Viking

continue growing and never stop no matter what

I did cry in psychedelics and a few days after, but that's all. im planning to read some jung and at the same time to work on my shadow. I tried and still am trying to get into the core of my issues but never mange to.

wish I could cry, there's so much to let out... im jealous I like your profile pic

Today I meditated twice, and in both of those times, i had the following: having thoughts that sounded like other people, hearing music and just hearing sounds. those thoughts were not of my control. for a few seconds i heared my name time and time again by different voices. I also entered kind of a dream like state for a few split seconds here and there that seemed like im in a dream, like i was in some sort of story. that stuff happened when my attention lowered from my breath, when i tried hard to concentrate on breath i didnt have anything. also since the first few sounds came up i started to notice them and when i noticed them they increased. i panicked a little thinking i have schizophrenia or something like that so the voices increased, but then i let go and at the end of the second session i was focused on my breath. is that stuff normal? it has been happening just today, but a few months ago it was also present for a very few meditation sessions. I smoked cannabis 2 days ago and had some dream-like "visuals" (not really visuals, more like imagination), it could be connected. also after my lsd experience I also had sort of a thing like that, imaginatory visuals and sounds, after the effects had passed. few months ago when i had a similar experience i didnt take any drugs.

@cetus56 very accurate

@zoey101 @starsofclay funny that i started this topic from a point if concern and it ended up with "how do i induce that"

lmao yeah, i think its probably that, though it appeared im pretty sure because of the weed, other people who smoked with me reported the same

I dont, so yeah... ill see how stuff goes. I do have some related stuff though like my speech is kinda disorganized, im jumping from topic to topic, i have concentration problems

I remember seeing the video, i dont remember anything said about that, is it there?

should i go get evaluated?

please point out to me if you think im deceiving myself, because it seems too simple. i am simply what is. the ego is what is if awareness is on the ego. so sometimes i am the ego. using the term "i" to describe what i am is kinda not appropriate, because i used to use "i" as a label thats pointing to the ego, not to what i really am. when i pursued enlightenment i was expecting some experience. there doesnt have to be some special experience or something like that when one realizes, because awareness was always awareness. if the realization of awareness appears inside awareness nothing more has to necessarily happen inside awareness. its already the case that i am awareness, nothing has to happen.(by inside awareness i mean as awareness) my identity doesnt exist, it only exists when the feeling "identity" is in awareness, because awareness is existence, theres nothing more besides awareness, because if there was something it would be still awareness. i still identify with the ego when im unconscious, when on autopilot, but when i am conscious i get it that i just am. is what i described now what people call enlightenment? its very simple, theres no mystical experience or something, i feel absolutely normal, i just know "what i am". is there somewhere to go from here? what i guess i should do now is purify the habits, become aware of holes where there is identification with the ego, if the ego resists i can realize i am the resistence, which would purify the mind. love kind of naturally arises for some negative experiences in the body if there is the realization that it is awareness. as i pointed earlier i sometimes forget i am awareness so i gotta get used to get back to that realization whenever i need to. (the realization cant be always present in awareness because its dynamic and limited, its like the screen of a tv can show only a limited image) i notice there is still duality, but at the same time its all the same thing. there are different objects but its all awareness. i think i am free of suffering if im aware at the moment. i will see how ill be in a few days, maybe i am deceiving myself, it cant be that simple, can it? i would appreciate also your input to point out where my faults are.

this work is impossible without surrender. I also experienced somewhat they way you described, like no one is behind the eyes, but it was less intense and I didnt panic. i was like "oh, i dont exist, thats cool". if you have'nt read the book "the power of now", you better, it teaches you how to surrender. if you HAVE read the book, but a long time ago, reread it, im doing it right now and the wisdom is entirely different. surrender bruv

enlightenment doesnt have anything to do with emotional mastery or personal development. probably when you say enlightenment you associate it in your mind with someone like sadhguru who is hella mighty. he's hella mighty not because he's enlightened, more like he's enlightened because he's hella mighty.

i guess the case with me is that i know what i am and can experience it, by not applying meaning, but i have ego beliefs that im not aware of. i feel like i have to start questioning everything in my life and compare it with this truth.

most of our reality is shaped by our ideas, therefore we always get bored, life is dull, etc. how to perceive reality as it is aka to open your third eye? are there any courses, techniques, meditations...? i do kriya yoga, but so far it just gives me strange feelings in the body and lightheadedness. i also meditated breath awareness, but tbh it was crap, i was definitely doing it wrong.

Im not aware that i am bound by fear, do you know if in case I do, how do I become aware of it?

make sure you dont deceive yourself before making any rash decisions. get a reality check, are you sure? doubt your insight from all angles, as much as you want to believe it. might be true, i dunno, but to me knowing what was before birth for certain is weird, i can only know the now.

I dont see anything wrong with that. that's life. life is meant to be enjoyed, i dont see any other reason to live.

some ideas: check your diet, is it bad? how much snacks/fast food do you eat? are you eating generally healthy? do you feel a desire to cry with that? maybe some emotions are surfacing up. do you have heartburn? acid reflux? if it persists, check with a doctor, might give you some meds for a bit and itll pass.

I define spiritual progress as how more blissful are you in your everyday life, like sadhguru. i dont care what i realize or not, i only care about the intensity of my life.

if your hands start to spasm try to open them up with force, that's what I did. first time i experienced it i didnt do anything and they hurt after. the second time i thought i'd force them open, it was hard, but it didnt hurt later. i also noticed for me the forcing is only at the beginning if i try to keep the palms open. as the reversing goes on they just keep being open.

im also like that, lol, im just sharing the map. balance is the key i guess.

nope, its still sometimes appears in awareness. sometimes i do notice its just awareness, sometimes i feel like that's happening to "me"- the ego, when I forget. what i meant to say is that you said theres a contradiction, but didnt point out what contradiction, i dont understand what contradiction exactly. what's the problem with a movement of ego? the ego can move however it likes, it can improve itself. the ego is awareness, but that's it, what's the problem/contradiction there? what if we're not talking about freedom from illusion? consciousness work doesnt necessarily have to move towards liberation from illusion, it can also go for example for more joy/blissfulness in life.

it could be, but ultimately, again, measuring progress is a distraction and backtracks progress. p.s. lol sorry if i repeated myself, it just seemed like maybe you didnt get it.