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I would love to hear how others in the same spectrum of development deals with the challenges of dating in a world of mostly conventional/tier one individuals! (What are your challenges? How do you date? What's your success story? What do you seek in a partner? Advice in general for this particular stage). ----- From my experiences its rather difficult to find relationships with depth in the conventional domains. Getting dates is fairly easy by following "the game", however the quality of the dates and relationships I do find is reflected thereof. Plenty of conventional relationships has great value, and these are awesome people! It's not that. I've also dated several women in these stages, and despite many having values, ideas and several attractive qualities, somehow the deeper emotions elude the relationship. Typically, my feelings simply do not develop, and with some poorly developed orange desires I often fall into a classical man-trap of thinking with the wrong head and end up with a woman head over heels for me with no inkling of reciprocity. My main challenges is the fact that I have a general disinterest in the conventional dating domain, and typically only date women met in real life. With the intense focus on my life purpose and the behaviors that reflect it, which aren't that social. Combined with the dating domain (in my country and city) consisting of either clubs, parties, or tinder, and wham, we got ourselves a toothpaste and orange-juice situation! Hah! Moreover, I have zero interest in having my phone in my face to text for the sake of texting. Which is apparently a requisite for dating today. Thus, when not playing the game, its pretty fucking dry out there. Regardless of that, I've noticed that women the closest to postconventional/yellow (or beyond) behaviors and paradigms elicit a spiritual boner in me. That is, these woman makes the heart smile rather than the unga-bunga drools I get from conventional dating. I recently shuffled around my priorities, work-life, and general purpose driven tasks to open up for more social contact in order to amend these challenges and seek out like-minded individuals for both dating and friendships. So I ask my fellow postconventionalists, where and how the fuck do I find you? Also, what are your advices for tackling this? ---- Finally, Leo, if you read this, how do you deal with these challenges? what is your advice?

I must respectfully disagree on this statement, to a degree. I love Yoga, Swimming, Weightlifting with emphasis on bodybuilding as well as calesthenics, and Jiu Jitzu. Practicing these weekly. Tai chi I have yet to try. All of them energize the body and all of them provide with this pump, push and general energy bursts you mention - when done properly. And these forms of exercise only provide with momentary exhaustion which usually rebounds into massive energy bursts. I have tried variations of Yoga exercises that most certainly burn like hell on earth, of course followed by a burst of both energy and amazing pump. This is also true for many other forms of exercise. Hypertrophy Weightlifting, calesthenics and Jiu Jitzu have all given those same experiences. So when you say you are looking for a pump or push rather than burn/tear or drain, the latter being these other unnecessary exercises I mention - I presume you simply havent had the pleasure of experiencing them properly which builds grounds for this misunderstanding. Even if you are healthy you should exercise on a regular basis, regardles of how atheltic your heart is or how healthy you diet is. Exercise is not about its results, it is about the actual act of exercising. It is litterally what this human body is buildt for as part of our potential. It is not saying that it is unhealthy to have a great diet and average activity without exercise. You can have a great wellbeing and superb life on those grounds as well. I am simply pointing out that as a spiritual being I wish to explore my potential and that exercise is a major part of that. As for being stretch oriented; Every form of exercise if done properly must include both a post and pre stretch warm up/cool down. Proper exercise of any fomr means that you warm up properly by getting the blood flowing, then stretch to loosen the joints and ligaments to ready the body for the comming stressor. Complete the workout and follow up with more stretching to cool down and losen up the ligaments and muscles to ensure proper recovery and growth. All exercise includes its own stretch oriented procedure. Yoga however focuses the entire workout on this and is therefore a great exercise indeed and I assume this is what you mean by stretch oriented. Which I can agree is a more suitable form of exercise if you mainly wish to carry on that wellbeing and healthy lifestyle without excess strain. Calesthenics is very similar to yoga, with both emphasis on stretching as well as strength. Only utilizing the body itself for weight. It is the oldest most natural form of exercise we have. As primates calesthenics is in our genes so to speak. ------------- So, just to clarify. Yes, you do not need to go to the gym, or do excessive exercise, for wellbeing as long as your diet and lifestyle is healthy and have moderate acitivty involved. You will remain healthy as long as those pre-requisites are also healthy. With the question of health and general wellbeing in regards I completely agree with you @pluto If the wish is for further wellbeing then Yoga, probably Tai chi, swimming and calesthenics will do wonders. If the wish is for growth or skill then Weightlifting and Jiu Jitzu (or other forms of skillfull exercise) will do wonders. Doing these will naturally also provide with increased wellbeing and health. Now, if the wish is to explore your potential and reality, as any personal development and spiritual journey naturally drives toward, then I suggest exercising regardless of the stature of your wellbeing and health. As there is a spiritual aspect of exercise that lies deep in its foundations and can only be found through exploring that which hasnt yet been explored. The exercise form you choose should not mainly be focused on one branch throughout this journey. And you should definitely not restrain from attempting certain forms of exercise because you label them as unneseccary or do not truly understand how they work. Try different forms over a certain period and see what you enjoy and find fulfilment in. Remember, Exercise is not about the results.

both @Dan Arnautu and @Michael569 hits it straight on the nail. You have mentioned you are doing core training, which really doesnt do anything other than tone up the core, so dont go expecting to gain size anywhere with that strategy. This is why you have stayed the same weight. You should indeed get invested in basic weightlifting exercises such as the Deadlift, the Squat and the Bench Press as well as the basic calesthenic exersises such as push ups, Dipps, chin ups and hangups. What those exercises do is focus on the larger muscle groups of the body which in turn enables certain hormones to be released in the body that stimulate growth. Especially so when it comes to Deadlifts and squats. They are essential for gaining mass. Further, by the few stats you have provided we can fairly deduce you are a strong ectomorph. Tall, skinny and struggle with gaining any kind of mass really, that be muscle or fat. Which means you probably have quite the high BMR (Basic metabolic rate). Familiarize yourself with the bodytype you posess and train - eat accordingly to progress toward the goals you have set. And learn all you can about nutrition, for ectomorphs nutrition is really more toward the 99 percent of why you arent getting where you wish. Now, as @pluto pointed out. Do not go on this endeavor if the motivations and reasonings arent really substantial and conscious one might say. But I would not go as far as to say it doesnt matter, even if you are feeling great already - you should exercise. It is a fundamental pillar of personal development and for the modern man it is extremely important as our current environment does not stimulate our body toward its potential. But you should clarify as to why. Go to the gym with a purpose of doing work. Of experiencing new challengees and beating them. Go further than you did before and push beyond those boundaries of comfort you have set all around you. Get comfotable in the act of exercise itself, not its results. Focus on the now, and take the bonuses for what they are - bonuses. Now, goals are necessary for success in the field of exercise. But your goals should merely be markers along they way, proving that you are strategizing correctly. So if the goal is to gain 5kg - you need to strategize accordingly in both nutrition and weightlifting. The goal itself is not what you are exercising for in the first place, it is simply a tool. The more you train the more you will discover this. If you havent tried already, you might be an excellent swimmer! Lightwieght and tall you would slice that water surface like a knife. Have you tried different forms of exercises? Maybe weightlifting isnt for you.

@Afonso Take a quick look at the post "A Conscious Approach to Exercise" for more in depth. You have developed your awareness to spot superficial motivations for exercising, but not enough to see the truth of what exercise really is. Exercise is not about getting big, gaining confidence, building muscle to "look good", getting a six-pack, so on and so forth. Those are simply minor bonuses to the whole ordeal. The human body is buildt to manage extreme feats, more so than any modern man knows. It is a machine, a powerful machine. The body and mind are in the same vessel, they are joined in harmonic balance. So, what then happens when a human gains so much resource that it does not need to utilize the bodys potential? Attrophy. Of both body and mind, because they are One. Exercise isnt only exercise for the body, its also for the mind. For consciousness. When you truly train, you push boundaries, experience things that you havent ever experienced before. Illuminating consciousness unto those experiences. You do what you litterally were created to do. Boundaries are set by ego. "noo, no I cannot do that". When those boundaries are broken the ego is broken and consciousness is flowing. If you go to the gym with the sole vision of beating your boundaries, you will see the truth of what exercise truly is. All of those physical effects are merely the benefits of exercise, they are manifestations. Results from pushing and destroying boundaries. It is the act of destroying those boundaries that is the truth of exercise and it is there you will find your true motivation.

@Marinus As @Dan Arnautu is pointing out, it has nothing to do with introversion or extraversion. Nor does it with what type of personality you identify with. It is a matter of what you are setting out to do in the gym or by exercising in the first place. What your motivations and reasonings are. If you simply force yourself there because you need to, because if you dont you will get in worse shape, or because your wishes are superficial and not really substantial - you will be bothered by the monkey mind. Because you dont really wish to be there or because your reasonings for being there are in fact superficial, blurry and maybe even forced. Set proper substantial goals that are in reach. A goal to simply beat the previous you, a goal to doubble your core routine, a goal to get to know you bodys true limits, etc Other factors such as the way in which you train also affect this. A simple equation for you: Proper training = less monkey mind Improper training = more monkey mind If you are there to truly train, meaning to push boundaries, to get the sweat running and the blood flowing - the monkey mind will naturally disperse as there is no room for it. There is only training. Next time you go to the gym or do your core routine, try to challenge those pre-determined boundaries you have set, see if you can push beyond. And by doing so, I guarantee that there will be no monkey mind. The essence of training is to break boundaries to evolve. But who sets them in the first place? You. You are also the monkey mind. Break the boundaries - Break the monkey mind.

Indeed, I agree. If the whole process is entertaining and fun it will naturaly stick easier than the more advanced and demanding paths. As the title states however, we are talking about a conscious approach - therefore directed toward those already interested in personal development and whom I then presume already has the necessary energy requirements (i.e drive, focus and dicipline - etc) to construct a more advanced, strategic approach to exercise while still managing to keep it both entertaining and enjoyable simply by their state of being. Most that I have coached are regular average Joe's and most without deeper understanding of reality. Here the easy, less demanding strategies give the best results, no question. This you have experienced yourself. But there has been a few with the drive and passion necessary to really delve into the depths and it is these people that have had the absolute best results imaginable, surpassing even accievements I have experienced on a few occasions. Which is also why this small post highlighting the basic in-depth essentials were made, so that maybe a few more with the correct potentials can get it going. Heck, even those who dont might find it illuminating enough to get at it. Now fasting is a great idea! And very healthy. Homo Sapiens are new to this modern diet of constantly having something to eat, we developed over thousands of years with longer stretches of no food due to the lack of resources. It is perfectly natural and highly beneficial for us to do fasting on a regular basis. -------------------------- Wonderful! From the superficial motivations and into the deeper understanding of exercise. Keep it going!

As @pluto mentioned fasting is very ideal and also extremely healthy and a natural thing for our body. Remember, Homo Sapiens have been on this earth for quite some time and it has only very recently been introduced to the modern diet and way of life. Back in the day we sometimes had to go several days without food due to lack of resources and we developed with this happening on a regular basis for thousands of years. So fasting = good stuff. furthermore I suggest you get familiar with basic nutritional knowledge such as what Calories, macronutrient and micronutrients are and how they work, the latter part very important. The internet will provide! What works for me does not necessary work for you, a healthy and useful diet is a personalization project really. Figure out if you simply want to maintain your weight, gain muscle mass, lose fat or maybe none - maybe you just wish for a diet that supercharges your brain and wellbeing. If so, figure out where your BMR (Basic Metabolic Rate) lies and try to calculate your activity level, by doing so you will reach a daily calorie expenditure which you can build out of. When you construct your diet try staying within 200 calories give or take if the wish is for maintenance. Adjust up or down for other goals. The diet should be mostly plant based with some meats, chicken, fish and red meats - stay away from anything processed. Raw veggies and superfoods rich in vitamins and minerals are gold. As well as differend fungi supplements for brain health. You might even want to buy various fundamental supplements, like Vitamin D3, K and B-complexes. Omega 3 Fatty acids, fatty fish and MCT oil as well as avocadoes and various nuts are great sources of fats. MCT oil: Medium Chain Triglycerides, are saturated fats with a shorter carbon chain that result in a different processing in the body. The MCTs get burned as carbohydrates and completely surpasses the liver contrary to other saturated fats, when they reach the brain they turn into Ketones which is another fuel-source for the brain besides carbohydrates. If you find the Paleo Diet or Ketogenic Diet to be attractive I suggest using MCT-oils. There is really a huge number of supplements, vitamins and minerals out there. The best advice I can give is really to do your own research and from that construct a personalized diet based on your bodytype and lifestyle.

The Conscious Approach to Exercise First we go surface level. Then we delve into the deeper understandings of the task at hand. Please discuss this and add inn elements you find are necessary and ask as many questions as you wish. I have 9 years of experience with various forms of exercise and will answer as helpfull as possible. Hopefully this will result in the realization that Personal development is closely related to physical exercise (if you are not aware of this already) and that they potentiate each other. ------- What is exercise? "A trial or practice session in athletics" This means anything that trains your performance in any activity. This could be dancing, parkour, lifting, running, swimming and a whole list of activities. We will remain within the field of athletics even though the concept of exercise, or training rather, applies to all aspects of experience. See Leo's video "No Growth Possible Without Training" for more. Exercise for most is about pushing boundaries and developing further performance within their chosen athletic field for the purpose of attaining a series of goals. If you lack the goals you are also not doing true exercise, you are then running around a dark forest without a flashlight. Most fail at this initial step. The rest who manage to set certain goals also tend to set "non-conscious" goals. The last nine years to the present moment I have seen countless individuals come and go to the gym, whereas only a handful have made it through and carried on with the years. What made them so special? Let us delve into the principles of exercise. So why do most exercise? What are the common goals or mindsets that drive most to exercise? I decided, 6 years ago, to actually ask every newcomer what their reasons for joining the gym was, and the top tier answers are as follows; - "I want to look good" - "I want to be sexy and have women/men look at me with envy" - "I want to get BIG" - "I want to get ripped"= = - "I want to feel good" - "I want to be strong" - "I wish to build my confidence" - "All of my friends are doing it!" - "It's become a thing lately, so I had to try" - "This one over here convinced me to join" - "It is a great place to hang out as well as getting some healthy exercise!" "It is healthy for me" "I have to do it because if I don’t, I will get fat and unhealthy" "I don’t like the way my body feels and need to make a change" - "I'm curious as to what exercise is" - "I want to test out my boundaries" - "I want to see how far I can get" - "I just like to push myself" - "I like the feeling of exercise and how it affects my body" - "I love the pain of it" There are countless other answers as well, but these are the main categories. Many people, of course, are within more than one answer. Some wish to both look good and test their boundaries others have the knowledge of the health benefits as well as the wish to attain more confidence. Regardless, these are the fundamental triggers for the initial attempts (in most cases). Why then do most fall off this waggon? This is where "level of awareness" usually plays an important role. The lack of understanding how true exercise works and the ability to figure it out. Initial goals are that of the ego, yet exercise does not necessary follow the attractive path the ego wants - fast progress and ease. So the ego lose interest, motivation and simply "forgets" to exercise further. I tried and found out; "it wasn’t for me". The usual duration lasts from 1 week to a year. After a year 90 percent of all who started have fallen off. They may even start all over and end up progressing exactly the same only to fall off once more. Let us take a deeper look at the hurdles that toss most off in a fairly chronological order as you encounter them: The first barrier is simply interest and motivation: Interest in exercise itself and a fundamental curiosity provides with the essential energy required to take action. This energy is motivation. With these one might attempt the first challenge of exercise; Habit; Every single January the gym is packed with newcomers, the infamous New Year Resolutions. A week later the amount of people are halved. A month later its halved again. Those who remain now usually manage to push on for various stretches of time and some even successfully creates a fundamental exercising habit. We all know the challenges of habit, and most in this forum have good knowledge of its structure and elements. Being aware of this hurdle will be an essential tool for success and opens up for the next challenge; Lack of Goals; Let us say you have successfully constructed the habit of exercising, you go three times a week and you have done so for over 3 weeks. You will even start to feel some effects about now. Your goal however, is blurry and not really substantial. "Well, I just want to look good". So when you train, you lift some weights, feel some pain and push here and there. But the goal of "looking good", is not really a useful goal is it? Nor is it the most conscious. So you do not really have a clue as to what you are doing, and thus motivation will slowly deplete as there is no progress. There is no progress because you have nothing to compare with nor anything to aim for. Take a look in the mirror, assess your body. It is a sculpture and it is perfectly sculpt-able. How then can you transform "want to look good" into a useful goal?Find a vision. Visualize where you want to go, what you regard as "looking good" and aim for that. A six-pack for most is categorized as looking good. Let us use that. "My goal is to get a six-pack" Now that you have such a goal you can easily plan out your exercises toward the success of this by adding sit-ups to sculpt and define your abs, and cardio to rid the fat. (Nutrition will also play a very important role here) With this you will gain more energy in the form of motivation and maybe even passion toward exercise. Around this time it is also very important to start journaling your exercises, which will a fundamental help in tracking your goals and progress. The challenges will progressively become more and more difficult henceforth. Lack of Knowledge; You go to the gym regularly and you have a goal set and you have some fair understanding of how exercise works, most likely from a few articles online and what you remember from school. You know that exercise is about pushing boundaries and pushing the body to its limits in order to progress. Now ask yourself, do you really have true knowledge of how exercise works? Do you know of the fundamental principles and variables of training? Do you know how your body responds to exercise and how to make this efficient? Do you know the various exercises and their effects? Do you have nutritional knowledge? A great man once said; "Learning equals behaviour change". This could not be more true for exercise. The more you learn the more you will change your exercise behaviour. This is also the one true challenge that differ success from failure. If you stay true to always updating your knowledge you will be successful in the art of conscious exercise. There are two branches of experience resulting from the success or failure of this challenge. One leads to the next series of challenges; Mastery - dealing with the plateau, Nutrition - developing your fuel for success, etc The other leads to; Lack of Progress and loss of Motivation These are essentially the same challenge but with two different approaches, one is with knowledge the other without. Branch One, Lack of Progress Without sufficient knowledge one will ultimately hit the infamous plateau and will have absolutely no clue as to what to do next. The training plateau is one of the hardest challenges of exercise and requires extensive knowledge and energy to defeat. Let us carry on with our story; You have your goals, habit and a fair understanding of exercise. You have read a few articles and surfed bodybuilding sites and seen a bunch of videos. The last six months have been awesome, you clearly see some abs coming forth and you may even have set new goals. Motivation is at its peak and you are ready for more. As the next month pass absolutely nothing happens, you train but the progress seems to have slowed down substantially, weeks pass by and you might not notice any change. You might even try to change up your workout regiment, and even though it helps a bit the progress doesn’t regain its previous levels. Motivation starts to drop and other events in your life starts to take priority. Suddenly there has been a week without any exercise and before you know it, none at all. Up to this point we have lost, say out of 100 people, 50 the first week, 25 the following month. Another 5 to lack of goals and 10 to lack of knowledge and the resulting plateau. What remains are 10 people whom now have to delve deep into the conscious approach to exercise to defeat the plateau. - Developing a fundamental knowledge-base - Setting both short and long-term goals - Getting familiar with concepts and principles of training - Strategizing for success - Acting it out consciously Branch Two - Deepening your Knowledge Mastery - Dealing with the plateau This is a reference to the book "Mastery" which is essential to success in any attempt at mastering anything. It is especially powerful for exercise. Learn to love the plateau, develop a strategy that will ensure a continued progressive stressor on the body with sufficient rest to allow for supercompensation that ultimately results in a boost to the next plateau. Simply put, do not give up. Periodization principles - Knowing when to train, at what intensity and when to rest. Look up General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS). It is in fact strikingly similar to the graph provided in Mastery. Nutrition - Developing your fuel for success Without sufficient nutrition you will not only loose progress but also put yourself in danger of harming your body. Nutrition is essential for growth and development of both body and mind. Now as we deepen our knowledge we start to realize the truth of what exercise really is, fulfilling potential. Nutrition will makes us more effective in any field of reality. Suddenly things are more profound than those initial "I want to get ripped" mindsets. We are now delving into efficiency of mind and body - Personal Development. Calories and Macronutrients knowing what fats, carbohydrates and protein do and why they are so important. Micronutrients knowing what vitamins, minerals and other supplements do and why they too are important. Training Principles and Variables ; Developing deeper understanding of the principles and variables of training, their importance and effects. Where do you find this information? Most successfull atheletes have produced a book, read them, learn and apply. Strategize; Compile your knowledge, create/further develop a journal, structure and strategize how to complete goals as well as overcome challenges. Strategy is the collection of your abilities into the action-plan, this is where knowledge and goals merge into one. Strategy will defeat the plateau and ensure progress. What we see here is in fact not only physical exercise but also very strong mental exercise. You will learn to do research, goalsetting, strategize and structuring - compiling these into a system. The essentials of exercise are then as follows; - Knowledge - Know what you are doing - Goals - Know where you are going - Strategy - Know how you are to do it - The final fundamental pillar for conscious exercise is then, of course, conscious effort. We have now delved through the essentials of exercise, but as most may have realized - the common reasoning for exercise are not exactly "conscious". Egoic goals and mindsets introduce many into this realm, and thus they fall off when the path to success depends on deeper understanding and effort, even those with admirable goals and mindsets lack the conscious effort needed for success. Those who do succeed have realized something entirely different, the fact that during the process of attaining these exercise goals - something profound arises. Literally the blueprint to Personal Development. If you exercise by these principles diligently over the course of years most notice profound changes to both body and mind. The Body includes the brain, the brain is in strong Neurogenesis if you are a regular at exercising. You literally grow your brain - your mind. The strategizing and structuring of your training journal will also, if you are conscious enough and familiar with personal development, morph into a beautiful system that enables you to take on reality and change it. (See Leo's video on Journaling.) let us say you wish to learn the piano, how then would you proceed? Knowledge - Know what you are doing Goals - Know where you are going Strategy - Know how you are to do it Action - Do it with conscious effort. So, to those of you who look upon physical exercise such as bodybuilding for example, - with dismay as a "egoic" activity or simply cannot comprehend a more profound reasoning than the superficial or simply lack a reasonable motivation, must realize that there are underlying processes that are substantially more profound than the wish to get big or look good. In truth, there is even more to exercise than what you could ever imagine. When you push boundaries, really push them - through pain, blood and sweat - the ego has no choice but to let go. When you are in the middle of a 6 mile swim, is there a thought? Or is there pure action? When you are at the bottom of a 200kg Squat, I can promise you that there is nothing but the present moment. When you push beyond that which you have stated to be your limit, what happens? The ego has put down a barrier saying "noo, no I cannot do that" - and you destroy it. You annihilate it, and what you are in that moment is true being. There is nothing more than the action at hand. "I died at the third rep" Is a favourite saying of mine as it rings truth, when the mind says no I push through destroying any attempt at giving up. When you are in the middle of a hardcore choreograph, hitting every note of motion, Dancing with the music - There is only being. When you have run the steepest of hills with all your effort, mouth tasting nothing but blood, there is only being. When you climb the highest mountain, there is only being. When boundaries are being pushed you are exercising not only your body, but also awareness. You are literally experiencing things you have not ever experienced before, shining conscious light upon it. Expanding experience itself. Physical exercise becomes a powerful meditational activity, training both the physical and the non-physical. That is the truth of exercise, and that is the truth of conscious exercise. Furthermore it potentiates Personal Development, the energy input vs output breaks the physical laws. You get more in return than what you provided with in the first place, a lot more. This energy can be directed toward other conscious activities, developing your potential and passion in life ever further. Therefore physical exercise is in fact a fundamental activity for profound growth, equal to that of meditation and should be included in all attempts at Personal Development.