Hardkill

Your concern is valid. A lot of men out there like me used to be very concerned about ever doing pickup again. However, the fact is that it’s been extremely rare for someone to be arrested for just trying to picking up someone out on the street. Just don’t be like Julien Blanc who advertises that stupid joke or meme that advocated for verbally and physically abusing women and don’t be like that downtown LA “predator” Dan Cilley who got registered as a sex offender for getting caught posting video recordings on Youtube, for public viewing access, of the hundreds of girls he filmed on his camera without getting permission from any of them, including a 15 year old whom he asked for her number and possibly a date. He even made his camera recording so obvious to every single one of the girls he filmed that the vast majority of them asked or told him to not film them. Furthermore, even when they said no, he kept going at it with them. Just don’t be like those guys and you should be fine when cold approaching.

I don’t know, man. See, this is the problem I have. I fear that I may be too lazy for that. However, I have to get this in order to start making a decent amount of money and leave my parents’ home for good. Again, I am no longer in my 20s.

Yes, I absolutely plan to be a teacher for a while.

Hmm, maybe going in the "right direction" would make things feel a lot less like grueling work. Sometimes working out or practicing martial arts helps to quiet my mind. However, I have to get this Master's degree in teaching. I already had to withdraw from an OT program from another university and I just recently turned 31 and my really really want to stop supporting me as soon as possible and I want to stop them supporting as much as possible. So what can I do to tolerate the workload I will have to deal with for the rest of the program that I am in.

Guys, this all sounds good, but even if I do find some hobby or something I am passionate about that would give me the best shot to or even perhaps a guarantee to make me good money, I don’t even know if I’ll even be able to have the mental stamina or willpower to follow through with it enough. I mean how can I expect to ever independently run a business or independently make my own through tutoring or what have you, if I am still such a dysfunctional worker? Also, what will I do when I have really bad meltdowns in the future over failing something constantly especially when to come business related work? I am not trying to say that you guys are wrong, but I still don’t know how I am ever going to get myself together as a functional independent adult? Also, I forgot to mention that unfortunately I can’t afford at this point in time to pay for a qualified therapist or coach whom I can see like every week or month to help me out with this situation.

I see your point. As to answering your questions: 1. I think that I wouldn't mind it if she slept with another. 2. Yeah, I would feel down about that. However, I think I've finally began to crack the code with dating and how the game works after all of these years of trial and error in practice and extensive research like crazy. I just have to keep playing the numbers game and constantly work on my charisma and masculinity. 3. Yeah, I am not sure about how I would be able to handle that. It could at least be a learning experience for me. 4. I think that I would be mentally prepared to handle that. This could also It could at least be a learning experience for me. 5. Same answer as I have for the previous question.

Sounds like an interesting idea. However, what are the chances that this will ever become lucrative for me?

Well, I'll try that. However, I don't know how I will be able to handle the times when I get so down and so preoccupied about other things in my life while I am working. I get so easily distracted by all of these thoughts and feelings.

Oh, so anyone who is a forum member can access these vids? Yeah, I tend to overthinking on what to do, in almost every area of my life. I have generalized anxiety disorder. However, I am also sensitive to emotional pain, and tend to have more meltdowns than the average person does when something that means a lot to me doesn't go the way I want or wanted it to go.

I dare all of you Incels, TFLs, and MGTOWs, who don't ever or hardly ever approach women, to approach at least 20-40 girls a week. Don't worry about getting the number. Don't even try to get it. Just go up to them in any public venue including on the streets and talk to them for about 1-2 min. each. However, make sure that you move around enough and away from security guards as much as possible so that you don't jeopardize yourself to possibly getting kicked out of a place just for talking to women. It's stupid when these guys try to 'protect' women from threats or from being harassed by innocent respectful men, but it has happen before to some guys including myself. Just watch out for the rent-a-cop knuckleheads out there. As long as you approach women in a respectful manner then you shouldn't be kicked out from a public place or at least don't deserve to be kicked out. Also, while you are much less likely to get into trouble with girls on the streets, don't try to stalk them after they've walked away from you and or politely excuse themselves twice in a row from you or yell at you to fuck off or what have you. You can still get into trouble with cops on the streets. However, as long as you again approach women in a respectful manner and talk to them politely and respect their wishes to leave the convo if they so desire to, then it's very unlikely if not practically impossible for you get into any real trouble with the law.

Yeah, where are those vids, Azote? Faye, I think I do love her, but I am not sure. I mean I've never been in a real long-term relationship ever before. Though, I do feel so attached to her. She's also great in her personality and we've had little drama so far. My parents have actually gotten to know her and they think that she's really a keeper. I don't know what to do. Btw, is it cool if we talk through DM?

Wait guys, I actually forgot to mention that monogamy is not going to work for MOST people because MOST people inevitably cheat on their partners, especially if they have been with them for several years. This is because people in monogamous relationships after a while get so bored with their partners and the old relationship energy they have had for so long. This is especially true if you have a high sex drive and even more true if you are with a partner whom you never really were that attracted to. Most people who have been with a long-term partner won't admit to this and if you ask A LOT of them how great their relationships has been overall, they will instead say stuff like "we've been happily in love and together for 'X amount of years' and not once have we ever cheated on each other." However, the reality is that most people have and will continue to inevitably cheat on their partners. Some of it is due to personal financial issues, incompatibility, individual character faults, etc. However, the truth is that most people were never designed for monogamy ever. Leo, you even said that one of the main reasons why monogamy has always been dominant virtually all cultures around the world is because humans in general have constantly been heavily indoctrinated by religion, the media, practically everyone's family, friends, etc. to have this deeply ingrained belief that monogamy is the "one and only way" to have a truly meaningful, moral, and practical long-term relationship with someone, especially when it comes to marriage. Yet at the same time we of course were never meant to be any sort of polygamist relationships. This is also why polygamy also never has worked out for any human ever (except for an incredibly small amount of individuals who would basically be considered to be the anomalies of sex and love). Damn it! I can't believe I forgot about this. I still am at a lost on what to do.

Ah I see. So, it's more about how much I honestly want a polyamorous relationship or not.

I am sorry that your ears will never be the same, according to you and your doctor. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have your condition. However, I am glad to hear that at least your ears have gotten a lot better. Do they feel comfortable throughout most of the day each day compare to before when it was constantly excruciating?

I am so sorry about all of this, man. You seem like a fundamentally good person. Has your ear condition gotten any better? Unfortunately, this is too complicated for me to answer well, but I truly feel your pain. I think that has to be some way to be able to do both your desires and be with your daughter. Some experts on here who are more qualified than me, should give you much better responses. Hang in there, man.

Mr. Gura?

In case you guys missed my question again. Bump

Wait, I know what you mean, but I am confused. Didn't you say in one of your vids that we humans are actually naturally designed to be polyamorous and in fact we are some of the biggest sluts in the whole animal kingdom? I remember you saying that monogamy is very hard for us humans to maintain, especially when it comes to committing to a partner for a lifetime. Also, I've been told by many male dating coaches who don't believe in the idea of being a manipulative pick up artist, BUT have said that all young men (from about 18-35 years, maybe even a bit older than that) should not focus their dating and sex life on finding a girl or woman to be in a serious long-term relationship and they instead should use their youth as a golden opportunity to experience dating, hooking up, and having fun with as many girls as their are attracted to as possible for at least a few years (especially if you are a newbie to dating, sex, and understanding women in general). Even though I am 30 turning 31 in a couple of days and already missed out a lot on experimenting with SO MANY girls during my 20s (especially during my early and mid 20s), I am still definitely young enough to do it. IN FACT, contrary to what a lot of guys may believe, men are actually in their SEXUAL PRIME when they are in their 30s, maybe even in their 40s as well. Now, I never condone being dishonest with women EVER, especially when it comes to discussing with them what my intentions are with them. Hell, I've never cheated on anyone and don't ever intend to do so because of my morals, honor, and respect for women. Plus, I have no respect for people who betray good, innocent people in any sort of way. That's why I always honest with women about my intentions, whether I am looking for something serious or not. Also, why have dating coaches said that it is fine to dating and sleep with multiple people so long as you communicate to her in an honest and respectful manner that even though you appreciate them, you still are not looking for anything serious and/or want to see other people? I am not trying to argue with you for the sake of it or say that you are totally wrong. I am just very bewildered right now and would very much appreciate it if you could please provide me with some needed clarification on all of this.

I believe that embracing either your masculinity and femininity is part of what makes you confident overall. We both have a certain amount masculinity and femininity depending upon our gender and how much we embrace the roles of our gender. That being said, ideally men should have predominantly masculine energy and women should have predominantly feminine energy, regardless of your overall personality and whether you are heterosexual or homosexual or bisexual or queer. The only exception to this would be those who ABSOLUTELY 100% TRULY deep down believe and are certain that they were born with the wrong gender and as a result desire to be transexuals. However, there have recently been a lot of transgender people out there who actually have or at least want to de-transition back to their original gender because they end up thinking or realizing that changing their gender was a mistake. I think from what I learned is that generally the reason why some transgenders de-transition back to their original gender is because they realize that changing their gender really was a means to change their identity completely in order to psychologically escape from the pain of having been sexually traumatized before. Anyways, masculinity is not just about being strong, brave, and confident. It's also about being dominant, aggressive, and rational. In contrast, femininity means also being strong, brave, and confident in a way pertaining to being a woman. However, it also means being submissive, complaisant, and emotional (intuitive, being more in touch with your emotions, and being more emotionally aware of others).

Ah, so if you are 100% certain that your physical health is perfectly fine overall, then have you talked to a therapist with a Ph.D or Psy D. before? Btw, if you eventually are able to effectively manage your social anxiety in any social situation, then you may have a higher sex and social drive than you thought.

Oh okay. Well, that might explain why your interest in girls is low, let alone your desire to work on getting better with women. Let me ask you this? How's your overall physical and mental health? Also, do you wish to increase your sex drive? If so, have you seen a legit medical doctor (Ideally an endocrinologist who specializes in diagnosing, treating, and possibly curing any problems related to your hormones) to check to see how high your testosterone levels and the levels of other hormones in you pertaining to your libido are? If yes and if you and your medical doctor(s) have judged with 100% accuracy and confidence that all of your hormones are within the normal range of levels, then have you talked to a psychiatrist or psychologist with either an either a Psy D. or Ph.D in psychology?

Then why did u come on here asking us how to get better with girls? I understand that you feel lost and confused. I was too until I finally began to truly crack the code to life. Also, are you 100% heterosexual? Furthermore, how high is your sex drive?

That's the beauty of working on your social skills/charisma and being more masculine and feminine. Practically everyone can improve there's significantly to the point of being to the level of people who have always had an above average ability to connect with others, captivate them, and project their inner masculinity/femininity (depending upon your gender and perhaps sexual orientation). Now, this doesn't mean that everyone can reach the level of the top 1% of people in the world who were naturally gifted with the potential to become one of if not the GREATEST OF ALL TIME legendary leaders (within the field of politics, business, religion, and what have you), inspirational orators, phenomenal actors, top salespeople, devious con-artists, daters/players/pick-up artists, popular/famous people, heroes, etc. Unfortunately, not everyone will be achieve to achieve that level of Magnetism. However, if the average man wants to have a very happy life including having a great fulfilling sex, dating, romance, and social life and having a very fulfilling career and life/purpose that he has a passion for and makes him wealthy then he does need to have the level of charisma/social adeptness of Julius Caesar, Henry VIII in his prime, Clinton, Obama, JFK, MLK jr., Jesse James, Don Corleone, Jesus Christ, Muhammed the muslim prophet, Daniel Day Lewis, Matt Damon, Heath Ledger, the most well-known dating/player/seduction gurus, Casanova, Marcus Luttrell. He just needs to work as hard as he can to becoming a charismatic, popular, and sexually attractive man who also has a highly successful and very lucrative profession. I totally understand how guys like you feel. Believe me, I used to feel so hopeless over the idea that the women I want will never really like me or be truly attracted to me because I have Asperger's and I am not so fun. However, I changed that situation positively A LOT over the past few years by working extremely hard on my social skills/charisma, masculinity, and self-confidence. I still have ways to go of course, but I know now that if I continue to work hard at all of this and actually be even more consistent with practice I put in to improve overall, I will eventually get even dramatically better overtime than I am now.

lol. says who?

Hey man, you situation sounds very similar to mine. In fact, despite having been always considered to be an extremely good looking guy my whole life I lost my virginity when I was 27 turning 28. Even though many girls would flirt with me middle school, high school, and college, and even a few of them asked me to be their girlfriend, the reason why I still waited so long to lose my V-card is because I had ridiculously high standards for finding the "right one" to lose my virginity too, was too much of a germaphobe when it came to actually making out and having sex, got too addicted to watching porn and jerking off, and lacked both the social skills and confidence to get laid with a girl I really wanted to bang (like one whom I thought was at least approx. a 7 out of 10 in my eyes). Hell, I never got a real solid girlfriend until I was 30 (which actually happened as of this year). Eventually, I got tired of waiting, feeling unbelievably frustrated sexually, and feeling like I couldn't do anything about my social and sexual situation. Therefore, I eventually decided to do something about all of this by working on both my social and seduction skills along with having done a ridiculous amount of research over the years on how to improve these skills that I really needed to work on. My first year consisted of actually putting in as much work (as I could afford to do time-wise) on improving my social confidence, improving my social skills/charisma, learning to become more masculine around women, building the guts to approach random women in virtually any venue, doing A LOT of online dating, getting over my fear of catching germs when kissing, making out, and having sex with girls, making realistic standards (though still always high) for the girls to possibly get physical with, going out with some wings to hit on girls in various places during various times of the day, continuously doing more research on building social and seduction skills, communicating with many dating experts and others who have good game with women, learning from the mistakes I made along the way in my interactions with women, and cutting out a little bit of the porn and masturbation all to find a reasonably cute girl to sleep with. As a result of all of this, I made outs with several hot girls I met in bars, clubs, online dating, etc. and I ultimately was able to lose my virginity to asian girl (who I found out cheated on her bf with me) whom looked cute enough to me to want to have sex with. A couple weeks later, I had sex with another girl. Afterwards, I was able to get more a lot more dates, some more make-outs with more girls, and get laid with about 2-3 more girls per year on average, for 2 years. Finally, I got a girlfriend whom I've been with for over 8 months now. Now, I am not saying that you had to necessary put in this much work on your self to get the results I got with women, my social and sexual confidence, my social/charisma and seduction skills, etc. In fact, if I actually truly had the time before to devote myself to go practically everyday to a really large city and/or college campus population-wise for me to approach at least 10-20 cute/hot girls a day everyday during the past few years, then I am very certain that my results would have sky rocketed to the point of having very little approach anxiety around girls and probably would have ended up sleeping with at least 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, or maybe more than that. Btw, A LOT of dating, sex, romance, approaching random girls, even getting girls you like from your social circle(s) is a numbers game. Check out this link below. These stats holds true for practically every man out there in the world, regardless of how high of a social status he has in the whole world, how good-looking and sexy he is, how rich he is, and/or how socially and sexually charismatic he is, how confident he comes off to women and even people in general, etc.: