egoless

@Sheeba In my honest opinion everything is happening for a reason. I also had the similar situation like you. I did my bachelors in the career which did not resonate with me much. But with all the negatives and struggles it also made me stronger, more resilient, more adaptive and flexible. So college is not only about the studies. It is also about the life experience and how you deal with the difficulties. So my suggestion is: If you already paid the money and leaving the university means to loose huge amount of money than it is not worth to leave it. Complete your studies and on the way decide what you really want to do in your life and how your studies may help you in your goals. If you did not pay money then just leave it and decide what you really want to do. But again it is very tricky. Because at such a young age you are constantly developing and changing so you may still end up in a "wrong place". But ultimately there is no wrong place! It's all about you... How will you use that experience. What kind of meaning you will make out of it! To conclude it is not about what you study mostly. It is more about the life experience you are gaining from it. Every single detail of your life makes you wiser. So don't worry so much and trust yourself!

@tecladocasio you are. but you are experiencing it in the "parts"... If you don't agree I'm fine with it. I see no point in arguing.

@Leo Gura I don't know about you but shrooms on high dose can show enough. It depends on your body as well I guess. Plus you will never ever experience the entirety of absolute infinity in your current form does not matter whether you did 5- Meo or shrooms.

Ego is not devil. Ego is not bad. It is also divine. Your life is exactly how it should be. Infinite god knows better! Stop judging your ego. That is why you guys will never get "Enlightened"! Because you want to escape your humanness... Stop trying to become the infinite god. You are finite version of the god with all of it's flaws and difficulties. The greatest self development is Love! Love universe and universe will love you back! Human is finite version of the god. God is becoming human. Human can't become the infinite god! I am tired. Let me rest...

@Shanmugam I know what you mean. And I agree with you mostly. This “witnessing” meditation happens naturally after that realization that I am god’s knowing of finite human experience. I know that I have to work a lot still on my self development and disidentifying with “separate parts” of human experience. But right now most of the time I experience myself as the pure knowing. I don’t call anything to what happened to me. It is too early to judge now. But you are right. You should never stop on the point thinking that’s it - I have arrived. There is nowhere to “arrive” to.

People it is so wise to stop arguing and follow your experience. If you know something is true for you then why do you feel the urge to argue with others. Our community would be much more productive if we just shared our experiences and those who find it useful could get the new insights for them. What’s the point in arguing over somebody’s Enlightenment.

Both brain and matter exist but they only exist through the limitation of the mind. Everything these ultimately exist in infinite consciousness which has no other “substance” than knowing.

Yes somewhat correct now. But it is also important to understand what I mean by being human. I mean to be knowing of the human experience but not to identify with “separate entities” like only mind, body, feelings and etc. you are god’s knowing of this entire finite experience.

But don't forget that these realities are not experienced only by humans but rather by many different forms. There are infinite possibilities of forms through which god knows these finite realities.

@Joseph Maynor From your point of view yes. But you don’t understand perspectives. That’s your problem here with trying to help me. Without understanding my experience or even experiencing what I did. You don’t know what you are talking about. Contemplate that. Become aware of perspectives. It will help you to become better helper in this world.

@Annetta there was peace and love in infinity. The fear only appears when you are becoming human again. Because human mind can’t survive the infinity. you can not become infinity while still functioning in this world. That’s what they don’t understand. And that means that you are not god. But god is you. Paradoxical but that’s what I saw!

I never said that I figured everything out. The main realization here was that you are not the god. Human can never become the infinite. And that you stop chasing answers in that domain. The only “thing” you have/are is the knowing of god’s finite being in this world. this realization also means that I stop chasing Enlightenment or any “epic” events. I realized that there is nobody to be Enlightened.

You don’t know what I’ve seen. but even so I don’t seek infinity anymore. That is not my “business” it is god who is infinite. I am not the god! P.S. I agree that you can’t survive the entirety of infinity. But glimpse is enough to see that you are not the god.

@Outer my realization does not mean that I am complete in any ways. I will still have to work on myself to live the conscious life. By conscious life I mean not identifying with separate “entities” such as mind, thought, body or etc.. but rather to see myself as the knowing of this whole human experience which is ultimately part of the god’s infinite being. That does not mean that mind, body or egoic desires are bad. No, not at all. It is all part of the same experience. And you are the knowing of it. Ultimately there is no separation but at the same time there is the separation between finite and infinite. That is the paradox. And that’s what many don’t understand in my opinion. Including me before this realization. You can never become the infinite in your current form.

@Outer English is not my first language. I had very clear realization of everything I was so desperately looking for. There is no where to look for it. You are already the god’s being in finite form. You can never become the god in this form. Because the god is infinity. And that’s the most amazing gift god offers to “himself” to experience it’s details through us. Rather than being only chaos of infinite big picture. We are the god’s knowing of itself... P.S. my experience was going full circle. I killed my ego. God became the god. God killed the god in me again and I became the human again. The realization, the knowledge was “downloaded” in me without words. It was other type of communication between the infinity and finite.

@Joseph Maynor there are stages of realization. Stop trying to understand my experience. It is mine. Yours is yours.

For all those who misunderstood my message. I found the perfect explanation of my experience by Rupert Spira. He is the greatest! Listen and maybe you will understand that ego is not a mistake! Ego is not the devil. Ego is no real separation. Ego is Willingly becoming finite so that infinite god can know itself more closely. This is the last explanation I give on this topic. Now sorry, I have the life ahead to enjoy peace!

I know what I saw and learned. They did not see what I did. I understand that they have their own paradigms. But I saw perfectly that there are no true or wrong ways to experience your life. It is your choice. And I choose to be the human. God needs my existence as human the same way as I need god to exist. I got all the answers. I am not going to argue with anybody here. I am in the perfect peace of existence right now. I will go now and enjoy every second of my life and thank god everyday for the life intended for me.

@blazed it is not god who is afraid of itself. It is the human who is afraid of god. And that is natural. That is why human is human and not the god... stop playing god!

That is exactly what happened. It is never ending cycle of god becoming the human! I actually wanted to write that in my initial post but forgot. You reminded me it.

@Joseph Maynor Enlightenment is just word. That’s what I’m saying. Real enlightenment starts when you stop chasing to become the god and become the human experiencing the only true experience you have in the moment... I don’t need tripping anymore. I already got anawers I wanted. Good luck on your life path!

@Monkey-man No you did not understand my message. There is nothing wrong with being human. Infinite God is being finite human through you. This is the divinity of being the human. You can never stay infinite in this finite dimension! It is impossible!

@Joseph Maynor I don’t need help. No more. Not in this. I became the human. I know it’s hard to understand from your paradigm guys but I know what happened. I am in the peace.

Agree. That is what I said in other words.