with thoughts of things that could go wrong if i surrender. I feel like my ego is trying to deceive me of not being able to survive without it.

I've been looking around on real estate websites, trying to get some inspiration for later on in life. I've always had the dream to have a big house that i can enjoy with my family, but i don't understand how you would earn enough money to buy one that expensive (1M+). There are houses ranging from 250k-500k, which is still acceptable to me as reachable if you count all expenses ( Own contribution from saved up money, small loan from bank or maybe a small mortgage, monthly salaries from a job assuming that you and your partner have a steady income), but than you have these houses that range from 1M to 2M.. Which i can only see possible with a huge mortgage or having a job as a lawyer, doctor, pilot,... Tell me if i'm wrong, but that's what i've been seeing so far. Those houses are always owned by people with those jobs, and i find it rather sad. Sure i could study to become one of those, but i don't want to do any of those jobs. I feel like they don't even have enough time to enjoy the house themselves. There has to be another way no? I know a big house is not everything in life, but i feel like i can't just leave the dream behind me. It's something i really want in life for myself.

Seems like a good idea for the future. Thanks for the link!

@Nahm @Girzo I live in Belgium. The government literally kills all willing entrepeneurs here, with their ridicilously high taxes and social contribution laws.

I want to become a psychologist/psychotherapist.

Treat it like it's an alcohol addiction. It helped me quiete a lot so far. At first i thought people were exaggerating when they told me this, but they were right. These addictive pathways are deeply ingrained, and once you give in, they are activated again like they were never gone at all. It's literally the same as alcohol and nicotine, there is no such thing as one sip or one drag.

Can you read or nah?

How i miss feeling like this... Fuck flatlines.

Time to find out your life purpose, so you can stop dabbling around. Do Leo's Life Purpose course.

Nope. Already ditched "friends" that were like that. Probably going to take responsibility for my life and do what's best for me here. Already knew that, just wanted to vent i guess xd.

Hello, I've been facing a deep disconnect with my family, that's slowly becoming very bad, to a point where i hardly speak or relate to them anymore. We're growing apart soo much, that i sometimes feel like i won't be seeing them at all, if i have my own place in the future. At the moment i'm still living with my mom under the same roof, but we hardly speak about random stuff with each other, because we just don't relate anymore. She's not interested in what i'm doing, or in what i have to say, and sometimes i feel like she's even envying me. When i talk to her about my Life Purpose and future goals, she's just reacting in an uninterested manner, watching television and yawning, looking at me like i'm bothering her, not paying attention to me when i'm speaking. She's living a very unconscious life, spending all her free time with a guy that is still married to another woman, constantly running away from home ( it's impossible for her to sit with herself ) and her problems that are going on in her personal life. If her boyfriend is not responding to her texts, or if her friend is not available to do something with her, she basically go's insane and starts eating like crazy. Everytime i ask her about her eating so much, she's just telling me that she's hungry, when i can cleary see that she's running away from emptiness. The house we're living in is deteriorating and not maintained and she hardly cleans it ( i'm trying my best to keep it clean but she leaves her trash all over the place ). As far as that part goes, i know i can solve this problem by getting my own place, which i'm working on, but i can't seem to find a stable job at the moment. I'm also trying to practice unconditional love, but it's been very hard. Besides this, i'm also having 2 sisters that i'm hardly paying a visit because of a lot of things that are going on in their lives. One of them is addicted to drugs, and basically smoking weed by the daily. She's constantly having money problems, sleeping with different guys every week, and going through the same unconscious patterns everytime. She's blaming the world for her problems, and she's telling me i'm still lucky to be living at home. My other sister has autism to a severe degree, and she's living together with an alcoholic guy who was a drug addict in the past. They have 2 children together, who are already showing dysfunctional behaviour, even for their age ( 3 and 5 ). They are already obsessed with cleaning ( because of my sisters ocd ). These children also know no limits, and their dad slaps and kicks them whenever he feels like it ( i feel like he's always overreacting because of alcohol withdrawal ). He always smells like alcohol, and i can see that at times he can barely stand on his feet. Because all of this, i barely visit them anymore. There is such a bad vibe surrounding them and i can't stand seeing how these children are already getting traumatized, getting kicked and slapped for no good reason,... I don't really know what to do with this. I feel obligated to keep in contact with them, but at the same time i know i'm going to suffer a lot if i do so, because i can't seem to accept all of what they are doing.

Yea, wish it was that easy. They tend to ask why i haven't visited them in such a long time, and try to make me feel guilty about it :/.

I probably would have done the same 2 years ago. It's just ignorance at work.

Leo has a good video on this topic.

Hey, thanks for answering man.