Hardkill

I've tried social meetups and they never worked. I already have positive things going in my life. I am going for my 3rd degree black belt in Hapkido, I worked up to squatting 360 lbs. below parallel, deadlifting 480 lbs., benching almost 275 lbs. I can run a mile in 6:30 min. and can run 6-8 miles at a 7:30 min./mile. I just starting training for half marathon and marathons 2 months ago. I am going to grad school for teaching. Also, I don't mean to sound arrogant, but many people throughout my life have told me that I look like a model. None of it helped me enough to be successful with women. Also, I have no talent for creating large social circles. So after trying almost everything possible, what proof is there that I have any REAL genetic latent ability for success with women?

I know, but I am struggle to manage these demons. How can I when the evidence has proven that I am a failure at pickup? my approaches have been varied since I've tried so many things. Sometimes I wait for the girl look at me and smile before I walk up to her. Other times I cold approach her without her noticing me first. It's so hard to explain everything and I don't have enough time to explain each kind of approach I do with each girl.

Well, I've done about 1,000 of approaches and I rarely see it as being anything, but funny. It's like I have a voice in the back of my head that says, "Look man, u've already failed over a thousand times with women. This isn't for you. I know that pickup isn't rocket science, but not everyone has talent for this just like not everyone has a talent for singing or being athletic at a certain sport. It's sad, but hopefully u'll learn to live with it someday." I've gotten kicked out of a university that I was in grad school for, permanently kicked out of a gym that I was a member of, kicked out of a mall, kicked out of a bar, kicked out of a club. I am hurting inside. Society is as fucked up as I am.

Yeah, but how does getting rejected most of the time completely beneficial for your confidence?

I know this has nothing to do with healing and I know that I am probably making a very ridiculous reference to an anime show, but I was just wondering if anything mentioned in Naruto with regard to Chakra happens to be true.

There must be another way. I don't want to live in a salvation army organization for the homeless. Also, I don't really like camping and don't think that that's smart thing to do when it comes to possibly being surrounded by all sorts of wild animals and nasty bugs.

Yes, of course! I mean where am I gonna go? I don't really have much money of my own.

So how do you explain homeless people out on the street who need to be hospitalized?

How is not finding a job a limiting belief? I wish I had more stress tolerance and energy to continue improving my life

I want to be an entrepreneur because I believe I have something to offer to this world. My belief is that if you can't change the world significantly then your life as a human is worthless. Also, the fitness and sports industries are so f***ed up that it needs someone like me to step in and help uncover the truths behind all of the lies spread to the vast majority of people all around the world. I am not saying that I am the only who can do this as there are already a number of other honest people who are competent fitness and athletic trainers who have started dispelling these lies and have continued to promote honest training and diet methods. However, I believe that I too should take part in this mission. Yet, I don't know where to began because the fitness and sports industries are so competitive and have become increasingly impossible to succeed in. So, I am very ambivalent over whether or not it would be wise for me to pursue this path.

Hey guys, so I've been contemplating lately on becoming an entrepreneur for some time lately. We've all heard many stories of successful entrepreneurs and how they were able to achieve their success through perseverance, hard work, and smarts. However, I also am aware that trying to start your own business will inevitably you to many failures before you possibly reach the desire level of success. My parents don't think that I should even consider trying to start my own business because they know that it's too cutthroat and can lead to an unnecessary waste of time, money, and frustration. I am 29 years old and work for my father who's an architect/construction worker and my financial life is completely supported by them. So, I don't even have any capital to start off with. I want to run some sort of martial arts/fitness business of my own, but so many fitness, weightlifting, and sports businesses have already been established for several years all around the world to the point that the fitness/weightlifting/sports industries have become extremely competitive. I've always been very dedicated and disciplined to training and researching an abundance of information on martial arts, fitness, weight training, aerobic/anaerobic conditioning, flexibility, etc. ever since I was a teenager. I really wish I knew what the wisest decision would be for me to take.

Well I wish I knew how to gain my independence from my parents. I would almost give anything for that.

Damn. Well I don't feel at ease knowing that Erlend's advice here conflicts with everyone else's. Even if I gained complete independence from my parents, I am still not sure if entrepreneur ship could really become a suicide path for me.

Thank you for responses, guys. I don't know where to begin or exactly would be the best plan of action for me take. Also, I've been expelled from a university (for reasons that I don't want to discuss with anyone on this forum) and have had my gym membership revoked from one gym before for alleged sexual harassment. I've failed miserably with women even after having made countless approaches and invites to women and having tried virtually every possible method method and avenue for seducing women effectively, which has severely damaged my self-esteem overall. So I don't know if I have the inner strength to handle anymore traumatic failures in my life, even with regard to trying to establish a successful business of my own. "It will grow you enormously, even if you end up utterly failing." What else besides becoming an independent man will I be GUARANTEED to gain from pursuing entrepreneurship? Can I be ASSURED that I will have a much happier life overall or feel more at peace with myself, at least in the long-run, if I pursue this type of career path?

Thanks again for the replies. My medicine is absolutely vital for my daily function. Do not tell me that psych meds are not the answer because that is quite frankly a very ignorant response. Medical doctors and scientists have been trained extensively to methodically prescribe the best possible medication for people's health and well-being.

Hi everyone, I am brand new to this forum and this is my first post ever. I've watched a lot of Leo's vids on Youtube on making friends, sex, attraction, love, mindfulness, meditation, goals, success, etc. I am 29 and a half years old and I've been struggling with improving my sex and dating life for almost 3 years. I've cold and warm approached hundreds of women in real life and tried many different kinds of online dating apps including OKC, POF, Tinder, Bumble, Happn, Match.com, Jdate, etc. I lost my virginity when I was 27 years and 9 months old and have never had a girlfriend in my entire life. Also, I've had sex with a total of 4 girls, but I've only had sex for a total of 7 times in my entire life (only two of the times where I engaged in full genitalia intercourse). I've read up and tried various methods of pickup from the PUA community including RSD, Kezia Noble, Hayley Quinn, Gambler's methods, 60 years of challenge, GoodLookingLoser, etc. and they all gave me limited results overall. I've tried going to meetup groups, social circles, bar, clubs, parks, fairs, streets, malls, college campuses, social circle, etc. Girls in middle school, high school, and somewhat in college used to tell me how attractive or cute I looked, but after college was when I realized how extremely difficult if not impossible it is for me to get a girl I want. The furthest I've ever gotten with a girl was through a 6th date over a 4-5 month period (I though I was close to making a friends with benefits relationship with her, but she stopped wanted to see again after our 6th date. I've done more work than most guys have, but still suck with women. Therefore, I fear that I may never find a girl I want who will be willing to be in a solid friends with benefits relationship with me or be my girlfriend.

Thanks again for your responses guys. Recently, I've increased my antidepressant dosage and feel noticeably better lately. I feel more indifferent and have less of a sex drive now. Also, I've been doing meditation more frequently again and started practicing tai chi. Also, I've been doing more running and am I training to do a half marathon sometime in the future. Also, I've started to think that perhaps I am destined to be single and unappealing to the girls I want for the rest of my life. I know I've sounded extremely pessimistic, obstinate, and a real pain in the ass to deal with. I am very sorry to everyone here who's time I may have wasted on here to trying to help me. After much deliberation, I've come to the conclusion that since I have failed to find true happiness all of my life and given my history of having had far more failures than successes in my whole life with improving my charisma, seduction skills, and finding romantic love, it seems probable that no amount of practice in the field, no amount of analyzing the mistakes I've made and will continue to make out there, and no sort of way will ever make me into a sexy, charismatic person who is capable of attracting any kind of woman I want. Nonetheless, I've realized that even if I continue to fail despite my very best efforts until the day I die, I can still record all of my mistakes I've made and will continue to make in the future for posterity. They say that if u fail to achieve your dreams before you die then you can always pass it on to the next generation and hopefully have those people fulfill your goals for you. So, there are countless variables in a countless number of combinations and permutations to account for in any given interaction with a woman even during just a small amount of time you spend with her. Yet, by the time I've reached 80 to 90 years of age I will have already made at least a few million mistakes in countless combinations and permutations with women. So when I am on my deathbed a certain number of young men in the future will be willing to carry out my goal, and they will be able to analyze and afterwards instantly correct all of the mistakes I made in my entire life. In fact, some will inevitably learn far quicker and better than I ever could. Therefore, I believe that it would be wise for me to focus my efforts more on creating an invaluable legacy for the future generations of men who will have the potential to live truly happy sex, dating, and romance lives. Sounds good?

Yeah I am with Electrobeam on how frustrating it is when someone talks about having a "giver's" mindset to attract people. In fact many successful businessmen and politicians like Trump have always been the epitome of greed. Our new US president is a malignant narcissist who's grandiosity, envy, arrogance, manipulative abilities, sense of entitlement, sense of uniqueness, preoccupation of all types of material success, and lack of real empathy all have no limits. Yet, he underhandedly won enough votes to be elected as the new POTUS. How about Jordan Belfort who founded his "over the counter" brokerage house, Stratton Oakmont? He was ultimately incarcerated for almost 2 years for having defrauded countless victims who got completely duped by his BS "pump and dump" money schemes. He stoles millions and millions of dollars from so many innocent customers. He also had a hot wife because of his charisma and yet it was still not enough as he cheated on her with hookers. Even after he got released from prison, he became suspect of having concocted another phony money making organization in Australia. So can Flare or someone like him tell me how extremely egotistical men like the abovementioned sleazballs have attracted by having a "giver's" mindset?

Maybe you're right. My prospects of ever becoming a happy person are very slim. Even Leo has mentioned that he has never been optimistic about depressed people ever having a content life. It's as if I have a terminal illness that's practically incurable and can only be treated so much. I am a 2nd black belt in Hapkido.

I thank u guys again for your responses, but after some deliberation I don't think that finding out my life purpose or is really gonna need help improve my inner game significantly. It's too general and doesn't specifically address whether or not I am truly capable of learning to become socially adept according to my genetics. Also, Lord Bwyra, with all due respect u sound like you need some serious psychological help yourself. I am not one to cast blame on you since I need serious help with my mental state. However, you really have such a flippant attitude that's really crazy. You first tell me that I am really screwed up and then you suddenly say that I am awesome with everything in my life. If other people came to you in real life for help they would probably think that something is wrong with u.

Thanks for your "wisdom." However, if u had paid attention to what I said before, I already tried a form of meditation called mindfulness for well over a year with a certified therapist and I ultimately develop a level of enlightenment that most people haven't ever reached in their lives and yet I didnt become the "ladies man" or sexy edgy guy that seduces an ample amount of women. Instead, I merely became a seemingly content, nice guy who is relatively boring (except when I do my impressions of others for comedic effect). Leo's course does seems enticing and I will definitely consider buying it. Actually, there's is perhaps one universal goal I want to achieve before I die. My ambition is to create a world that has a perpetual peace in every single village, town, city, state, province, nation, continent, island, etc. I also want to modify the world we live in into one that is without any contradictions and misconceptions about any genre of information out there out produced by the media, Internet, libraries, etc. So, I aspire to unify all information that is useful and beneficial into "one" and eliminate the detrimental useless info. out there. I want to take part in creating a world whereby justice is always delivered to those who truly deserve to be punished. I also want to establish an education system that effectively teaches children and teens how to make solid friends with others and how to attract those of the opposite sex (or same sex if u go that way) so that people in the future won't ever have to suffer cruel and unnecessary heartaches ever again.

I don't know how to always lead a girl from one area to another when talking to her at the beginning of a conversation. Also, I don't have my own place since I live with my parents. So it's very difficult for me to take a girl to a place to have sex with me. Every time I get close to doing it with a girl, I usually ask to go to their place, but virtually all of them except for one of them say "no we can't because their are other people at my place." Also, lots of time when a conversation with a girl I just appeoached went well and I get her number, the girl ends up not responding back. Its like she put up a good front or act when we talked in person, but then goes back on her word. That's one of the reasons why I have issued trusting women.

I personally don't think that it helps much as people would think it does. An aquaintance, who worked on his inner game for years still struggles with women. He says that he doesn't really care anymore about being rejected or being alone completely. I said to him that I dorm understand why your non-neediness is not attracting a lot of women. His response was "non-neediness does not make you attractive. It just doesn't make you unattractive." So doing stuff to work on inner game through Improving your cognitive perspective, practicing meditation will only eliminate your negative unattractive traits of your character. However, it will not necessary make u charismatic, socially calibrated, funny, sexy, or edgy unless u already had those attractive traits to begin with. So even if you neutralized those negative or unattractive qualities of your personality you still could come off as just an average boring nice guy or someone who is truly a very kind, generous, respectful, and grateful individual, but still fails to understand how to fit in with people socially because he's like a nerd who can't comprehend how to or someone who has a very severe case of Asperger's syndrome. It's sad, but I believe that that's the reality of the world we live in.

So that's it? No one here really knows how to help me?

But See_on_See, that's what I've been trying to figure out. I've been analyzing every aspect of myself for years to the point of where I stressed myself out and yet I can't figure it what I am doing to turn off girls. It's like I can't solve some sort of quantum physics problem. I've thought about seeing a pickup coach or going to a pickup seminar, but they are all ridiculously expensive and too inconvenient for me to travel to. Tightrope walker, even when I approach women during a day when I am in a great mood, it still never worked. Again, I practiced mindfulness with a legit psychologist, Psy. D. for well over year to point of feeling at peace and "one with the universe," and ironically it didn't increase my ability to attract women. All it did was make me more like able and at ease around people in general socially. That's why Gunwitch says that u don't need to be a monk to pickup. In fact he mentions how working on your inner game up to a certain point becomes counterproductive to seducing women. I really think that Leo is the only person who can possibly give me the best insight and solution on here.