Viking

i see soo much resistance, of course you suffer so much. you believe your thoughts and identify with them too much. read "the power of now" or "loving what is". bro, read books and watch youtube lectures. it helps a lot. by wanting to return to the old ways you identify with your ego, which you claim you are not, see a contradiction there? just observe the thoughts, watch "the power of now" its critical to absorb information like that if nothing works try to see a psychotherapist, you dont know how much that can help

wait, what do you mean by "party tricks" and "enlightenment"? do you believe enlightenment is real or do you believe enlightenment is a party trick? i dont get what youre trying to say.

i will probably take lsd tomorrow, i really want to have a breakthrough experience, i will try self inquiring and to discover my beliefs. i want some lectures like alan watts or other spiritual teachers that might trigger deep insights to get me going.

thank you for the vids, i did lsd 125ug once and lsa before. im gonna take 125ug

I feel like the slow breath does something to my body, i sometimes shake because i lack breath i think, or its because of energies. I have strange feelings in my head, almost like headaches but not really, theyre not that uncomfortable, theyre there most of my day.

what do you mean by "illusion" and what do you mean by "exist"? there is certainly an experience going on for me right now.

no detachment is needed, just observation. it gives the sense when you try to be empty that theres someone thats capable of that.

no, obviously not, but the movement of thought writes whatever i wrote before and am writing now. it doesnt have to be "me" to act.

what does this concept "absolute nothingness" point to, and how do you know that it exists? well, obviously you dont know if it exists, but lets be openminded and consider an option that there is some transformation of consciousness that does SOMETHING, we dont know what. how does that happen to an individual? how to trigger it? since we hit an intellectual ceiling, we cant think our way there. what can we do? according to material i've read and listened to all you have to do is to be the observer for a long enough time. what I guess would increase the chances of a consciousness jump even more is destroying beliefs, that means not to focus on "what is this absolute nothingness, i have to understand it", but to focus on "what do i believe and dont know that i believe", question everything in other words. do you agree?

what do you mean by that practically? whenever we should wait for something, not get lost in thought but be aware of breath? if doing something, do it fully concentrated on the task?

where did i use theory precisely? as i meant it all there is, is the present experience, no theories involved, maybe i used enlightenment concepts just to explain

if i said "self" i meant ego, which is encompassed in the whole. by whole i mean experience, being, you might call it "self"

lmao wow this is huge for me, im always multitasking and putting a ton of shit in my head. i do that because i cant stand doing single things. im always thinking how could i improve, what is reality, browsing the forum, just random stuff and nothing gets done because i dont go deep, i always just scrap the surface, but if i dont do it, it feels like i will become bored, and i feel like i have to figure something out. i also crave the dopamine.

what is identification? im at exactly the same point as op, the self is just part of the whole, but it seems like that's it. everything is meaningless, therefore everything just is, therefore its empty, including the ego, "i" am not the ego, it's all just being, and the ego is inside of it, i dont control anything because i am nothing, theres no such thing as "i", theres only being/consciousness. but i dont carry that around with me into everyday life, i always forget that (like just now writing the sentence, I could say that this "knowledge" isnt usually present in consciousness). i think that theres something deeper but it seems like i cant go anywhere from here, it feels like im at the bottom.

if say, a few centuries from now, the human race would be extremely spiritually advanced, it wont care for survival, therefore it will slowly fade. so by developing ourselves and by trying to make the world more conscious using our life purposes, we're slowly progressing towards getting rid of humans on the planet. I found this to be an extremely beautiful idea, its just a speculation, but i think its beautiful

https://www.quora.com/Yoga-How-has-Kriya-yoga-affected-your-life look at the first answer of achintya idam, a pretty interesting look on kriya yoga.

@7thLetter I think he got rid of it by going to a psychologist, which means that's probably the "mastering psychology" part. yeah, I get what you say, enlightenment is different than mastering your psychology. wow man you opened my eyes that I should read more psychology books, to understand myself better! i too struggled with the problem of "should i force myself" and also came to the conclusion that doing things come naturally as consciousness increases, but then i backtracked that i still should force myself sometimes. the right answer is indeed "balance", but the most important part is wisdom, knowing your psychology.

I agree only partly, because habits are a thing. even if youre very conscious you can still have habits that make you do low consciousness behavior, take for example shinzen young, an enlightened master who was addicted to marijuana after he was enlightened.

@Prabhaker I didnt understand how that connected to what i said

the audio isnt working and the download says "network error" edit: its ok

wow man, those sounds bore the hell out of me, im not as bored in regular breath awareness

I think something that might help is getting more theory in yourself. read books i.e. Jed Mckenna, watch youtube videos i.e. Alan watts. you lack wisdom, therefore you identify with the mind. theory will lessen your identification with the mind, enabling you to sit for longer. pure force doesnt work, the path is carved more by wisdom, not discipline. p.s. thats the point of strong determination, watch videos of shinzen young if u havent already edit: sorry if i offended you, wrote on the tip of my mind

it's already the case that no one is doing anything, "you" just dont realize it, in other word to say it, there is no realization in "your" consciousness that no one is doing anything.

ignorance prevents you from being liberated. distinguish "love" and attachment". if you truly love people you wont be attached. however, thats probably not the case. the left option is attachment, which is ignorance. look at what that attachment really is. edit: @eputkonen lol saying the same at the same time

going after fame and money not ouf of a place of lack is utterly improbable in my opinion.