youngshinzen
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Posts posted by youngshinzen
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@Colin Sounds good, I‘ll implement it??
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@Colin Is it enough to just listen to affirmations or is a emotional preparation necessary? Elliott Hulse talks about affirmations being a male seed which need emotions like a female fertilizer to be planted in.
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I want to focus on my healing process next year and therefore look for exercises/ideas to work on.
Maybe you guys can share some ideas on what I can improve.
I‘ve been meditating and gaining insights for a year now and it seems like all my issues boil down to self-hate since I‘m 4 years old.
Self-hate is a mechanism, to keep sanity and control when having strong negative emotions, by blaming the "self" of being the reason for them.
About my current mental state:
- growing depression and then spiritual awakening/manic phase in 2015 (realising determinism, totally changed my perspective on life)
- in 2016 mood stabilizer+antidepressants, in 2017 only antidepressants
- now slowly coming off of them (if it works out, no use of meds in January)
Issues (sorted by intensity):
- fear of relationships
- putting a lot of pressure on myself when learning/producing music and even reading
- social phobia
- feelings of constant anxiety in in the middle of stomach/chest/throat
- often feel like screaming
- when stressed, sex centre and upper body become numb
What I‘m doing now:
- consciously letting go multiple times a day
- meditating daily for 1 hour (do nothing/strong determination sitting)
- conscious breathing for 30 min
- bioenergetic therapy every 2 weeks
- psychotherapy once a week
- swimming 2x a week
- eating healthy (will improve over time)
The thing that had the strongest effect on me until now was the bioenergetic therapy. After two sessions I was already more "open" and closer to my loving/childish self. But that gate closed after a few minutes, because of inner tension and egotistic thoughts.
My new values and identity (post awakening/determinism) work good for me now, but I think that there are a lot of old emotions/thoughts dragging me down, which could be the reason why I still have issues.
Looking forward to your ideas.
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@AleksM Thanks, slowly becoming ready to resonate with these ideas :-)
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@BjarkeT Good point, but in real life you have days where things seem grey and low quality, where as if you feel good and enhanced the function of your brain, they seem to have more contrast and detail.
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@BjarkeT To me it seemed like the objects were even sharper than in reality...
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@Serotoninluv I had huge problems with eye contact and still sometimes have. I‘ve noticed that eye contact reinforces our awareness of what we feel. It‘s a good way to see if we really feel ok and also to trigger these emotions. You could ask her what and where she feels uncomfortable while doing the exercise. This will help her to understand herself better and also bring you closer together.
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I‘m having really intense dreams in the last few weeks, but two of them were special.
In the first I was in a beautiful place, houses like in Santorini, Greece. And between them were the most beautiful cherry blossoms I‘ve ever seen. I was conscious of dreaming and inspected the reality I was in, to test it‘s limits. I approached the cherry blossoms and as in reality, they became bigger and showed more details. I tilted my head left and right and it played along.
Same thing happened yesterday with a wooden bowl. I was conscious again and did the same thing, the pattern of the wood showed more details and in my dream I thought: This is just like reality, just with different rules.
To anyone who had psychedelic experiences for example, is reality working this way? Is the mind only assuming that there can be no end to looking at an object more precisely? Is this the illusion?
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@nick96 Thanks. I‘ve noticed that the back pain decreases when I scream and move my body in spontaneous ways. I'm already seeing a bioenergetics therapist and had two incredible sessions. Will also tap into the other things youv'e mentioned.
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@Greys0n Thanks, I'll keep that in mind
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@Leo Gura Is one of the two wiser to choose?
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So in the last few weeks I've modified my meditation and implemented a self-inquiry in the end. There were two mini insights, which were interesting, but mostly I felt resistance.
@Leo Gura mentioned that one should seek to understand the substance of reality rather than the self.
When I asked myself what I really wanted to know, it was simply: How can all of this exist?
Should I follow the question I seem to be more interested in, or is it my "ego" not wanting to be inspected?
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@Mad Max No, I‘ve had that pain before taking antidepressants for years. When I took them it went away entirely, but now it came back just as I stopped taking one of the two ADs.
@ajasatya I just came out of a self-inquiry and realized that I feel trapped in my body, which I find negative because I don‘t feel comfortable in it. I felt my body melting when doing yoga. Are there more techniques you know to achieve „opening“ the body?
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Hey,
as I‘m slowly coming off of my antidepressants, a specific back pain kicked back in. It‘s located between the spine and my right shoulder blade. It seems to start there, go up my neck, all the way to my ear and eyebrow. Even my right nostril hurts because of it. I already meditate, eat very healthy and started to implement first supplements. Where could the root for this pain be? Will exercising help treat the condition?
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@How to be wise That's what I'm already doing on a daily basis, but I'm more interested in the effects on the brain. The problem with a potential bipolar depression is, if manic phases happen more often, the neural pathways behave like a river. The chance of flowing towards that direction is increased, wich would lead to more imbalances in the brain. So that's why I want to be really cautious with taking psychedelics.
@The Monk I'm aware of that attitude, but that's not the case. I'm already meditating and contemplating daily, but it would be nice to know if the possibility is given.
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I want to take psychedelics, but there are a few problems which make me think that it's almost impossible for me.
(All the following events came from a place of not knowing I was mentally unstable, I'm very responsible and taking care of my mental health.)
Since my early childhood, I had to fight with anxiety. Throughout the years, I became more and more depressed, but because I blamed myself for the problems, I did not seek help. At my lowest point I ate a hash cookie (2 grams), causing a 9 hour long thinking trip. I realized that the whole universe is nothing and learned a lot of other very positive things. So no negative experience here.
After that I smoked weed a few times, but my depression got worse. But suddenly, after a few weeks the insight of infinite determinism hit me. It was such a powerful aha-moment that my muscles relaxed totally and after 5 years of strong depression and not feeling anything, I finally felt something again. But this effect increased and I went through a mania for one month until I had a nervous breakdown. But it was not a typical manic phase, it had a lot of spiritual awakening traits and almost every insight I had turned out to be true and relevant for me today. My doctor said, that manics have spiritual ideas, but they delude themselves and the insights are dismissed later on when coming back to the normal state.
This was two years ago and there were no signs of mania every since, but I do become depressed every now and then.
On top of all of that, I was just diagnosed with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, leading to high blood pressure (because of all the previous stressful years). Eventually, the heart will recover in a year with the help of meds.
So with all this background info, is there a solution?
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@Psyche_92 Usual symptoms of higher awareness. You're seeing others as creatures driven by impulses, because you have understood yourself better. It's all good, it just feels weird because you need time to implement it. And don't worry about your financial situation, you will do what is necessary when the time comes. I've been there too and still am. Enjoy this time!
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@Joseph Maynor Could we say that there is no distinction because there is no free will in the first place?
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@Geromekevin The result might be simple, but crossing out these variables (which represent your beliefs) is not.
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@Lynnel Pick a judgment you have and do some research on how this behavior occurs. It will fill the gaps in your knowledge and show you, that it makes absolute sense and is actually neutral.
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- Take a pen and just start to doodle like a lunatic.
- Look at your work and try to identify an object in there (like looking at the clouds, your subconscious will pick sth. that is relevant)
- Take that as a starting point and find associations towards your highest values.
- Create a story with that.
It's just about eliminating the pressure in the beginning, after that it's easy and fun. If you have done these steps, I would be excited to see it
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Could it be that an evolving consciousness is inversely proportional to the need of having a relationship?
I mean, look at this clip of Shinzen Young at 5:48 to 6:08. That' savagery at it's finest
Is anyone else experiencing this feeling of "walking alone" is the only option?
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@Geromekevin I think if you had the experience yourself, you would say so too. And you know how Leo is, he's very careful with these statements.
The other thing is: Reality can be seen like a fraction with many factors and variables in the numerator and denominator. When thinking/experiencing on such a high level happens, you're able to reduce the fraction to a minimum (=1 for example). If you did such a task in normal life, you would also have a feeling of "oh now i got it, it's that simple." Because of the simplicity of the absolute, it induces a strong feeling of understanding. And it would make perfect sense if reality is based upon simple rules or paradoxes (outside of logic).
in Mental Health, Serious Emotional Issues
Posted · Edited by youngshinzen
@Colin That‘s something I thought about too, I listen to rap and rnb and became conscious of the earwig while meditating. It definitely does a lot to our minds. I‘m trying to switch to instrumentals only?