sleeperstakes

@Girzo I currently can't or don't have the knowledge to control my thoughts exactly how I'd like though, i wish it was as simple as just "Dont care what other people think" For sure though i need to take a more holistic approach, i often tend to focus in on one thing, for example confident people can be dicks so just focus on being a dick as much as possible. I tend to over analyse things especially in my own behaviour or imagining the thoughts of other people. I think the best path in life, especially when combating fears, is to, in Leo's words "take the path that is emotionally most difficult."

@SFRL still working on that. Bought the life purpose course and working my way through it.

@SFRL the idea of mastery, 100% responsibility, big picture thinking, high yield techniques, systems thinking, being present, and many other topics covered in Leo's videos. Not nearly as much as I should, I'm not a complete shut in I do have a friend circle, but I'm very introverted and find it hard to connect to strangers and not put on an act in front of people. I occasionally go to bars clubs etc and I do follow a lot of PUA concepts and I think it's a key to getting out more, but again, I don't "live them"

I think that this is what I need to do. It's my weakest point and it would push me just outside my comfort zone but not far enough to make me freak out and want to leave.

Thanks for your help, I've purchased the course and in hindsight it was worth the investment

have you ever come close to quitting personal development or changing careers? what would be an example of a time you were close to giving up

Work ethic is important. Probably the most important skill to have in general in life. How do I cultivate it?

Get a vision for where you want to be. It doesn't matter whether it changes, but having a vision is one of the biggest drivers of success and actualisation. The biggest difference between a leader and a follower is the power of their vision. You seem like you've invested a decent amount of time into discovering your skills and values, so use them to create your vision. Unfortunately none of us can tell you what your life purpose should be, you have to discover it. You seem like you're on the right path, keep going, get a vision for the future, whether it means starting a restaurant, committing to your art, or doing something personal development related. The more detailed the better. Good luck!

I've been meditating for about 2 years now and ive definitely seen results in terms of being able to calm myself in relaxed situations and being more aware of myself. I always forget however, to be mindful throughout the day, and although i know the thought "what does it mean to be mindful?" is a thought and not being mindful itself, often in anxious, busy settings or "fog mind" settings i always find it difficult to remember to be aware, because i forget on an experiential level how to be mindful, and whether it's being mindful or just thinking about being mindful. Any techniques for this such as walking meditation you can suggest to help me meditate all day everyday?

Notice your desire to be "forced" to come back to the world still shows attachment to it, even if not on a conscious level. Second, that realisation is a profound one. There's a reason many yogis retreat into caves and live in isolation. Try having some more solo retreats sometime soon. See what comes out of it. If you got this sense from the retreat, it's quite likely you will get more from doing it again. Thirdly, I understand from a practical level, living alone as a yogi is not realistic. If you feel this way perhaps try to find people that can relate to you about this, like a group retreat or similar.

It would be interesting to see what high yield techniques you've all found for actualisation and any other subjects you've tried to study.

I've always lived my life fairly lazily. Not so lazy i fail, but just hovering above failure in the realm of mediocrity. In my job I'm always the one at the bottom of the pack who they sometimes think they should fire but just keeps his performance in the acceptable level. My grades in school were never stellar, even though i consider myself of above average intelligence. I don't put in the work i need to succeed, my workout results are mediocre, my grades were mediocre and With exception to maybe martial arts and creativity most other areas of my life are the same. How do i become "addicted to the process" put in the hours and get the vision i need to drop the "C grade" attitude and get an A+ in life. are there any book suggestions or recommendations?

I agree for sure that my life has been way too cushy. It's a classic case of being raised as the special snowflake millennial in a white suburb. How would you suggest is the best way to meet the kind of people that aren't average? Because as you say average people become friends with average people, it's fairly likely that my average friends will also have average friends. What are the best books and resources for life purpose specifically? Is Leo's course worth an investment?

for me, monkey mind is just the mind wanting to be out of the current situation, so i understand how you feel, If im feeling particularly anxious i find it extremely difficult to be aware. cold showers, i think it just depends on what kind of state of mind you're in. If you spend half an hour building up to it and you drag yourself into it kicking and screaming, of course the mind is going to resist. But if you just stand up, go into the shower and turn it on, without the chatter, and just feel the cold rather than resist it, i find it not only lessens the pain of the cold because you're not tensing up to it, but also in turn that reduces the monkey mind. This is especially useful with a pain that is consistent, such as during stretching or if you experience a chronic pain. As for exercise. Im an introvert and i exercise fairly regularly, i dont find monkey mind troubles me so much here. Perhaps because I don't resist it or fear it? I'm not sure how true that is, but i understand what you mean, especially if i push myself to my physical limit. The more you do this though, the more comfortable experiencing it you will be, which is the same for anything, it always becomes easier to meditate on it if you're comfortable with it, real growth comes from meditating on what makes you uncomfortable.

so I've been doing some research and there seems to be a lot of conflict between some places which claim nearly all vitamin, mineral and protein supplements are a waste of money, and others which say how invaluable they are. I currently take slow release vitamin C, Red krill oil, multivitamins and ginseng and ginkgo biloba tablets. I'm currently considering: Maca, baobab, protein and antioxidant powders. Are these a huge waste of money? or will i see genuine long term health benefits?

So I'm 19 and have been in 3/4 extremely short lived relationships, usually lasting a month or less. While they are great while they last, they usually end up with a drop in communication either due to over-clinginess or just not meeting up/ talking as much. On top of this communication problem, I also have a hard time getting close to people, I'm not sure why, possibly insecurity. Due to this I find dating and relationships extremely difficult to handle as I get over-attached, and overthink things and end up scaring people off. I've been doing research into pickup recently and it does look like it'll improve my social skills, but in the reverse, it also seems pretty shallow and like the guys who do it only really care about fucking hot girls. Sex is great but it's not really super important to me, possibly because I'm fairly inexperienced so I don't know how great it can be, but for me dating/ relationships are more important than just getting laid. Does pickup help with this and will it help me socially, or are there other better ways to work on my issues?

so I've had a problem with dealing with other people for a long time, I've got considerably better since i started personal development, but social anxiety and awkwardness pretty much rule my life at the moment and has done for a number of years. Words don't come easily to me at all and I get extremely anxious around large groups of people whether it be clubs or just big crowds, which is ironic because I'm a full-time waiter. I have a meditation practice and have had one for just under 2 years, i find anything that i can do at home like meditation, reading or exercise astronomically easier than going out into the outside world and confidently approaching people and talking to people. I know that i actively "don't trust" people and stay extremely introverted with most people until i know them better. I definitely have an extreme case of "nice guy" syndrome. The anxiety, the face i put on when in public and my mistrust of others severely limits my social life and can make me feel pretty isolated at times. I want to know if any of you have had to deal with and overcome this, how you did it and if you have any tips on how i can overcome this huge hurdle in my life.

@Christos do you think that something like journalling and self inquiry is useful for stuff like that? Generally speaking I'm pretty open with my emotions unlike a lot of guys, but that still doesn't mean that I can uproot my emotional issues no problem. It feels like identifying their root is fairly easy (eg my mother was dismissive and both my parents could be neurotic when I was a child) but Changing it is a lot more difficult without trying everything because I'm not sure what works.

@aurum you make a good point, even from the aspect of, getting rid of approach anxiety, meeting more people to get a better idea of what there is to offer. Secondly, your point about wanting sex more than I realized does make me wonder whether it is more important than I think and it's just that I have yet to do a rewire.

@Afonso I've had a meditation practice for a while, but it's only recently I've been extending mindfulness to my emotions in my life. Also, I haven't researched the last 2 as much but I heard Leo and the guys at RSD talk about them so I'll look into them more.

@Ferdi Le i take red krill oil which I think has all of cod liver oil and a couple of other things. @SFRL Do you need caffeine? Is protein and creatine still useful/essential as someone who's more interested in strength and fitness than size/tone? @Psychonaut how do you plan your meals for keto? I'm interested in starting it but I don't know any good places to get started in terms of meal planning, recipes, and what foods to eat/avoid

@egoless it's really strange you mentioned that book because I'm just on the last 30 pages of it at the moment. The thing I find about that book is that it's really great in terms of zen philosophy, for instance there is no self, no such thing as good or bad etc but these are all just words that don't really change my experience of the world. Most of my social anxiety is subconscious, and I haven't found a way to rewire my beliefs and actually become more present. I find that even if I try and feel all the sensations in my body, it doesn't really help if I'm anxious at the time, I just feel present and anxious at once. Knowing that the one that is experiencing anxiety is also the one causing which also happens to be the one that doesn't exist in the first place doesn't change how anxious I am because it's something I *know* but not something I *believe*. You said that meditation isn't helpful unless I can teach myself to become present but I thought that's what meditation was? If not what can I do to become more present?

For me one of the biggest things that help me get past things like this was to realise that it's all in your head. Existence hasn't changed because you suddenly started thinking about her, and even if you were in a relationship you've gotta realise that your happiness or unhappiness with her would totally be created from yourself, not her. This can be a difficult thing to wrap your head around so it's generally a lot better if you have experience with meditation or mindfulness. Don't try and resist these feelings, let them wash over you, like you're inside and the storm is out there. If you don't identify with them and instead just feel them, the feelings are a lot less intense. Though having said that, this can be challenging, especially if you don't have many woman in your life or a lonely. Get out there and do things, meet people, maybe you'll even find someone else you're interested and you'll forget all about her. If you can do both of these, i guarantee you'll be happy and more fulfilled.

I have started one, and one of the biggest challenges I have had to struggle is finding reliable sources for research. Given that there are so many opinions and so many topics to blog about