Viking

1. even if i do something I enjoy, after some time ill get tired of it and drop it. 2. how do i learn to enjoy what I do? whenever I do something, I feel this compulsion to stop whatever im doing and do something else, distract myself, i feel as though its not worthy enough, whatever im doing, to spend my time on. I do get excited sometimes to do a certain thing, i start doing it, and the desire to stop arises. The thing is it happens with everything i do, even things i "enjoy". It's exactly like during meditation (for me only when the meditation exceeds 20 minutes) you want to get up and stop the meditation, that sanskara arises again and again but it never goes away. i try to accept it but it keeps coming, and its force doesn't diminish.

lol the goal of meditating hours on end isn't happiness

obviously, but will it improve my discipline?

i meant physical activity, sorry

like physical exercise? i go to the gym is painting or playing the piano considered a mental or a physical exercise to you?

even if i find a certain purpose or a mission, i almost immediately discard it, because it doesnt matter whether i achieve that or not, it feels pointless, it wont matter in 12417291827 years etc. etc. so why should i work and suffer so much to achieve it? after i realize that even if i had a desire to pursue something it disappears. i feel more and more like life purpose is a hoax. theres not really a thing that i should be striving towards. Maybe i would settle for mastery, do something which I just have fun doing, but life purpose i feel is total crap. The idea that theres a thing i should achieve is crap. But still, just settling for mastery, only doing stuff I like feels empty and meaningless, I need somewhere to aim at with that stuff, but then again theres nothing worthwhile to aim at (except survival i guess, but is survival even worth it if like is meaningless crap?). im stuck in loops.

yes it seemed to me like it was, but you people convinced me otherwise. yeah

ok i watched that video and i think youre right, i just dont have any reference experiences so i just gotta wait with LP i had that when i was younger but now nothing blows my mind. idk how to find these things

i dont understand how that statement connects to what i said then I dont understand the quote. in order to live in modern society I have to make plans and goals, and then to execute them. The execution is the "path" and I agree that the path is more important than the goals themselves, but I can't have a path without setting goals for myself. Being a hippie that does whatever comes to mind in the moment just leads to suffering, I know because I observed people like that. That's a powerful sentence for me, thank you, I've been doing a lot of stuff which didn't make sense to me, trusting it will lead me somewhere but it never did.

the first one im working on daily, the girlfriend thing i tried for a couple months now, still no result but came somewhat close a few times. the third thing ill start in a few months so i cant do anything about it right now.

i have things i do care about, like i wrote just above your comment

ok, now i understand a little better, so apparently some books and courses are just not for my level yet? like with the life purpose course, i dropped it for the reasons discussed here, couldnt find anything i cared about, the top 10 values i found felt inauthentic. 1. working on my sides that need therapy and knowing myself, i journal daily for that 2. finding a girlfriend 3. ill be starting a new job soon, so i want to grow in it. im afraid that ill start to be lazy and not do my best like it happened during my degree.

though there's no path without a destination, right?

But theres the whole problem!! i want to fulfill my basic needs but in order to fulfill them i need to have them already fulfilled! what i mean, is in order to find a girlfriend i need to have a purpose in my life, as it was said in the book "the way of the superior man". but in order to care about purpose i need to already have my needs met, including belonging. ????????? in order to get financial freedom i need to find my life purpose, where ill want to devote all my time into, but in order to care that much i have to have my needs met, be already financially free. ?????,?? whats your definition of the word "enjoy"? for me its to be happy in the moment, in direct contradiction to what u just said.

maybe it's not the time at which something occurs, but maybe i just cant find something that i care enough about. i dont care about people killing each other, i dont care about people starving to death, i dont care about global warming, i dont care about humans surviving or becoming an advanced high consciousness civilization, i dont care about people living better lives, i wish I could, really, but i just dont, maybe im not mature enough and havent experienced enough of the world.

If you assume "space" you assume materialism, so I will give you an answer based on science. Usually when you hear sounds it comes from some location, so when you hear your thoughts you also assume they come from somewhere, which is a reasonable assumption to make, when all other sounds come from somewhere, but it's false. When sound hits your ears, the nerves in your ear take that sounds and take it to your brain, where the sound is analyzed and then you experience it. When you think, your brain makes those sounds up inside of itself. (of course you can distinguish between external and internal sounds, unless you have schizophrenia) therefore others' thoughts are not located anywhere, but are just created by their brain, so only they hear them (exactly like visual imagination, same thing but with vision). now, you might ask, "how what my brain creates comes into my awareness, wheres the connection?". That's called the mind body problem, and it is not resolved by science. it is resolved by spirituality, which says that there is only mind, "the brain doesnt exist" etc.

yes of course, but it also heavily depends on the way you say it and in which context. In the situation that OP described as far as I understand it, it was very unattractive. Telling a girl that you like her after she started ignoring you is not understanding women at all.

can you point to a certain youtube video that you liked a lot? i read some of "the way of the superior man" actually, but didnt feel like it helped me too much, mostly because he talks more for being IN a relationship and not how to get one as a beginner. like he presupposes im a pickup god

i think you just dont understand women. I think you take the authenticity too far, like an ideology that you have to follow all the time. sometimes you can be inauthentic too, especially at the start with a woman. dont believe people telling you that you need to be authentic if you dont see it working in your own life. like you shouldn't say to a random person on the street that you just farted. use your brain. life is balance, not one thing. but mostly i think you just dont understand women, lack the social context, basically lack experience with women. 2 things: read books like "the way of the superior man", "models" by mark manson. also youtube channels like "RSD", "coachredpill"- i dont agree with a lot of things there but some of the stuff was helpful. keep getting experience, as long as you reflect on your experiences and see what went wrong and learning for the next time you're doing fine. p.s. example for why you dont understand women- of course she wouldnt answer to you after you said to her you liked her or whatever, thats so unattractive to a woman. think from her perspective, if id be her i would totally ignore you also. p.s.s. i also cried a lot and felt sad after it didnt work out with women, express your feelings whatever they are (privately)

i think freedom is the sacrifice you have to do in order to have a deep connection with someone. as with children, you have to sacrifice your own time for the kids. i see this trend with women lately wanting "freedom" more than a relationship, family and kids. i think its perfectly fine when young, but as the woman ages, i find from experience, they get bitter and unfulfilled with life. i think the desire for too much freedom is toxic sometimes and stems from previous failed relationships, in other words, trauma, which they keep with them and cant let go of. if all previous relationships failed doesnt mean that the next one will fail too. youre free to experiment obviously and do whatever u want, its youre life lol, but keep in mind that your biological clock is ticking. haha im sorry if u didnt ask and dont want to hear this advice but couldnt help myself because i see it too often. p.s. another observation is that this mentality often comes with spiritually minded women especially, because they think they can be happy abandoning their biological needs, (like having children) forgetting theyre human and its like they want to be something above human, which usually stems from self esteem issues.

Hi Ella, welcome to the forum I think you will get more responses if you create a whole new topic rather than asking it here, but if you already asked I can share my opinion. open for what do you mean? and what do you mean by challenges? why should there be challenges if you had enlightenment glimpses? have you perhaps had glimpses on psychedelics? if that's the case, it's not about enlightenment but your difficulty reintegrating back to reality after a psychedelic trip, which I would advise visit a psychologist for.

can you point to specific videos? I know there's this whole playlist, but any videos specifically? yeah i downloaded it and starting to get into it a little

in the retreat i went to, a goenka one, we were able to talk with the teacher during the noon and before sleep to ask questions. i dont know how it is in other countries. and also for me there was a whole day at the end of the retreat where people could share their experiences

In his blog post "Tapping Into Collective Consciousness", Leo said that he (im paraphrasing) "got inside every fetus and blessed all of them". I'm not discussing whether that's true or not, I just want to discuss his justification for that experience not being just his imagination, but reality. The justification was, as I understood it, is that there is no difference between imagination and reality. Reality is imagined by "God", therefore everything is as real as it is imaginary. I never experienced god and didn't have any glimpses, but that justification, from my perspective right now, seems a bit off. That might be because I only understand this stuff intellectually, but hear me out: Even if everything is Imaginary, isn't it possible that some stuff is more imaginary and other stuff is less imaginary? What I mean by that is, let's say that our "objective world" with people and stuff is imaginary, as well as a penguin with a huge human dick which I'm imagining right this second. From god's point of view (I guess), both of those things are imaginary, BUT, the penguin is in a sense more imaginary than the "objective world", because it's completely up to me to imagine it as I want it to, yet the "objective world" i can't just as easily manipulate. The point is that I propose that there are things which are more imaginary than others. There are degrees to imagination, but all is still ultimately imaginary. With that in mind, let's take Leo's justification for the reality of the stuff that he witnessed. As I see it, what he witnessed, even though it is imaginary, and the objective world is imaginary, they could be different orders of imagination, therefore they maybe can't interact with each other. I'm not undermining Leo, it's possible that I just don't understand stuff, but from my materialist paradigm perspective Leo could be either: woke as fuck, or that the drugs changed his brain chemistry and internal logic so much that he started to have an extremely lucid imagination (higher order imagination). He probably realized that this might be the case, as he is insanely self reflective and truth driven, but that's the problem where we get to the stuff that can't be proven by science or logic, we simply don't know. That just makes me more afraid of psychedelic drugs and hesitant to ever try them again, as they just might wire my brain in a way which wouldn't get me closer to truth.

good post, though 2 points: from my experience most people who go there never meditated before, so what theyre actually doing there is learning to meditate. its kinda an introduction to meditation which they will do in daily life. i met a few people who really liked anapana and i think they stuck with it in daily life. vipassana for me i feel is not about the achievement of high consciousness states, but rather an environment to clear my mind of daily distractions and let emotional trauma come to the surface. i cried a ton during my first vipassana retreat. that might not be for everyone though in the article they say that silent retreats are bad. i think the opposite, if retreats are not silent all u will think about during meditation is about your conversations. it will be harder to meditate