deadforever

This is song is obviously about enlightenment. "Dont fake your life - inhale it"

The problem for me seems to be finding out the reason behind it. Meditation sure gives me flashbacks sometimes. Trippping too. What else?

I recently remebered that, about 20 years ago, I was sexually abused. The self deception is real. This explains so much for me. I was about eight years old and my parents had dinner with another couple at our house. They where sitting outside and drinking and I was watching TV or whatever. The lady of the couple got really drunk and started calling my name. I didn't wan't to go outside and talk to a drunk lady, but after I while I could not ignore her anymore. As I'm standing before her, this drunken asshole pulls my pants and underwear down and starts laughing hysterically at my eight year old penis. I guess i ran inside and cried myself to sleep, I don't remember. Maybe more memories will come up after more meditation. This may be why I've been feeling so much shame. This may be why I've been numbing myself with alcohol and other shitty addictive stuff and behaivors. This may be why I've been fearing intemacy, etc., etc. The memory came to me the other day when I was feeling A LOT of shame in another situation. It was a bit surreal. I was confused. What if I was wrong? Fortunately we live in the age of internet and I found this bitch on facebook, and I asked her an open question which confirmed my memory. I put the guilt and shame back to her and I feel some relief. Shame is a sneaky motherfucker

Love this movie and soundtrack

I'm listening to his book right now. Good stuff =)

Seriously? Listen to yourself. Stop everything. You seem to be on the right track. Make life more simple

I'm not denying that. Sorry to say you seem very condescending. In his last video he said that I need to read at least 300 hundred very, very important books. Hardcore technical books. Everything is relative. And books is just people talking in letters, just like this forum. There are different ways to relate to people. And fiction books can be just or even more important to some.

That sounds fantastic. Now i'm going to watch the 4(!!!) hour video to get my pleasure! Doing the real work. Thanks for your guidence. I was lost but now I'm found

I rather watch porn for four hours than Leo's face. Real masturbation > mental masturbation Hope you have reached nirvana lol