Hardkill
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Posts posted by Hardkill
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45 minutes ago, DocWatts said:I think you'd really have to reach back in American history to find another US president that's less qualified for the job. Maybe as far back as someone like Andrew Johnson who was extremely racist (even for the standards of the day) and bungled Reconstruction, eventually getting himself Impeached due to his obstructionism when it came to extending any sorts of rights or recognition for black people.
Yeah, that's what I am saying. How about Andrew Jackson who was president a few decades earlier than Andrew Johnson? Jackson was a terrible racist.
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1 hour ago, Preety_India said:@Hardkill that's a very long process. But I'm confused. You said 2 years. How is it 2 years?
Well, I mean that they don't have to campaign for 2 years in order to be allowed to run for the office. However, most presidential candidates began their campaigns almost 2 years before the day or night of the actual presidential election. https://www.thoughtco.com/when-the-race-for-president-begins-3367552
I think the presidential campaigns that occurred respectively for the the 2008, 2012, 2016 presidential elections were way too ridiculously long. Even the presidential campaigns for these upcoming elections have not been any shorter.
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28 minutes ago, LarryW said:I can only admire you Americans for your stamina through the long election process, which takes a whole year doesn't it?
Well, the election process is not a long series of steps that the candidates have to go through for about a whole year per se. What's really been happening since around the beginning of the new millennium is that presidential candidates such as Biden and Trump end up campaigning for about 2 years before election night. Also, all presidential candidates from the two main ("electable") parties, the Republican and Democratic parties, have to first go through a preliminary race called the primaries. This means that all of the Republican presidential candidates first have to compete against each other in their own party's race for the official title and position of being the Republican party's one and only presidential nominee for the main general election. The same goes for the Democratic presidential candidates, whereby they first have to compete against each other in their own party's race for the official title and position of being the Democratic party's one and only presidential nominee for the main general election. This is done by popular vote. The final determination of the single nominees for each of the respective parties usually occurs around the middle of the calendar years, and about a few months before the election night of the US presidential general election.
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1 hour ago, DocWatts said:Biden kind of strikes me as the textbook definition of what people think of as a bland, middle of the road career politician. Just happenstance that after four years of Trump's antics that a boring old guy is a breath of fresh air for much of the country.
As an aside, this Futurama quote comes to mind when I'm going in to vote for safe, middle of the road politicians without strong convictions or an inspiring vision because it's the only realistic alternative to right wing authoritarianism.
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Yeah, I agree with you on that. I still worry that there may still be too many block-headed people who are still not getting it in their heads that Trump has become arguably the most unstable, most dishonorable, and most unqualified president ever in contemporary U.S. history, whereas Biden is a truly temperate, honorable, and qualified politician who absolutely gives off the impression and actually is much more presidential than Trump could ever be.
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15 hours ago, Gidiot said:Idk. Michael Moore has a really good political sense but what’s actually been working for Biden is to retreat and to let trump clog the news cycle with his own bull crap. Biden is guilty of pandering towards Latinos and the black community for sure and his ground game is weak as hell. I think a big reason Hillary lost was certainly the lack of ground game as well as the Corey email scandal just 11 days before the elections and also the fact that she was disliked and had a lot of baggage.
Biden’s reputation/ baggage is mostly bad policy, 1 credible rape allegation and his dementia , which sadly is still a lot less than the baggage of Hillary haha.
as long as he shows up for the debates, does mediocre and doesn’ die before the election he should win. Some of the voting is already being cast and how many people are actually voting for him as opposed to against trump.
I think doing more ground game actually could hurt Biden but Michael certainly had a point, a progressive president should be all over the campaign trail and talking to everyone, but Biden certainly isn’t a populist and certainly isn’t a progressive. He won so many states on Super Tuesday without barely even stepping foot in them.
I was perturbed by that but that’s how establishment candidates win, don’t go to too crazy and let things play out while not taking any risks.
Yeah, I see your point. Well, I hope you're right. I wonder what highly skilled marketers like Leo have to say about what Michael Moore is saying.
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Hey guys, it's been a long time since I last posted on here. So, as we all know, it's currently election season for the U.S. and I have been constantly worried about the outcome of our upcoming Presidential election as well as the U.S. Congressional election. Now, I know that Biden this time has been put in a significantly better position for winning than Hillary was during the 2016 election due to the myriad current events having occurred within the past several months which have greatly worked in Biden's favor of winning the presidency. However, Michael Moore, who is a major political activist and was one of the few people who last time predicted that Trump would win the 2016 election, is saying that according to the Detroit Free poll, Biden's lead over Trump has lately shrunk from 16 points in June to 8 points during mid-September. I think if I recall correctly, after having read another post somewhere on this Forum, someone already mentioned this. However, I don't recall anybody actually responding to that post.
Now, Michael Moore said that everyone should be "screaming bloody murder" because of that one poll which has shown Biden's lead having been cut in half. It's not just the tightening of that poll itself that worries him. It's the reason behind that which he believes is cause for great panic amongst everybody throughout the whole country. What he's talking about is that the Biden campaign has been doing an "invisible campaign," which Michael says is one of the major mistakes they are making because they should actually be doing pretty much the complete opposite of that, which is doing much more "ground game" campaigning than even Hillary and her entire campaign team did during her whole 2016 campaign. He also said that another big mistake that the Biden Campaign is doing is constantly trying to win over as many Republicans as they can for Biden. He says that instead of wasting so much time on that, the Biden campaign needs to do a number of things which include Biden himself needing to visit more of "Black Michigan", visit more of the Latino communities in each of the battleground states, put out a lot of Biden/Harris yard signs and billboards all over in each of the battleground states like in Michigan, have some IRL rallies in each of the battleground states, etc. His rationale is that the main reason why Hillary lost in 2016 was not just because of Hillary' weaker level of charisma and overall campaign strategy compared to Trump. It was also largely because of the significant reduction in overall turnout in 2016 compared to the voter turnout that occurred in the more previous presidential elections such as those in 2000, 2004, 2008, and 2012 respectively. The reduction in overall turnout during the 2016 election was indeed largely because there were a lot less blacks, Latinos, and leftists in 2016 than those during the earlier presidential elections who ultimately decided either not to vote at all or vote 3rd.
Michael Moore indeed has a very valid point and he really alarmed me (maybe rightly so) when he further said that if the Biden campaign does not change up their strategy by doing what he has been greatly pleading them to do, then Trump might very well win again, and we cannot survive another 4 years of the Trump administration. What do you all think about this?
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It's very sad to see the amount of the kind of deplorable people we truly have in our country ever since Obama left office. This is one of the main reasons that I am really worried about the future of America.
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6 minutes ago, mattstivender said:Is it just me or do these people not seem intimidating?
Yeah, they don't look intimidating at all. Unless, they were a gang of Neo-nazis, White supremacists, and/or Skinheads with guns, I wouldn't take any crap from any MAGA supporters. Besides, most of these people in this vid look too out of shape and burned out to even put up any kind of fight.
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3 hours ago, Average Investor said:Plenty of places in need of more people due to this though too. Just have to go apply. Not just limited to grocery stores.
Sell some stuff you own on eBay and Mercari to pool up some extra cash. You can get usps and fedex pick up from your porch.
I have nothing to sell really. Is there any other kind of way to make money online?
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Guys, I am getting so desperate to make money. I am tired of living with my parents, but I wouldn't be able survive outside of my parents' home as I have inadequate independent functional skills and very little money of my own. I have been unable to get any unemployment benefits because it wasn't until about 2 months ago when I first started to work for a business outside my family's business. I am currently on furlough for my job, which is at Macy's, and I've only got to work there for only 2-3 weeks. So, I don't have a long enough history of any sort of official payment (like checks) that were personally made to me. Therefore, I don't qualify for any unemployment benefits. I know the Coronavirus pandemic has made it almost impossible to get a job at any real life store or business. Also, my elderly parents will not let me get even an essential job like one in the grocery store because they are too afraid of me catching the virus and then spreading it to them; however, as a 32 year old man who is effing tired of being financially dependent upon my parents, I desperately want to make some more money of my own. So is there some kind of online avenue that could help me make some kind of money for the time being?
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On 4/3/2020 at 0:27 AM, Leo Gura said:You can always ask directly: "What would your ideal candidate look like?" Then try to actually fit that.
You can also ask, "Do you have any hesitations hiring me? What are they? Let me address them and show you why I'm the best you'll find for this position."
I actually already tried asking a few of the hiring managers who decline to hire me what feedback I can get for why I wasn't hire or what I could do better for possibly the next time I apply for the very same or a similar position to it. Yet, some of them said that they don't give reasons as to why they didn't hire me and other hiring managers simply ignored my request for feedback. Also, I also heard that hiring managers don't tell the candidates whom they declined why they didn't pick them for the job because it could otherwise put their companies at risk of getting into some sort of lawsuit situation.
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On 3/30/2020 at 11:23 PM, supremeyingyang said:What is your qualification?
You need no special Oneliner or so, just go and ask them. Go to new stores and ask no matter if they said they search employees. Maybe you think about why you need that job and tell them that. Sometimes you need to be very persistent (like waiting 1 hour to get to the manager or apply for 15 more jobs).
With Corona it is unlikely to get a job, but after that it's, like someone here said, just a mindset issues. You can do it!
What if I get rejected by 100+ more jobs I applied to? How do you know that I can do it?
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On 3/27/2020 at 6:43 PM, Average Investor said:Luck is really defined by the amount of opportunities that you take. The more you increase them, then you will likely get better results. I would recommend working on your speaking skills, attire, and resume. Also, start to follow up on your applications as well. By that I mean by actually going in and talking to the manager about you application a few times, even if they just blow you off. I should also mention that a lot of stuff is probably not going to be hiring as much during the pandemic aside from stuff like Amazon, grocery stores, etc.
How can I talk to the managers who declined to hire me? They can't or won't tell me why they didn't hire me?
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Guys, I've been trying to get another job lately, but I've already been rejected by about 30 jobs that I applied to. I only got one part time job at Macy's which pays minimum wage. I was close to getting a job at Wells Fargo as a teller and a job at a really fancy hotel, but I got turned down by both of them after my interview for each of them. It's so frustrating and I feel very hopeless. How much of a numbers game is it? How much luck is really involved in finding a regular decent job?
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On 3/3/2020 at 6:10 PM, Average Investor said:Intuition plays a big part in that. Some people naturally gravitate towards it without even knowing what a life purpose is. Most of the youngest that became successful were usually in an environment, where someone realized their talent or allowed them to have room to grow their skills. Most will end up going through standard education that will promote them to just work a job. I recall taking a test at school that said I should become a taxi driver. Now granted I enjoy driving cars, but at the time I almost considered that an insult. Not to say that there is not anyone out there highly successful in a similar position. There are a lot of factors that will cause one to go a certain route in life.
Also, you would be surprised by that fact that most of those rich and famous people are not actually happy. But some of them really are because they did really pursue their passion to the max. I am sure a good chunk of those people ended up famous, or whatever and now feel they cannot stop as they are very successful in the endeavor. So I assume maybe you have come to the same stop now that you say you cannot finish your degree. But I suppose I have to ask if you genuinely enjoy teaching? Is it what would make you happy even if it had no pay?
There is no rush, but it is really nice to identify what your purpose is as soon as you can. But I think there is a lot of things to note. Outer purpose only goes so far and it can change. Inner purpose is something that does not vary. This is a good lesson that I learned from Eckhart Tolle. So while it may seem as if you need to have some big important thing on the outside, that may not always be the case. A lot of it comes down to your interactions in this life will effect the world around you.
Once you are able to discover what it is your love to do, can make money at, what you are good at, and what the world needs it can narrow it down a bit. Some people find that their purpose does not really pay in monetary value, but instead fulfillment. I think that most could achieve both though.
What really excites you in life? What makes you the most happy while you are doing it? What would you do if you did not have to worry about money? What is something you would change about the world? What is something you have struggled with most of your life?
Fitness, acting, martial arts, fine arts, studying some anatomy/physiology. I would do any of those hobbies if I didn't have to worry about money. I wish I could get more people to workout more often, but it's very difficult to get clients who want to commit to it. I've struggled with finishing grad school twice and struggled to get even a decent job for myself.
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So, I am still struggling to figure out what my life purpose at, especially since I recently was forced to quit my master's in teaching program about a month ago. I still can't afford to pay for Leo's Life Purpose course and I feel so lost at the age of 32. I know that we shouldn't constantly compare ourselves to others, but what I truly would like to know is how some people were able to figure out at such a very young age what they were meant to succeed in for their lives. Like how did so many of these celebrities who first became successful during their late teens or 20s figure out and continue to succeed onwards decades later figure out at such an age that they were destined to become a highly successful actor, musicians, models, athletes, business people, entrepreneurs, scientists, heroes, etc.? How do others like Leo Gura or these other young highly successful Youtubers or Instagram figures for various genres such as Fitness, Music, Art, Comedy, Filming, Gaming, Fashion, Business, Entrepreneurship, Tutoring, Dating, etc. figure out ALL ON THEIR OWN AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE that what they have succeeded in doing is what they were going to be successful at and truly be passionate and happy about in the future and for the rest of their lives? I bet that the vast majority of these people didn't even have something like a Life Purpose to guide them to help them figure it all out.
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Yeah, but isn't this so unusual that he couldn't get even just one woman to even settle with him, despite all of the time and effort that he put into dating? He even tried virtually everything form A-Z to improve his dating and still couldn't get even one 3rd date with any girl at all. I bring this up because guys like me who have suffered from the pain of having more bad than good experiences with dating and constantly struggle to get out of the dating rut no matter what we do. Before I got my first girlfriend ever at the age of 30 (which is very late) and slept with a few other girls before met her I went through the hell of having to be rejected by hundreds of girls I approached IRL (in every kind of place or venue possible) and countless amount of girls I tried to connect with with every kind of online dating app out there. Additionally, over the past few months, my girlfriend has been playing games with me over whether or not she can trust me anymore. A lot of times she is also very controlling over me. So, my relationship hasn't been so great lately.
Many times I feel and think that maybe guy's like me and that guy in the video might just have to let go of dating and move on with the rest of our lives because improve dating appears to be futile and potentially very damaging to one's own self-esteem and confidence. It's such a painful cross to bear as a good man, especially someone like me who has some degree of Asperger's or is socially awkward like that 47 year old man is, to have to face constant rejection.
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I just came across this vid of a clip from an episode of Dr. Phil. I felt really bad for this guy. Why didn't the law of averages work in his favor? I thought that after a certain amount of experience and rejections from women you would inevitably get a yes from a girl.
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20 hours ago, Anna1 said:I read your post yesterday. I'm sorry I didn't reply. I forgot, to be honest. That's great news that they offered you a job! I understand your not a morning person (me either). You'll have to decide if you want to try or not.
That's okay. I appreciate all responses you have given me.
20 hours ago, Anna1 said:I guess it depends how scarce jobs are were you live. I mean, if others are having a hard time too, because of supply and demand. I remember when my son was applying for his first job when he was 16. I kept saying what is the problem? Why is no one calling you? He finally yelled at me and said, "I've been telling you...there's too many ppl looking for a job and I have no experience!!!!". Anyways, we finally helped him get a job at a car dealer as a porter, because we knew the manager, so he gave him a shot.
Well then he got lucky. I mean if you didn't know someone like that manager, then what would you have done to ensure that your son would be able to secure some kind of job?
20 hours ago, Anna1 said:Yes and no, I had worked there twice before years ago, so they knew I did good work and my documentation skills are darn good. So, it was right time, right place, really. But, yes, they still offered it to me, without me asking, which was still surprising.
What if I never get into the right place and right time?
20 hours ago, Anna1 said:I didn't get a PM from you. Are you having trouble sending it? I will have more time to review it on thursday night, if you can get it to me by then?
I actually didn't PM you anything yet. I will sent it today. I just got so pre-occupied with other things going on in my life.
20 hours ago, Anna1 said:I know you'd rather be independent, but at least you have them to lean on for now. They won't let you be homeless at least, which was one of your worries.
That's for the time being, but my parents are both already over the age of 70 and I don't know how much longer they are going to live, let alone be able to continue to support me. I also feel so guilty for continuing to be such a burden to them while they don't get to enjoy the end of their lives being happily retired.
20 hours ago, Anna1 said:It's not worth it. I'm a suicide survivor and I'm telling you that thought can cause loads of suffering, but you aren't your thoughts. You need to learn to create a gap between you and thought. Have you ever done neti-neti meditation/inquiry. If done right, you see you can't be what you perceive and you can have a break through.
It seems your depression is situational, not because you have a mental illness, right? Maybe you could benefit from a bit of counseling ?
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I don't know what neti-neti meditation/inquiry is. Though I have been meditating frequently, if not almost everyday since the beginning of last September of 2019.
My depression is a combination of both situational and a chemical imbalance.
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On 2/18/2020 at 7:54 PM, Anna1 said:I really feel so depressed lately and I am not sure if I can continue enduring this constant unhappiness in my life. I have become very ambivalent about whether or not I should continue living anymore.
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On 2/18/2020 at 3:37 PM, Anna1 said:I'm sure it's fine, but I'd be willing to look it over for you if you want.
Well, that's good. ?
How many interviews have you had? And how long have you been looking?
Well, PT now requires a doctorate degree and the bachelor's leading up to it has to be in health sciences.
Have you thought of a PTA program? Home care is good for nurses, PT, OT and their assistants for those that prefer or do best with one on one contact vs too much multi-tasking. However, you still have to get through the schooling.
I was 34 when I started college and 37 when I graduated and got my nursing license. So, I know all about college at an older age. I had been an EMT and a cosmetologist earlier in my life.
Nice! You don't hear that every day. Maybe make some voice tapes and send them to an talent agent.
See, you have many talents!
Yes. Also, I think someone mentioned it? But, teaching students with learning disabilities ?
Do you live alone? Do you support yourself with student loans currently?
Hang in there. Sometimes we go through really tough challenges in life, just to come out somewhere in the end that we couldn't have even imagined.
A year ago, I quit my job as a home care coordinator and didn't have a job to replace it and then couldn't find another job doing what I wanted. After 4 months and going through thousands of dollars of my savings I took a home care nursing job where i was back in the field, just so i would have a job. Little did I know at the time that that job would lead me to getting a promotion within 6 months to clinical manager of the home care agency, which is my current job.
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Hey, I am back. I fortunately just got a part-time job offer a few days ago Macy's. However, during the interview they did ask if I can come in at 6am during the weekdays, to which I said yes. I realized how stupid that was of me to say that given how unrealistic it will be for me to do that as I am not a morning person at all. Hopefully, I will be able to change that. If not I might have to give it up and hope for another job.
I've applied to about 12 jobs and have been interviewed for 2 of them.
I live with my parents who continue to support financially completely.
Well that's great that you got a good promotion. You must've gotten lucky. I don't know if I'll ever get that kind of luck myself.
Sure. I would really appreciate it if you looked through my current resume. Thank you. I'll PM you my resume.
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20 hours ago, Anna1 said:I see, it seems you are trying very hard to compensate as best you can with the issues.
Do you still need help with the resume? What type of jobs have you been applying for lately? Do you look the interviewer in the eye and shake hands, speak fluently when asked questions? Any problems with that kinda stuff?
So, a few thoughts, if you don't want to try again with the teaching, which I don't know if you do or don't, but if not, what else could you do with the bachelor's degree you already have? Could you change majors with the masters program? Have you looked to see if you'd be interested in anything else?
If you want to continue, then maybe you'd do better next time? Not sure, but like someone else said maybe a job doing teaching, one on one (tutoring) or not in person (on-line). You may have to get creative.
Like I said earlier, I also had to get creative, because I couldn't tolerate floor nursing. I had to almost beg for my first home health agency to hire me, because you usually need to be a nurse a minimum of one year in medical/surgical and I had only 4 months. After my interview, I called every week for 3 weeks, until they said okay.
After about a year in home health I had to start case managing and doing visits and I had a very hard time. I had a nervous breakdown basically and did something really stupid.
I don't want to see you do something stupid, because of a job/career. I know you've put a lot of time into this and have money invested in this specific career, but you may have to find something else. Change gears altogether...
Personally, I wish I would've been an accountant!
I don't know if I need help with the resume. I do look the interviewer in the eye and shake hands, speak fluently when asked questions. I also come off as comfort yet very courteous during my interviews. I always have good hygiene and an excellent physical appearance (especially since I've always been considered to be a very good looking guy who is into fitness).
I've been applying to all kinds of jobs such as ones at hotels, construction companies, art stores, clothing stores, science laboratory jobs at a university, coffee/tea shops, etc.
I have a Bachelor's degree in Art (Visual Fine Arts). I can't change majors with my masters program. I always wanted to be a PT or sport rehab medical doctor, but I don't see how that can every be a reality, now that I am 32 years old. I also thought about voice acting given how talented I am at doing various kinds of voices and impressions. Yet, even succeeding in voice acting may seem too much of a fantasy for me. I don't know what are the chance of me ever succeeding in something like that. I am a certified assistant instructor in the martial art Hapkido and have a 3rd degree black belt in the art, but I don't even enough of my own to open up my own, much less maintain a studio of my own.
Tutoring doesn't sound like a bad idea. I could try looking into that.
By the way, I've been having some anxiety attacks lately about the future of my career and it really freaks me out when I see online that there have been many people who have mentioned in many different kinds of forums that they applied to hundreds if not thousands of jobs, but couldn't successfully get even one. I am so scared about being homeless.
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48 minutes ago, Anna1 said:Sorry to hear about this, its sounds like you are trying so hard too. ?
Sometimes we have challenges that we just can't do much about, except roll with the punches. My career has been a major challenge also. I'm an RN. I couldn't hang with being a hospital bedside nurse. It was just too damn hard, so went into home health.
Anyways, I feel for you. When I was at a college in the nursing program ppl were dropping like flies (getting kicked out) like crazy. Started with 43 and 2 yrs later there were 11 left. One lost her mind when it happened to her, she started stripping at a club and doing hard drugs. She died of a heroin OD 1 year later. So, sad because she allowed it to completely destroy her.
You have gotten pretty damn far education wise (in a masters degree program) to just give up. Keep fighting, if it's what you want to do. Keep searching for ways to help yourself improve. I know nothing about that career, so can't help with specific ideas, sorry.
However, I am curious, when you say this-
"Even at the hospitals I volunteered, they thought that I've was becoming a liability to the patients I was assigned to help."
Why did they say this? Perhaps it will give some insight to a behavior that needs tweaked?
And this-
"I've already been rejected by several jobs that I just recently applied for."
Do you think it's your resume? Or a behavior ppl are seeing?
I honestly am only asking to see if I can help. If you don't want to explore it, then I understand.
At the hospitals, I couldn’t follow directions well enough because I couldn’t listen or pay attention well enough. For decades, I’ve been taking meds for concentration and tried all kinds of special listening skills for someone with my disabilities.
I don’t know. I can’t figure it out. I tried asking my parents, my sister, and my brother-in-law for help with my resumes and my behavior, but nothing has helped enough.
Honestly, I don’t what there is for me for ever getting and keeping any job. No one owes me a job and I probably don’t even deserve to have any kind of job.
I don’t know much more of this emotional pain I can take before I decide to finally take my own life.
Furthermore, even if I don’t commit suicide, I don’t know how I will be able to survive when my parents are no longer alive to support me.
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Things have not been going well lately with my career. Last week, I was forced to take a leave of absence from my Master's degree in Teaching program because I screwed up with the teaching placement internship experience for my program twice. I couldn't follow my guiding teacher's instructions effectively enough and I was too slow with delivering my lesson plan. The first time I got cancelled was back in early September, and then I had to go through a 4 month placement academic review (PAR) process with a guidance counselor, who was supposed to help fix all of the issues I had during my first placement experience. I worked with this counselor consistently for over 4 months on extensive outlining and planning a toolbox of things for me to use for my second chance at another placement site which I tried during the middle and end of last month. I always came on time if not early everyday to my placement site and always look very decent and very professional. I acted as a very polite, respectful, and decent individual who behaved appropriately around the faculty and the school kids.
According to the complaints the assistant placement director she received from my first guiding teaching were:
1. I had difficulty following directions a number of times and so my guiding teacher during a number of instances had to modify the set of instructions or directions she gave me for a certain task or assignment she gave me to do.
2. I took too long to do certain task given to me by my guiding teacher, such as cutting pieces of paper in the faculty work area for about 25 min.
3. I made her feel uncomfortable when I was near her personal space (*this was actually not true and I don't know what she was talking about).
One of the most unfortunate things about all of that was that my first guiding teacher never even talked to me or warned me clearly about any of this in person before she decided to cancel my placement. She instead told her boss, the principal that she couldn't work with me any longer, and then the principal herself told the assistant director about it, who then told me about the news over a phone call and email. This guiding teacher turned out to be a spineless coward who didn't have ANY DIGNITY to tell me this in person. Instead, she blindsided me by telling me on the very last day that I saw her that would see me next week and then go tell the principal about her issue with me behind my back. I of course felt very devastated by this and actually fell into a major depression over this during the following few months.
After completing that placement academic review process with the counselor and got myself prepared to go back and try again at another school placement site, I did my very best to implement EVERYTHING that me and my PAR counselor work very thoroughly on to ensure my success this time around.
This last guiding teacher I worked was more upfront in a good way and really did try to help me success this time with the placement. I thought that I was performing better this time around by being even more active and prepared to help out my guiding teacher's students in the classroom in every way possible. I came off as a very likable and charismatic person who project even more enthusiasm, energy, and alertness then I did before during my last placement site experience, not just around my guiding teacher and other faculty members, but also with the all of the kids. Also, I always came on time if not early everyday to my placement site and always look very decent and very professional, just as I did during my placement site. I acted as a very polite, respectful, and decent individual who behaved appropriately around the faculty and the school kids.
However, there were unfortunately a number of instances times were I did screw up following the directions and each time I would screw up she would mention it to me. Eventually, she told me that she became increasingly concerned with my ability to follow directions because as a teacher I have to "think on my feet." Furthermore, I took too long with with my very first lesson plan, which I co-taught with the teacher (I ended having the lesson taught for about 3 times a long as it should have been time-wise). Finally, last week on Monday I got a call from the Assistant Director of the Placement, who told me that she had noticed the concerns from the emails she received from both my guiding teacher and my university class professor (who taught the class I had to take concurrently with my placement site experience and is part of my Master's degree teaching program) about my performance. The Assistant Director stated that she was receiving the same concerns that she received from last placement (except this time there was no complaint about me making the guiding teacher feel uncomfortable like my previous guiding teacher complained about). while my placement was technically not being cancelled again yet, she estimated that most likely it will be cancelled. I told her that I while I understood these concerns, I told her that I was actually getting better this time and improving from my mistakes over the course of the few weeks of my placement experience. She said "Yeah.....though to be honest your guiding teacher and university professor have felt that you haven't been making fast enough progress. They also said in their email conversations that they are very concerned that I could jeopardize the kids' education and not be able to effectively manage them." This shattered me completely and I told her how horrible I felt and how very disappointed and upset none of my success advisor and PAR counselor failed to fix my issues and prepare enough the second time around for the placement site. My PAR counselor was supposed to ensure my success as long as I completed the PAR program with her 100% completely, which I did. The Assistant Director said that I indeed successfully completed the PAR course with the counselor and was confident that I would be prepared this time around; however, she said that they can only do so much and apparently were not and are not able to help with the specific issues I have. She said that sometime later during the week or next week that someone would be coming in to observe my performance. However, the deadline for dropping the course and getting my refund of this quarter's tuition was the day after my phone call with the Assistant director. Also, she said that because she predicts that my site placement will probably be cancelled again, I will this time have to go under a serious academic review from university to decide whether or not I should be terminated or what to even do with me. I decided that I couldn't risk losing the opportunity for my refund and eventually getting notified and have on my school record that my placement is 100% cancelled again. Therefore, I decided to drop the placement site and my concurrent university course for quarter the next morning and take a leave of absence from the program. This was an incredibly painful thing for me to experience.
I am 32 years old, I got kicked out of an MOT occupational therapy program a few years for sexual harassment, this MAT teaching program didn't work out for me, people all my life ever since I was a little kid constantly got frustrated with being unable to sufficiently pay attention well or listen well enough, and I've already been rejected by several jobs that I just recently applied for. Even at the hospitals I volunteered, they thought that I've was becoming a liability to the patients I was assigned to help. The Occupational therapists I shadowed back when I was applying for OT school told me that they didn't recommend that I become an OT because I don't have the capability to become a good one. ADD (predominantly inattentive disorder), APD (auditory processing disorder), GAD (generalized anxiety disorder), Depression, and Asperger's for my entire life. I've been to all kinds of highly qualified therapists and psychiatrists all of my life. I tried reading up on all kinds of self-help for my disabilities. For countless years, I've tried very hard to apply all of the best advice I've ever gotten for my disabilities. Yet, I am a 32 year old unemployed worthless freak who probably isn't cut out for living in this world. I no longer believe that I have anything useful to offer to this world. No one wants to hire me and even if I did get a job no one will want to keep me.
The only paying jobs I've ever had were when I worked for my father as an Assistant Draftsman and Construction for several years and when I worked as a Seasonal Sales Associate at Halloween retail store for only about a month long.
Everyday since I took the leave of absence, I've been feeling this impending doom over my financial life.
in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
Posted
It's about both personalities and policies. However, generally, it's both the debate skills and the personality (presentation style and charisma) of each the candidates that primarily influence the voters' perception of how compelling each of the candidates were in the debates. However, I generally don't think that the general presidential debates greatly affect either nominee's chance of winning the election.