Vitamine Water

I'm currently on the toilet

Day 34 Things I want to improve: - earlier bedtime - morning meditation - steady qi gong exercise - 30 minutes of reading - 1 SDS per week - wake up earlier in weekends - start running (evenings) - less ice coffee - steady self inquiry habit - train my social skills - start dating Priority: - earlier bedtime - steady qi gong exercise - 30 minutes of reading - SDS

Day 32 I now use this sexual energy to become more aware. It is not a technique that I do, it happens automatically. Whenever I feel and urge come up, I focus on the present moment and I rest in that for a few seconds. And the urge fades away. The sexual energy (still a very low amount) is in this way used as a trigger to be aware of the present moment. But my qi gong exercise is very on-off. I don't practice it daily, but I want to. The weekends kinda mess up my normal morning routine because I wake up relatively late on Saturdays and Sundays compared to the weekdays. I also feel like Bruce Lee. Cya

Day 31: easy One month in and feeling GOOD! I'm starting to work on my life goals. I'm more mindful during work times and I feel more energetic to do creative stuff in the evenings. Which could also be a trap too, because it's kind of addicting and so I go to sleep at 1 am. I still sleep for 7 hours but it's not a good habit to go to bed at 1am. Reading at 23:00 and meditation at 23:30 was on my list, so let's pick that up starting tomorrow. I guess the "less brain fog" is a thing now. I feel overall more aware. More mindful. Even during heavy work... I feel that tingling sensation between my eyebrows when I become awareness. Its like my higher self is giving me a gentle bitch slap

Nice! As soon as you know it, you're at 30 days in. All you need is long term focus!

Day 29: easy Yesterday was good. Less thoughts. This night I woke up again and I thought I had another wet dream. So I was relieved that It didn't happen again. Also having more breakfast feels good. I slowly begin to feel less tired in the morning and I have more energy at work. I eat more healthy snacks at my work too.

Day 28: difficult Today was the ultimate challenge. My parents were gone for the whole day so I had a lot of alone time. Normally on a Sunday like this I would definitely take my time to watch porn and fap. Maybe even twice a day. Get all kinky and stuff And I definitely had those urges. My mind was spinning around a lot. But still, I didn't buy into it. I was telling myself to focus on the long term and not the quick fix. I also did SDS, something I haven't done in months. It felt great to trigger the ego again. Like this authentic voice is telling me to kick its ass. Afterwards I was way more aware of my sexual thoughts and I was able to just rest in the noticing. They just flew by, like clouds. It made me more motivated to focus on meditation and mindfulness. One of my biggest, most practical insights from my solo retreat was to be aware, every waking second of my life. Maybe I'm starting to see the bigger picture again.

@Shin

Day 27: relatively easy I'm gonna be straight up. Today I sneaked into my phone and watched porn for like one minute.I was on the toilet with my phone in my hand, browsing youtube. I realized how quick it can go and how quick my mind took action. Energy rose through my body and I could feel that tunnel vision focus of looking at porn. After closing the tab I took a few very deep breaths, which brought me back to the present moment. Immediately I didn't veel horny anymore. I'm on the edgy of a cliff here, so for now on no more porn. This was the first and last time. I have to be disciplined with my mind. Also, no more mental masturbation, literally. Sometimes a fantasy comes up, like when i'm in the shower, and I kinda delve into it. I'm giving energy to it without noticing it. And I'm sure this gives the brain a dopamine rush, although in small amount. Im not sure. But it feels like that.

I've never been someone to hide my emotions or feelings perse, but I do resonate with that my highs feel more real, more authentic. It's like i'm a child again sometimes, and I don't care what others around me think. I'm not sure it's a direct effect of nofap tho, but it is a recent event that i've been noticing.

Day 26: relatively easy Same as yesterday. I'm getting turned on out of nowhere! I feel way more sensitive when I'm on my laptop or phone. A few months ago I downloaded a Google chrome extension which automatically blocks sites with sexual content. I believe it's called "block site" and it's a free download. It really helped me on my last nofap attempts. So to my fellow soldiers, check it out! Goodnight PS: Tomorrow I'm going to analyse my energy level and how my body reacts to sexual thoughts

Day 25: relatively easy I'm having a slightly harder time with sexual thoughts after the wet dream. It's like I have them more often. Or I'm just more aware of them, I don't know. I think it's the first. This morning I woke up thinking about sex and masturbation and I didn't have that before with this intensity. But it's okay because finally something is starting to happen

Sorry, maybe I was assuming too much And yea, I think you lost more than me, hence you felt more drained. We're hanging in there

That's okay man, feel free to post there Yea I felt pretty drained after the wet dream, but this was more physiological than physical. Only one "wave" so so speak came out. I was able to hold the rest and not make it a full *blown* orgasm. But I felt disappointment. I cleaned it up (it was around 4am) and I noticed how my mind reacted to what happened. A thought arose: "hey man, fuck it. Just jerk off right now man, you'll feel great, you've failed already". But I gave it no energy. Also I noticed that I still felt horny and in need to climax. Normally after an orgasm I have no desire in sex (like we all do) but now I kept this "nofap" energy and motivation and decided to live with that. And most importantly, there is absolutely nothing that you can do about this. Your body's default mode is to have orgasm. It's trying everything in its power to let something out. The goal of nofap is to quit watching porn and masturbate and eventually orgasm. You propably didn't do any of those. You just went to bed and woke up all wet. It's natural! Yes you lost about 41.5% (accurate af) of your sperm, but don't let it take you down. Use your mind and positive thinking to get back on track. Wet dreams are completely fine, especially on this journey. https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/do-you-consider-wet-dreams-a-pmo-streak-breaker.63415/

Day 24 Last night I had a wet dream. I woke up and was able to hold it mostly, but not everything. I felt pretty bad and disappointed when it happened. But I realised that it was totally out of my control. I didn't force anything, watched porn or had many sexual thoughts when I went to bed. A thought arose that I should just relapse (fully) , but I gave it no energy. Why would I? Also, I didn't feel like all of my energy was wasted and drained. I turned the disappointment 180 degrees into positive energy and fell asleep right after. I woke up and did my normal morning routine. Now, this evening, I still feel the energy and motivation I had before. So...we're moving on!!!

Day 23: easy Good day, business as usual. I need some home alone time to put myself to the ultimate test. Maybe I'll send my parents to Disneyland for a few days

Day 22: easy The morning meditation did good. Even though I was extremely tired. I also ate more breakfast, something that was on my list for a long time. Normally I drink a banana-spinach smoothy in the morning, but now I ate 2 sandwiches AND the smoothy, which is "a lot" for me. And one glass of water. Doing the qi-gong exercise also makes me more hungry in the morning. I felt slightly more energetic at work so i will be doing this everyday for sure. As for the PMO, it was a quiet day. Only in the evenings I felt a little more sensitive to thoughts. If I focus on other things these thoughts go away easily.

Haha sorry, let's not turn this into a meme page, we're super non-dualists guys!

I'm vegetarian anyways

Wink wink

Day 21: easy 3 weeks in! Hooray! What has changed since the start? - body awareness is building up. I'm More aware of my posture and how the body interacts with the environment. - more sexual thoughts and fantasies (of course) , but the "letting go" is easier. - More focus on what goals I want to achieve in the future. What I want to change in my life to become the best version of me. Other than that, nothing much. I'm feeling better and better with my health. I'm taking my rest in the weekends. Still having headaches now and then, but things are changing. Tomorrow morning I'm setting the alarm 30 minutes earlier to do meditation and qi gong. And I will stick to that. My system has to get used to it again.

@Sahil Pandit good to hear man. Go at it step by step. Doing everything at once works the other way around in my experience.

Thanks for the tip Shin. Waking up earlier is on my list too. I'm not a morning person but I have to give it a go this week, starting Monday morning!

Not really, honestly. I did pick up qi gong exercise almost every morning. But there is still a lot I wish to change in my routine. A few examples: - read 30 minutes a day - meditation at 23:00, not randomly before I go to bed every night - morning meditation I just haven't found the energy to start them all. I try to pick them up one by one. Today was the first evening since like 2 weeks that I started painting again. I didn't feel tired and felt creative. But the weekdays are kinda killing me. Work and graduation is really tough at the moment so all of my energy goes to that. My hopes are to stay energetic when I get back home from work so that I can make time for my hobbys and spiritual/self development work How about you?

Day 20: relatively easy This morning I woke up with a boner the size of Manhattan. I've been there once, It's a beautiful place. But HUGE! I had a lot more sexual thoughts today. More than usual. And these thoughts can be dangerous, in the sense that if you get caught up by the thought, you might act on it. Once you're in this "sexual thought loop" it might get hard to get out. Literally mental masturbation. Especially with erotic thoughts, because you can get triggered so easily. But everytime a thought like this came up, I had no real desire to actually fap or watch porn. It was just a thought with a slight energetic feeling to it, although very lightly.