Hardkill

Huh?

Almost everyday I’ve been fapping and I watch porn almost everyday for at least a half hour to an hour each day. Sometimes 2 hours a day.

Lol. Are u serious?

So, it sounds like I have no choice, but to continue suppressing my sexual desires and/or masturbate until I figure out a way to get rid of my mom.

You guys are right. I really have to figure something out to stop my mom. I just don't know what to do about it.

So why does Leo say that u can’t just meditate your fundamental urges away?

That’s not the issue right now. As I said in my first post on here, my mom doesn’t trust me with trying to approach random women and having sex with them. Every time, I go out of my home, my mom always calls me every single half hour to an hour. If I stay out past the allotted time she gave me, then she will constantly call me until I get back home. I know, this is very lame and unseemly for a man of my age, but she constantly watches over as a hyper neurotic helicopter my mom.

I can't move into my own place. I have no money of my own. Even though, she still would call me about every hour of the day to check up on me. If I had a million dollars then I would move out and buy myself a nice home or apartment for myself. Then I would pay for the life purpose course to figure what I want to do that it very feasible for me. I would also pay for expensive 1 one 1 coaching sessions that will help me get a lot better with my social, dating, and sex life. I also would buy some lube, condoms, and fleshlights to practice getting good at sex and experimenting more of my sexuality. I also would buy a lot of good quality food to help me bulk up my bodyweight at a healthy rate. I'd give some of the money to charity. I'd buy very fashionable clothing and pay for a really stylish haircut. Plus, I'd pay for special personal training to take my overall fitness to the next level. Additionally, I would by martial arts posts and equipment that would really help me with my training as a martial artist. I may even pay someone to personally assist me in my sparring skills. I would also by an adorable dog and cat from a shelter. Man, there's so much I think I could do with a million dollars.

Yes, I still live with her. I work for my dad part time at home. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to pay for Leo's LP course. I am still stuck trying to figure out what my purpose is in life. I have ideas, but they are so far just pipe-dreams.

@Vipassana I am 30

Wait, but wouldn't that just make me even more frustrated if I neurotically suppressed my urges perpetually? I am a sexual creature just like everybody else. I kinda wish Leo made a video on No Fap. He seems like he would have a very sensible and yet practical approach to understanding and dealing with masturbation.

Well, no I wouldn't say that. Fortunately, I've always had a loving family and a dog I love very much. Though, I have depression and a lot of people have let me down in life. I've never really felt like I could truly fit in with anyone in my life. I am 30 years old and having never had a serious girlfriend. Also, I am getting sick and tired of having a helicopter mom. I can't do much when she is constantly in my way and calling me or checking up on me almost every god damn hour.

I am mostly serious. Love can be an extremely powerful motivator, but not everyone is lucky enough to have true love, much less romantic love. Also, most people cannot handle falling in love with someone. Becoming too attached to someone can be used against you. However, pride, rage, power are all much more within your control. Don’t get this wrong though, humility, a moderate amount of respect for certain people, a fair amount of fear for particular things in this world, willpower, and intellect are just as equally important with regard to succeeding at anything in the world (including getting along with others). However, ego, instilling anger, lust, dreams, and ambition for dominance are the most reliable motivational factors. Love will not always be there for you. Yet, pride, rage, lust, dreams, are always traits that are within your control. You may abandoned them for a while, but they will always be there for you.

Who needs romantic love when hatred, power, and pride are your greatest allies for your life? When you get to the core of it, you can't trust other people. In the end, they all let you down, including your loved ones. However, you can ALWAYS trust your own pride and rage to fuel your motivation to gain the power you need to dominate in this world.

All of this is largely true. However, a lot of girls who do smile at me, have an open posture, and have sexy clothing tend to put on a front for attention> Otherwise, they are looking for someone who is cool (above average social skills). A guy can have all of the confidence in the world, but without sufficient social skills, then he very likely will not be able to completely attract any of the TYPES of girls he wants and will have very limited options as to whom will be down with him. It's a sorry sight, but it's reality. Only the strong alpha males with either high status within a certain area of their life or high levels of social adeptness will have their pick of the girls they want, even if they look like an ugly little shit or are dirt-poor. I am still a nobody in this world and that's why it's so f*cking hard to get anywhere with people wherever I am at.

I know I keep bringing this problem up regarding my social and seduction skills with women, but I still keep thinking about this problem and I am still not confident and hopeful enough about my ability to improve significantly with women and even people in general. Sure, I might be able to get a few lays here and there if I consistently cold approached about 30-40 girls a week. Yeah, I probably would be able to find a woman would be mediocre to me if I just decided to "settle." Hell, to be honest, there have been a few times in my life where I was given the opportunity to be in a relationship with a girl who I was not physically attracted to. However, not only do I not want to settle for someone who would be so-so to me, but I am aware of how big of a mistake that would be if I did that. Also, I am not sure that I ever be able to be gain enough skill to the point where I will be able to keep a woman I am truly attracted to for long. I know that many dating coaches have mentioned that they have helped a number of clients who have Asperger's or Autism succeed with women, albeit took them longer to achieve than the average person. However, I don't always trust these coaches because there's always a good chance that they could be lying to people like me just as a used car salesman would say just about anything to a naive customer to make a sale. In fact, I've become increasingly skeptical about what most PUA coaches and dating experts say because I've feel like I've tried all kinds of advice out there with all sorts of girls in all types of venues and hardly any of it has worked, in my opinion. Plus, I am concerned about my ability to read body language, facial expressions, and tonality properly. I am concerned that I may make a girl feel uncomfortable to the point where she trying to signal to me to leave, but I am not taking that hint and so I end up inadvertently harassing her. I used to believe that I finally got it down to the average person's level. However, there have been a few times where I've gotten kicked out of bars, malls, and gyms because I somehow made some of the girls in each of those places feel too uncomfortable around me and never got the hint from any of them beforehand that I was doing so. For example, the manager of my previous gym that I got kicked out of told me what happened when they a couple of complaints about my approaches towards certain women and said that I made them somehow uncomfortable. I got kicked out of a bar one time because I was called out for making a bartender uncomfortable by staring at her. I got kicked out of a mall before because the security said that they received a few complaints from women who claimed that I harassed even when I being very respectful to each of the women there and never followed them when they walked away from me. I was never even told by any of the women themselves at the mall beforehand to leave them alone or "fuck off". So, if anyone could please give a brutally honest opinion about my prospects in improvement my sex, dating, and social life I would appreciate it. I am trying to be realistic and don't want to needlessly raise my hopes up.

I used to be a complete misfit back in elementary school and have always been highly competitive in virtually every area of my life. I still don't feel good enough. I also was terminated from my grad school program last year for sexual harassment and wasn't given any warning beforehand over what I did. I don't want to really talk about that in particular. I am still having trouble simply observing the thoughts. I have an understanding of them, but it's so hard to just accept as thoughts, especially when we live in a society that constantly demands results and lots of worry about so many things pertaining to our own lives. As for meditating, to be honest, I've stopped meditating since about a month ago. It was so hard to lay still and everyday not think about anything or let my urges to watch something on TV or on the computer or porn get the best of me. Can I message with you over PM?

So, it's been a long time since I've written stuff down here on my own personal journal. This week I was able to experience a moment of pride and satisfaction of accomplishment for just two day. However, the day after it happens I lose that feeling and go back to my regular self. I was proud of being able to run 10 miles non-stop outside including running for 3 laps around a football field with 2 hills for each lap. I completed the 10 miles in 1 hour 19 min. and 29 sec. at a pace of about 7 min. 56 sec. per mile. That feeling last happened a few days ago. I wish I had that feeling back again. Fuck.

Hey guys, so I've been trying to fight off this victim mindset, I've been having and I think I've made some progress to a degree, but I still feel the agony of self-pity and anger. It sucks and I still can't help, but focus more on the results than the process. I don't understand how some humans can just keep going. Not to mention that this transitioning over from a victim's mindset to that of a fighter's mentality takes a lot of mental energy. I wish I had unlimited mental endurance like a Marine Corps soldier. I also still have trouble differentiating between realistic and pessimistic thoughts in my head.

Oh cool. Well, then he very likely has high functioning Asperger's like I do. Thank you very much for looking for this. These videos actualy made me feel more optimistic about my potential. I really appreciate it.

I absolutely agree. I went to school for a Master's in OT and my mom is a very highly experienced Doctor in OT, who worked in the mental health area for decades. Plus, she has always been very street smart. She has always said to me that someone with PTSD MUST receive INTENSE THERAPY ASAP and for a LONG CONSISTENT TIME. I too have studied a lot of psychology in my spare time and know the gist of PTSD. Even though PTSD does not always correlate with anger management issues, the undeniable fact is that someone with PTSD has been extremely traumatized emotionally. This means that he is having extreme difficulty processing the horrors they just experienced. Right now, it's too much for him to remember or think about the thoughts and emotions associated with the traumatic event he went through with the right consultation and guidance from a psychiatrist and psychologist. Consequently, he cannot accept reality for what it is at all and is unable to emotionally connect with others at a functional level. It is extremely unlikely that you, his family, or any of his other loved ones can help him get through this kind of suffering without the aid of a competent psychologist and psychiatrist. Veteran soldiers who came back from battle or war usually come back shellshocked and become very distrustful of other people, even those very close to them. Some may be able to put on a facade of still appearing to be a strong, confident, and charming individual even though they just went through the worst kind of hell. However, they can suppress the massive amount of negative emotions pent up in them for only so long, until some random or unplanned situation that would be considered very normal to most people end ups triggering the memories of the hellish ordeal they were forced to partake in and witness. Whatever word or image is said that is related to war, battle, maiming, killing, etc. will very likely caused the traumatized victim to instantaneously have flashbacks of that or those same dark moments and re-live them as if they 100% real and happening right now. You also said that he had PTSD before from his abusive mother he may have PTSD complex, which according to its terminology is a psychological disorder thought to occur as a result of repetitive, prolonged trauma involving sustained abuse or abandonment by a caregiver or other interpersonal relationships with an uneven power dynamic. Also, to be quite frank, someone like him could be very dangerous around others and yourself. He could be great liability around others until he resolves this properly with qualified mental health professionals. I really hope he hasn't physically abused you and/or one day becomes extremely violent to the point of doing something horrific to you or others he is close to. As a veteran soldier, I assume that he owns a gun of his own. I really hope that he doesn't because that would be very scary for you, him, his friends, and other family members of his that are close to him given his mental state and the lack of mental health treatment that he undoubtedly needs. He can take all of the street drugs and alcohol he wants and smoke as much weed as he desires, but those substances will never allow him to truly face the feelings and thoughts of those traumatic memories. In fact, those substances will make it much worse for him overtime because he will never learn to fully cope with his real emotions and thoughts, let alone the fact that heavily abusing drugs, alcohol, weed, cigarettes, etc. will cause great physical damage to himself in the long run. This is not to say that all drugs are bad. In fact some are good if not essential to certain people. As long as they have been properly prescribed by the right medical doctor for you. Xanax is commonly prescribed to patients who have PTSD and/or Panic disorders. Have him ask his doctor about that (ideally a Psychiatrist as they of course specialize in prescribing patients with all sorts of psychiatric/psychology issues). There's no shame in seeing a qualified psychology and psychiatrist. Lots of people who are relatively normal see them all the time for various personal reasons. Hell, I've seen my private Psychiatrist who happens to hold both an MD and PHD in Psychiatry/Psychology for well over decade for my own issues. I've even seen many different kinds of therapists too when I haven't been able to afford to see my Psychiatrist during a certain period of time (mine is kinda expensive). I've been to a number of group therapy sessions including ones that dealt with managing my social anxiety (that group definitely helped a lot, thanks to their CBT methods). I understand that he's on the waitlist for EMDR. That is very unfortunate as EMDR is indeed a very effective method for treating patients with PTSD. However, I strongly urge that he join a peer support group for veteran soldiers with PTSD. This will allow him to primarily discuss his PTSD issues and in relation to his time as a soldier and really help him relate to others who have gone through very similar situations that he has gone through. In addition, he absolutely MUST find a Psychiatrist and Psychologist to see regularly ASAP to help deal with this at a personal level.

Holy shit! You were right. It's seriously true. I just watched the video. Well, I guess Tyler Durden (Owen Cook) is the first successful pickup artist I've ever known to really have high functioning Asperger's like I do. Thank you very much!

Couldn't agree more.

By 4'12" I assume you mean 5 in., right? If yes, that's still average, which is perfectly fine. What's your girth? In any case, the penis size really doesn't matter like everyone else is saying here. In fact, the "does size matter?" question is really getting annoying and stupid. It's like a woman asking "Do the size of breasts look big enough?", "Are my tits too big?", "Does the shape and size of my ass matter?", etc., etc. Practically every man throughout the whole world, whether he looks unattractive or plain or handsome has inevitably found someone who accepted them exactly as the way they look just as virtually every woman throughout the whole world whether she looks unattractive or homely or hot has ultimately found someone who has accepted them for how they look. All of this holds true if you want to just settle for someone whom you deem to be merely "so-so." However, as a man, if you want to get and keep a woman whom you yourself perceive to be hot and has an amazing personality, the size and shape of your dick still would be the LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES. Remember, the vast majority of women aren't as visual as men, which is why looking handsome or sexy as a man matters the least to women (even if you are exceptionally good looking). High quality women, who are both physically attractive and have great character, are most attracted to men who have both SOLID CONFIDENCE and VERY GOOD SOCIAL/SEDUCTION SKILLS. If you are able to achieve those two major qualities through hard work and dedication, then only a small handful of women out there who are size queens with only half a brain cell will ever give a fuck about how big and aesthetic your willie is. So when you have sex with almost any woman you want, she still won't care at all how good your dick looks as long as you know how to use it well. The only possible exception to all of this (which actually may or not be even true) is if you truly have a Micropenis, which is a penis that is about (2.75 in) in erect length or shorter. Oh by the way, work on your clothing style and make sure your diet is in check and that you workout at least 2-3 times a week. Although most women aren't sexually turn on by looks nearly as much as men are, virtually all women, especially those who are high quality, do want a man who at least looks well put together and gives off the impression that he takes good care of himself and is socially cool. Your ex broke up with you either because you lost her emotional connection with you and respect for you or there was something wrong with her or you didn't make enough time to have a sufficient amount of sex with her (like you said in your post) or it was simply because you two were never truly meant to be together forever.

I've been getting a lot of contradicting advice on whether or not it is a good idea to approach a girl who already rejected you before. Some have advise not to do it because you have to respect the fact that a no is a no, otherwise you will end up annoying her or even harassing her. In fact, part of the reason I got kicked out of my previous gym what that I made a couple of girls I approached feel uncomfortable after approaching each of them twice even though I was always completely respectful to them. Others, have stated that a girl's emotions change from time to time (even more so than a guy's emotions), and so even if she rejected you during one point in time, it doesn't mean that she won't ever change her mind about it. Maybe she just was in a bad mood the day you first approached her, but then next time you see her she may be in a more pleasant and welcoming mood. Also, they say that girls commend a guy who is persistent. Hell we've all heard of stories where a girl said no several times to a guy who asked her out, but eventually after asking her out over and over again she finally said yes. Also, what if you happen to just run into the same girl who already rejected a few weeks ago or a month ago or a few to several months ago or what have you? How likely can you change her mind the next time you happen to bump into her again and make a better approach compared to last time? Sighs. It's all so confusing.