youngshinzen

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Posts posted by youngshinzen

  1. Posted

    Now that I‘m off of my meds and more connected to myself through meditation, I can sense that the pressure and pain I have around my shoulder, neck and all the way up to my eye brows is a blockage that wants to be released through tears. If I really focus on the upcoming tear it builds up but won‘t come out. Sometimes I remember to check in with how I really feel and am able to get one tear out, that‘s it, the “door“ closes.

    Any advice on how to progress?

  2. Posted

    @Ampresus

    First off: You‘re doing great man, already doing so many things to calm you down and help you distance from all the emotional chaos you have.

    I had these arguments mostly with my dad back then, on a daily basis, sometimes for hours. And they still happen, 10 years later, but much less and if they happen, I handle them very differently, which is the key. You can influence the situation, anger cannot persist if you anchor yourself in acceptance.

    If you get into an argument next time, breath deeply into your belly and notice your breath throughout the whole situation. 

    That’s really important! Don‘t get lost too much into the conversation.

    If she shouts at you, ask her why she is doing that. Try to be curious about it, do NOT believe that you deserve it, because you don‘t. It will also help you to understand the situation. 

    You can also set boundaries and say that you don‘t think these arguments help either of you and that you respectfully want to end the discussion.

    If it still overcomes both of you to a certain degree, wait for it to be over and express all the anger immediately after that by throwing or punching your cushion. Lay on the mattress and kick with your legs, make fists and punch at the same time. Try to get it out of your system ASAP.

    Being 14 is really hard and I‘m proud of how you handle the situation, if there‘s anything you need DM me!

  6. Posted

    @kieranperez I mostly have a drive towards the absolute instead of running away from the environment I live in, but I will look into that more deeply. The last deep experience is years away and I can just assume the worth this work has, so there‘s still a feeling of freedom when i think of buying healthy food in the store, going out with friends, making music and so on.

    @Strikr Hard for me to see what would not be egoic, can you tell me?

    @Matt23 Who is that adressed to?

  9. Posted

    Hey,

    it‘s gotten better now that I‘m off of benzos, but there‘s still a tendency to high blood pressure. I was at a cardiologist and he diagnosed a light thickening of the heart wall, which is common with people who do marathons and so on, but I didn‘t, it might be solely due to stress and depression I had for a few years. 

    I also feel a certain tightness in my chest and back, like an emotional corset. I can also hear and feel my heart more than I like to.

    I‘m eating healthy, exercising and meditating to be as restful as possible. But are there more ways to improve the condition? 

    I heard that the heart chakra can close so much, that it leads to high blood pressure. Is that possible and might that be the case?

  14. Posted

    @winterknight

    1) Is life predetermined?

    2) Is there any value in using will power? Or should I just let go as much as possible and deal with the consequences?

    3) If there is not my experience as solipsism suggests, are there different experiences at the same time?

    4) I had many dreams that were very realistic and logical, is the same mechanism going on in reality? What‘s the difference between dreams and life?

    5) Is it possible to process deeply suppressed emotions without moving the body? Just through talking and awareness for example? Or is stretching, shaking, shouting etc. necessary?

  16. Posted · Edited by youngshinzen

    @winterknight

    A few years ago I had an experience where I realized that there is a “reason for everything“. This was the first thought that expressed the clarity I had at that moment. It was life changing and helped me to sense that I cannot be something I perceive, because there‘s a reason for everything I perceive and by definition I didn‘t choose it freely. So I‘m not connected to something and thought: “I must be in another dimension“. I didn‘t have any knowledge of enlightenment back then.

    Now I feel rather stuck and more advanced than others, so the seperation is still intact even though I try to think my way out of it. Also the solipsistic thought is persistent. How can I continue from here?

  18. Posted

    I just woke from a nap and some negative thought arose. It instantly lead to a sensation right in my heart area and I asked: What is this vulnerability and emotion?

    I sensed that me as the perceiver and the emotion were made from the same immaterial thing, just like thoughts, dreams or a hologram. There is not a hard emotion that feels a certain way. Just as if I touch something hard, it‘s not really hard, there is a thought of it being hard to make it hard.

    It was a very short moment of being aware of this and the first time for me. Of course I want to increase chances of this happening more often, but I saw that I was really curious about this emotion without wanting to get the insight. I didn‘t even know this insight waited for me.

    How do you deal with this counterintuitive topic?

  19. Posted

    Hey,

    I‘m 26, currently finishing my masters degree in logistics and planning on what to focus my life on as I‘m mostly avoiding to do the work for the subject I‘m studying. 

    The only moments that “fulfilled“ me in life were two mystical experiences, both brought absolute clarity, which is the most meaningful thing for me to strive for.

    The experiences helped to surrender to and dive into being alone and my natural self. But I‘m also not doing anything concentrated. I want to have a laser focus on something.

    Today I thought that noticing the breath not only during meditation but whenever I remember to do so would be one focused thing to do. But what would be a life path to improve chances of absolute clarity? One option would be living in a zen monastery, but I feel like the modern lifestyle would be missing. 

    What are possible ways and careers to have the best of both worlds and work passionately on raising consciousness?

    Thanks in advance.

  25. Posted

    5-Meo needed it's own theme song :D 

    Lyrics

    Part:
    Ok I'm chillin in Mexico
    Got sunburn on my testicles
    Sippin San Pellegrino
    Preparin' for 5meo
    Ceremony with Octavio
    Heart beatin' like its cardio
    Inhaling smoke like Snopp Do
    Double G, pardon me, i gotta lay down, 
    Way down im subconscious
    I got entities and enemies, waitin' to eat the inner me
    Pluggin' it like Leo (hey)
    Losin' my ego
    Until I realize that Jesus is inside of me - Rio 
    Woah

    Hook:
    5-Meo, 5-Meo (8x)

    Outro:
    ...
    Eternal Truth!