Viking

IMO you have 2 options: 1. more meditation until the meditative state stays without meditation. that means strong determination sitting, remember that the worse the sitting, the more results. - this way works if you're more devoted 2. 24/7 mindfulness, as @Shin mentioned- in case you dont have enough time that you're willing to spend meditating.

or is it completely unnecessary and psychedelics should be left for spiritual purposes?

Though we dont have the illusion of control while watching a movie

In other words, should one just go around his life and one day he may stumble upon someone or should one deliberately try to get a girlfriend? I feel like a relationship should arise naturally, but at the same time the chance of that happening is very small. Most of the day I study (going to lectures, doing homework) and in my free time (about 2 hours a day are free of studying) I do self development stuff (reading, watching videos, contemplating), so to get more free time I have to sacrifice self development. One of my biggest fears is wasting time, and I feel like if I dont do self development or study my time is wasted, so I never go to places where I might meet girls, ever. I also dont find interest in these kind of places. I am most of the time alone and ok with it, im not lonely, but I wont lie to myself, I do have a certain desire to have a girlfriend. I think my course of action should be just continuing what I do, what are your thoughts on it?

@Girzo @WaveInTheOcean I discovered during this post that I have no desire for a girlfriend really, but I have the desire to feel love. By aiming to have a girlfriend im missing the point. I believe that if I get a girlfriend from an active pursuit I wont feel that love, because love I think cant be forced. Aiming for a relationship would be counterproductive because it's not the relationship that I want, I want the love, and the love comes spontaneously.

conor mcgregor is that you? lol jk. be mindful of this monkey mind and continue practicing. this too shall pass

@LaucherJunge What is meant was the saga of fears. Of course there is no perfect state and there is always something to master and learn, but fears I think could be conquered completely with some realizations.

@Moreira how do I learn that?

@LaucherJunge oh so what you mean here is kind of shadow work. do you have any guides or books on how to find fears and heal them? and I think this work will end, you can gain full emotional mastery, doesnt mean you wont experience it, but you will be ok with it, thats the goal

@aurum I definitely have a fear of approaching girls. This fear is part of a more general fear to make people uncomfortable. Im trying hard to do my best to not interrupt people's lives for the worse with my presence and from that sometimes fear is created, so by approaching girls I fear I might make them uncomfortable. But that does not affect my desire for a genuine relationship, because approaching women doesnt bring those genuine relationships. I tried that before and I realized I just dont want it that way, I want it to be authentic. I tried tinder, had a few matches and was simply disinterested after a few days. The only relationship that will satisfy me is that accidental romantic one, which is by definition by chance, so I have a desire that cant be fulfilled forcibly. @LaucherJunge I actually did that about a year and a half ago, had my cringe, and kind of dealt with it. (I dont have any trauma from that just in case) My desire is different from the one that approaching girls will get me, as I said in response to @aurum I want the accidental girlfriend and not the deliberate one. These are completely different. My opinion thus far is that I should just continue doing the same stuff I did until now and just live with that desire until it gets naturally fulfilled. @Spiral As I mentioned, there are 2 types of girlfriends, and I dont want the one you're suggesting I believe I will grow a lot from having a girlfriend but even more so If I will do personal development (spirituality and life purpose), so I prefer to spend my time on that. P.S. I was in the middle of answering @aurum and your comment brought real breakthrough thanks @Pelin Fucking amazing . I just finished to contemplate and write out my comment and you come and say the exact same thing. You added a bunch, though

@aurum When I say personal development I mean the higher level of personal development, spirituality. This is all material stuff, I want the good internal stuff.

@Spiral personal development is more important to me than having a girlfriend, but the desire to have a girlfriend is still there, how do i deal with that desire? and if i understood you correctly, a girlfriend doesnt "just come" I have to work for it if i want it but how? in my eyes going to places just to meet girls seems desparate, im not that desparate to do that. also having a girlfriend as a trophy for some work kind of seems unnatural and not as romantic, defying the purpose of doing the work. so from that i guess wanting a girlfriend in the first place is unnatural. So the REAL question is how do i deal with that desire? P.S. Lol actually while writing this I remembred some talk of osho that having a girlfriend is not what I really want, but what I really want is to feel love, but the way to get that love is through personal development, therefore having a girlfriend is just a bonus, and if it happens it happens and theres no need to pursuit it. the real question still remains though, can i project that desire into my personal development or how do i deal with it?

Do you think it's necessary? Do you think it's extremely effective or not at all? is it true that after a fast you dont have cravings, so you can easily reorganize your diet to a healthy one? Does it make the mind more clear?

@LaucherJunge any more specifics as to how it helped you think?

@Dragallur lol so the real reason there are more occurrences of cancer in the later years is the increased anxiety and bad emotions people are having. Now you can literally say "this person gives me cancer".

@Nahm in the mornings I had stomach aches because of the hunger, it distracted me. @AleksM's juice idea sounds interesting, I might try that. What are the benefits of this way of eating exactly? im not interested at all in burning fat or anything like that, just being healthier. I recon it's mostly being used to burn fat.

@Alex K I tried it, made me hungry, distracted

@pluto I dont think im advanced enough to believe myself to be a unicorn, one day though.. On a serious note: I think one should advance in his evolution of paradigms smoothy, we cant force ourselves to believe a bunch of stuff, we have to try to be openminded, though that differs from being someone who believes everything. just believing may result in misunderstanding which can lead to a disaster (take religion for example). you're right that "if only they knew.." but they dont, I personally dont, so we have to gradually get that understanding.

@Girzo lol thank you, the first person who answered the question

or should I keep at least a 10 minute habit of meditating?

Im having a very hard time believing that contribution makes the greatest fulfillment one could have. Im thinking about what would I really want and all I come up with is ideas of how to make myself happy, helping people isnt even in the proximity of that. Im thinking about how I would be all enlightened and shit and would blissfully sit exploring the mysteries of the universe near a river and a beautiful wooden house beside the love of my life. maybe you would ask "and what after that?" and my answer would be: exactly the same, I wouldnt need anything, why would I care about doing anything else? I dont believe it will be boring. I read what I wrote right now and it sounds very cringe worthy and I Intellectually understand it's not true, but if I ask honestly myself if I want to contribute to society I would say no. For some reason that's what I believe. Im trying to come up with things that may be worth working a ton for, in other words my life purpose, but im not finding anything worth the cost. I just dont care about humanity more than I care about myself.

@aurum what you said is obvious to me. I know that contribution is the way but what I tried to point out is that I dont feel as though contribution is my main motivation, when it has to be in order to create the most effective life purpose.

not masturbating makes me distracted and objectifying women even more, does it go away ?

do you have any sources as to how to do it? have you done it? how much times?

But what to do with the sexual energy buildup that not masturbating creates? I tried not masturbating in the past and it just was so distracting it wasnt worth it. also, are we talking about watching porn or ejaculating? I have never had sex and probably wont in the next 5-7 years so is it okay for so long not to do anything?