Hardkill

Perhaps I am being a too perfectionistic. Yes, it’s true that a great amount of success arises failures. No doubt about that. However, I don’t want to end up being highly successful at the cost of jeopardizing my health and happiness. What if someone who has been an old lifetime smoker said that they believe that despite knowing that smoking cigarettes have been very bad for their health, it still has helped them a lot in dealing with the stress of their life and they are still alive at 80 something years old? You think that’s okay?

None of these responses are answering my question.

Wait, so then what has Leo been talking about? Why has Leo been saying that working more than about 40 hours per week is unhealthy and counterproductive like he said on this thread here?

So, Leo and moderators, if the men out here who have been struggling with women really have been struggling mostly because they have not been putting in enough work then what do you say about this guy who says that he couldn’t even get ONE girl after approaching thousands of women himself in a sexual manner?

Hey guys, I was just wondering recently if all celebrities especially show biz stars are really alpha males and females. Do you guys think that these people actually exude such an alpha presence to the public or not necessarily?

Hey guys, it’s been a while now and I have another burning question I’d like to ask. So, as you can see it has to do with whether or not virtually all celebrities truly have the ability to be socially charismatic around even if they weren’t famous to begin with or not great performers on stage or on camera. I ask because if having good charisma is about having great people skills and people often attribute celebrities to being the most charismatic people in world then I wonder if that means that almost all celebrities have the greatest people skills in the world. What do u guys think?

Damn. This is really a challenge for me to ask the "right" questions or create an "excellent" topic. How do functional humans do this?

where do I do ctrl+F search?

Oh, what it is called?

Yep. I think we all need various kinds of good role models to look up to for various subjects.

Good question. I ask because if they do have great social skills then maybe we could all learn how to be highly charismatic like them by watching and listening to they way almost any celebrity behaves and sounds around other people.

Legit dating coaches are: James Tusk, Locario, RSD, Gunwitch, Gambler, and Chris from GLL are all good coaches/experts with women. Mystery is not so great and neither are coaches like Adam Lyons. Also, start off focusing developing your masculinity and confidence before you worry about improving your charisma. Developing the strength of the mindset really is the first most important to do before learning how to be socially skilled with women. Otherwise, you will have a very difficult if not impossible time in dealing with rejecting and managing your own self-esteem. Also, you can still get some of the kind of women you want by simply being masculine with out having GREAT skills (as long as your social skills are at least at an average level).

Guys, another thing that's been nagging me lately has been this idea of whether or not men really are better leaders than women. I know that dating and PUA experts and many mental health experts have mentioned a number of times that being masculine means being a leader among men and women, while being feminine means being a follower or being submissive. Also, we know that most of the well-known leaders throughout all of history have been men largely because women have never been given a 100% equal opportunity for leadership. They also say that men are better at leading than women are, even with regard to being on one's purpose, professionally and financially. However, it is actually true that many of the greatest leaders throughout history have been women including Queen Elizabeth, Queen Victoria, Cleopatra, Hatshepsut, Joan of Arc, Mary Wollstonecraft, Indira Ghandi, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Oprah Winfrey, Anna Wintour, Hillary Clinton, etc. Additionally, most of the worst leaders of all time have been men. So, do men really have a greater talent than women for leading people?

Oh yeah, one more thing. Since, I still have relatively poor time management, procrastination issues, and tend to slack off a lot of times on my job work and school work, I know that I need to work harder and longer on my school work, part-time work tasks I do for my parents, while keeping up with all of my hobbies. However, I am afraid of working so hard at the cost of my mental health and perhaps my physical health in the long run. Some studies have already stated that working more than a total about 40 hours a week will eventually cause long-term damage your mental and perhaps physical health. However, I know that if I want to become a very successful worker, good student, continue to work hard on improving my skills in all of my hobbies including martial arts, heavy weight training, cross country running, reading books on various kinds of intellectual material to improve my reading comprehension and vocabulary, etc., then I am gonna have to work much more than 40 hours per week for all of those things. So, I don't know what to do.

Today, I just rewatched one of Leo's actualized.org vids on his Youtube Channel entitled "Successful People Are Not Happy," where he talked about how most people throughout the whole world wish or desire to have the life of a celebrity or some highly successful person out there who seems to "have it all" and is living the "happiest life in the world." So, it goes without saying that yes most famous and successful people are not really happy because they indeed just perpetually chase more and more success and material possessions throughout their entire lives without ever learning how to be truly content with both what they have achieved in their whole lives and what/who they are. Some of these people whom we looked up to as some of the greatest people in the world really have or had miserable lives. Some celebrities and other kinds of successful people really even went so far as to having taken their own lives because they never could or never knew how or never genuinely wanted to make themselves truly happy. Now, I know that Leo did say in the same vid though that he is not saying that we should be lazy losers with everything we do life and that we all still need to learn and internalize the essential principles of success. However, I've thoroughly watched this whole video at least a couple of times now and the one thing about that video that's been bothering for a while and I still can't figure out to this day is that is Leo trying to say no one should ever try to make it big in life regardless of what their ultimate goals are in their lives? Is it really a terrible mistake to go for the glory? Is it actually a bad idea to become rich even if you worked incredibly hard for it?

Alright, I am back now after having been busy dealing with other stuff in life as well as being exhausted. Well, I of course believe that being a good husband, a good father, a good professional and a good friend are all good traits to have as a man. Some of them are perhaps even essential for all men to have. However, I am confused as to how having all of those good qualities as a man would mean that he is doing better than 99.9999999% of men on this planet at the moment. I mean don't most grown men throughout the world especially those within westernized societies have all those characteristics? Yes, immortal values such as justice, patience, courage, willpower, hard work, compassion, tenderness, temperance and purity of heart are undoubtedly good and virtuous not just for all people to have. I don't want to be an average joe who only has or had a mediocre life until the end of his days. I always ask a lot of questions everyday including relevant ones. That's one of the main reasons I know and understand a lot of things that most people don't know. However, one of the things that's always been the hardest for me is knowing what questions are good and useful versus bad and useless ones.

Hey guys, I've been trying to improve my self-image lately and I've watched some videos on how to do it. People like Leo have mentioned that you always got to visualize success and believe you are good at something in order to succeed at anything even if you don't exactly know how to accomplish your goal or are incapable of doing it. Dating coaches have also said that even if you haven't had any success in dating to believe that you deserve a good partner in your life and that you are good with women or men (depending on your gender and sexual orientation) in order to succeed at dating and have a happy sex and romance life. So, does this mean that it is actually better to be overconfident, cocky, or highly deluded then to not believe that you can succeed at something?

No, I haven't seen one of those. Man, I feel lost and still don't know who I am and why I am here in this society as a man.

I agree with what you guys are saying, but I am wondering if there are certain goals or dreams that cannot be achieved no matter what you do and that you have to accept them as delusional fantasies that are impossible for you to achieve. For example, what if I wanted to become a vigilante who can save innocent lives when the system fails them?

Believe me, I've been trying my best to ask what I truly believe are the best questions to ask. It's very frustrating. I don't know what else to do about it.

Well, I thought that looking back in all of history throughout the world would demonstrate which ones have been the most effective leaders throughout all of time. Also, why do we still associate the word masculinity with a certain set of traits and associate the term femininity with another certain set of traits?

Alright, all of these responses make sense to me. Thanks guys.

Wings can definitely be helpful if they are really committed to helping you and know what good advice to give you on how to pickup women, and if you are seriously willing to commit to consistently practice with them on a weekly basis if not go out with them every 1 to 3 days/nights with them. Otherwise, they won't be of much help to you. I did go out with some wings a number of times before, but I didn't get the chance to go out with them consistently due to other things going on in my life that got in the way along with the fact that most of them weren't really experts who can guide you effectively like a qualified coach can. So, some wings may not help you learn much faster than you would by yourself and other wings can accelerate your learning curve depending on how much work you are willing to put in consistently with them and how good they are at teaching/guiding you with cold/warm approach. Also, it is good to learn how to cold/warm approaching by yourself. Going solo will help build your mental fortitude and confidence in yourself. I got most of my good results with women from all of the times I practiced meeting and talking by myself.

So, there's nothing wrong with having great success as long as you balance it out with fulfilling all of the other important areas of your life including the highest levels of self-actualization. If I am correct, you guys are also saying that success is good when it is truly necessary for your overarching life situation and goals.

I am having a real mental crisis right now. My time management sucks, and event though I just achieved my 3rd degree black belt in Hapkido about two months ago ran a sub 2 hour half marathon over 3 months ago, and have been significantly gaining some of the raw strength I lost from shifting my primary workout focus/goal from gaining strength to gaining more aerobic/anaerobic conditioning for both the half marathon and my black belt test. I also, just finished my last class for this semester for my Masters in teaching program. However, I still waste so much time almost every single day of my life. I usually don’t work or study for more than about 4-5 days on average. I am arguably the worst procrastinator in the world as I constantly wait and do nothing productive from about 15 min. to 2 hours before I do what I am supposed to do or whatever I planned to work on or do. Also, there are so many things that I’ve wanted to become as an adult including: a physiologist, a visual fine artist, a play/film/tv/movie actor, martial arts stage performer, stunt performer, professor, etc. Plus I want to become famous and Rich and own my business. I also want to work on becoming a good public speaking, excellent reader of books and articles of all kinds, improve my charisma and seduction skills dramatically. I still don’t have enough money of my own to buy that Life Purpose course from Leo. As a 31 year old man, I feel like most of not all of my great dreams or wishes are turning into pipe dreams that will be impossible to achieve because don’t have enough youth left to achieve them. Also, I am starting to regret having spend so much of my life on studying and practicing all of my hobbies. None of the achievements I’ve made and the experiences, knowledge, and wisdom I got from doing any of those passions ever really translated to any other aspects of my life. The only possible exception to that would be my social and dating life, which I never gave up on despite all of the painful failures I made in learning and practicing my skills in those areas, not to mention all of the constant whining I made to so many people I made about all of the struggles I went through with socializing with others and dating girls. Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention how behind I am with the time that I was suppose to put in for meditation. I am freaking out a lot right now.