Viking

make sure you dont deceive yourself before making any rash decisions. get a reality check, are you sure? doubt your insight from all angles, as much as you want to believe it. might be true, i dunno, but to me knowing what was before birth for certain is weird, i can only know the now.

I dont see anything wrong with that. that's life. life is meant to be enjoyed, i dont see any other reason to live.

some ideas: check your diet, is it bad? how much snacks/fast food do you eat? are you eating generally healthy? do you feel a desire to cry with that? maybe some emotions are surfacing up. do you have heartburn? acid reflux? if it persists, check with a doctor, might give you some meds for a bit and itll pass.

I define spiritual progress as how more blissful are you in your everyday life, like sadhguru. i dont care what i realize or not, i only care about the intensity of my life.

if your hands start to spasm try to open them up with force, that's what I did. first time i experienced it i didnt do anything and they hurt after. the second time i thought i'd force them open, it was hard, but it didnt hurt later. i also noticed for me the forcing is only at the beginning if i try to keep the palms open. as the reversing goes on they just keep being open.

im also like that, lol, im just sharing the map. balance is the key i guess.

nope, its still sometimes appears in awareness. sometimes i do notice its just awareness, sometimes i feel like that's happening to "me"- the ego, when I forget. what i meant to say is that you said theres a contradiction, but didnt point out what contradiction, i dont understand what contradiction exactly. what's the problem with a movement of ego? the ego can move however it likes, it can improve itself. the ego is awareness, but that's it, what's the problem/contradiction there? what if we're not talking about freedom from illusion? consciousness work doesnt necessarily have to move towards liberation from illusion, it can also go for example for more joy/blissfulness in life.

it could be, but ultimately, again, measuring progress is a distraction and backtracks progress. p.s. lol sorry if i repeated myself, it just seemed like maybe you didnt get it.

After contemplating about an hour, I have no idea where the ego comes from. "comes from" implies it was somewhere before, but time doesnt exist. it just appears. however, i did get a clarification about my previous statement. there is no "observer" there is only the observed, therefore whenever awareness is "ego" or "thought" it is that. in other words i am "ego" whenever it is awareness. "i" has almost no meaning because in my experience it's associated with the ego, there is only "being" or "awareness", whatever is right now, nothing more, there is no "i". with that, I dont see how there's a contradiction when trying to improve yourself.

i am the one who sees the ego, i am the one who sees thoughts, i dont feel like i am the ego or thoughts.

i dont understand

heared of law of attraction? if you check if the results came, they wont come. @Erlend K said correctly, just keep observing.

it doesnt require a teacher and the road is faster ive heared. its more intense though. what i really like about it though is that you have to use your inner guide to have success with kriya. you have to follow your intuition and not just blindly follow a guru's words. the guru is within in kriya and you rely on that. also its a yoga for a housekeeper, meaning its for a man that has a family, a life purpose, etc. you only have to do 30-60 mins a day to achieve full realization, and not a few hours a day.

wow, thats fucking amazing. you said you "shot" it? you mean a photograph of real life? where is that? are there more photographs?

first, sorry if it sounded like i tried to be mean, I just told it without much consideration for emotion, only love <3 . I presented the fault in your reasoning (or the mushroom's reasoning, whatever you wanna call it). it's that you didnt take the meaninglessness far enough. I tried to explain it. do some enlightenment work if you've gone past a point of no return. because as i see here: you identify as a human. what you said there is true, there is no loving consciousness keeping watch over us because what the hell is "us"? what the hell is "i"? when you approach subjects like that you cant continue reasoning from the human perspective, you have to switch to the non dual lens. everything is one, you are the loving consciousness, you are the meaninglessness, you are everything. the human or "ego" that you think you are is just a distinction, its not you AND a part of you at the same time. everything sounds contradictory here but thats the nature of reality. if you wanna know you have to get into the work, peter raltson consciousness work, yoga, meditation, youtube videos of alan watts, ruper spirta etc. dont worry, the world as you describe it is not really like that, its much more radical than that (lol).

there are 2 perspectives: absolute and personal. meaning can survive only in the personal. in absolute terms there is no meaning. in your trip you tapped into the absolute, you realized there is no meaning, but you didnt go far enough into the absolute. you remained halfway in the personal, because you applied meaning to meaninglessness. that was your fault. if you wouldnt apply meaning to meaninglessness you would be fine.

you are identified with your thoughts and meanings, these are not you. thats what happens when you dont do enough spiritual work before psychedelics. besides, meaning does exist, when you create it, you latched on to a meaning which says nothing is meaningful. its true that meaning does not exist outside yourself but that doesnt mean meaning doesnt exist. you didnt go far enough with the meaninglessness and didnt realize meaninglessness is meaninglessness. in addition, you dont need meaning to be fulfilled, meaning is an illusion and when you attach to it you get into trouble. when you will drop the identification with the self you will see that being is much much more profound that meaning.

@onacloudynight do you get your thumb and pinky to touch involuntarily for a moment? like on hyperventilation from shamanic breahting, when the palms get stuck in a certain position, but only for a moment here.

how much time have you been practicing?

@Quanty oh you were serious, hard to tell. for the extra uninitiated this was a joke can you provide some sources for this

can i mix in with that 2 lines of coke in a week?

i cant, i try to

i start to feel really uncomfortable with the practice. i dont see how asphyxiating oneself can lead to a rest of the mind. to me this practice is just physically dangerous and doesnt make sense. during the practice i feel like i lack oxygen and the head starts to pump, my body enters fight or flight. and i become rather restless, not calm as its supposed to be to enter samadhi or any concentration state. im not sure if its connected but i have headaches and anger issues since the start of the practice. i also cant concentrate even 5 minutes at the end of tye practice, my mind is too restless. also during the practice i fall into thought and forget about the practice while the practice is doing itself.

lmao

could be, as with every experience without psychedelics