Hardkill

Member
 View profile  See their activity

  • Content count

    4,152

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by Hardkill

  1. Posted · Edited by Hardkill

    I am having a hard time still with motivating myself with work harding at my job and being independent. I tried already for a couple of days in a row including getting up by myself early in the morning without my parents waking me up, managing my schedule for the day, starting my schoolwork and job work, and I was able to do pretty all of that by myself. However, it felt very exhausting and overwhelming and made me feel so depressed because I felt like I was a victim of all of the responsibilities I had to take care of all by myself. How can I deal with the painful stresses of doing all of this myself every single day?

  2. Posted

    Okay, I will admit, that I kinda made a mistake in some of things I said regarding being a man. I actually do agree with everything Leo has said here in terms of being an authentic man. However, I still believe that a major part of being a man is about embracing those traits traditionally viewed as masculine including: strength, bravery, confidence, dominance, aggression, rationality/logical, decisive, etc. As a guy, learning to develop both those qualities as well as your own unique positive traits inside you that no one else will ever have, like what Leo was talking about in the above video, are what will truly make you into a true man.  

  3. Posted · Edited by Hardkill

    On 1/17/2019 at 3:21 PM, Hugo Oliveira said:

    Looks he delete his channel on Youtube. Really good content. Many stuff connecting sexuality + spirituality.
    Does anyone who download his videos could help?

    I remember that guy. I am actually surprised that he deleted his channel. He seemed like he knew what he was talking about. At least he's still on other vids on other channels on Youtube.

  7. Posted

    24 minutes ago, Emerald said:

    Quite simply, because it's the best way to live in a functional way that is conducive to your personal health and well-being as a human. And it also works to the benefit of human society in general. 

    There need be no other explanation, for the primary goal in all of this thinking is to go toward your own personal fulfillment... it's just that this desire has become unconscious to you under so many ideas, beliefs, assumptions, shoulds, and should nots.

    To put it in the simplest terms, it's good for things to be good and bad for things to be bad.

    It's something that all children know in their innocence. But adults (particularly intellectual adults) tend to lose sight of as their intellectual frameworks and projections get more complicated.

    Yeah all children know that these morals or ideals are the right thing to do. However, they are naive about the real world and how dark and unfair it is. This world cannot function on ideals and pleasantries. Sometimes we must go to the dark side to survive or succeed in life. 

    Also, I don't trust people including women as much as I used to.

  8. Posted

    38 minutes ago, Key Elements said:

    I'm saying that the definition of life purpose is different. You could work on it anytime, even by yourself. 

    Yes, it is helpful for you to get a job now. I would highly recommend it. Then, you could save some money to purchase useful stuff to improve yourself. Research and spend the money wisely.

    So my life purpose for now could be making money?

  9. Posted

    13 hours ago, Emerald said:

    On the existential level, there is no such thing as "owing". It's not actually real... it's just thoughts. "Owing" is a human concept that was made up for the practical purposes of value exchange within a human society. Similarly, there is no such thing as value, as this is also just a human concept created for the practical purpose of value exchange and decision making within a human society.

    But even though "owing" is just a concept, it is an integral tool to the workings of certain human systems to be able to function properly. And there is a difference between functionality and dysfunctionality as well as healthy and unhealthy. Just like a car needs certain parts and components relating together in very specific ways to function and drive from a to be, a human society also needs certain parts and components relating together in very specific ways to function well in a way that's healthy for the inhabitants and is conducive to the harmonious workings within that society.

    So, if you want a society to function well and you want to be part of a well-functioning society that runs harmoniously and smoothly (which by nature, you do), then ideas like "I don't owe anyone anything." is a very dangerous idea if taken on by the majority of people. This would lead to a society where everyone struggles on their own, no one helps anyone, and everyones only in it for themselves. 

    So, it is inherently healthy on the practical level of human societies for people to live in a harmonious and functional way, where there is a sense of community and everyone having everyone's best interests at heart and receiving the same in exchange. And this is a kind of value exchange. The more you give, the more you receive. The less you give, the less you receive.

    So, if a society collectively takes on the idea that "the world doesn't owe you anything." and takes that idea very seriously and buys heavily into the illusion of owing being real, then it will be a very hard, cold, and cruel society to live in that is not conducive to human health and well-being. So, it becomes a less functional society that's cut-throat and hostile, where no one is getting their needs met. And social decay and human suffering will abound. 

    But on the ultimate level, there is nothing invalid about social decay or human suffering. There is no value or lack-thereof, so you can't say that it's ultimately wrong that it exists. But if you are a human being who values health, well-being, and harmony (which you instinctually do), then you're going to want to be engaged in a society that has a social contract of mutual value exchange being freely given in at least the most basic of human decencies. 

    So, always ask yourself whenever you want to adopt a new belief or M.O.... "If everyone believed this and behaved in this way, would this society still be functional, harmonious, and conducive to health and well-being?" And from there it becomes very simple to know which ways of thinking are harmful to societal functionality and well-being. 

    Yeah, I agree with everything that you said here. So, when it comes to relationships or social situations, then why should I ever trust anyone if there are no guarantees in someone being there for us because neither one of us ever owes anything to the other when it comes to those kind of matters? 

    Also, why should I have faith or confidence that our goals or dreams will come true for sure if there are no guarantees that the world doesn't ever owe us success in life?

  10. Posted

    12 hours ago, Key Elements said:

    Nope. :| That's not the definition of life purpose. Life purpose has a profound / unique definition that you need to discover for yourself later on.

    I really think you got to sit down for a while and listen to yourself. 

    You already told us that you love teaching, and you love martial arts. Those are skills that you can use to get a job in, and eventually develop a life purpose later on. It's not just about making money.

    Do you want to make some money now to buy stuff that you need? Then, you need a job.

    So, it's not that my life purpose now should be about making more money for myself. It's just the main thing that I need to focus on now is making more money, right?

  11. Posted

    2 hours ago, Key Elements said:

    In that case, are you ready to live in isolation all by yourself? In the forest? In a cave? In a log cabin? Why live with your parents if they don't owe you anything? Why do you even have a gf? She doesn't owe you anything. You don't owe her anything too. What are you going to do if you need health insurance?

    Be ready to grow your own food and have hunting skills. Leo has a documentary or two on his blog about this topic, I believe.

    @Hardkill I think you're lucky to have your parents help you throughout your life. I thought you're trying to get your life together. We were having a discussion here.

    Well, ok. I don’t think that I can live in a cave by myself and survival out in the wild. I am grateful that my parents have been able to support me well. You’re right, I am lucky in that sense.

    The thing is that I because there are “no guarantees in life” I just don’t know what to do or what the best option is for me for the rest of my life. I don’t want to waste my whole life going down a wrong path and then end up regretting it on my deathbed. 

    I remember you’re last post on one of my previous threads, where you mentioned about the fact that I need to make money first. So, is making money my life purpose for now?

  12. Posted

    Valid point have been made here. However, what about when it comes to friends or people we are dating? I mean, there will always be time where people want to respond to any of your messages on any platform for whatever reason they have. It hurts, but none of the people whom you just met or barely know owe you a response. A lot of people cheat on their partners or take advantageous of them. It's not right that those people did that, but they don't owe anything to them really. So why don't we all just be rude, cheat, and lie? We don't owe it to anyone to be a decent human being.

  13. Posted · Edited by Hardkill

    1 hour ago, Eric Tarpall said:

    My ego is the size of jupiter lol

    My nose compensates for that.

    It's already too late for that. A healthy long term relationship has to start when you're in your early teens.

    I met my very first real girlfriend last year when I was 30 years old and I don’t usually like to brag, but a lot of people throughout my whole life have told me that I look like a model or actor. Hell, some have even said that I am better looking than A LOT of models and actors, including celebrity level ones out there.

  14. Posted

    Hey guys, I just realized something. You know how they say that "no one owes you anything" or "the world doesn't owe you anything" even if you do all of the right things. Well, if that's the case then why are any of us obligated to do what should be done for this world? For example, why should we help others who are desperately in need of money or sustenance? Nobody owes them food, liquids, or money just as nobody owes you food, liquids, or money if you were very poor. Let's take even another example. Why should anyone have to be honest about anything with their romance partners or even those who they are dating just casually? Hell, why not just cheat on your partner for that matter? The people you are dating don't owe you honesty and you don't owe them any honesty in return. How about when it comes to paying some money to someone you technically are in debt to? Besides, having to pay taxes and credit card bills because of the laws in our society, we don't owe anyone else to give them money in return for the money we got from others and vice-versa? Even when it comes to friendships and family, no friend or family member owes you their support in any way or form and vice-versa. In fact, they don't owe you any response from them just as you don't owe them any response at all. 

    What do you guys say about all of this?

  17. Posted

    17 minutes ago, Key Elements said:

    @Hardkill I kept emphasizing on life purpose because it could be a vehicle to fully self-actualize yourself. It's inclusive of enlightenment and helps you discover and understand yourself, and also love yourself better.

    A relationship is not a vehicle! Be careful. 

    It's not going to be easy if you don't know what kind of relationship you want. If this is the case, you probably need to work on yourself to discover yourself more.

    Unfortunately, I can't find the time and money to buy an LP program like Leo's at this point in time. Believe me, I wish I could now, but I don't know how right now.

  18. Posted

    49 minutes ago, ajasatya said:

    no problem, but open relationships are not more advanced than monogamous ones. in fact, the most developed people i've ever seen were either in complete celibacy or fully committed to a monogamous relationship.

    Well yeah open relationships aren't necessarily more advanced in terms of the type of relationship. However, as @Elisabeth just said, managing an open relationship requires learning advanced relationship skills fast. I even just read a few reliable sources that explained that to be the case. Not to mention, the amount of time I would have to manage with my life for an open relationship, and I suck at time management.

  19. Posted

    Alright, then I've believe that I've finally come to the decision of trying out this long-term committed relationship that I am in. After receiving the advice you guys all gave me and having further looked up more about polyamory relationships, I actually don't think that I am really ready for that. Hopefully in the future, after I've gained enough relationship experience in general, I will be ready for an open relationship. Thank you everyone.

  20. Posted

    5 hours ago, ajasatya said:

    petty, shallow and egoist. sorry, i need those words to shake your beliefs.

    build a solid foundation grounded on virtues. the true beauty of men has nothing to do with looks. it's all about our power to live a healthy and virtuous life.

    Your concern is valid. A lot of men out there like me used to be very concerned about ever doing pickup again. However, the fact is that it’s been extremely rare for someone to be arrested for just trying to picking up someone out on the street. Just don’t be like Julien Blanc who advertises that stupid joke or meme that advocated for verbally and physically abusing women and don’t be like that downtown LA “predator” Dan Cilley who got registered as a sex offender for getting caught posting video recordings on Youtube, for public viewing access, of the hundreds of girls he filmed on his camera without getting permission from any of them, including a 15 year old whom he asked for her number and possibly a date. He even made his camera recording so obvious to every single one of the girls he filmed that the vast majority of them asked or told him to not film them. Furthermore, even when they said no, he kept going at it with them. Just don’t be like those guys and you should be fine when cold approaching.

  23. Posted · Edited by Hardkill

    6 hours ago, Krzysztof said:

    @Hardkill

    Hold on, the dysfunction comes from not being happy with where your life is heading, right? If you work on what you like it looks to me like your thoughts about your life going in the wrong direction may be very reduced. Do you feel the same way?

    Also, maybe a different kind of work may work better for you? For example if you need to work with people directly, this will usually give you much less opportunities for getting distracted or letting your mind drift in unpleasant directions. Work in solitude (like the sanding thing) seems to be a bad choice for your tendencies. Cause a) you can actually check your phone and b) there is no pressure comming from in-person contact or work with time constraints.

    What kind of activities make your mind go quiet?

    Hmm, maybe going in the "right direction" would make things feel a lot less like grueling work. 

    Sometimes working out or practicing martial arts helps to quiet my mind. 

    However, I have to get this Master's degree in teaching. I already had to withdraw from an OT program from another university and I just recently turned 31 and my really really want to stop supporting me as soon as possible and I want to stop them supporting as much as possible. So what can I do to tolerate the workload I will have to deal with for the rest of the program that I am in.

  24. Posted · Edited by Hardkill

    Guys, this all sounds good, but even if I do find some hobby or something I am passionate about that would give me the best shot to or even perhaps a guarantee to make me good money, I don’t even know if I’ll even be able to have the mental stamina or willpower to follow through with it enough. 

    I mean how can I expect to ever independently run a business or independently make my own through tutoring or what have you, if I am still such a dysfunctional worker? 

    Also, what will I do when I have really bad meltdowns in the future over failing something constantly especially when to come business related work?

    I am not trying to say that you guys are wrong, but I still don’t know how I am ever going to get myself together as a functional independent adult? 

    Also, I forgot to mention that unfortunately I can’t afford at this point in time to pay for a qualified therapist or coach whom I can see like every week or month to help me out with this situation.

  25. Posted

    12 hours ago, Elisabeth said:

    I have been part of polyamorous communities since 4 years now. Polyamory is real, and it's not just men's thing - quite the opposite, on the polyamory.com forum we observe, that most long-lasting happy relationships are or MFM shape. But it's rare and requiring you to develop advanced relationship skils fast. 

    In your case, Hardkill, I can guarantee you're looking into it for all the wrong reasons. Successfully polyamorous people aren't those who don't want to commit fully and wish to sleep around. Successfully polyamorous people usually more like are like "I have a strong bond with so many people, and with some of them, we choose to add touch, but we can take it or leave it" and "I choose partners which are polyamorous too, but I would never ever do something that hurts them, I care about their well-being like my own". 

    Ask yourself, how do you feel if

    • Your girlfriend i sleeping with some other dude?
    • You decide to open up the relationship, and suddenly she has several prospects, while you can't find anyone? (a very common scenario)
    • You have to take care of the feelings, likes and dislikes, of not one, but two girlfriends? (the reality, unless you want to leave a trail of woe behind)
    • You have a new date tonight that you'd rather have sex with, but you have to tell her first that you already have a partner? and respect when she's all confused or rejects you about that? (That's that honesty you are talking about!)
    • Your two partners are in conflict, and you are the one who has to remain calm and impartial and compassionate with both?
    • You'd rather have a sex date with your new sweetie tonight, but you have obligations with your old girlfriend or her family? 

    If you feel "ugh" about any of these, the polyamorous reality is NOT for you. 

    Maybe now you say, "ok, so maybe I'm looking for more open/swinging" type relationship. Still, see point one and two: What if your (hypothetical next one, not this one, since she will hardly agree) girlfriend now has two committed sexual relationships, as women tend to want sometimes? What if he's better in bed then you are? Is it worth the effort to find women who will sleep with you despite your relationship status?

    Just do your best to commit for now. If the urge to date or sleep with someone else is irresistible, you break up first. I'm not saying you can never do polyamory, but for now, I'm pretty confident you don't have the skills, and it would blow up into your face. 

    I see your point. 

    As to answering your questions:

    1. I think that I wouldn't mind it if she slept with another.

    2. Yeah, I would feel down about that. However, I think I've finally began to crack the code with dating and how the game works after all of these years of trial and error in practice and extensive research like crazy. I just have to keep playing the numbers game and constantly work on my charisma and masculinity.

    3. Yeah, I am not sure about how I would be able to handle that. It could at least be a learning experience for me.

    4. I think that I would be mentally prepared to handle that. This could also It could at least be a learning experience for me.

    5. Same answer as I have for the previous question.