Viking

Try taking a free online course in programming and see if you like it. Who knows, maybe along with making money you will enjoy it.

It's a long discussed concept and I'm well aware if it but as a man it's difficult to wrap my head around it. If a negative emotion occurs, women want to share it, yet men want to solve it. Ultimately a balanced human should dabble in both sides, but I can understand at the core why do some women choose only the former - only sharing. Neglecting the solution entirely to their problems and only share about it, which leads to temporary relief, but since the problem hasn't been solved it keeps triggering them emotionally lowering their quality of life. Is it only when they're unconscious? And if they would be aware of the situation they would try to solve it? Btw I'm aware men also do this, but statistically less. Just a generalization. The point of the post is that i barely do it so I'm trying to understand the other side no matter its gender. My way of coping with negative emotions is sometimes addictive behavior but usually for matters which cannot be solved in the short or even medium term

Interesting. So you're saying by sharing, women express their yin energy? Their passive energy?

Interesting point, it may be true that my question asking is a way to express that energy. So in continuation of this energy expression lol - why do men then express emotions with solution oriented expression of emotion yet women with just stopping at the problem and sharing only it?

@NoSelfSelf i am a very emotionally supportive person. The reason i ask these questions is to provide better emotional support by understanding women better. Regarding what you said, it a bit contradicts the problem i talked about, how are women everchanging if they keep having the same issues because they don't solve them? Gets them rather stuck and not changing.

I think this is an important turning point - the pressure shifted from Israel to Hamas to end the war. Is it coincidental that this shift happens after the elections? Maybe now when biden is bound less by his voters he says what he really thinks?

sure, then the point is about the administration, the people who tell him what to do

I noticed i posted it in the wrong place, meant to post this in the politics forum

Notice that when you say "If pleasure is truly the only thing that makes life worth living, then life starts to feel less significant or meaningful" You're not in the pleasure itself but *thinking* about pleasure. The lack of meaning lies in your perspective. Seeing the cup half empty. It technically can be true that humans are guided by pleasure, but you can also see it as being greatful that you can experience pleasure. Aren't we fortunate to be alive and be able to experience life? The issue is that you're trying to arrive at the "truth". But your emotions and the feeling of "meaning" don't care about truth. They care about the way you present the truth to yourself. Our emotions don't respond well to "objective" thoughts. And there is no such thing as an "objective" way to look at the world. That leaves us with the absolute freedom to choose how we see life, and since we have this radical freedom, we can choose to find the positive perspective which builds us. That said, it's not an easy thing to do and takes time and awareness of the negative perspective you choose to see things. To catch yourself overthinking and divert your attention to something else. Instead of thinking "life is less meaningful because life is only about pleasure", think "isn't it nice how i enjoyed seeing friends today?" If you don't manage to find those positive things you probably need to objectively improve your life, have relationships, life purpose, etc...

Taken from the official updated charter of Hamas, stating its objectives, link to it: https://www.middleeasteye.net/news/hamas-2017-document-full "Palestine symbolises the resistance that shall continue until liberation is accomplished, until the return is fulfilled and until a fully sovereign state is established with Jerusalem as its capital." "Palestine, which extends from the River Jordan in the east to the Mediterranean in the west and from Ras al-Naqurah in the north to Umm al-Rashrash in the south, is an integral territorial unit." If Hamas said they'll lay down arms they lied. If Hezbollah said they'll stop attacking Israel they lied. To think that it will be more difficult for Iran to recruit palestinians to fight for them if they had a state is naïve at best. If anything, it will most likely once they tasted success raise their motivation to take all of the land from the river to the sea, no matter if they have something to lose or not. None of them will rest until the entirety of Israel is palestine. They state this over and over again and they act on it. Anything else is lies. This is ideology. Not practicality. That's how it is in the middle east. Israel will be under an enormous threat given a palestinian state.

If I understand what you're saying, you're saying that a two state solution will bring peace. Palestine will be a state and have freedom, and Israel will be a state and be secure. The assumption here is that Iran does what it does to liberate the palestinian people, but the reality is they don't care about the palestinians. They see themselves as the higher race of muslims, way above the palestinians and all the rest. Proof of that is that they never do anything directly for the palestinians but only through their proxies - Hamas, Hezbollah and the Houthis. All at the cost of palestinian lives. They only attack if they themselves get attacked. Iran wants to have power over the middle east and Israel stands in their way. There is absolutely no chance that hostility towards Israel would stop if Palestine has a state. Regarding the comparison to the UK and the US - for Israel it's not a matter of "just in case" as you said. The UK and the US are superpowers which could handle any revenge or retaliation. Israel doesn't have the luxury those countries had. Israel is a very small country geographically speaking, and 7th Oct proved that. If Israel would give the palestinians a state, Iran would destroy Israel in the following decade or cause severe losses and damage. What happened in the towns surrounding the Gaza strip, would happen in central cities in Israel like Tel Aviv with much higher casualties. I understand that from the palestinian perspective it doesn't seem that bad for what they have suffered and are still suffering, but I'm just explaining why the ethical thing for Israel is not go for a two state solution. Ethically speaking, self preservation is above anything else. That's why practically I think the solution which would be best both for Israel and the Palestinians is the handling of Iran first and foremost, and the slow investing in the quality of life of the palestinians, still under the Israeli defense suprevision.

Two states is an existential threat to israel given the current leadership of Iran. If Palestine would have its own military Israel would be done for. With Iran-funded Hezbollah, the north of Israel is in shambles, so since the palestinian lands are at the center of Israel, the current state of Israel's north could basically be all of Israel. Also, the "destruction of Israel" mindset of the majority the arabic population won't go away any time soon. Two state solution wouldn't fix it. The only thing now which would fix that mindset is the destruction of the state of Israel. The most pragmatic solution right now is to aim for as high quality of life in the occupied lands as possible while maintaining the security of Israel. If Iran will be dealt with, the threat to Israel will diminish greatly and the quality of life of palestinians would rise quite fast.

i think there's difference between non people pleasing and antisocial behavior. you could try to make your intentions heared and by this way avoid conflict. for example, instead of not making eye contact when someone approaches you and you work, you could try saying "sorry i really have to finish this, can we talk later?". that would make people understand you and dislike you less. if they wont leave you alone or wont listen, then they are truly exhibiting toxic behavior and i would either be upfront about it and tell them that you dont like that they dont let you work, or if that doesnt work change your job.

personally i found the more socialization i had the more opportunity for growth and self reflection i got because people find the bullshit in you much better than you can yourself also people expose you to stuff outside of your bubble, especially people who are different than you are one way to grow is to do it alone but another way which is more practical in my eyes is doing it through other people as external catalysts for me at my level of consciousness lack of socialization is what kept me from growing and stuck in a rut

when I stop thinking, there is that space awareness which is basically nothing. what is the difference between that and enlightenment? does that sense of spaciousness change with practice ? and how so?

I dont want to be a dabbler. i want to choose something and master it, but im stuck with so many options because im interested in so many things and potentially good (relatively, since i didn't put enough effort) at so many things. maybe it's because of my adhd but i start doing something and then it's very interesting but then i go do another thing and it's interesting as well. i just cant settle on one thing because i cant stand the thought of not doing other things. also i ended up dabbling in so many things that things started to bore me because i wasnt very good at one specific thing. what do i do? feel so all over the place

actually that's a very interesting idea, i sort of got excited i thought about maybe sharing my thoughts on facebook or instagram. i saw people do that. picking a particular topic and writing about it. people might be interested in it. i also love a lot giving advice to people so it sort of fits, but people usually dont want to listen to me haha because it might ruin their worldview or it makes them feel bad about them not working on their life

that's the thing, is there really anything that can be done with thinking? haha just by saying "done" it implies "to do" something. doing something isnt thinking about something. do people make careers out of thinking?

maybe it's tricky for me because the thing i do easiest is thinking. i think about everything and have a computer notebook where i have years of writing about my thoughts. thing is i dont think about particular topics, i think about everything, and it's often problem solving oriented thinking. whether it's my relationships, philosophy, life purpose, insights about life.. there is no one thing i think about.

@mandyjw i dont think i focus too much on lack, i feel it's more like i cant enjoy my hobbies and feel unease. what i usually do is try to enjoy things anyway, but i feel too 'hungry for love' to be able to enjoy it fully and in a relaxed way. @kag101 of course i have more sources of fulfillment, i enjoy friends' company sometimes, i watch youtube videos, play chess, study programming.. thing is, i dont enjoy doing these things too much when i want her love too much. i can enjoy somewhat, but i just feel uneasy as if really hungry and cant focus. i do work and my work is very stressful for me at times. there is some room for fulfillment but usually im too stressed to appreciate it.

What i mean here by a feeling of emptiness is a state of unease in which I need to get something to fill it. If im not aware enough, I'll try to fill it with food or masturbation, youtube.. and I noticed what truly fills it is when im with my girlfriend (if we manage to connect). When im with her i feel like I dont need anything. I'm with her for more than 9 months so you cant really say it's the honeymoon phase anymore. If I spend too much time with her though, I have a burning desire to do something else, like make a project, read, study, etc. so i guess after a while my need is satisfied and if you speak in terms of maslow's hierarchy, I get to the next stages after my love and belonging needs are satisfied. Problem is, is that we meet only twice a week, and while i know it's relatively often it's still hard and I want to figure out how to cope or to know what im doing wrong. When it's only been a day after we meet i might be great, but when it's more than that I start to feel the emptiness feeling and my motivation to study or progress in life wanes and the only thing I want is some food or to masturbate, while in reality i guess I just need to feel love. Is there a way to fill this emptiness without my girlfriend? Other people sometimes might but it's so rare that I manage to connect well with people. I wonder if I could do some meditation or something to not feel the emptiness. Or maybe the solution is to just learn to cope with the emptiness or try to deconstruct it somehow. im looking for the deepest possible solution but practical solutions are also welcome lol.

@mandyjw what im saying is what if loneliness and lack of love (not meeting girlfriend) is similar to the sensations of thirst and hunger but much more complex and subtle? if it's so, we might need love as we need to eat, and it's not only mistaken beliefs. im not saying mistaking beliefs arent harmful and some forms of emptiness are indeed formed out of thoughts, but if my need of love is what causes a biological lack like hunger is, how can i deal with this "hunger for love"? or is it even the case? can a man live without love?

@mandyjw I understand what you're saying, but thing is, do you also think that hunger and thirst are just caused by thoughts? that those emotions are caused by 'not being aligned with the truth of ourselves'? If not, what's the difference? According to maslow, hunger and love are both biological needs just on different levels.

how do i do something if i dont feel like it? i tried to create habits but i just dont manage to do the thing i need in the first place so the habit doesn't catch up. i feel this issue is very deep as practically everyone faces this.

i don't know exactly the situation because im not in your shoes so i cant say anything regarding the situation. what i can say is that you have all this anger and it seems you never shared with her any of it. if you tell her this seriously and she disregards it then that's a red flag, but maybe you share your feelings with her and you realize maybe she doesn't take all of this seriously and maybe you misunderstand the whole situation. you have to communicate. it seems like it could be that you built all of this in your head and you're angry because u misunderstood her. communicate, and try to understand her. if she doesn't care about your feelings, run.