youngshinzen

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Posts posted by youngshinzen

  5. Posted

    18daysleft:

    • had to start writing on a new topic again and felt insecure
    • when I sat down it was overwhelming and I got tired immediately 
    • I just sat there looking at the screen, my eyes slowly closed and in this almost dream-state I processed fears
    • After half an hour of not being able to overcome this tiredness, I layed down and slept
    • I got stuck many times before and made it through successfully, but it didn‘t change the state to remember that
    • But this time I feel more like an observer of a pattern
    • so I did 1,5h instead of 3, still a success

  8. Posted

    20daysleft:

    • somehow pushed through and did the three hours
    • fear kicked in again when I didn‘t know how to continue

    19daysleft:

    • ate some cake and couldn‘t get out of bed, slowly need to get back to healthy food as it destroys my discipline
    • I pushed the appointments back and told myself I‘ll do it in the evening
    • then I had a migraine attack and I still have strong headaches as I‘m typing this
    • I‘ll try to sleep and hope that tomorrow will be more successful

  10. Posted · Edited by youngshinzen

    21daysleft: 

    • My plan was to take a break once a week and reward myself
    • shopping was not the best idea, as it was stressful, but combined with a hard workout and relaxation afterwards it was a nice contrast
    • I‘ll plan something more creative and fun for the next time
    • I‘m raising the amount of daily hours from 2 to 3

  12. Posted · Edited by youngshinzen

    Hey 22daysleft:

    • studied outside in the sun early in the morning
    • it's so convenient to use the phone and dictate notes
    • Without the pressure to achieve something I have much more capacity to understand the text
    • basically none of the habits are implemented anymore, I ate whatever I wanted to and didn‘t go to the gym
    • but the holidays are over and I can buy keto food again, so I‘ll get back to that
    • because of the carbs I ate I was pretty tired and not focused during the second hour, but I let go and read the text in my tempo

  15. Posted

    @LoveandPurpose Thanks!

    23daysleft:

    • woke up later than usual and only had a few minutes left until my daily appointment started
    • I just stayed in bed, took my phone and started to read my literature
    • probably the best way for me to work through literature: using adobe reader, reading a paragraph, making a note on the side of it and using the dictate-function
    • this way I can some up the text in my own words verbally
    • after a while I can sum up parts of the text fluently, which makes me confident that I‘m back to my old skills after taking mood stabilizers for a few years
    • so I did one hour in the morning and decided to push the second hour all the way to the end of the day, so that the length of the break inbetween is maximized (this sentence shows that I'm right in the process of a scientific paper?)
    • The second hour was pretty effortless too, because I translated my experience with meditation to reading this literature: it‘ll take one hour, no matter what. I‘m letting go, even if I don‘t understand the sentence, I‘ll read it again and again, no pressure. My mind can wander, but I have to hold this text in my hand until the hour is over.
    • this approach really helped to avoid tension in my heart area

  16. Posted

    24daysleft:

    • disappointed because of the side effects of the diet,  I went back to fast food
    • body was lethargic, mood was low, but I completed my two appointments
    • I realized that my focus was way too much on theory and I have to start working on the practical part immediately 
    • feeling overwhelmed
    • I‘ll probably to 3-4 hours right in the morning and see how that goes

  21. Posted

    25daysleft:

    • mood is low, had to force myself
    • focus was lower but I pushed myself
    • did two hours again, started and ended on time
    • during the second hour I did some things of organising nature
    • I will add one hour daily every week, to slowly transition
    • I gotta figure out an optimized way of what and when to eat, has lots of impact

     

  22. Posted · Edited by youngshinzen

    @LoveandPurpose That motivates me even more, glad to hear that?? Wish you success!

    26days left:

    • woke up, hungry af
    • drank coffee and started to write
    • later did some emotional exhausting stuff and had one of the worst pain bodys ever
    • I was still on my way home, but my appointment started so I took out my phone and  read a book for the thesis
    • I wasn't able to make it through the whole hour, so I finished the last 30 min later on
    • process has slowed down as I have used up all notes and have to make new ones
    • currently: 30/70 pages
    • I noticed that my meditation habit comes in handy in terms of discipline and not missing an appointment

  25. Posted

    27daysleft:

    • woke up early, worked out and worked an hour on an empty stomach
    • I initially planned to write for 2 hours in the morning, but that's not possible without eating something first
    • problem is when I have my one big meal, I'm pretty tired and not as sharp as on an empty stomach
    • in the afternoon I sat down and wrote for 15 min, didn't feel good after the meal
    • in the evening I had another workout, came home, had to meditate for an hour and wrote for another 45 min 
    • for now, my daily goal is 2 hours, until I come up with a solution on when to write
    • the anxiety to write is much lower after a workout
    • whenever negative thoughts came up I immediatly went to the future where I imagine finishing the thesis and I remind myself of the vision board -> really effective, especially the ice cream and the colors that I used, somehow stimulates a feeling of celebration