Viking

hm okay. i guess i care more about the personality, if shes fat it usually correlates to mental issues, being lazy or irresponsible

what things?

so what i would do is stop self inquiry and restart it after a few months. But i think it depends on the level one is at, because at the same time it could kill one's "catching on fire" as shinzen young said. or maybe not, i dont know. i know im not at that level so it doesnt matter for me.

Recently ive stopped filling my mind with spirituality and self development. By that i mean i stopped using the forum, stopped watching spiritual videos, stopped reading books, stopped journaling, didn't stop meditating however. Counterintuitively, I noticed that my understanding of spirituality and self development has increased dramatically compared to to when i was studying this stuff. The reason for that I think is that i got out of the thinking patterns i was stuck in when studying spirituality and self development, so i was sensitive enough to look at life from different perspectives, so the knowledge i gained from studying integrated better. this is not like "Theory vs practice" that Leo has made a video on, the point of which was to study theoretical concepts and then practice them in daily life. here im talking about abandoning completely self development thinking patterns, during the "practice period" too.

nonduality is true science

it has been scientifically proven that when you force a smile you feel better.

bruh #onlyzehut

for the last few months ive been sleeping for around 10 hours a day, because i cant force myself to wake up. i dont want to wake up in the morning because sleeping is much better than living. my daily life is not suffering though, its just kinda lame. i dont have to wake up at 7am or 8am because my classes start at 10am or 12am. i wake up leaving just enough time to eat breakfast, sometimes i dont have time for that and then i need to buy food during the day. i want to meditate too but i dont manage to wake up early enough for that, every day i somehow manage to convince myself not to wake up. i also need to run in the morning for health and dont have time for that too. how do i make myself wake up?

would you say to start the theory videos from scratch too? or just the exercises?

i bought the course about a year and a half ago, but dropped it because it was too hard and time consuming. on the values alone ive spent a few weeks of daily contemplation. and they got out to be very messy and inaccurate. i will continue it once i have time (in a few months when ill finish the degree)

i guess youre right in some places. i do have some victim thinking due to past experiences, ill watch the video. but in some places the reasons i gave are more reasons why i dont want something rather than why i cant. like i could get a girlfriend probably, but it would take a lot of effort and time which i would rather invest in my studies.

ive done that plenty of times, but i guess not in a daily fashion. ill try, thanks. do you have any tips? i noticed its very hard for me because i got led to believe that happiness is about not wanting anything etc. also i basically just want good vibes, but i dont know what causes them. and all i really want right now is a girlfriend because i never had one, but its impossible due to men rich environment and lack of time. also i heared i should spend my 20s on my career and not women

drive i think is not something i could gain by insights or watching some motivational video. i think its something that builds over long years or months of action, which has to be directed towards something, but im way too young to know what to look for. also im a student so my only goal is to finish the degree (so im in a bubble)which im about to do, and then ill be able to find drive, when ill have more experience of whats possible. im afraid in the moment its not possible because as i said im in a bubble, with a very limited amount of people i can talk to, with whom i dont connect, because of age difference. edit: please correct me if you think anything is wrong

haha, i tried it, but i just stop the alarm and go back to bed. and i do have a routine, i just dont. overall i think the solution is to go to sleep earlier.

if i had any friends or interesting things to do i wouldnt sleep that much

but i sleep 10 hours

I interacted with a few people who told me that they heared thoughts that didnt feel like it was their thoughts, involuntary thoughts. they came off plants, objects, other people, etc. it usually happened during a psychedelic trip or after a trip and various meditations. One interpretation of it, is that one reaches high enough level of consciousness to "hear" objects, etc. This possibility is possible, but not probably in my opinion. The much more probable explanation is that the mind stopped identifying with certain thoughts, but thoughts involuntarily keep coming. In my opinion it's a brain malfunction as a result of doing things which are against its nature, like psychedelics and certain meditations. This becomes a problem, because in some sense, we can control the thoughts, in daily ordinary consciousness at least. I feel like I can stop thinking for a few seconds if I will to. Those thoughts are intrusive and are interrupting daily life, because they take much more attention than ordinary thoughts. Also those thoughts are often presenting ideas which are delusional. I wonder, if I had that problem as a result of taking psychedelics, as I see it as a common occurrence, how could i possible deal with that aside from letting them be and ignoring them? a person i talked to takes psychiatric drugs to calm these thoughts.

by nature i mean evolution. sure it's not accurate 100% but it explains a lot of things. it's not accidental that the brain is in the way it is right now. it's true that it has great elasticity, but that elasticity is limited in time. if too much change occurs in a too short period of time, it might damage it. also it's important what the status quo is, because you originate from that status quo, and if something radical happens to you, of course it would scare the shit out of you and you wont be able to handle it well.

I feel like music is a very powerful tool to deliver a message to people, to ease their pain, to give them insights, but i doubt my abilities. i dabble in music here and there, i have the so called "musical hearing", but its not extraordinary, i play the piano, but very poorly, not professionally, the same in guitar. im 20 years old and i feel like i lost my timeframe in order to be really great. being just average wont cut it, because average musicians get kicked the fuq out. i have to be freddy mercury/ed sheeran/viktor tsoi/metallica level or nothing. most people start playing music seriously at a very young age, and if you dont play from a very early age, you have low chances of success. your probability to be successful and to play well is decreased exponentially with age. also i dont know if my voice is any good. my range is pretty limited, but i havent trained it much, so i dont know. also my voice sounds ugly to me, and i have a weird accent. it is said that you have to take your strengths and build on them your life purpose, and my strengths are creativity, critical thinking and curiosity, its more leaning towards philosophy, science and (my major) physics i guess. maybe i could also utilize them in music but obviously "the talent" i dont posess. as a kid i was always fascinated by music and the piano and i felt like it was really special. now i obviously dont feel that way but people say that to find your way you need to look back to your childhood. what do you think?

*im not talking about myself, im talking generally I am talking specifically about loneliness, lack of interaction with people. no friends, no girlfriend. Most people get depressed, because it's in our genes to be social. can one really go beyond those needs? and if he can, how the fuck can he do that? I think it's like eating or getting sunlight, you can't just stop eating, the same way, you cant just stop having social interactions and "get over it". That is only true i guess if one still believes he's an ego, if the ego fades, i guess loneliness cant be. But as long as I believe I am an ego, I WILL experience loneliness definitely, if im not exposed to social connection for long periods of time. edit: actually, maybe if the ego fades the body could potentially still experience loneliness, is that true? I think it could be the case. I feel energetic pain when i lack human interaction, it's not just mental.

obviously, i have to know who they are, etc. but there is also new information coming in which is not of my mind, and thats what counts.

both what i meant there that the mind doesnt trigger the loneliness. the loneliness changes the state of mind

what's present in awareness i meant thoughts, feelings, judgements. i meant it's not like "i" feel them, but they're just present

what do you mean?

the mind opposes to this activity of mind because it desires for the reality to be the best it could be. it wants to figure out how it can be the best off with least delusion and closest to truth. edit: that's also not the problem, the problem is, is there a state of mind in which im not interacting with people, but the state of mind is positive.