Lubomir

@Lento Yes, I believe in the exactly same thing. I already learned a lot from her and she did from me. I'm really glad that I could met someone like her in my life. She will come tomorrow so we will talk again. I'm feeling great about it overall. Thx

It's more then month since we broke-up. First week I was on emotional rollercoaster and did cry from time to time. Right now, I'm "fine", obviously I do think about her almost everyday, but not in a sad way. I got ridoff of her things that she "left" in my room. But what is unpleasant for me is meeting her 1-2 times per week because we both study at same university. By term unpleasant I mean that it always turn on my thinking about her again and I can't focus at my own things. Then I tend to overanalyze things and that's my highway to hell I don't want this to drain my energy anymore. I know it's necessary to go through that, but I'm getting frustrated. Worst thing is that we broke-up with "one day, we both deal with our shit and come back together" - it makes me attached to her. Also we were good friends before. But I don't have problems to date or flirt with other womens right now, which is good I guess. I loved her, she loved me, but it was toxic at the end. There's also few events where we definitely see each other and it got me thinking if I should avoid them, or just go there and face it, even though I can be hurt by that, because she's very good at acting, I'm not, I just don't do that. Thx for reading this and please feel free to left any comment

So. Not so much time past by... and I'm dating my ex again. It all started when we saw each other on our graduation at the university. We talked a bit and she suggested to go for a caffe. I didn't have time for it that day, but I visited her later at her work. There I find out that she's still love me. We set another meeting 3 days after it. It was a date, really. And ofcourse we ended up having sex. But that wasnt the only thing that happened that day. Because I, for the first time, did told her into her face things, that really wasnt pleasant for her at any means. Few days after that I felt bad for it, so I asked her if we can see each other again, she agreed, expecting another storm of shits, but I apologized - did not take my words back, but apologized for the way I told it to her. Then I invited her for pizza as exchange and we spend nice night talking. I offered her a ride home and she agreed. When we were almost near her house, I asked her if I ever showe her that place near planetarium, she said no, so I asked if she wants to see it now? She said yes, ofcourse! I turned my car and we went there. It's nice hill where you can see over whole city. And in night it's romantic AF. There she started crying after while and almost destroyed my shift lever how she was trying to get on me, to hug me... There she told me how she's starting to realize, how bad she's treating others in her life and that she wants to change that. This was huge turn-up for me. Some days past by and right now I'm in hospital. She visited me as soon as she could, just right after my surgery. It was great to feel her nearby and we talked a lot again. But just few hours since she left I started thinking... and it was really unpleasant. I couldn't sleep because of that So I spend whole night thinking. It was thoughts about how this is going to be... and I didn't see it as something great. Sooner or later she will start to manipulate with me and then, then it will end again. So I started to think about solution. How do I handle it, do I even want it? Today, when she came to me and bring me some really nice gifts, I just told her, after while, how I feel about us and mostly about her. How I think that she's behaving like a devil to others and how she's going to end like her father (which she love). I told her that her father is just sucking her mothers energy and obviously don't love her anymore, but he's staying with her just because of money and because he don't have anyone else nearby. (He even bought a small house in Slovakia at the end of the world just so he don't have to live with her mother anymore and don't have to talk to people, because he hate others, he wants to be alone) Since I told her all of this she, at first started arguing, but not so much... after that she looked at me and told me that I'm right... that I'm totally right... and that she needs to go right now. She left after that, not in tears, but absolutely shocked. Hours past and she messaged me "Can you somehow help me with that?" I responded that ofcourse that I'm here for her, but It's up to her to do something with it and I can be only support for her. She said "Thank you..." and that she will do anything for it to change. And now... I'm feeling unsure if it's even possible. Will she change because of her, or because of me? She started to lose her best friends because of her behavior, just now... so it's really not a problem only between us. I have a strong hope that she will make it. Is it really such a dumb thought to have? Aren't I'm the devil too? I feel like I have much stronger boundaries then before and I'm defending them, fully. If you read it till there, Thank you

Also... yes, I see the devil in her and in me. I think I'm kinda conscious about what I do and what I don't...

It's more then 2 months since I brake-up with my ex. Well, to be more specific, she said it first. I'm sure that you can find history of it at my profile if you're interested (older topics). But why m I here again looking for tips, thoughts and ideas? Since that time we met each other just few times, didn't talk too much. But few days back we had our graduation ceremony at university. There we had 5-10 mins to talk to each other before the ceremony start. It was cool, we were both kinda unsure at the start, but it lastonly few sec and we started talking like a good friends again. After ceremony she came to me and ask me if I have time for a cup of tea or something... I told her taht I don't, because we're going with my family to lunch, but atthe afternoon I should be back in the city again and I don't have a problem to go with her and talk. She told me that she's going to work after 15:00 so forget it, maybe later then, bye, bye... (It's kinda important to say, that the night before I was with another girl, which I'm dating right now. We were in my room having "fun" but not sex really) That day after graduation I had some work in the city and I should done it early, but something messed up and i ended at 19:30. I called the girl that I'm dating if she still have some time, she didn't sound like she really have. She wanted to see me, but I could recognize that it's complication for her. So I said "ok, I'l see you next dayor something"... I went to my car, started engine and in that moment I felt strong feeling that told me "Visit her at work, she invited you 3 times already and you always had something to do, go to her now". (This feeling was about my ex ofcourse) So I went to the place where she used to work (I didn't know if she's still work there). It's small artistic cafe,not so popular (because nobody knows it exist, but extremely nice, calm and clean place). She was there and alone. The moment she saw me, she started smiling and shaking at the same time. I sat down and ask her for a tea and toast with a smile on my face. She was surprised the whole time and extremely glad that I came. We talked a bit and I discovered that she's still love me. At one moment she almost said it. But it wasn't sad orsomething, it was great, we were having a good time... I was there only for half hour and then left. 2 Days after that I was at my work, in sport bar with bowling in it. I'm working there as a bartender. She texted me if I wantto meet her this day at "her" cafe again, but today it's closed, so we would be alone. (That text for me was like "Do you want to have sex with me?") So I responded that I'm at work today and I'm going to be there till midnight. She asked wheredo I work? I told her the name of bar. She didn't text back, but ofcourse, after 1 hour she came through the front door to the bar. She stayed for another hour standing next to the bar just so she could talk to me. And there, there my friends, I started to be more curious. Even that I knew where this will go... She asked if she can see me another time. I instantly told her "how about next day? I have time till 17", she agreed even though she couldn't believe it. After my work I checked my phone and there was message from her "Here, there's your ticket" - she bought be a train ticket from my home to the city for a next day just to "make sure" that I'm coming... I did not respond. Next day morning she messaged me if I did not changed my mind? I responded "Do you need some sort of confirmation that I'm coming?" We met at trainstation, went for a lunch, had few drinks, talk... I gave her kinda hard time. Her self-confidence were much bigger then it was when we brake-up, so she were even more dominating then before... but not to me, to me, she was scared and careful. She told me that because of me she discovered this power of dominance in her and that she's kinda playing with it right now, that she want's to know where's the limit of it. She's using it to "play" with other people. She also told me that she feel like I brake-up with her and not her with me - and with this I agree, I couldnt stand her behavior anymore. She would want me back. It was obvious that we both want to talk about it more deeply, but for it we needed private. So at first we went to "my" bar, but here was friends of the owner so we went fora plan B - artistic cafe which was that day closed too. There we went to the gallery with a bunch of drinks. It was emotional and fun. After a while she join me at the couch and we started to talk even more deeply. She said that she still love me, but that she know that we can't be together untill she do something about herself. I said that we both know it, then I took her by the hand and told her about the girl that I'm dating right now. She started to cry, saying things like "ofcourse... ofcourse, what else you could do... i know... you're awesome perso..., ofcourse there is another girl already..." we cuddle a bit. Then went to our sides of couch and talk about us more. She told me about that guy that she loved too, when we were together - she don't love him anymore, thanks to me she discovered that she can love only me... It wont take long and I knew it's coming... And I'm not going to lie, I went for it. I went for a kiss and it started... How much I love having sex with her. We fucked, heh, for about 2 hours at that couch till we both needed to go. It was 16:40 and we both needed to be at 17 somewhere else. So we stoped... but just because of it... We went out, we looked each toher straight into the eyes and wehugged each other strongly. That was 2 days ago. The same day at night I was with that girl I'm dating. We were alone at "my" bar at the couch too and I told her about "my day"... I knew she will understand and she did. I closed the doors to her because of it, (in terms of some unshakable relationship) but we are still having fun with each other, text each other and todaywe are going to the cinema. I'm having awesome life right now and it's only because I'm doing and saying what I truly feel. And yes, I truly feel deep connection to my ex. She's going abroad in 2 moths for another 6 months, so there's definitely no space for something more... And also, there's the girl that I'm dating and a lot more... I kinda don't know what to do with that Thank you so much <3

Do you guys think that your name is somehow lead you into some form of behavior? And I'm talking about overall behavior or concrete aspects of it, not some specific situations. Maybe it's just stupid idea, but I don't know any: Monika - that isn't materialistic, kinda shallow, live life like "everyone else" Klára - that isn't crazy, rough and have sharp opinions (kinda radical) Kamila - that isn't mysterious, likes to talk about deep stuff And so on... for these 3 names I do know atleast 3 girls with that name. I know it's nothing in terms of some social theories, but still. It's not hard for me to gues a name of a girl/guy when I get to know her/him. Opinions?

@milii Why not? If I have 3 apples, but one of them is rotten so I will eat only 2 of them, don't I still have 3 apples? And yes, if I wanted to and treat her well, then she will be "mine" forever. But I don't... I just don't find her attractive

@Angelite So I'm not alone... Yeah, I agree. Those names i mentioned are Slavic or comes from ancient Greek, they have their reasons too. For example my name Lubomír means "Person who love peace" or just "peaceful" and I do find myself in it. I'm really calm type, even when I'm happy I don't throw away so much energy. I'm also extremely tolerant which can lead into future problems. @Hansu Yeah, exactly. I'm sure there is psychological and social explanation for it. But I also think it can be even on spiritual level.

@milii So you are telling me to date broken girl in which I don't have any sexual interest? You might be on a whole new spiritual level to me, or far below Can you explain it to me? Thanks

Ok, so, yesterday came out few different things. I have now 2-3 womens chasing me. It's 2-3 because the last one is my ex. We saw each other for a while and said Hi, but did not talk. She gave me that warm smile and after like 1 hour she messaged me "You don't want to go for a tea with me, do you?" I repplied that I'm busy (and I'm really m), but we can go at Wednesday around 13:00... She replayed "Oh, ok, nevermind then" - I don't care about it, I would go there as a friend. Like we were before. The other girl I met at one party. She study at my university too and she's kinda crazy. It's the type of girl that with no barriers tells you "ohh, shut up you dumbass, you talking like a retard with those words" :D....(I sometimes do use english words in my czech sentences)... This girl started chasing me mainly yesterday, she found me on facebook and started to message me in flirting ways. She's something new, and it seems to me that I like her. The last one is a girl that I met at one of my social events. And she's the main reason why I'm writting this. I think that she puts me on a pedestial, but I don't find her attractive. That would be simple if she wouldnt told me that she's having some emotional problems and right now she don't have any friends. It's because her exboyfriend cheated on her with her best friend. So she's alone, looking for some human contact. She invited me for a date and I agreed, but it's scheduled for a week from now. I do want to "help her" to not feel so alone, but I also don't want her to think that there's something more then just friendly conversation. Any ideas? After all, I'm doing great Thanks!

@DrewNows Nice. i watched the video and that point about "not missing a person but the nice things he did" is awesome, thx

@Anna1 Hehe @DrewNows Thank you. I already did that (list of things I liked about her and those I didn't), but will check that video for sure ?

@Devi Shanti Thanks! As you said, good points are already there. And to be more specific, I'm already doing them. But sometimes it's really warm to hear that you guys have the same opinion about these things. And yes, it's gonna take a while to heal :), thank you.

@Nicachi Thank you <3 Yeah, I think the same way about it and yes I often think about those toxic things about her, after that I do laugh about it (how dumb and stupid that was from her to behave that way and so on...) @Leo Gura Thx Leo! Yep, I took a position like that. I met few interesting girls, went on a date with one yesterday, went on partyes and did well with getting girls attention/flirting. I'm even an organizer of social events at my university, which also helps a lot

@Justinsantos98 I don't get it. Ofcourse that she can tell her BF about you staring at her and ofcourse that he can look at you. What's not clear here??? I was expecting something more like „Random guy just came to me and punched me in the face”

@Bryanbrax I feel like you did it just because you thought that's the right way to do that. I remember the same feeling when I lost my virginity. I was with a really pretty girl, but I didn't really like her since that time (we were together like month), because I already found, that she isn't for me, she wasnt funny, interesting, anything at all, just pretty. But I just wanted to lose my virginity. When the time came (She really didnt want to rush it) I wasnt sure if I want to do that. It was grose, but the hell man, I went for it (she wants it that night). It wasnt pleasant for me at all, I just didn't feel it. It took like 2-3 mins. She wants it the night after it again, but I was just dissapointed in me and did not do it. I broke-up with her day after that. Since then I had amazing sex with girls I really liked. I did things I never thought I could do and I enjoyed it. So if there's something from me, it's "Don't do that if u're not happy with doing that, it's pointless, let those things for a women you really want to fuck"

You can't really help her from her problems bro. The only thing you can do is to support her. And when she isnt helping yourself, guess what you're going to support You're gonna only struggle with her. There's a chance, it's small, but it is there... when you brake-up with her, maybe she will get your words and will try to get better on her own, but maybe not. Good luck

@universe Awesome video from Leo. And I'm happy even more since I was already doing that technique in my life ... Things are looking great again. I feel happy. And what I really feel is that I'm suddenly much more self-confident. So this funny game called Life may continue! Hope is not just some sort of phase ... I need to be still aware

A little background to us: I'm 24/ She's 23 We are together (having sex, and share really deep intimacy) for 5 months now We consider ourselfs as stage yellow persons Both of us and I can tell it for sure, are in love with each other. It's the most pure thing I ever experienced (Like on Ayahuasca :)) And last important thing: We were friends before and I had a crush on her. But I was needy, not self-confident, not independent and so on. But I was working on it for 3 years and here we are... And I still do... that's why I'm here We also don't see each other often. Sometimes for few days, sometimes for month. So, my topic is about feelings she told me yesterday. She told me, that she's having trouble with giving her body just to me. And that she wants to know, if I would be mad at her, if she experience a one night stand from time to time - just for fun. What's also worth to mention is her... """ex-boyfriend""". She were "with" him 2 years before I started being with her - they saw each other like 8-10 times per year. As soon as we started to having sex, she told me about him when we were together. Since then, she was with him only 1 time and without sex, because she *quote* "Couldn't do that to me". She love him too and I was cool with it, because I knew that I'm The One for her right now. I told her that I want to meet him in person, but she told me that he don't know about us and that she won't told him, because he wouldn't be able to take it. She also told me, that she was sure, that he's the one - even at our "start" she told me, that one day, we will end this and she will move to him. Since then a lot things changed... we are having the most amazing sex on this planet and do share everything. We are as open as we can be to each other right now She gave me so much and She also receiving so much from me. We do love it. So what is my problem then? The problem is, that I'm not sure with this (and yea, I already told it to her). The reason isn't one night stands, but I feel kinda insecure with this. Let's say, that I'm not that kind of a guy who have a lot of experiences with short, quick flirting and getting girls for one night. I didn't have a single women like that (in terms of sex). Partly because of my "high demands" (like inteligence) and also because I just don't have a lot of chances for that - I do not look for them. But she? Meeen, she's flirting with like everyone :D, she's having fun and I get it. She is really open to conversations with random people, so, she's getting suggestions from men like all the time. She isnt that type of girl who will sleep with everyone, definitely not. But sometimes, it'sthe consequences... like last time, she told me about a guy from boat when she was sunbathing completely naked and he came, completely naked to, making suggestions... and for one moment she really wanted it. (she told me) When I last time saw her personaly, we had amazing, long sex and during it she told me that she wants to be only mine, that she won't be able to have sex with other guys, because I'm The One and that she wants to have kids with me, etc etc.... So that is why I'm so unsure about this. At one hand it's my personal problems from the past (low self-confidence) at which i still working on, so I feel a small feeling of a chance to lost her with another men. And at the other hand it's her constantly switching from one position to another, not knowing what she actually wants. But that's just womens? Right? She's coming in few days to me and we said that we will discuss it in person ofcourse. But in text messages we ended at "Yes, let's not limit our physical experiences just to ourselfs". So... I'm thinking, is it bad for me to let her do her things, let her to be free, but keep my sexual life as I did till now? It feels to me right, to accept her feelings and let her to have not only one night stands, but maybe even "regular" relationships? She told me, that this thing is not about me and that she just want me to know it, it's not like she's asking me for permission, she needs it, she said... But I kinda feel it's "my thing" too. Your opinions? Thank you...

@flowboy @bejapuskas Thank you! To this... I thought about it for the moment. And I know why is it good to do that. But at the same time I think it's some kind of disrespect to her and to the times we were together, happy. It's few things... rubber band, golden egg on a string (something like easter egg), candy and the most important is a ring which she gave me when I was in hospital few months ago and she came everyday to visit me. But is it really? Maybe it's just few things that keeps constant connection between us > keep me locked to her. I literally don't know. Today I finaly started to feel good. I went to the gym, make some work at my business, went to the library and borrow A Brief History of Everything by Ken Wilber. Also, she messaged me, asking for help in terms of one concrete study program at the university. I helped her, it was about to tell her which person is responsible for the thing she want... But after that I just couldn't resist and asked her how's she doing? I immediately regret my decision and when she was writing a respond I send her "you know what, let it for another time", "bye". Right now I turned off everything on my whatsapp - which is the only thing she have as a direct connection to me. When I'm reading what I'm trying to say here, I think you're right @flowboy . But still, I let my morning "me" to decide

@bejapuskas Will do. Good point. Thanks,

@bejapuskas true Well, I guess that I'm not gonna type anything for a while again. I'm full of emotions right now, unstable. I hided all the things that remind her to me. It's funny how my ego/brain/oldme/whatever think about her. For example, the day after our brake-up, she asked me if she can took one of my Shirts (one with logos of my business). "Do you even wear this?" "Yes, you can take it..." It' funny how my mind is trying to make something more out of it then it Is... Well, this shit is hard.

@Odysseus I'm not blaming her. It's 50/50. In my last post I'm just talking about her more, because I feel like I talked about my problems enough. I do have boundaries, but not strong enough for her, I didn't have problems with it's strength in other relationships. Now I need to rebuild them, make a new ones and don't abandon them like I did. @ajasatya Thanks!

@bejapuskas Yes, exactly And about going back together. I'm not saying it will hapen and yes I do know that most people don't recommend it. But I believe that we are not like most people... haha - I know that.

We break-up The reason for it is that she's too dominant. Like extremely dominant. I didn't see that before, now I do. We both do. Because of her unhealthy dominance she slowly put my self-confidence into trash bin. That made her to not see me as a man that she want and I started to suffer under her pressure. She destroyed every single relationship that she had by this... So, now we are on our personal paths. I need to change some shit (move away from my mother etc.) and she needs to stop running from her past and deal with various evil things she did. She's full of fear, she's scared of her past, of future, of death. That's also the reason why she's so dominant. We spend wonderful night talking about this. So manny tears, so manny smiles, so manny pure emotions. (we took MDMA for that night) If she do what she need to do, then we can get back together. Now it's disfunctional. Only thing that is functional is our sexual life, here I'm dominant and she have no power, but when we get out of this state, she's scared of life -> Dominant, manipulative, selfish... and she can't control it... not yet. It's 2 days now, she send me voice message where she's reading from her diary. It's about all the things that she need to fix, close, face it. She's grateful for me and I'm grateful for her. Maybe... maybe some day in the future... but maybe not. Let's start new episode of my life and seek for someone else Thanks,